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COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 












The 

REAL HOME 

by 

MRS. VESTA J. FARNSWORTH 



“Be it ever so humble, there’s no place 
like home.”— Payne. 

“Peace and rest at length have come. 
All the day’s long toil is past; 

And each heart is whispering, ‘Home, 
Home at last!’ ”— Hood. 


\ 


Printed in U. S. A. 


Pacific Press Publishing Association 

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA 

Kansas City, Mo. Portland, Ore. St. Paul, Minn. 

Brookfield, III. Cristobal, C. Z. 





Copyright, 1923, by 
Pacific Press Publishing Association 




©Cl A711137 





Dedication 

O those who have 
homes, and those 
who have none; to 
those who, while striving, 
have not yet reached the 
ideal home life; to all who 
seek to make the home 
below a training ground 
to prepare for the home 
above,— this book is lov¬ 
ingly dedicated by 

The Author. 





PREFATORY 


A gifted author wrote a book. One of its 
readers expressed to the writer the pleasure ex¬ 
perienced while reading it. He bluntly replied: 
“I don’t care whether you were pleased with 
it or not. What I want to know is, Did it do 
you any goodV’ 

This simple book deals with heart-gripping 
themes. It was written with the hope that it 
might do good, and assist its readers to be good. 
By blessed experience we have learned the value 
of the Christian home, and would share that ex¬ 
perience with others. 

The author would gratefully acknowledge the 
assistance gained from stories, facts, and illus¬ 
trations gleaned from many sources. Where it 
was possible to ascertain the name of the au¬ 
thors, due credit has been given. Some “fugi¬ 
tive articles and poems” of great value have 
been used without credit. 

Thanks are also due the Editor, the Pub¬ 
lishers, and the many friends and comrades 
who have helped bring the work to completion 
by kindly criticism and helpful suggestions. 

Y. J. F. 


( 6 ) 


CONTENTS 


“Home, Sweet Home”.9 

Courtship and Marriage.18 

Wedded Lives.33 

The Best Man in the World . •.48 

The Best Woman on Earth.69 

Blasting the Foundation.89 

Parents and Children.109 

Parental Discipline.125 

The Privileges of a Father.142 

Different Types of Fathers.152 

Father and Son.161 

Twentieth-Century Motherhood.180 

Tact in Training.200 

Mother and Daughter.224 

The Best Hour of the Day.237 

The Best Day of the Week.256 

The Family Library. . 270 

Worldly Amusements.291 

Hours of Recreation *.307 

Young Men . 320 

Winsome Young Women. 344 

That Outward Adorning.363 

Thrift and Economy.378 

Hospitality * 390 

The Home in Sorrow.401 

Lengthening Shadow t s.412 

The Home Everlasting.429 


( 7 ) 












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( 8 ) 






Chapter One 


“HOME, SWEET HOME” 

A YOUNG woman accepted a position as 
teacher of violin in a select, private school. 

She spent her last evening at home playing 
for father, mother, big brother, and little Ted. 

After listening to selections from the great 
masters, brother said, “Now play the ‘Home 
Tune.’ Mother will play the accompaniment.” 

This tune was the girl’s own composition, one 
she had written for those she loved best. 

“Here we are sitting around the fire,” she 
said, as she played the low, bass notes. 

Brother interrupted, “Yes, and then father 
and mother begin to talk together.” 

The musician smiled. This music needed no 
interpretation in that home. Clearly, tenderly, 
came the tones, until the last floated away softly 
on the evening air. 

The time came when a noted musician the girl 
greatly admired visited the school where she 
taught. The principal told her she must play 
before him and a distinguished company which 
had been invited. 

When the appointed hour came, the girl trem¬ 
blingly stood before her audience. “I will play 
a very simple melody called the ‘ Home Tune, ’ ’ ’ 
she announced. 

And as she played, the eager, restless group 
before her faded, and she saw only the dim, 

( 9 ) 


10 


TEE REAL HOME 


sweet picture of her own fireside. She saw her 
dear, patient father. She saw her mother. She 
heard big brother say, “Now I come in,” and 
three-year-old Teddy proclaim, “An’ now the 
fairies dance an ’ sing! ’ ’ Then she saw them sit¬ 
ting quietly, dreaming before the dying embers. 

The music ceased. The master violinist came 
to her side and asked that it be repeated. When 
the last notes were finished, he said: 

“This music is different. I spend my life 
trying to find music for the hearts of the people. 
I find that which is brilliant, sentimental, but 
oh, so rarely, real. Your music plays true ” 

Life in the home always “plays true.” There 
is the truest representation of real life. The 
merry laugh rings out. Peace and contentment 
are there, and joy presides. At other times, 
there are heartbreaking sadness and bitter weep¬ 
ing. Alas that there should ever be cruel anger 
and raging passion, bitterest sorrow and the 
silence of death! 

“0 little homes, ye little homes of love! 

Strength of a man; a woman’s song; laugh of a child; 

Warmth of a fire; glow of a lamp; wild 

The wind without, and grim the skies above. 

0 little homes, set close at every hand! 

Ye narrow, walled-in worlds of joys and fears, 

Built of the commonplace, of smiles and tears, 

Ye are the heart and sinew of the land!” 

God made the first home. He made it right. 
It was a pattern for all future earthly homes. 
He founded it on the marriage relation. One 
very good man and one winsome woman under- 


“HOME, SWEET HOME” 


11 

took the making of a perfect home. According 
to Will Carlton, 

“This Adam and Eve more advantages carried 
Than any young couple that ever was married. 

They’d a nice, cozy home, unencumbered and free, 

Save a slight reservation on one little tree; . . . 

And if, when Eve spied that large serpent one day, 

She had acted the usual feminine way 

And piercingly screamed, and run, reckless and blind, 

As if Satan were only two minutes behind; 

Then Adam, manlike, had soothed sweetly her fright, 
Saying, ‘What do you fear? ’Tisn’t poison; ’twon’t bite;’ 
Then, catching a club, he had towered up above it, 

And promptly had pounded the devil out of it, 

’Twould have saved some hot tears, some hard toil, some 
disgrace, 

And been a great thing for the whole human race. 

• • • • • 

“So the Science of Home is the chiefest of all: 

To ward off these dangers that ever befall; 

To beat back these devils of discord and sin 
That always are striving to steal their way in; 

To use all the means God hath placed in our sight, 

To keep our homes innocent, happy, and bright; 

For a home that rejoices in Love's saving leaven, 

Comes deliciously nigh to the splendors of heaven.” 

The earthly home should be a foretaste of the 
heavenly. The first church on earth was a home, 
and the home is the main pillar of the church. 
The home is a loving place; and if love is not 
there, it is unfit to be a living place. 

IDEAL HOMES 

The ideal home is a center of service, first to 
its own inmates, and reaching beyond them, ex¬ 
tends its saving influence afar. In wise and 
uplifting ways we may share with others. 


12 


THE BEAL HOME 


Young men and women may be invited to enjoy 
its blessings, and thus be encouraged and 
strengthened to meet temptation. 

One writer has said that “in the word ‘home’ 

# 

should lie the wealth of all languages, of all 
affections, of all virtuous joys, of all pure 
memories, of all innocent hopes. It is the patter 
of little feet, the gleeful laughter of childhood, 
the happy song of the maiden, the cheerful 
laugh of the lad, the merry pastime, the sweet 
vespers of evening when toil is ended, the united 
meal, the household stories, the music and inno¬ 
cent diversions, the various interests and plans 
revolving about a common center. 

“Home for those consigned to toil, whether 
in office, shop, or field, is where affection gives 
the welcome kiss, where the home circle opens 
wide its arms and throws around you its golden 
bands of love, and hushes every sigh with words 
of welcome, and offers rest to the tired of body, 
brain, and heart. Oh, how I wish we had more 
homes, for then we would have a better, 
brighter, happier world!” 

Where we love is home — 

Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts; 

The chain may lengthen, but it never parts.— Holmes. 

HOME DEFINED 

A British periodical offered a prize for the 
best definition of home. More than five thou¬ 
sand answers were received, among them the 
following: 


“HOME, SWEET HOME ” 


13 


“A world of strife shut out; a world of love shut in.” 

“The golden setting in which the brightest jewel is 
mother.” 

“Home is the blossom of which heaven is the fruit.” 

“The place where the great are sometimes small, and the 
small sometimes great.” 

“The father’s kingdom, the children’s paradise, the 
mother’s world.” 

“Where you are treated best and grumble most.” 

Margaret Sangster says: 

“A home in which father and mother unite in training 
their children, is the one retreat on earth that gathers to 
itself the light of heaven.” 

“The ocean voyager has often seen an island lying sweet 
and calm, a harbor safe and serene, where storm and tem¬ 
pest have no power to harm. That harbor, that island, may 
be likened to the Christian home. Not that there are no 
troubles, no sorrows, otherwise we should be in heaven, to 
which we have no symbol which so nearly approaches the 
perfection of that fair land as the model home.” 

If things are right at home, to its inmates they 
are right everywhere; if things are wrong there, 
to them the whole world is wrong. The home 
life overtops and nndergirds the whole of other 
life, whether public or private. Dr. Talmage 
wrote: “The highest house of Congress is the 
domestic circle: the rocking-chair in the nursery 
is higher than a throne. George Washington 
commanded the forces of the United States, but 
Mary Washington commanded George. 7 ’ 

Calvin Coolidge, Vice President of the 
United States, declares: 

“The destiny, the greatness, of America lies around the 
hearthstone. If thrift and industry are taught there and 
the example of self-sacrifice oft appears; if honor abide 


14 


THE BEAL HOME 


there, and high ideals; if there the building of fortune be 
subordinate to the building of character, America will live 
in security, rejoicing in abundant prosperity and good gov¬ 
ernment at home, and in peace, respect, and confidence 
abroad. If these virtues be absent, there is no power that 
can supply these blessings. Look well, then, to the hearth¬ 
stone. Therein all hope for America lies.” 

LOVE IN THE HOME 

True love begins at home, and, reaching thence, 
Twines sympathetic arms round all our race, 

And fills our interval of time and sense 

With airs from heaven, its native dwelling place. 


For home shall be a type of that above, 

Like Israel’s desert temple long ago, 

Built of the same grand masonry of love 

As that bright dwelling place to which we go. 

— T. R. Williamson. 

• — 

Naught but loving hearts can make a true 
home. There may be wealth, honor of men, costly 
furnishings, plenty of things; but these never 
make a happy home. Nothing but love for the 
Father above and love for one another can bring 
true peace and joy to the home circle. 

Sometimes there is in the heart love which re¬ 
mains unexpressed. This is like a world which 
has a sun, but dark clouds prevent its warmth 
and comfort shining through. If illness comes, 
if death divides, then love finds words and ex¬ 
presses itself in deeds; but it may be too late 
then to satisfy the hungry heart of husband, 
wife, or child. 

A good home is an invincible armor that pro¬ 
tects man, woman, and child in this evil w r orld. 


“HOME, SWEET HOME " 


15 


If there is no love for home, something is wrong. 
In his own home a man is necessary. It is 
he, not another, whose coming is waited‘ for, 
longed for, and grieved for. It matters little 
elsewhere whether he comes or goes. At home 
he can tell his loneliness. There he reveals his 
failures, and is not ashamed. There he confesses 
his sins, and is forgiven. He shares his inmost 
soul with no other but the one whom he has 
made queen of his heart and home. 

The wife in the ideal home is quickly recog¬ 
nized by a brooding tenderness. She scorns to 
utter words of blame, and to be irritable. She 
will not wreck the evening’s joy by careless, un¬ 
loving words that cause the forehead to become 
anxious, and bring a mist to the eyes. 

The ideal home will be more than a place to 
eat and drink, to work and sleep. There will be 
frolics and games for the children. Father and 
mother will plan and be a part of all their 
pleasures. 

There will be neatness and order, pictures, 
books, music,— such as can be afforded,— in a 
home that attracts and holds. Gratitude will 
be felt and expressed for favors received from 
heaven and from one another. Gloomy moods, 
cloudy faces, surly manners, nagging, complain¬ 
ing, worrying, fretting, faultfinding, make a 
dwelling a haunted house from which its in¬ 
mates gladly escape. 

The government of state or nation is of small 
importance when compared with the government 




16 


THE REAL HOME 


of the millions of homes in onr country. No 
administration can be so harmful as bad admin¬ 
istration of government at home. No statesman¬ 
ship can save us when lawlessness and anarchy 
rule there. If its homes are right, the nation 
prospers. 

CHRIST IN THE HOME 

But after all, that home which locks and bars 
its doors to the Saviour of men is a barren 
waste. It may be complete in every other sense, 
but the “one thing needful” is lacking, while the 
less pretentious, the humble home may be as a 
palace, because ‘ ‘ the Lamb is the light thereof. ’ ’ 
He illumined the peasant home in Nazareth; 
He was its light, its joy, its burden bearer. He 
was welcomed to the Bethany household, and 
brought to it physical and spiritual life. 

To many now dark and troubled homes He 

%j 

would bring peace and rest if His presence were 
welcome. Many alienated husbands and wives 
need His forgiving spirit, His forbearance, His 
love. Many broken-hearted fathers and mothers 
who mourn over wayward sons and daughters, 
greatly, oh, so greatly, need His help and wis¬ 
dom. Straying children are listening for His 
loving call. Everywhere there are perplexed, 
weary souls, sick in body and mind, who need 
Him as their Helper, their Healer. We all need 
Him, or life at home, in business, in the church, 
will be a failure. “ Behold, I stand at the door, 
and knock,” He says. Shall we not let Him in? 


“HOME, SWEET HOME " 


17 


It has been said that John Howard Payne’s 
immortal lines should be our national hymn. 
We might make a worse choice. 

Long ago twenty thousand people assembled 
in New York City to hear Jenny Lind sing. 
She sang selections from Beethoven, Handel, 
and other artists, and the great audience was 
charmed by the sweetness of her voice. But 
suddenly she paused. The Swedish nightingale 
seemed to be pluming her wings of song for 
loftier flight. Then came in tender tones, 

“ ’Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, 

Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.” 

The vast concourse caught its breath. The 
people forgot where they were. Then they burst 
into wildest applause. The voice of the singer 
was silenced. Men and women wept. 

Why?—Because “home” touches the heart 
as does no other theme. Home is the Inspira¬ 
tion Point of life. The earthly home may 
become as a little heaven below where prepara¬ 
tion is made to enter the heaven above. 

Two birds within one nest; 

Two hearts within one breast; 

Two spirits in one fair, 

Firm league of love and prayer, 

Together bound for aye, together blessed. 

An ear that waits to catch 
A hand upon the latch; 

A step that hastens its sweet rest to win; 

A world of care without, 

A world of strife shut out,- 
A world of love shut in. 

—Dora Greenwood. ' 


2 



Chapter Two 

COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE 


“It is not good that man should be alone!” 

Joy, joy to you who sound the wedding bells! 
In Eden’s bowers regained you may have known 
“It is not good that man should be alone.” 

And some glad day, before the great white throne, 
You, hand in hand, may gather immortelles. 

— S. J. Townsend. 


D 


R. CORTLAND MYERS is authority for 
the statement that three thousand mar¬ 


riage ceremonies are performed in the world 
every day. 

A man uses great care in selecting a partner 
in business. If he wishes to purchase a jewel, he 
takes more time to examine the gem than the 
casket that contains it. A partnership in busi¬ 
ness can easily be dissolved. A precious stone 
may be exchanged or sold. But how much more 
care is necessary in selecting a companion for 
life, one concerned not in business only, but in 
every relation and interest as long as both 
shall live! 

If a man purchases a house, he inquires about 
its situation, whether he can secure a perfect 
title, the cost of the property, and whether it is 
adapted to his needs; yet a man and a woman 
unite their interests in marriage without serious 
reflection as to whether they are adapted to each 
other, or whether their union will prove a bless¬ 
ing or a curse. Surely more foresight and good 
( 18 ) 


COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE 19 

judgment should be used in such a choice than 
in a business transaction. 

Too many look upon marriage as a trivial 
ceremony instead of a life partnership; hence, 
on every hand are disappointed, unhappy, mis¬ 
erable married men and women, and homes filled 
with discord and distress. Upon no other choice 
in life does so much of earthly happiness or 
unhappiness depend. 

Many have no higher motive in marriage 
than to please themselves. A young man is at¬ 
tracted by a pretty face and pleasing manners. 
A young woman sees the prospect of a home, 
some one to love and care for her; and nothing 
further is considered. Neither understands that 
true love is based on unselfish sacrifice for the 
one beloved, on giving rather than on receiving. 

PREPARATION NEEDED 

One who intends to enter the marriage rela¬ 
tion should question his motive. Does^ it spring 
from selfishness, or from pure affection ? Much 
that is called love is base passion. True love 
can afford to wait. It thinks of the welfare of 
the one beloved, instead of selfish gratification. 
It does not take for its measuring rod, “I,” 
“me,” and “mine.” 

A young man should have good health before 
he plans to marry. To be clean in body and 
mind is necessary if he would be a good hus¬ 
band. It is well for him to obtain his school 
education before marriage, for he will find him- 


20 


THE REAL HOME 


self seriously handicapped if he undertakes to 
finish a college course afterward. 

In ancient times a young man’s ability was 
questioned. Was he industrious? Could he 
provide for a wife and family? 

Before a young man loses his heart, he will do 
well to study the thirty-first chapter of Prov¬ 
erbs. -Will the girl he loves develop into the 
wife there described? The following qualities 
also are worthy of consideration: 

She keeps her own room in order. 

She is a good housekeeper. 

She can bake good bread, and prepare tasty, 
inexpensive meals. 

She can do plain sewing. 

She is neat and modest in her dress instead 
of stylish and extravagant. 

She is intelligent, and possesses a practical 
education. 

She is not quick-tempered and easily of¬ 
fended; neither is she sullen and moody. 

The one chosen for a wife should be an ear¬ 
nest Christian. 

HOW TO CHOOSE A HUSBAND 

How shall a young woman know that her ad¬ 
mirer is worthy of consideration as her future 
companion? She will do well to learn whether 
he possesses these qualifications: 

Is he a Christian? If not, he lacks the one 
thing needful. 


COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE 21 

Has lie bad habits of any kind? Is lie ad¬ 
dicted to vice ? Does he drink, use tobacco, play 
games of chance, or keep bad company? 

Has he a practical education ? Is he studious 
and a lover of good literature? 

Is he industrious? Has he entered some line 
of business in which he has begun to win 
success ? 

Is he cheerful and social, or gloomy and 
morose ? 

How does he treat his mother and sister? 
Does he expect them to wait on him ? How does 
he treat all women? 

Is he kind to animals, or does he delight in 
tormenting them? 

Is he a spendthrift? Does he spend money 
freely for clothes, amusements, or pleasure of 
any kind, or is he saving and economical? 

Is he selfish and overbearing in his dealings 
with others, or is he generous and kind in all 
his associations? 

If a young man does not have these creden¬ 
tials of character, wait a while, young woman; 
keep on in your own preparation to match grace 
with grace until the right one comes to claim you. 

A husband needs training to become the head 
of an efficient, happy home. 

STUDY THE MARRIAGE RELATION 

Buskin says: “Marriage ... is only the seal 
which marks the vowed transition of temporary 
into untiring service, and of fitful into eter¬ 
nal love.” 


22 


THE BEAL HOME 


Marriage is one of God’s best gifts to man. 
It is a sacred covenant, based on mutual regard 
and affection, that the parties will live together 
as husband and wife until death separates them. 

He who gave Eve to Adam as a helpmeet, performed 
His first miracle at a marriage festival. In the festal hall 
where friends and kindred rejoiced together, Christ began 
His public ministry. Thus He sanctioned marriage, recog¬ 
nizing it as an institution that He Himself had estab¬ 
lished. . . . 

The family tie is the closest, the most tender and sacred, 
of any on earth. It was designed to be a blessing to man¬ 
kind. And it is a blessing wherever the marriage covenant 
is entered into intelligently, in the fear of God, and with 
due consideration for its responsibilities .—“The Ministry 
of Healing ” pages 356, 357. 

True marriage is a Christian institution. 
There is a legal or civil marriage, into which the 
contracting parties may enter without regard 
for God in their personal experience, and with¬ 
out His blessing upon their union. The civil 
marriage, though not ideal, is a protection to the 
family and the home, and often human affection 
binds hearts closely together. In this country, 
Christian marriages are also civil or legal. 

SHOULD CHRISTIANS MARRY UNBELIEVERS ? 

Christian young people will not enter into a 
lifelong alliance without asking counsel of God. 
They will be willing to accept His choice, to 
abide by His decision. The man and woman who 
become interested in each other will inquire if 
God approves their union. A power we do not 
possess is needed to read hearts and to know the 


COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE 


23 



Young people should also ask counsel of their parents. Father is a better 
judge of men than his daughter can be. 


future. They should ask if their choice is His 
for them. He will not disappoint the earnest 
seeker. But many fear to trust His choosing; 
they rely on their own wisdom. 

Young people should also ask counsel of their 
parents. Father is a better judge of men than 
his daughter can be. Mother’s clear eye can 
often read clearly the character of the young 
woman who interests her son, and will discern 
whether she will develop into a good wife. It 
is unfair to parents not to ask their advice on 
a matter so important. 

It is a serious mistake for a Christian to 
marry an unbeliever. 44 Only in the Lord,” is 
the Bible rule. Even a professed Christian man 
and woman may not be fitted to live together 





24 


THE REAL HOME 


as husband and wife; much less can those live in 

harmony who have little or no sympathy with 

one another’s religious convictions. “Unless 

vou would have a home where the shadows are 
«/ 

never lifted, do not unite yourself with one who 
is an enemy of God.” 

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with 
unbelievers.” Such a yoke will become galling, 
as many have proved by sad experience. One 
earnest Christian young woman who made the 
experiment wrote: 

“I have a good home, a good husband, and all, but oh, I 
am so starved for a different plan and way of living. I find 
all is true that has been written regarding this most impor¬ 
tant undertaking. The world is so full of things that seem 
good, and being constantly in it, takes all else away. Not 
that I have a desire for the world, but it takes time and 
energy, so that the all-important thing of seeking God is 
let go, and one awakens to find himself lost. I do love Him, 
but feel now as though I should like to sound into the ears 
of every one who is harboring such a thought, that it is an 
unwise step, a dangerous one, a sad one, instead of a happy 
one as we plan. 

“Yes, there is all power in prayer, but I have let go some¬ 
how; and now I seem to have a brass heaven above and no 
help seems near. I believe in God, but power is lacking.” 

Love is the most vital principle of life. It 
gives zest to joy, and lightens burdens; there is 
peace and harmony when the love of God and 
union in His service bind hearts together. 
There can be no real love where the golden cord 
of Christian fellowship is lacking. Marriages 
between Christians and unbelievers are wholly 
unadvisable — yes, wrong; for the path before 



COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE 


25 

them is filled with clouds and tempests, and ends 
in darkness, unless, as sometimes happens, the 
unbeliever becomes a Christian. 

Those who marry expect to increase their 
happiness. But there must be union of senti¬ 
ment, a planning and a working together for 
the same object. To the true Christian the hope 
of heavenly joy, union with Christ, comes before 
every other consideration; therefore, there can 
be no true union between one who lives for this 
world and one whose life is hid with Christ 
in God. 

Yet in spite of warnings and the experience 
of those who venture on forbidden ground, some 
will argue that tlieir case is different; that they 
feel sure they will be able to save the object of 
their affections. 

One wife thus relates her experience: 

“Oh, I want to be nearer and nearer each day to God, 
but it seems that my cares and the indifference of my hus¬ 
band cause me to be negligent of my duty! The cares of 
my household would be nothing if I could only lean upon 
my husband to lead in spiritual things. But he is not con¬ 
verted ; and while he does not oppose me, yet at times I feel 
crushed and withered spiritually because I cannot converse 
with him on subjects that are nearest and dearest to my 
heart; in other words, I cannot feel free in my spiritual 
life. ‘Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers/ 
is God’s admonition to us; and yet we are like Eve; we dis¬ 
believe God’s judgment, and taste the forbidden fruit, and 
like her also, we receive the recompense for our sins, and 
many are the lives that are blighted as the result. Oh that 
young people could realize the danger of marriage with 
unbelievers! 


26 


THE BEAL HOME 


“I feel more every day my need of my husband’s help 

with my little ones. I am too weak to lead them alone. I 

pray that the time may be hastened when his heart may 

be made right with God, and we in harmony may live for 

eternitv.” 

«/ 

There are many who lament their mistake 
when too late. Some will decide wisely to follow 
the Bible rule, and will be warned by the unsat¬ 
isfactory experience of others. 

Those who are united to unbelievers carry the 
heavy end of the load. Where they most need 
help and sympathy, it is lacking. They have no 
one with whom to share their highest joys or 
their deepest griefs. In one sense they walk 
alone. The house is divided. Unity cannot 
exist. Under such pressure many have become 
discouraged and have abandoned their faith. 

COURTSHIP 

It is well for young people first to be com¬ 
rades, without being sentimental. Traits will be 
manifested in their associations which indicate 
strength or weakness of character, and it is wise 
to become well acquainted before marriage. 

It is well always to remember that true love 
“seeketh not her own;” it is unselfish. This 
trait may be cultivated during courtship, and 
bear its blessed fruit later in married life. 

Let those who are contemplating marriage weigh every 
sentiment and watch every development of character in the 
one with whom they think to unite their life destiny. Let 
every step toward a marriage alliance be characterized by 
modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and an earnest purpose to 
please and honor God. Marriage affects the after life both 


COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE 27 

* 

in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian 
will make no plans that God cannot approve .—“The Min¬ 
istry of Healing ” page 359. 

BE HONEST AND SINCERE 

In courtship there must be absolute sincerity. 
To strive to win affection, or to accept it with¬ 
out striving, and then toss it aside as a worthless 
thing, is unworthy of any man or woman. Never 
flirt. Let your attitude in all affairs of the heart 
be perfectly honorable. Do not accept loverlike 
attentions from a person you do not love. 

Some seem to regard it as creditable to have 
a new lover every few weeks. Such persons do 
great injury to themselves and to others. 

Dr. Cortland Myers deals thus with these 
hypocrites: 

There is a foul fiend dressed in the bright garments of 
frivolity and flirtation. He is guilty of the blackest crimes. 
In the whole list of sins, his is, in some respects, the mean¬ 
est. His name is “Flirt,” and he is only the shadow of a 
man. He is the shell without the kernel, a painted, polished 
surface that has no heart and fountain of real life below. 

The young woman, the girl, who follows this unholy 
pastime, is not a flower of humankind, but a mere bit of 
thistledown floating in its lightness on the winds of social 
falsehood; a butterfly in seeming, all airy and bright- 
colored, but under the wings, a mere loathsome caterpillar, 
with a contorted body and no soul at all. The most despic¬ 
able of all the members of the human family is the one who 
trifles with those eternal verities of love, of the heart, and 
of the sweet and solemn pledge of holy betrothal. . . . 

The need of this hour is to restore to the promise of 
marriage its rightful sanctity. There is more solemnity 
here than even at the marriage altar. The latter is only 
the repetition of the former; the one only the publication 


THE REAL HOME 


28 

of the other, that was performed in the secret silence of the 
soul with ten thousand angels for witnesses.— "The Lost 
Wedding Ring ” pages 46-50. 

A visitor, while passing through a hospital 
for the insane, came to a padded cell, in which 
was a girl whose clawlike hands clasped the iron 
bars that inclosed her. Her sad face peered out 
between them, and her low moans were pitiful 
to hear. 

“What brought her here?” was asked. 

“Her lover was untrue, and she became in¬ 
sane years ago on account of it, ’ ’ was the answer. 

There is a just God who will avenge such 
wrongs. It is an awful sin to trifle with a lov¬ 
ing heart, to deceive, mislead, and betray. 

MANNER OF COURTSHIP 

“Avoid the appearance of evil,” is a wise 
maxim to follow during the interesting and 
thrilling days of courtship. Young women and 
young men will do well to safeguard their repu¬ 
tation. They should not permit liberties or 
conduct which would compromise them in any 
way. Nothing should be done of which they will 
ever feel ashamed, and which will bring regret 
in after years. Let them be afraid of famili¬ 
arity, and let it be known that it will not be 
tolerated. 

Take time to become acquainted. Don’t be 
in a hurry. If you are in doubt, wait. When 
sure that preparation of body, soul, and heart 
is complete, and that the marriage ceremony 


COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE 


29 


will only ratify what has already been done in 
heaven, then the marriage day may be appointed. 

WEDDING BELLS 

A deep and holy joy pervades all the plans 
for this occasion. Since marriage is a Christian 
institution, one of the keepsakes brought from 
Eden, it is certainly appropriate that everything 
connected with it should be in harmony with 
the Creator’s idea. 

Jesus will be present at the wedding if He is 
invited. His presence will not lessen joy, but 
increase it. It is questionable whether He would 
approve of all the expense and outward show 
customary at worldly weddings, and it would be 
well to pause and ask whether this or that will 
please Him when laying plans for this pleasant 
occasion. Hone will ever regret that they con¬ 
sulted His wishes. 

There will be joy, real joy, in the hearts of 
those most interested. The pleasure of the ex¬ 
pectant bridegroom is a type of the rejoicing our 
Master feels in His chosen ones. “As the bride¬ 
groom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God 
rejoice over thee.” He knew that every bride 
would think of her wedding outfit, for He asks, 
“Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride 
her attire?’'’ The day a young woman is united 
to her beloved should be one of the happiest in 
all her life, and she should look her best. 

Still, the sensible bride will hesitate before 
spending so much upon finery for her wedding 


THE BEAL HOME 


30 

that she will be a further burden on those who 
have educated and cared for her all her life. 
She will not have her mind so occupied with 
clothes that there will be no time to think of the 
untried future. The thoughts of a bride before 
her wedding day are long, long thoughts. They 
are too sacred to be spoken. In mute expectancy 
and tender trust, they reach to the future with 
the husband to whom she is giving all her heart. 

She remembers so many who have been un¬ 
happily married. They started as though they 
expected wedded life to be a pleasure excursion 
instead of a serious problem to be studied, a 
mine where rich nuggets await the seeker of 
wealth. 

It is to be feared that many brides give more 
attention to the wedding gown, the many cos¬ 
tumes she thinks necessary, the bridesmaids and 
how they will appear, the wedding feast, and 
the expected presents, than to the heart prepa¬ 
ration, the unselfish purpose, that should fill 
every bride with inexpressible longing. 

There seems to be an appropriateness in hav¬ 
ing the marriage solemnized in a church; but if 
the parties choose otherwise, let the wedding 
take place at home, surrounded by the dear ones. 
Marriage is a holy, sacred institution, and 
should be celebrated as such. The wedding may 
be conducted in such a way that the day will 
ever be gladly remembered. 

And now the feast is spread. The minister 
has arrived. The hour strikes. The wedding 


COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE 31 

march begins; then comes the ceremony. There 
is a holy hush as the vows are spoken. Christ 
Himself seems to place His hands on the bowed 
heads as the officiating minister of God offers 
prayer for the two made one. Then, amid smiles 
and tears, greetings and congratulations are 
showered upon the happy couple. 

THE MINOR CHORD 

But where is mother after they have sped 
away for the honeymoon ? — She is found in her 
own room, father sitting beside her, their hands 
clasped. There are tears on mother’s cheek, a 
quiver in her voice. Yes, she is glad Dorothy is 
married, but oh, how she will miss her! 

One daughter, the eldest of a large family, 
w T ho had shared home burdens until her wed¬ 
ding day, could hardly understand why mother 
pressed her so closely to her quivering, agonized 
heart as she left home after her marriage, and 
the first letter received from her father said: 
“Your mother and I were like David’s men at 
Ziklag, the day after you left us. We wept until 
we had no more power to weep.” 

Fathers and mothers know so well the experi¬ 
ence retold in the following lines: 

A humble cottage ’neath the hill, 

Where children laugh and romp at will — 

With parents’ tender love and care, 

How could their lives be else than fair ? 

Oh, let them all be glad to-day, 

For swift the years will pass away, 



32 


THE REAL HOME 


And when they’re women grown, and men, 
’Twill never be the same again. 


The wedding bells may sweetly ring, 

And glor}^ be on everything; 

But when one leaves the dear home nest, 

’Tis lonelier for all the rest. 

And if they one by one shall leave, 

How can the parents help but grieve? 

All come and go, and love — but then, 

’Tis never quite the same again. 

Ah, well! perhaps ’tis better so, 

That deeper meanings we may know. 

There is no loss, no grief, no pain, 

That may not bring its own sweet gain; 

And in that blessed land above, 

There’ll be again one home, one love, 

Then one in heart, and one in name, 

At last ’twill ever be the same. 

— Mrs. Frank A. Breck. 

The wonderful day is over. The bride has 
folded her veil and laid it away,— the veil she 
will wear but once in all her life. A piece of 
her wedding gown, a bit of her cake, and flowers 
from her bouquet, as keepsakes,— all, all are 
laid aside. 

And then a sense of new responsibility comes 
over the bride. She is a married woman . She 
is to be the mistress in a new home. What does 
the future hold for her and her husband? Will 
they be simply husband and wife, or will they 
be as well the best of friends, enjoying to the 
full the good things of life? 



Chapter Three 


WEDDED LIVES 

A STORY is told of Archbishop Ryan, who 
went to a mining district to administer con¬ 
firmation to a class about to enter the Catholic 
Church. During the service a nervous little girl 
was asked what matrimony was. 

“Oh,” she replied, “it is a state of terrible 
torment which those who enter are compelled to 
undergo for a time in order to fit them for a 
better world!” 

“No, no!” interrupted an assistant priest, 
“you are thinking of the definition of pur¬ 
gatory. ’ ’ 

“Let her alone,” said the old archbishop, 
laughing. “What do you or I know about it? 
Maybe she’s right.” 

Whether married life becomes purgatory or 
paradise depends on the persons who enter this 
sacred union. Many seem to think that matri¬ 
mony is a state of bliss where troubles come no 
more; no, not exactly that, but where there will 
be much less to trouble them; and so they paint 
an imaginary picture of married life, lovely as 
a summer day. 

These persons soon awake from their pleas¬ 
ant dream; and sad indeed it is if they have 
not prepared for coming storms and tempests. 
After the excitement of the wedding is over and 
the honeymoon has dipped silently into life’s 

(33) 


3 


34 


THE REAL HOME 


restless sea, the trying hour comes. If any de¬ 
ception lias been practiced, the persons involved 
are undeceived, for now they become really 
acquainted. The feverish desire for possession 
is gone. The business of adaptation is before 
them. They must learn how to live together 
happily and peacefully. 

It is a great attainment for two frail, sinful 
hearts to become one. Two different musical 
instruments are not easily kept in tune; there 
must be constant adjusting and tuning. What 
can be expected, then, of two human harps with 
a thousand strings to be kept in unison and 
harmony? In keeping the wedded harps in 
tune, the husband must do his part, the wife hers. 

One young wife confided this to her mother: 
“You know, mamma, a woman has to be very 
generous to be married. She lias to care ever 
so much more about some one else than about 
herself or her work in the world or even about 
how much her hush and cares for her. She must 
like helping out better than being helped out, or 
she can’t be happy.” 

Helen Hunt Jackson has expressed the same 
thought: 

“Oh, Love is weak 

Which counts the answers and the gains, 

Weighs all the losses and the pains, 

And eagerly each fond word drains, 

A joy to seek! 

“When Love is strong, 

It never tarries to take heed, 


WEDDED LIVES 


35 


Or know if its return exceed 
Its gift; in its sweet haste no greed, 

No strife, belong. 

“It hardly asks 
If it be loved at all: to take 
So barren seems, when it can make 
Such bliss for the beloved’s sake 
Of bitter tasks! 

“So much we miss 
If Love is weak! so much we gain 
If Love is strong! God thinks no pain 
Too sharp or lasting to ordain 
To teach us this.” 

Surely this sentiment is an essential factor of 
.all true happiness in married or single life. If 
the husband will apply to himself the Scriptural 
measure, “ Husbands, love your wives, even as 
Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself 
for it,” he will be all a wife should desire. He 
will not absent himself from wife and home 
unless it is necessary. When compelled to be 
away, -his thoughts, his love, will be for the 
absent one. His feelings are well expressed in 
Robert Cameron Rogers’ beautiful stanzas en¬ 
titled “The Rosary”: 

“The hours I spent with thee, dear heart, 

Are as a string of pearls to me; 

I count them over, every one apart, 

My rosary,— my rosary. 

“Each hour a pearl, each pearl a prayer 
To still a heart in absence wrung; 

I tell each bead unto the end,— and there 
A cross is hung! 


36 


THE REAL HOME 


“0 memories that bless and burn! 

0 barren gain and bitter loss! 

I kiss each bead, and strive at last to learn 
To kiss the cross, sweetheart, 

To kiss the cross.” 

\ 

6 ‘ She that is married careth . . . how she may 
please her husband.” That should be her care. 
There is no one whom she will desire so much 
to please. Her thought, her effort, will be to 
make her husband happy. The hours will be 
long when he is absent. There will be an empti¬ 
ness in her heart till he returns. While she will 
not make heavy demands on his time or strength, 
she longs to have him near. If far away, per¬ 
haps for weeks or months at a time, she feels, 
if she does not say,— 

Dear heart, thy absence brings the night, 

Time seems to pause with nothing bright; 

And every hour is long and drear, 

And life is changed without you near. 

Thy voice is like the robin’s song 

That trills so sweet as spring grows strong; 

Thine eyes convey a tender light, 

So full of love and deep delight. 

Thy words fall softly on my heart, 

And dormant pulses beat and start; 

Then all the world grows fair and new, 

When you return, my lover true. 

I bid time pause, whene’er you stay, 

And hasten fast, when far away; 

Oh, fondly think of her so true, 

That lives alone for love of you! 

— Louise L. Matthews. 



WEDDED LIVES 


37 

Husband and wife will cleanse themselves of 
selfishness which fails to safeguard their hours 
of companionship. He will exert his best powers 
to become worthy of her hovering love, she will 
preserve the faith so dear to both in the hours 
of courtship. There will be no settling down in 
saddened silence. 

But there will be trials hard to meet that 
must be borne together. In such times let this 
excellent counsel be followed: 

Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements 
may arise, let neither husband nor wife harbor the thought 
that their union is a mistake or a disappointment. Deter¬ 
mine to be all that it is possible to be to each other. Con¬ 
tinue the early attentions. In every way encourage each 
other in fighting the battles of life. Study to advance the 
happiness of each other. Let there be mutual love, mutual 
forbearance. Then marriage, instead of being the end of 
love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. The 
warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to 
heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven .—“The Ministry 
of Healing ” page 360. 

Marriage gives no life insurance on happi¬ 
ness. It is not a panacea for the ills of life. It 
is not a bed of roses without thorns. Yet it 
opens wide the door to joys like those of Eden. 

A weary husband reached his home after a 
trying day. As his glance fell on the cheerful 
lights, the tidy rooms, the simple meal waiting 
his coming, he caught his wife to his heart, and 
exclaimed, “O darling, you are a homemaker!” 
The words were but the expression of his inmost 
thought, and the wife felt that never had he 
spoken praise so sweet. 


38 


THE REAL HOME 


Tlie wife is truly the homemaker. Upon her 
management, good judgment, neatness, order, 
taste, energy, cheerfulness, depends the struc¬ 
ture which we call Home. It is her business, 
her calling, to bring inside the walls of her 
dwelling an indefinable atmosphere that rests 
a tired man and makes him hasten his steps as 
he turns the last corner. Here peace, rest, hope, 
culture, companionship, make the home a haven 
to body and soul. 

A lady wrote congratulations to some newly 
married friends, and received this reply: 

“I want to tell you that Mr. A. and I both appreciated 
the little message of good wishes for our happiness that 
came from you and your husband. I do not know of any 
of our friends who, from an intimate knowledge of the word, 
could include more in a wish for our ‘happiness’ than you. 
And I must tell you that you two did more to establish the 
foundation for happiness for us than any one else in the 
world. That may surprise you, but it is trite. My short stay 
in your home upset some of my ideas very materially, and 
established other ideals that, as I said before, laid the foun¬ 
dation for our complete happiness. It was -this way: 

“While our engagement was in no sense a ‘business deal/ 
we had agreed that it should be my privilege to continue my 
work; to do this, I had made the bargain with Mr. A. that 
we would room, and board at the restaurant, as we had been 
doing, and that I should continue my hours at the office as 
before. Having made the bargain, I knew that Mr. A. would 
never ask me to do differently, and the matter was settled. 

“I never realized that our room would never be a ‘home/ 
and that the restaurant would never really feed us, until I 
visited you. Your home simply breathed peaceful, deep- 
seated contentment and happiness. Your husband was 
evidently still in love with his wife. You had been a success 
in the art of homemaking; and with it all, you held an active 
part in the world’s work. 


WEDDED LIVES 


39 

“I began a mental comparison as to which plan would 
make the most contented husband, and decided that the 
chances were with Mr. C.’s and your plan. The more I saw 
of you two in your home, the more homesick I became; and 
before I left, I had decided a few things. When I saw Mr. 
A., I told him I had decided to keep house and have my 
office at home; that I could burn the beans and write letters 
at the same time just as well as not. He never doubted my 
ability along that line; but he was surprised that I had 
changed my mind, and more pleased than I had imagined 
he would be. When I told him that you were responsible, 
he said that he should always owe you a debt of gratitude 
and bless the day I visited you. 

“And so you see you are missionaries in more ways than 
one. As a result we are housekeeping, and far happier than 
we would otherwise have been. It keeps me a little busier, 
but it is well worth the extra effort. So I must vote you 
my lasting gratitude for the lesson on life that you taught 
me. My thoughts of your home are of the sweetest. No 
experience in my life ever appealed to me more; and if, as 
a homemaker, I shall succeed as well as you have, my dear 
friend, my life’s dream will be fulfilled.” 

Little had this friend thought, when enter¬ 
taining her guest, that that guest was taking 
note of what was passing in the home. She 
was amazed at the appreciation expressed, for 
she had never supposed her homemaking was 
noticed by any outside her own family. 

Every true man wants a home, not a hoarding 
place. The modern custom of renting apart¬ 
ments and eating in restaurants deprives the 
wife of the privilege of being a homemaker. 
It robs husband and children of all that clusters 
about the name of home. It allows the wife too 
much time for idleness. 


40 


THE BEAL HOME 


She must do something; so, when not em¬ 
ployed there, she spends her time riding, visit¬ 
ing, attending theaters and movies, or studying 
the fashions. It is small wonder that both hus¬ 
band and wife tire of such a life, grow weary of 
each other, and that another case is brought into 
the divorce courts. Give us back the old- 
fashioned home with all it stands for, and it 
will add to the happiness and well-being of its 
inmates! 

14 NEUTRAL TERRITORY” 

In some families husband and wife do not 
share confidences. They watch each other and 
guess what is going on underneath. 

One husband tells of an arrangement that 
from the first brought peace to his home. 

i 

“Three years without a semblance of a quarrel!” lie said. 

“And do you want to know how we do it ? — The big 
chair deserves all the credit. When we were married, we 
had less than a hundred dollars with which to buy furni¬ 
ture. A quarter of it went into the purchase of a chair 
big enough to hold us both. Now it holds her and me and 
a little chunk of a fellow besides. 

“That chair was ceremoniously christened ‘neutral ter¬ 
ritory.’ 

“A house rule was made that whenever anything went 
wrong, the offended should summon the offender into the 
good-natured depths of ‘neutral territory’ to talk things 
over quietly and sanely. In ‘neutral territory’ no high- 
pitched voices or excitable states of mind are permitted. 
The stories that big chair could tell would fill a book, but 
it has never failed to accomplish marvels as a friction 
eliminator. 

“Talking it over is the best medicine for all misunder¬ 
standings, provided we talk on ‘neutral territory’; talk with 
soft voices, open minds, sympathetic hearts, and a desire to 
speak a common language. 


WEDDED LIVES 


41 


“Silence is a blessing at times; but silence in the face of 
misunderstanding is more dangerous than matches in the 
hands of babies. 57 

The “big chair” represents a condition of 
mind. It represents getting closer together, 
each looking at matters from the viewpoint of 
the other. 

CONFIDENCE 

All is not well when husbands and wives have 
secrets from each other. True love is confiding. 
Frankness in all intercourse, a kindly sharing 
of thought and experience, will prevent false¬ 
hood and misrepresentation. 

Confidence cannot be bought. There must be 
the bedrock belief that each is true to the other; 
that no third party shares knowledge or an 
affection which the other may not know; that 
these two are one in living honest, clean lives, 
whether present or absent; and that love is the 
bond that unites them. 

If husband and wife cannot trust each other, 
the cord that binds them is frayed, and if not 
strengthened, will eventually be broken. Con¬ 
fidence is life; distrust, a poison that ends in 
death. The secret of many shattered homes, the 
cause of many bitter disappointments, is that 
sacred trust has been betrayed. Perhaps the 
wife kept something back before marriage. 
Perhaps the husband did not reveal that which 
might have prevented their union. They sowed 
deception, and the harvest of distrust and sus¬ 
picion is reaped. 


42 


THE BEAL HOME 


LOVE MUST BE EXPRESSED 

“ Grandma, what makes your silver sugar 
bowl so black?” asked a child. 

“Why, it has been standing in the cupboard 
ten years,” was the answer. “I haven’t thought 
it worth while to bring it out for family use, and 
there hasn’t been a great occasion in the family 
for years.” 

Thus in some homes golden love and the silver 
of affection are hidden away for rare occasions; 
perhaps for the funeral of the loved one, whose 
stilled heart has been yearning for words and 
deeds of appreciation, and the knowledge that 
somebody cared. 

WATCH YOUR WORDS 

The habit of nagging and teasing each other 
is to be deprecated. It may be the remarks are 
trifling, that what is said is spoken in jest, but 
such thrusts lead to unkind and unloving words 
that should never be uttered. 

"It was only a thrust, unkind, unjust, 

An envious, petulant, spiteful fling, 

That went to the heart with a venomed sting; 

And like the fold of a serpent cold, 

It coiled and strangled a faithful trust, 

And robbed two lives of a friendship sweet. 

Wide, wide, as the ocean's tide, 

It stretched a gulf, and they could not meet. 

Often the tears that it caused were shed, 

But a word once spoken is never dead. 

It lay between them their whole life long, 

Till at last it grew to a mighty wrong. 

Though at first but a thrust, unkind, unjust.” 


WEDDED LIVES 


43 

If either husband or wife is so unfortunate 
as to be unkind and exasperating, let the other 
act as a “shock absorber,” to ease the jolt and 
to say something pleasant. 6 ‘ In many things we 
offend all. If any man offend not in word, the 
same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle 
the whole body. . . . But if ye have bitter envy¬ 
ing and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie 
not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth 
not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 
For where envying and strife is, there is con¬ 
fusion and every evil work. But the wisdom 
that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, 
gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy 
and good fruits, without partiality, and with¬ 
out hypocrisy.” James 2:2-17. It takes only 
a look, a tone, a word, to cloud a whole day 
and grieve a loving heart. 

The following story illustrates how many 
family quarrels are started. Happily, this case 
did not result in alienation. 

“It is a perfect day,” said Mrs. Morgan to herself one 
bright morning, “and Fm just going to enjoy every minute 
of it. I have earned a day off; the housecleaning is all done; 
there isn’t a ‘spicker and spanner’ house in town, if I do 
say it. My summer sewing is well on the way; so I am just 
going to enjoy life to-day.” And Mrs. Morgan turned to the 
breakfast table with a smile of anticipation. 

If only she had not looked so absolutely complacent and 
serene when her husband came into the room a minute or 
two later in a frame of mind as far removed from hers as 
possible! 

Everything had seemed to go wrong with him all the 
morning. This was the last straw, and proved his undoing. 


44 


THE REAL HOME 


“I do wish, Margaret/ 7 he said sharply, “that you would 
pay a little heed to my wishes, and let my papers alone. 77 

“What is the trouble, Robert V 7 asked Mrs. Morgan 
quietly, though the quick color in her face showed that she 
resented her husband’s remarks. 

“Matter enough ! 77 was the reply in an even more irri¬ 
tated tone. “I left a very important paper on my desk last 
night, and it is gone now. I have been looking all the morn¬ 
ing for it, and cannot find it. I suppose you thought it was 
rubbish and destroved it. Possibly if we are out several 
thousand dollars by the loss of it, you may be willing to 
oblige me by letting my things alone in the future. 77 

“I have not touched anything on your desk I do not 
know when, Robert. Are you sure that you left it there f 7 
asked Mrs. Morgan, still keeping her self-control. 

“Perfectly sure. I am not in the habit of making mis¬ 
takes, and I remember distinctly putting the paper there 
the first thing when I came in last night, so I would not 
forget to take it to the office this morning. It is not there 
now, and I do not see who could have taken it but you, for 
I certainly did not. I suppose you consider it a great virtue 
to be so immaculately neat and particular; but it would 
please me better if you paid more heed to my wishes. 77 

If only Mrs. Morgan had known how excruciatingly 
her husband’s head was aching, how troubled he was about 
business matters, and how very important the missing paper 
was! But alas! “Not even the tenderest heart and next 
our own knows half the reasons why we smile or sigh. 77 
And, not knowing, she was cut to the quick by her hus¬ 
band’s words. 

“I have told you that I have not set eyes on your old 
paper, much less taken it; and I am no more in the habit 
of making mistakes than you are. You will doubtless find 
the paper exactly where you put it yourself. I am very 
sorry that I have not given satisfaction as a housekeeper. 
I am going to mother’s to-day on a visit, so you can have 
things to your own liking.” 

The words were hardly out of her mouth before she was 
halfway upstairs; and it would be hard to say which was 
more surprised, she or her husband. How had they come 
to say such things to each other! 


WEDDED LIVES 


45 

“It is such a lovely morning, and I was so happy! He 
was as unjust as he could be; even if I did lose my temper, 
I will not give in first. I do like my home to look nice, and 
he would be the first to find fault if it did not; but I never 
destroyed any of his papers. He knows I never did, and 
he ought not to have spoken to me so,” sobbed Mrs. Morgan. 

“There was no call for her to fly off like that,” ejaculated 
Mr. Morgan, looking dismayed. “She ought to have known 
that I was worried to death over my business. If this paper 
does not show up before night, I shall lose five thousand 
dollars at least, and I cannot afford to lose a cent!” (It did 
not occur to him that his wife could not very well know 
these things, since he never told her anything about busi¬ 
ness matters.) 

He stood hesitating in the hall for a moment or two. 
Conscience told him he ought to follow his wife and make 
peace. “I don’t mind other people’s having to apologize, 
but I can’t abide doing it myself,” he muttered, with a shrug 
of his shoulders. “There are some letters I must get off this 
morning. I will see to those, then come home, and give one 
more search for the missing paper — and make up.” 

Mrs. Morgan heard the front door close. “If he had 
asked me, I would have helped him hunt for the paper; for 
it must be there somewhere. But he was to blame, and he 
will have to be the first to make up — so,” she said with a 
little toss of her head. “Now I am going into the city to do 
a few errands; then I will come home, pack my suit case, 
and go to mother’s this afternoon.” 

On the seat in front of her in the car were two business 
men, and without being really conscious of it at first, she 
found herself listening to their conversation. 

“Business is pretty close these days,” said one. 

“That’s a fact,” replied the other. “It is about all any 
of us can do to keep going. I fancy Morgan is having hard 
work to keep from going under. He is a fine man, and has 
worked hard. I thought yesterday he was looking dread¬ 
fully worn and anxious.” 

“O-h!” exclaimed Mrs. Morgan softly, and then bent 
down, pretending to pick up something. To think that 
Robert was troubled and anxious and she did not know 
about it! He never complained; but now she thought of 
it, he had seemed sober lately. 


46 


THE BEAL HOME 


“I ought to have been more observing and questioned 
him,” she thought accusingly. “He said that paper was 
very important, and that he should lose money if he could 
not find it, and I was cross and hateful! Poor old Robert, 
I'm just as ashamed and sorry as I can be! I’m going 
straight home to help him find it. I’d as soon put a blind 
mosquito hunting anything as Robert. lie just can’t seem 
to see a thing when he is looking for it.” 

Mrs. Morgan did an errand; then, when passing a florist, 
she stopped suddenly. “I’m going to get some roses to take 
to Robert; he is so fond of them, and they are the first 
flowers he gave me.”' 

Meanwhile, Mr. Morgan had gone down to his office, 
written his letters, and was starting for the post office, 
when he chanced to put his hand in his coat pocket. There 
was the missing paper! 

It all came to him like a flash. lie had gone to the 
library last night to leave it on his desk, and as he started 
to take it from his pocket, had caught sight of some one 
passing he wished to see. He rushed to the door, and that 
was the last he thought of the paper. 

“She said I should probably find it just where I left it; 
and I have. I was a mean old chump to speak to her as I 
did, and I expect the only thing for me to do is to tell her 
so, and the quicker the better. Oh, I'll take her some roses! 
Perhaps they will remind her of the first flowers I took her; 
bless her heart!” 

So it came to pass that as Mrs. Morgan got off the car, 
Mr. Morgan was coming up the street, and each held out a 
bunch of roses. 

“0 Robert!” cried Mrs. Morgan, “you ought not to have 
got those beautiful roses for me, when business is so bad and 
you'll lose more if we cannot find that paper.” 

“Paper be hanged!” he replied. “I was a chump, but — 
I couldn't live without you, sweetheart, I simply couldn’t.” 

“Nor I without you, Robert; so we shall just have to 
make the best of each other, won’t we?” replied Mrs. Mor¬ 
gan, with a happy little laugh.— Kate S. Gates. 

“The tongue can no man tame,” nor woman 
either. But there is One who can tame this un- 


WEDDED LIVES 


47 

ruly member, who can sweeten the temper and 
enable ns to meet the vexations and trials of 
life in a calm, self-controlled spirit. We need 
not fail; or having failed, we can obtain victory 
over the selfishness that prompts accusation and 
condemnation. Before temptation comes, we 
should commit ourselves to the keeping of that 
power which will enable us to speak and act 
considerately. 

Every pure, happy home is a fortress held 
for God in this revolted world. No wonder the 
enemy of purity and happiness is working with 
all power and strategy to bring disunion, strife, 
and hatred into it, thus breaking down the safe¬ 
guard of the individual, the family, the church, 
and the state! 

There is a court of last appeal which can 
settle every difficulty in married life. This is 
the supreme authority of the Word of God. 
Those who direct their lives by its counsel will 
never know defeat. 

The little sharp vexations, 

And the briers that catch and fret — 

Why not take all to the Helper 
Who has never failed ns yet ? 

Tell Him about the heartache, 

And tell Him the longings too; 

Tell Him the baffled purpose, 

When we scarce know what to do. 

Then leaving all our weakness 
With the One divinely strong, 

Forget that we bore the burden, 

And carry away the song. 

— Phillips Brooks. 


Chapter Four 


THE BEST MAN IN THE WORLD 

“No worse a husband than the best of men.” 

rPHE husband is the liouseband, the one who 
strongly binds all members of the family 
together. 

The first duty of the husband is to love his 
wife. How?—“Let every one . . . love his wife 
even as himself.” “So ought men to love their 
wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his 
wife loveth himself.” “Husbands, love your 
wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and 
gave Himself for it.” 

When a husband loves his wife as Christ 
loves His church, it will not be with a foolish, 
selfish, sentimental love. He will not debase or 
discourage his wife, but will uplift, encourage, 
comfort, cherish, love her, even as he loves 
himself. 

This is unselfish love. As we study the motive 
that led Christ to give Himself to us, we shall 
gain a better idea of the deep, pure love of the 
husband for his wife. Such love exalts a man 
and makes him Godlike. 

A man on the street in a severe storm, was 
passing under a tree, when a weary, frightened 
bird dropped from above, lighted on his bosom, 
and crept under his coat for shelter. So should 
every wife find in her husband’s heart the pro¬ 
tection, the comfort, the rest, she needs when 
buffeted by the storms of life. 

( 48 ) 


THE BEST MAN IN THE WORLD 


49 



Such a husband does not boast that he is the 
head of the house, and try to compel its inmates 
to bow to his will. Love does not make large 
demands for self. Instead, it seeks to give 
rather than to receive. 

The love of “the best man in the world” is 
unselfish. It leads him to provide for his wife 
according to his ability. If he can afford lux- 


© International 

The husband is the houseband, the one who strongly binds all members 

of the family together. 


4 






50 


TEE BEAL HOME 


uries for himself, lie will see that she has an 
equal amount of pleasure, or the means to obtain 
it, as she may choose. 

There is an old legend that tells of a magic 
stone that would turn anything it touched into 
gold. Many spent a lifetime looking for it, but 
it was never found. The talisman of love in 
a man’s soul will turn hard, everyday facts into 
beauty. It robs pain of its sting, and makes the 
heaviest burdens borne for loved ones at home 
a delight. 

A man who possesses this love feels that he 
has everything in the world to live for. It tills 
his heart with courage in the daily struggle for 
existence. His plain, dull wife is to him a queen 
of grace and beauty. His children are prince¬ 
lings, endowed with wonderful gifts. Johnnie’s 
playing on the piano, while torture to other ears, 
convinces him that his child is a future Pade¬ 
rewski. Little Mary’s pictures, which bring 
smiles to other lips, proclaim to his soul that 
she will one dav be a famous artist. Love 
changes a man’s outlook, therefore the greatest 
and highest qualification of a good husband is 
a loving heart. 


FOR HER 

Thou gavest me, 0 my Father, many things: 
Life and the zest of living, 

Home, friends, and faith in Thee; 

Thy Son who showed Thee as Thou art 
To us, here in a world where 
Sin and self struggle in combat, 


THE BEST MAN IN THE WORLD 


51 


With the life He lived and showed to men. 

Thou gavest these. Thou gavest also her 

In whom are gathered all 

That’s best of home, friends, faith, 

And that great love that lingers, 

That lifts the heart, the whole of life, to Thee. 

I pray for her. 

May she be kept by Thee in health 
And strength, and constantly assured 
That all is well; that Thou, the Maker, 

Guidest all aright. 

Bless her service, the things she makes, 

Her great spirit, sad within, 

But ever cheerful to the world. 

Keep her confident, courageous, 

And at the end of all the strife . . . 

Give me the right 

To be with her and care for her 

Throughout the years. 

— Ladies' Home Journal. 

APPRECIATIVE HUSBANDS 

There are loving husbands who do not reveal 
the depth of their affection in words and actions. 
They enjoy their home life, but fail to tell the 
homemaker how much they appreciate her ef¬ 
forts. The dishes prepared especially to please 
them receive no commendation. The tasks per¬ 
formed that they may not be burdened call forth 
no word of praise. 

“Did you enjoy your supper?” inquired a 
good wife of her husband, after he had eaten 
heartily of a meal upon which she had bestowed 
much thought. 

“Why, certainly,” replied the well-fed, con¬ 
tented husband. 


52 


THE BEAL HOME 


“Why not say so, then?” asked the wife, 
with a smile. 

A man and his wife were invited to visit a 
neighbor. The wife took with her a loaf of 
bread of her own baking. During the meal her 
husband turned to the hostess, with the cour¬ 
teous remark: 

“I wish to compliment you,'Mrs. Blank, on 

your delicious bread.” 

*/ 

“You flatter me,” replied the lady, “but I 
did not make this bread. Your own good wife 
deserves the praise you have given me.” 

The husband blushed, seemed embarrassed, 
but, strange to say, uttered not a word to his 
wife, who surely would have appreciated it more 
than any other. Probably he had eaten her good 
bread week after week, but had never told her 
how much he enjoyed it. 

It is not only the younger wives that notice 
the falling off of little compliments and cour¬ 
tesies that were so common in courtship days; 
but many who are middle-aged and elderly 
would find their days filled with sunshine, and 
the commonplace duties a joy, if words of ap¬ 
preciation or praise were spoken. Some wives 
never know whether their efforts to please are 
successful or not, except that they are not 
censured. 

“How does your husband like your new 
suit?” one woman questioned another. 

“Well, he hasn’t said anything against it, so 
I think it meets his approval,” was the reply. 


THE BEST MAN IN THE WOULD 53 

“If he hadn’t liked it, I should soon have heard 
of it,” was added, with some bitterness. 

It is the little courtesies, the little acts and 
words, that make or mar the joy of home. 

“A good-by kiss is a little thing, 

With your hand on the door to go; 

But it takes the venom out of the sting 
Of a thoughtless word or a cruel fling 
That you made an hour ago. 

“A kiss of greeting is sweet and fair 
After the toil of the day; 

And it smooths the furrows plowed by care, 

The lines on the forehead you once called fair, 

In the years that have flown away. 

“’Tis a little thing to say, ‘You are kind/ 

‘I love you, my dear/ each night; 

But it sends a thrill through the heart, I find — 
For love is tender, as love is blind — 

As we climb life’s rugged height. 

“We starve each other for love’s caress; 

We take, but we do not give; 

It seems so easy some soul to bless, 

But we dole love grudgingly, less and less, 

Till ’tis bitter and hard to live.” 

There is nothing on earth more beautiful than 
to see husband and wife who have journeyed 
long together, sharing joys and sorrows, still 
confidents, friends, and lovers. “Father” is lost 
unless “mother” is there; and to him what she 
does is ever the right thing to do. There are 
small attentions, little utterances of tender re¬ 
gard, for the heart clings more fondly to the 
trusted companion as the years go by. 


54 


THE BEAL HOME 


“You’re better looking than you ever were 
before, Mary,” one fond husband said. 

The wife turned to a friend, and remarked: 
4 ‘ He’s a terrible flatterer, my dear; I sometimes 
wonder when he will become sensible.” But she 
wouldn’t have had him different, and there was 
a low, sweet song in her soul as she went about 
her tasks. 

“It isn't the love that they have in their hearts 
And neglect or forget to reveal, 

That brightens the lives 
Of husbands and wives; 

It is telling the love that they feel. 

“It isn’t the music asleep in the strings 
Of the lute that entrances the ear, 

And brings to the breast 
The spirit of rest; 

It is only the music we hear. 

“It isn’t the silence of hope unexpressed; 

It's the word of good cheer that we speak 
To triumph through strife 
For the great things of life, 

That heartens and strengthens the weak.” 

Joseph H. Choate, of New York, one time our 
ambassador to England, was attending a dinner 
party given in his honor. During the meal he 
was asked who he would like to be if not him¬ 
self. He waited a moment before replying. 
Those present thought he was reviewing the 
great of earth before making his decision. Then 
his eyes rested a moment on Mrs. Choate at the 
other end of the table, and he replied: “If I 
could not be myself, I should like to be Mrs. 


THE BEST MAN IN THE WORLD 55 

Choate’s second husband.” Delicate compli¬ 
ment, was it not? How could greater apprecia¬ 
tion of a wife have been shown? All honor to 
Mr. Choate! His wife must have been proud 
indeed of such a husband. 

Solomon declares that the man who marries 
a good wife “praiseth her.” Perhaps she is 
better because of such commendation; for to the 
faithful wife no words on earth are sweeter 
than those of appreciation from her husband. 

SMILE, HUSBAND, SMILE! 

. Nothing can smile but man. Flowers, beau¬ 
tiful as thev are, cannot smile. A smile is the 
color love wears, and it accompanies cheerful¬ 
ness and joy. Laughter is like sunshine, and 
the sunshiny, cheerful husband is a joy forever. 
His presence brings light and gladness to the 
face and to the heart. He keeps his eye on the 
best things of life. He gathers its roses, lilies, 
and pinks, and brushes aside the briers and the 
thorns, that they may not wound his loved ones. 

The gloomy husband resembles a dark cloud 
that obscures the sunshine. His troubles may 
be no greater than those of other men, but he 
fails to count his blessings. He needs to prac¬ 
tice smiling before the mirror, that he may know 
how to appear before his own family. It is 
better to laugh than to grumble. 

"It was only a sunny smile, 

And little it cost in the giving; 

But it scattered the night 


56 


THE REAL HOME 


Like the morning light, 

And made the day worth living. 

Through life’s dull warp and woof it wove 
In shining colors of hope and love; 

And the angels smiled as they watched above ; 

Yet little it cost in the giving.” 

EXPANDING LOVE 

As children come to gladden the home, let the 
husband not feel that his presence is less wel¬ 
come than before. His evenings and spare time 
will be precious if they are spent with them. 
The home life is a partnership in which both 
parties are bound till death separates. 

Husband and wife are at their best together; 
that is,’ when duty does not compel them to live 
apart. If separation must come, let it be from 
necessity, but not from choice. A door of temp¬ 
tation is left wide open when they are separated. 

One of the best husbands in the world wrote 
to his wife when far away: 

“Time goes slowly these days, but it does go after all. 
Soon the day will arrive when I can leave for home. Tell 
me that will not be a good day! Ah! I am sure it will be. 
I have heard people talk and read about the music of the 
bells, but there will be more music in the old locomotive bell 
when I can go, than all the music of all the bells ever made. 
So let the days go by, and they will soon bring the time 
when I can start for the haven of rest upon the mountain 
side.” 

BEGGAR OR PARTNER, WHICH ? 

The beginning of trouble between many hus¬ 
bands and wives arises from the adjustment of 
financial relations. Time was when women were 
not wage earners as they now are; but few voca- 


THE BEST MAN IN THE WOULD 57 

tions were open to them. When married, they 
did not expecfi a share in the family income. 
The husband disbursed all funds. The wife had 
no money unless she asked for it, and this was 
sometimes an ordeal which led her to prefer 
doing without. 

But late years have brought women greater 
independence. They have become wage earners 
themselves. They have been tried and found 
capable. The right of suffrage has been granted 
them. They have taken their place at the side 
of their husbands and brothers as equals. This 
gives them a new feeling of independence, even 
though their work is in the home. Though they 
do not labor the same as their husbands, yet they 
are entitled to a share of the family earnings 
without begging for it. 

Woman has been called the “silent partner” 
in financial matters in the home, for her work 
brings no reward in dollars and cents. The hus¬ 
band earns the money and decides how it shall 
be spent. 

Perhaps the wife earned wages before mar¬ 
riage, and knows the sweetness of spending her 
own money. One woman wrote thus to a friend: 

“John is liberal in a way, but he keeps the pocketbook 
himself, buys the provisions, prefers to purchase the dry 
goods, the shoes, gloves,— everything, in fact, and does not 
see that I need any money when he gets everything I want. 
Our little daughter has more actual cash than I, for she 
doesn’t mind giving a kiss and a hug, and asking him for 
a dollar or two. He can deny her nothing. But I loathe 


58 


THE BEAL HOME 


asking him for money. I could make the same amount go 
farther than John does if I had it in my own hands. But 
how can I beg for it?” 

This is a heart-burning question. 

A woman who is fitted to be the wife of a 
man has a right to a portion of the family in¬ 
come without begging or asking for every cent 
she wishes to spend. She gives her time and 
the best of her life to the interests of the home 
in which both are partners. The wife is, or 
should be, the husband’s most cherished friend, 
without whom the world would be a wilderness, 
and she has a right to share in all the money 
that comes into the home through their united 
efforts. 

If the husband thinks that one should do all 
the spending, let him hand over the purse half 
the time to his wife and let him go to her for 
cash when he has needs to supply. 

It is the husband’s privilege to acknowledge 
the wife as his partner in business equally as 
in other relations. Their interests are one. The 
wife has no right to be extravagant, wasteful, or 
to spend money for that which is unnecessary. 
Likewise the husband should take his wife into 
fullest confidence, letting her know his plans, 
his losses, his gains. He will tell her why they 
will be unable to spend so freely as last year, 
and that they must plan not to use all their 
earnings, but to save something to meet losses, 
the expenses of illness, death, or other disasters 
which may overtake them. If mutual knowl- 


TEE BEST MAN IN TEE WORLD 59 

edge and understanding in business life exist 
between husband and wife during their wedded 
years, if the husband should die, it will not leave 
the widow a helpless, dependent woman, igno¬ 
rant of simple business. Her experience with 
him will help her to meet much more bravely 
and wisely the exigencies of the future. 

When an understanding is reached, let there 
be an agreement what share belongs to the wife 
to supply her own needs, to save on her own 
account, or to give to charitable objects. This 
plan enables her to be a partner, not a beggar. 
It will teach her how to handle money wisely, 
and there will be no mystery about the income. 
There should be no blind, prodigal spending 
which involves the head of the family in diffi¬ 
culty. Older children may be included in this 
partnership, and thus be brought into closer 
relationship with their parents and educated 
in the wise use of money. 

Many husbands think they are generous with 
their wives in business matters; and they are. 
Still, a need exists which they have not supplied. 
It is illustrated by two young people who mar¬ 
ried, went to a new country, began with a sod 
house, but year by year added to their posses¬ 
sions until, twenty years later, they moved to 
another locality, that their children might have 
better educational advantages. 

Through all their experience, this kind hus¬ 
band had said, ‘ ‘ The money is yours as much as 
it is mine,” and when the wife asked, she re- 


60 


THE REAL HOME 


ceived. Still she sometimes thought it would be 
a real pleasure to have a little all her own and 
to be able to decide whether she should spend, 
or save, or give. 

One year several dollars came into her pos¬ 
session. With the money she purchased a birth¬ 
day present for her husband. This was greatly 
appreciated; and when they were alone, he 
thanked her again. With tears, she asked, “Do 
you know this is the first birthday present I 
ever gave you?” 

“Why, what do you mean?” he replied. 
“You always give me something, though per¬ 
haps not so nice as this.” 

She exidained, “But I mean this is the first 
present I ever really gave you. Always before, 
I have gone to your purse and taken money (for 
I wanted it to be a surprise), and I always felt 
like a thief, and thought I might as well leave 
the money there and let you buy your own 
present.” 

Then the tears came to his eyes, and he ex- 

7 

claimed, “Why, mother, do you feel that way 
about it?” 

“Every woman feels the same way,” she 
quietly answered. 

Then they talked matters over. She said she 
didn’t want to be independent, would prefer to 
have the present arrangement remain; but she 
would like a small amount each month to re¬ 
gard as her very own, to spend as she pleased. 
This was agreed upon; and when the husband 


THE BEST MAN IN THE WOULD 


61 

saw how happy she was, he was sorry they 
had not talked money matters over long before. 
Let there be proper and just division of income. 

“THESE ARE CONTRARY THE ONE TO THE OTHER” 

There are good husbands whose wives are 
contrary. Their married life is not harmonious. 
There are women who do not make good wives; 
still the husband need not despair. He may 
win the battle; at least he can make the effort. 
He may find that the incompatibility is on his 
side too. The following experience, told by Burt 
B. Farnsworth, in Association Men, is worthy of 
consideration by husbands who are in difficulty: 

“ ‘My wife and I are not getting along well together and 
have not been for several years/ he said, dropping into the 
chair beside my desk. ‘Our likes and dislikes are so differ¬ 
ent. We do not seem to agree about anything. Perhaps it 
is just temperamental, but I do not see how it can be any 
other way. 

“‘Of course we have talked it over many, many times 
during the latter part of the ten years we have been mar¬ 
ried. Each time we have promised to do differently, to try 
to get along better; but the promises do not hold, and the 
plan does not work. Everything I do disturbs her, and 
everything she does nettles me/ 

“He arose, and with a quick, nervous step, paced back 
and forth the length of my room. 

“ ‘We are quarreling all the time. Both of us have come 
to feel that things ought not — must not — go on like this. 
But can they ever be any different f He dropped discon¬ 
solately into the chair again. ‘We don’t know what to do. 
Perhaps the only way to have any peace is for us to separate. 

“ ‘It was so different when we were first married/ With 
his chin resting in his hand, he studied the floor. ‘We were 
as happy as two persons could be. My income was small. 
We bought our furniture a little at a time as we had the 


62 


THE REAL HOME 


money. We looked forward every pay day to going out 
together to buy some new thing for the home — maybe a 
chair, perhaps a picture; like as not, a few dishes. Always 
we made our plans together, and we were very happy in 
carrying them out. 

“ “Gradually a change came. We began to drift apart. 
She wanted her way, and I wanted mine. We didn't plan 
together as formerly. Yet, through it all, we were very 
careful not to let any of our friends know that anything 
was wrong or different. In fact, it was a long time before 
either of us awoke to the fact that our relations were be¬ 
coming strained; but now things have gone on until we 
jangle all the time. We cannot stand it! I do not believe 
she would care much if I did not come home; and sometimes 
I feel as if I would not care much if I did not go. It seems 
to me that the only thing to do is to separate — yet I hesi¬ 
tate. My wife is a fine woman, and is not any more to blame 
than I; but it is just this “incompatibility of temperament'’ 
that makes living together almost a nightmare.’ 

“Such was the substance of his story. While he had been 
talking, I had been thinking. When he finished, I picked 
up a sheet of paper, and drawing two parallel lines on it, 
pushed it over toward him. ‘That was the way you two went 
when you were first married; and as long as you went that 
way, you were both happy, weren’t you V 

“He quickly assented. 

“I drew two diverging lines below the parallels. 

“ ‘That is the way you are going now, and you seem to 
be having anything but a happy time of it.’ 

“Then, to see if he had really thought through the situa¬ 
tion : ‘Why not separate and have it over with ? Would you 
not be happier V 

‘“That’s just the trouble. I am afraid I couldn’t do 
without her, and I cannot be happy with her!’ 

“ ‘How about her ? Perhaps she would be happier with¬ 
out you. Perhaps you ought to think of her and of her 
happiness as well as of your own; perhaps even more than 
your own. I am not sure that you have done that; but tell 
me honestly, do you want a legal separation V 

“He looked me in the eye, and with tears coursing down 
his cheeks, said, ‘No, I don’t, but I don’t know what else 


THE BEST MAN IN TILE WOULD 


63 

to clo.’ After a moment he continued, A came to see you 
hoping that you could suggest something, that we could 
find some way to straighten out our trouble.’ 

“ ‘As I understand it, then/ I said, ‘you want to make 
those diverging lines parallel. That can be done in one of 
two ways : The direction of both lines can be changed a 
little or one can be changed a good deal. Perhaps your wife 
will be willing to change her half, perhaps not. If not, you 
must change yours all the more. What you must learn first 
is not to know your wife better, but to know yourself better. 
The husband who spends his time trying to fathom his wife’s 
peculiarities without recognizing that he has some of his 
own, will seldom have a happy home.’ 

“ ‘But suppose she won’t help V he interrupted. 

“ ‘Then you must make the entire shift. Let us assume 
that your wife will not change her course. Are you willing 
to go all the way? Do not say you will meet her halfway. 
You have talked these things over many times, but made no 
headway. This time you must make your plan and carry 
it out without consulting her. You must be willing to go 
all the way. You may not need to, but you must be willing 
to do so. 

“ ‘Life is too short to scrap things through, and it is too 
long to expect always to have your own way. All successful 
business enterprises are the result of compromises, and all 
happy homes are too. Just now you must not ask your wife 
to compromise. You must do it all, for the present at least, 
until we see where we are going. In the early days of your 
married life, doubtless both of you gave in many times.’ 

‘“Yes, often,’ he answered; ‘but in recent years neither 
does so willingly.’ 

“ ‘Suppose you get into your mind the idea of a happy 
home and a kind and loving husband. Never mind the 
loving wife, just now; you are going to make your home 
happy without consulting your wife, without letting her 
know you intend to do it. You are going to do it in spite 
of your wife. In doing it, you will make a new man of 
yourself and discover a new woman in her. You are going 
to determine that no matter what your wife may say or 
do, you are not going to take offense. You are just going 
to forgive, and then forgive, and keep on forgiving, until 


THE REAL HOME 


64 

forgiving becomes an essential part of your being. You 
are going to act as if she were the dearest, kindest, most 
thoughtful wife in the world. 

“ ‘Think of the fine things you said to your wife when 
you were first married. They will stand repeating now. A 
box of chocolates will not harm the situation at any time. 
If dinner is late, don’t mention it. If it is ready on time, 
compliment your wife on her punctuality. When your plan 
begins to develop, your wife will think something has hap¬ 
pened to you — that perhaps you are sick. She may want 
to send for the doctor; maybe for the minister; but just 
keep on in your new way. It will be the greatest thing you 
have ever done if you can reestablish the old relations with 
all the joy and happiness.’ 

“And so we talked for more than an hour; and when he 
left me, I reached over and took the sheet of paper on which 
I had drawn the lines, and under the diverging ones I wrote, 
'Make these parallel! 

“Nearly two months later he came in to see me; To re¬ 
port,’ as he said. 

“He had started living up to the new idea, and while his 
wife had been rather snappy and inclined to nag him as 
formerly, lie had controlled himself, and, as he said, ‘really 
enjoyed the situation.’ Instead of retorting in kind, he took 
occasion from time to time to say pleasant things, which 
quite surprised her. So they lived for two or three weeks. 
One evening after dinner, his wife went to him, and asked, 
‘What in the world has come over you lately?’ 

“ ‘Nothing that I know of. Why V 

“ ‘Well, something has! You have not scolded or picked 
on me for over two weeks.’ 

“ ‘Oh! Is that what you mean V he replied. ‘That’s 
only a little applied psychology.’ 

“She referred to the subject a number of times in an 
inquiringyway, for the old frictions were going or gone, and 
they were both quite happy again. She wanted to know 
what caused the change, for she realized that it began in 
her husband and not in herself. 

“More than a year has passed since then. When I saw 
him recently and inquired about relations at home, he said, 


THE BEST MAN IN THE WORLD 65 

‘The last six months have been the happiest we have ever 
known/ 

“ ‘What about the “incompatibility of temperament” V 
I inquired. 

“ ‘Huh/ he grinned, There isn’t any such thing!’ ” 

TO A WIFE 

We have had our little sorrows, 

We have known our little pain; 

We have had our dark to-morrows, 

Had our sunshine after rain. 

But the worst of all our losses, 

Loyal comrade of my heart, 

We have found the little crosses 
That we tried to bear apart! 

Care we jointly bore proved blessing; 

Care each bore alone proved blight — 

Till, with humble, frank confessing, 

Each returned to each for light; 

Till we learned the law unfailing 
That controls our happiness: 

Prayers and tears are unavailing 
Prayed or shed in selfishness. 

Then, though bleak or blithe the weather, 

Be the landscape gray or green, 

Let us cling so close together, 

Not a care can creep between. 

— Strickland W. Gillilan. 

The supreme test of love is applied when love 
is wounded. To suiter and still love, is the 
greatest test of affection. It is easy, when in¬ 
jured, to fall a victim to passion and spite. It 
is Godlike to suffer in submission, to pray for 
the one who grieves us most deeply. It is the 


5 


THE REAL HOME 


66 

privilege of love at this point not to limp away 
to a dark corner in a fit of the sulks. If we love 
only those who love us, our love is worldly, and 
not the love Christ manifested. 

BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR WIFE 

This is an age of low morality. The associa¬ 
tions of men and women are marked with so 
much freedom that temptation against loyalty 
in the marriage relation lurks on every hand. 

There are women who are tempters, who 
delight in flattery, in seeking the society of men, 
and in enticing them to evil. “The lips of a 
strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her 
mouth is smoother than oil. . . . Remove thy 
way far from her, and come not nigh the door 
of her house: lest thou give thine honor unto 
others, and thy years unto the cruel: lest stran¬ 
gers he filled with thy wealth; and thy labors 
be in the house of a stranger; and thou mourn 
at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are con¬ 
sumed, and say, How have I hated instruction, 
and my heart despised reproof!” Proverbs 
5: 3, 8-12. 

Sometimes a woman goes to a man for sym¬ 
pathy. She weeps because her husband does not 
love and pity her. A true man will never try 
to supply what is lacking. Tie may recommend 
that she visit some woman and seek advice, but 
he will keep aloof from such a case and will 
never visit her unless his wife accompanies him. 
A woman who respects herself will not go to 


THE BEST MAN IN THE WORLD 


67 

men for sympathy in marital troubles, and 
every appeal of this kind awakens distrust. 

Social customs that lead to questionable fa- 
miliarity between men and women, whether 
married or unmarried, should be abandoned. 
The husband’s smiles, sociability, kind words, 
and gentlemanly conduct will be appreciated by 
his family; and when he bestows them in his 
own home, he will experience a pleasure that 
leaves no sting. 

“let me help you” 

Am invalid once said that the words she re¬ 
membered and prized most from her husband 
were his “Let me help you,” when she had a task 
beyond her strength. He was often by her side, 
ready to attempt anything that would relieve 
her. The wife needs her husband’s help in the 
training of the children as well as in other tasks. 
She needs his prayers, his sympathy, to sustain 
and encourage; without them she would fail. 

It is said that when Shakespeare made his 
will, he gave his wife “the second best.” Some 
husbands give “second best” to their wives in 
affection, attention, help, and courtesy. Why 
not give them “first best”? 

It may be that the homemaker, the closest and 
most faithful companion the Creator ever gave 
to man, will slip away some day. No husband, 
in that dark hour, will reproach himself for 
having been too kind, too helpful, or too loyal. 
He is to be pitied if he did not manifest these 


THE REAL HOME 


68 


traits, if lie was not the husband he 
have been. 


m’ 


The hands are such dear hands; 

They are so full; they turn at our demands 

So often; they reach out 

With trifles, scarcely thought about; 

So many times they do 

So many things for me, for you — 

If their fond wills mistake, 

We well may bend, not break. 

They are such fond, frail lips 
That speak to us. Pray, if love strips 
Them of discretion many times, 

Or if they speak too slow or quick, such crimes 
We may pass by; for we may see 
Days not far off when those small words may be 
Held not as slow, or quick, or out of place, but dear, 
Because the lips that spoke are no more here. 

They are such dear, familiar feet that go 
Along the path with ours,— feet fast or slow, 

And trying to keep pace,— if they mistake 
Or tread upon some flower we would take 
Upon our breast, or bruise some reed, 

Or crush poor Hope until it bleed, 

We may be mute, 

Not turning quickly to impute 
Grave faults; for they and we 
Have such a little way to go — can be 
Together such a little while along the way — 

We will be patient while we may. 

So many little faults we find, 

We see them, for not blind 

Is love. We see them; but if you and I 

Perhaps remember them some by and by, 

They will not be faults then — grave faults — to you 
and me, 

But just odd ways,— mistakes, or even less,— 
Remembrances to bless. 


— Frances E. Willard. 


Chapter Five 


THE BEST WOMAN ON EARTH 

r T y HE best woman in the world is well described 
by a wise poet, preacher, philosopher, and 
king; in fact, he was the wisest man who ever 
lived. But for all that, he showed a lack of 
good sense by marrying seven hundred wives. 
No wonder this king exclaimed, “ Behold, all is 
vanity and vexation of spirit”! 

Yet this preacher declared, “Two are better 
than one; because they have a good reward for 
their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift 
up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone 
when he falleth; for he hath not another to 
help him up.” 

It was God Himself who said, “It is not good * 
that the man should be alone; I will make him 
a help meet for him, ’ ’ one fitted to stand by him 
as his companion and helper. Not many helpers, 
but one. The two were to keep close together 
instead of living apart. “In both the Old and 
the New Testament, the marriage relation is em¬ 
ployed to represent the tender and sacred union 
that exists between Christ and His people.” 

Solomon describes this best and most charm¬ 
ing woman in the last chapter of Proverbs. He 
does not encourage us to believe there are many 
such; he intimates that she is rarely found. 
But the man who finds her secures a prize more 
precious than rubies. “The heart of her hus- 

( 69 ) 


THE HEAL HOME 


70 

band doth safelv trust in her, so that he shall 

«/ ' 

have no need of spoil.’’ 

This worthy woman described by Solomon is 
married. Not all of the most charming women 
have husbands. It may be there are not enough 
good men to claim them. Sacrifice for others 
causes some to remain single; or a quiet grave 
may hide the love that never came to fruition. 
Billy Sunday is credited with saying that there 
are no “old maids” any more; they are “ladies 
in waiting.” Such ladies deserve all the re¬ 
spect and pleasure a more enlightened age has 
for them. 

THE CLINGING VINE 

The wife is sometimes compared to a clinging 
vine and the husband to the towering oak. But 
there is a difference in vines. Some make the 
tree to which they cling beautiful, and crown it 
with glory, while others sap its vitality and 
cling until death leaves only a lifeless trunk, 
which soon decavs. 

t/ 

But while the gracious wife may cling, she 
does something else. She “worketh willingly 
with her hands;” she does not think them too 
fine for household tasks. She is willing to do 
more than “boss the job.” She herself works. 
She is not lazy. She did not marry to get some¬ 
body to support her. If material is not at hand, 

she seeks for it. Her home hums with activitv 

%/ 

from morning till night. 

When a young man faces a girl’s father and 
asks for his daughter, one of the questions is 


THE BEST WOMAN ON EARTH 71 

likely to be, “Can you provide a comfortable 
support for my daughter ?” Why would it not 
be as appropriate for the mother of the young 
man to visit the young woman’s mother and 
inquire, “Has your daughter been taught to 
cook and to do housework? Can she make a 
pleasant home for my son?” 

One of the governors of Kansas told his 
daughter that when she could make a loaf of 
bread as good as her grandmother provided, he 
would give her a check for one hundred dollars. 
Lenore soon found it very necessary to visit 
grandmother. What occurred during her stay, 
we are not told; but in a few weeks she pre¬ 
sented her admiring father with a choice loaf 
of her own baking, and demanded her check. 

WHY HE MARRIED HER 

Mr. Armour of Chicago married a woman 
who was an excellent housekeeper; and when 
questioned as to his reason for selecting her, 
while others more wealthy than she would have 
been proud to bear his name, he replied: 

“I did not feel especially interested in this young lady, 
though we were good friends, till one evening her father 
gave a dinner to a lot of men. I was invited, and learned 
that the cook had left unexpectedly, and that the delicious 
dinner was prepared and served under the supervision of 
his daughter. I found my way to the kitchen after a while, 
and I don’t think she ever looked prettier than she did in 
a big gingham apron, her cheeks pink with excitement, a 
dab of flour on her nose; and she was making dishes step 
about as if by magic. That settled it for me. I decided 
that what I needed was somebody who took an-interest in 
her home instead of being a mere butterfly.” 


72 


THE BEAL HOME 


There is real pleasure in doing housework 
and in doing it well. It is not drudgery. Home¬ 
making in all its details is fascinating. It calls 
for intelligence and culture. Ruskin says: 

“You must be either housewife or housemoth. Remem¬ 
ber that in the deep sense you must weave men’s fortunes 
and embroider them, or feed upon them and bring them 
to decay. 

“Wherever a true wife comes, home is around her. The 
stars may be the canopy over her head, the glowworm in 
the night-cold grass be the fire at her feet; but home is where 
she is, and for a noble woman, stretches far around her, 
better than houses ceiled with cedar or painted with ver¬ 
milion, shedding its quiet light for those who else were 
homeless.” 

Labor is ennobling. To do the common things 
of life “as unto the Lord,” glorifies them and 
lifts the thoughts to a higher plane. 

“Come out and see the sunset,” my husband said to me; 

“It is so beautiful to-night, I want that you should see.” 

I felt almost impatient, and I did not want to go, 

For — there were things upon the stove that needed watch¬ 
ing so! 

The chili sauce was cooking, and the jelly would not “jell,” 
And the kitchen was a melting pot of heat and steam and 
smell; 

But I tinkered with the damper, and I laid my apron by, 
And I went out with my husband to the flaming autumn sky. 

And there above the mountains was the glory of the Lord, 
In fiery, burnished chariot, in mighty, flaming sword; 

In strength and power and majesty, His glory shone around, 
And reached down to envelop His children on the ground. 
It drew us close together, and each grasped the other’s hand 
In a quickened understanding, in a comprehension grand, 
As we listened in the silence to the symphony divine 
That found a fervent echo in my husband’s heart and mine. 


THE BEST WOMAN ON EARTH 73 

The colors gently faded, and the quiet evening came; 

I went back to my kitchen, but nothing was the same. 

A song had entered in my heart, a peace lay in the air, 

And a wondrous benediction seemed to follow everywhere. 
So I thanked my God for husband and for all His beauties 
sent, 

To rest His weary children and to whisper His content. 

— Helen M. Doyle. 

“Not to be ministered unto, but to minister,’’ 
is the ideal wife’s motto. Names are not lacking 
among the most cultured women who found 
their pleasure in household tasks. Queen Vic¬ 
toria was an excellent housekeeper. Queen 
Wilhelmina of Holland took charge of her 
mother’s household when she was sixteen. Mrs. 
Boosevelt and Mrs. Taft were famous cooks. 
Mrs. Cleveland-Preston, when mistress of the 
White House, often took her guests to the 
kitchen. Mrs. Bryan was busy on a back porch 
making blackberry jam instead of entertaining 
visiting delegates when returns were expected 
at a time Mr. Bryan was candidate for Presi¬ 
dent. When questioned as to why she was so 
occupied, she replied, “Whichever way the 
election goes, Mr. Bryan will enjoy jam on his 
biscuits.” Disappointment would be less poign¬ 
ant with good jam than without. 

There will be trying days for the queen of the 
household, when the bread burns, a finger is cut, 
unexpected visitors must be entertained, the 
children fret, and the homekeeper is hurried, 
worried, and weary. The charming woman will 
see in these circumstances new opportunities for 


74 THE BEAL HOME 

self-control. She will not let frazzled nerves 
get the upper hand. 

At evening the weary wife will greet her hus¬ 
band with a smile. She may mention some of 
the things that have troubled her, but will add, 
“I’m so glad I have our home and you. Some 
way my burdens are all gone now that you are 
here.” The true husband will give his whole 
heart’s affection to a wife like that. 

EXTREMES IN NEATNESS AND ORDER 

Some wives may forget the statement in the 
Sermon on the Mount that the life is more than 
meat, and the body than raiment. In other 
words, not only physical life is more precious 
than food, but the inner, spiritual life must have 
nourishment. While the body must be clothed 
and the house kept in order, yet the robe of 
character developed in the home should receive 
first attention. 

Some housewives are so extremely orderly 
that husband and children are constantly under 
restraint. A picture comes to mind of a farmer 
husband who was also a scholar and a teacher. 
He was in every way mentally superior to his 
wife, but he ever refrained from exposing her 
ignorance, and never revealed his longing for 
real companionship. 

The wife was extremely orderly. Her own 
mother could not live with her; for, as she said, 
she could “not exist where some one continually 
followed her with a mop.” The husband was 


THE BEST WOMAN ON EARTH 75 

very helpful. When he brought vegetables from 
the garden, he would wash and prepare them 
outside the house, then remove his shoes before 
entering, lest a particle of dust should be 
brought inside. But his soul was starved. The 
perfect order troubled him. The lesson is that 
while homes should be neat and tidy, still there 
may be such extreme stiffness and precision that 
the home spirit is destroyed. 

THE HIGHER FRIENDSHIP 

The first dutv of the wife is to love her hus- 

%j 

band, to give him a place held by no other in 
her affections. He is her counselor, her lover, 
her best and truest earthly friend, and she will 
not betray Iris trust. His faults are hidden deep 
in her own heart. Though they may give her 
pain, she will not speak of them to others. She 
shields him from censure whenever possible. 
Between her husband and herself she allows no 
confessor or confidant. She will choose his so¬ 
ciety in preference to that of any other man. 
She will not seek or relish flattery from others, 
nor will she give them her confidence concerning 
family matters. She will not be a party in any 
scheme which she must hide from her husband. 

the “tie vote” 

Wives are ready to believe the Bible when it 
commands the husband to love his wife; but 
they are not so ready to receive its plain state¬ 
ments that the wife should reverence her hus¬ 
band and submit her will to his. 


76 


THE REAL HOME 


The submission commanded is the submission 
of love. Husband and wife should be one, but 
this ideal condition does not always exist. On 
some points they can and will differ, and no 
harm result; on others, when a decision is to be 
reached, there must be harmony. In legislative 
bodies, when the house is divided, the speaker 
may cast his vote and decide the question. On 
account of the position God has given the hus¬ 
band in the family, his is the privilege of the 
“tie vote,” and the wife suffers no dishonor 
when she yields her opinion to his. When to 
obey the husband does not conflict with obedi¬ 
ence to the command of God, she will do well 

not to determine to have her own way. 

• * 

TRUE COMPANIONSHIP 

The wife may think she loves her husband 
when she marries him, and she probably does; 
but love should grow stronger with the years. 
There is sometimes danger, as children come to 
the home, that these take the larger share of her 
love and interest. An Englishwoman says: 

“Don’t nauseate your husband by talking baby all the 
time. As baby’s father, he will stand a good deal of this, 
but remember there are other interests in the world. Don’t 
let your husband become merely your children’s father after 
the arrival of the first baby. You can give him an extra 
share of love in that capacity, but he will choose to be none 
the less your husband and chum. The greatest of all 
mothers is she who manages her responsibilities so that the 
duty of being a wife is not sacrificed to that of the mother.” 

The science of conjugality is most important 
of all. The wife who chooses “the good part” 


THE BEST WOMAN ON EARTH 


77 

of her husband, tries to please him; she so iden¬ 
tifies her soul with all that is noble and aspiring 
in him, that he realizes that there is but one in 
all the world who really understands him. Hus¬ 
band-keeping is a finer art than housekeeping. 
Some wives are only housekeepers. They are 
not suns in the domestic solar system. Their 
husbands become “wandering stars” because 
they have no orbit in which to move; they rotate 
at too great a distance; perhaps they fly off at 
a tangent, and are lost in “the blackness of 
darkness forever.” 

Wives may receive the kindly attentions of 
their husbands in such an indifferent manner 
that it kills the desire to be kind. If gratitude 
is not felt and expressed, the loverlike attitude 
of the husband is chilled and frozen. He may 
say nothing,— probably does not,— but the 
wound is deep and very difficult to heal. 

Here is an illustration: 

“The other night on the street car I overheard a conver¬ 
sation between two men. ‘Looks like you’d been to the 
florist/ said the older. 

“‘Yes, I’m taking a bunch of roses to my lady/ proudly 
returned the other. 

“‘Hm-m! Reminds me of old times. Well, enjoy it 
while you can, old chap. After you’re married, you won’t 
do that any more.’ 

“‘Won’t do it any more! Well, I guess I willV hotly 
answered the youth. ‘Don’t you think that our getting 
married is going to keep me from showing little attentions 
to my wife!’ 

“‘But she won’t let you do it, man/ said the other. 



78 


THE REAL HOME 


‘“Won’t let me do it! Well, you don't know her. I 
should say she will. Nothing she likes better. What are 
you driving at anyway?’ 

“His friend smiled. ‘You may not believe it, but I had 
just as good intentions as you have before we were married, 
and tried to carry them out. A short time after we were 
settled in our cozy little home, I passed a florist’s on my 
way from work one night, and decided to take my wife a 
bunch of flowers. 

“ ‘I got the prettiest they had, and paid a corresponding 
price, too. But, of course, I did not suppose she would ask 
what they cost; she never did before. Well, I was all excited 
by the time I reached home, thinking how pleased she would 
be. She met me at the door, and as I handed her the flowers, 
what do you suppose she said? “You dear boy to remember 
me”? — Not much! That’s what she used to say, of course. 
What she did say was, “How much did they cost ?” And I, 
like an idiot, blurted out, “Two dollars.” 

“‘“Two dollars!” ejaculated my horrified little wife. 
“Oh, my dear! Don’t you realize that we can’t afford such 
luxuries as that now, with your meager salary ?” And there 
I was getting bigger wages and living more economically 
than before we were married. I tell you it almost made me 
angry. But I recovered, and tried again a few weeks later. 
That time I thought I’d avoid a luxury and get her some¬ 
thing strictly useful. I became possessed of a bright idea: 
a silk waist — that was just the thing! I remembered a 
blue waist she once had that I always liked, so I bought one 
like it. And this is the reception it got — that practical, 
well-intended silk offering: “Oh, my! Isn’t that just like 
a man ? What in the world made you get blue ? Don’t you 
know I can’t wear blue? If you had only given me the 
money and let me select it myself!” 

“‘That settled me, friend. I didn’t try again. But 
would you believe it, several weeks later I found her crying 
as if her heart would break; and what about, do you sup¬ 
pose ? “I don’t believe you love me any more,” she wailed. 
“You never bring me home any presents as you used to.” 

“ ‘I give it up ! Women are certainly curious creatures, 
and I confess I don’t understand them. But I didn’t mean 
to discourage you, friend. Go ahead, and don’t think I am 


THE BEST WOMAN ON EARTH 79 

feeling sorry for myself, either. I'm happy enough, and 
think the world of my wife. But there’s no denying it, 
they’re different after they're married; that’s all! Here’s 
my street. Good-night.’ ” 

If wives will use and study tlie methods which 
were effectual in winning the good man they call 
husband, there will be fewer disappointed hus¬ 
bands and unhappy wives. 

N 

THE NAGGING, FUSSY WOMAN 

Some husbands possess the patience of Job or 
they could not endure the eternal nagging and 
fussing they have at home. In public and in 
private their faults are discussed and the wife 
assumes the air of one who must train her hus¬ 
band and make him presentable in society. She 
may be his inferior from every point of view. 
But he must pay her special attention, must • 
order his conduct according to her rules. 

A cheerful, genial man, one of education and 
broad culture, who was the life of every circle 
he entered, was seen to be quiet, self-absorbed, 
unsocial, whenever accompanied by his wife. 
Frequently she would say, “Benton, don’t do 
that,” or “Please, Benton, do this for me,” or 
she would relate to the company some incident 
in which Benton’s conduct was the subject of 
criticism. Could she have known the feelings of 
indignation in the hearts of her auditors while 
she monopolized the conversation and almost 
constantly dwelt on some shortcoming of her 
husband, she would have been amazed. 


80 


THE BEAL HOME 


“PUSHING ON THE lines” 

Other women who are not critical or fault¬ 
finding, seem to carry the weight of the universe 
on their frail shoulders. They are all fire, nerve, 
and energy. A story is told of how such a 
woman became a more sensible wife: 

Just a year ago it was that I saw her last, until yester¬ 
day; a little, thin, nervous, worried-looking woman, with 
eyes too bright, mouth too set, firm little hands too tightly 
clasped, going uphill in an old-fashioned wagon, pushing 
on the lines. 

There was a good driver in the front seat, a good steady 
horse in the shafts, a good smooth road under the wheels, a 
fine green landscape all around to see; but my friend didn’t 
see it. She was too busy pushing on the lines. 

Up, up, up the long hill climbed the straining wheels. 
“Gid-dap,” said the driver as he spit contentedly into the 
splendid gulf of green below the bluff, “Gid-dap.” And the 
patient, steady old horse “gid-dapped” quietly, calmly, 
steadily, to the top of the long hill. 

At the top my friend leaned back on the cushions. 
“There!” she said, and sighed in great relief. The driver 
turned in his seat, and spoke with all the freedom of the 
Western spirit. 

“Tired, ain't you?” he said. 

“Tired?” echoed my friend. “Why, yes, I guess I am.” 

“Well, now,” said the driver, soothingly, “you hadn't 
ought to be. The old horse, he did all the pulling. I 
wouldn't push so hard on the lines when we come to the 
next hill.” 

The woman’s face relaxed, her bright eyes softened a 
little. “That’s so,” she said, “I believe that’s good advice”; 
and she waved us a good-humored good-by as she and the 
driver and the old-fashioned mountain wagon started down 
the hill. 

Yesterday I met my friend for the first time since then. 
Her back was toward me, and I didn’t know her till she 
turned. 


THE BEST WOMAN ON EARTH 


81 

“What in the world has happened to you V 9 1 said. “You 
look like a girl again.” 

My friend smiled. “I am,” she said, “and yet it is all 
so simple. I learned it from the driver on the mountain 
road. Fve stopped pushing on the lines, that's all; and you 
can’t think how much easier the road is to climb.” 

Stopped pushing on the lines; that was it. 

My friend has a good husband — kind, devoted, success¬ 
ful in a quiet sort of way; not so clever as my friend, not 
so ambitious, not so full of energy, but the man of the 
family without a doubt. I have often wondered if her 
constant pushing and prodding and reminding and spurring 
didn't get on his nerves. My friend told me about it. 

“You know Joe as well as I do,” she said. “Poor fellow, 
he's had a time of it with me. I was always ‘pushing on the 
lines,' and thought I was helping; and all the time, it 
didn’t do a thing but make me tired before we got to the 
top of the hill. 

“Joe never hurries; he never goes into things with his 
heart and soul; he does the best he can, and lets it go at that. 

“It used fairly to kill me to get him off to the office. I 
wanted him to hurry. I wanted him to get to work. I 
wanted him to do things, and hustle. And he never would; 
he couldn't. He had just so much strength, just so much 
energy, and just such a hill to climb, and all the pushing I 
did didn't make a particle of difference to him or to me or 
to the load. 

“I worried, and fretted, and nagged, and was irritated, 
‘pushing on the lines’ all the way, and we didn’t get to the 
top a bit quicker for all my pushing. 

“Suddenly last year, when the driver told me that about 
the lines, it all was clear to me, and I’ve never done it since 
— not once. 

“When I feel like hurrying Joe, when I wish he’d do 
something quicker than he does, or put more life into the 
doing of it, I just lean back, and untie my face, and say to 
myself, ‘Don't push on the lines,' and it's all right. 

“I’m ten years younger, and so is Joe. I take time to 
enjoy things. I don’t worry over what I can't help; and in 
the long run, I guess we get over the road about as well as 
we did before, if not a good deal better.” 


6 


82 


THE REAL HOME 


Don’t push on the lines. I wish every woman who nags 
would learn that lesson. She needs it, and so does her hus¬ 
band.— Annie Laurie. 

IMPATIENCE AND ANGER 

If the husband, in a thoughtless moment, has 
hurt his wife’s sensitive feelings, the longer she 
thinks about it, the more it will hurt and smart. 
If she rests on one of the precious promises 
spoken for time of perplexity and distress, if 
she goes out in the fresh air a little while, thinks 
persistently of something pleasant, her troubles 
will not be half so hard to bear. 

The wife who would retain her husband’s 
affection will guard her “moods and tenses.” 
Some wives are naturally sunny and cheerful. 
They see the bright instead of the dark side. 
Those with such a disposition are greatly 
favored. 

Others see the sadness, the dark clouds; 
nothing is just right. And so they chafe and 
complain, scold and find fault, until, in despera¬ 
tion, the husband betakes himself to the street — 
anywhere — to escape the poisonous atmosphere 
of his own home. 

Unkindness, complaining, and anger cause 
good angels to depart. No one can afford to let 
a hasty temper, a sullen mood, and tense feelings 
ruin the life. The woman who is thus afflicted 
should not become a wife until she has become 
master of her disposition, and can speak and act 
calmly under annoying circumstances. 


THE BEST WOMAN ON EAKTII 


83 


If I had known in the morning 
How wearily all the day 

The words unkind would trouble my mind 
That I said when you went away, 

I had been more careful, darling, 

Nor given you needless pain; 

But we vex our own with look and tone 
We may never take back again. 

For though in the quiet evening 
You may give me the kiss of peace, 

Yet it well might be that never for me 
The pain of my heart should cease! 

How many go forth at morning 
Who never come home at night! 

And hearts have broken for harsh words spoken, 
That sorrow can ne’er set right. 

We have careful thought for the stranger, 

And smiles for the sometime guest; 

But oft for our own the bitter tone, 

Though we love our own the best. 

Ah, lips with the curve impatient! 

Ah, brow with the shade of scorn! 

’Twere a cruel fate, were the night too late 
To undo the work of the morn. 

— Margaret E. Sangster. 

Nothing else adds to the joy of home as does 
a sunny temper, a heart at peace though all is 
disturbing without. Nothing else clouds the 
atmosphere like a gloomy, faultfinding, teasing 
disposition. A wife who is severe, complaining, 
and hard to please will spoil any home. 

She says she is “nervous.” Some people 
think she is cross. Words of complaint, fault¬ 
finding, and censure make the husband desper¬ 
ate, the children hard and rebellious. Thunder 
storms clear the atmosphere out of doors, but 


THE REAL HOME 


84 . 

they have an opposite effect in the home. Jesus 
expelled demons, even the 44 dumb spirit,” from 
those afflicted. He is needed now to cast devils 
from those possessed, and to bring peace where 
before were unrest and wrangling. 

Another demon, worse than that of the thun¬ 
der-storm variety, is one found in the person 
who pouts, sulks, and poses as the afflicted one, 
wrapped in a mantle of gloom. This spirit is 
present when some word causing offense is 
spoken, or when something is done that dis¬ 
pleases. Probably those who manifest this 
disposition were coaxed and petted when chil¬ 
dren; mistaken friends tried to persuade them 
that no offense was meant, and after a time they 
were pacified. This demon can be overcome only 
through the grace of Christ. 

A wife or mother who goes about with an 
injured air, answers all questions with 44 Yes” 
or 44 Ho,” says it is no matter what becomes of 
her, that nobody loves her, depresses the whole 
household. Such a person is indeed possessed 
by an evil spirit. A woman of weak character 
sometimes poses as a martyr when she cannot 
do as she pleases. Such women act like spoiled 
children. They drag down their husbands; they 
are unfit to be mothers. 

A few moments apart with the Saviour will 
often restore the needed poise; but if one seems 
to be sinking under the pressure of care, weari¬ 
ness, worry, or irritability, let her send the 
hurry call, 44 Lord, save me.” For the sake of 


THE BEST WOMAN ON EARTH 


85 


husband and children, for the sake of her own 
soul, she should never give up until this evil 
disposition is conquered. 

If with pleasure you are viewing any work a man is doing, 
If you like him or you love him, tell him now. 

Don't withhold your approbation till the parson makes 
oration, 

And he lies with snowy lilies o’er his brow; 

For, no matter how you shout it, he won’t really care 
about it; 

He won’t know how many teardrops you have shed; 

If you think some praise is due him, now’s the time to slip 
it to him, 

For he cannot read his tombstone when lie’s dead. 

More than fame and more than money is the comment kind 
and sunny 

And the hearty, warm approval of a friend; 

For it gives to live a savor, and it makes you stronger, 
braver, 

And it gives you heart and spirit to the end. 

If he earns your praise, bestow it; if you like him, let him 
know it ; 

Let the words of true encouragement be said ; 

Do not wait till life is over, and he’s underneath the clover, 
For he cannot read his tombstone when he’s dead. 

—“Christian Endeavor World.” 

After an explosion in a coal mine, in which 
many were killed, a young wife was seen sitting 
by her husband’s dead body. She looked at him, 
but shed no tears. She rocked to and fro, her 
face white with anguish. 

“Oh that I had spoke fair to him at the end!” 
she moaned. “Oh that he would come to life 
one minute, that I could say, 'Jimmie, forgive 
me’! Nothing can help me now! I could bear 
it if I’d spoke fair to him at the end!” 


86 


THE TEAL HOME 


At last the story came out. They had been 
married a year, she and Jim, and both had 
tempers; but Jim was always first to make up. 
And this very morning they had had trouble. It 
began because breakfast was not ready and the 
fire wouldn’t burn. Both had said hard words. 
But at the very last, though the breakfast had 
not been fit to eat, Jim had turned at the door, 
and said: “Give me a kiss, lass. You know you 
love me, and we won’t part in ill blood.” 

4 ‘No, Jimmie, I don’t love you!” she said 
petulantly. 

“Give me one kiss, lass,” pleaded Jimmie. 

“No, not one!” 

“And now—” Then the tears rushed to her 
eyes. With awful sobs, she flung her arms 
around the corpse. 

“Dear Jimmie, speak to me now!” she 
moaned. “Say you forgive me.” 

“Do not grieve so hopelessly,” some one said, 
trying to comfort her. But the mourner’s ears 
were deaf to all comfort, and the wailing cry 
came again and again: “Oh, if I had only spoke 
fair to him at the end!” 


KEEP SWEET 

The wife who has a cheerful, sunny heart is 
a treasure. She is charming at home or wher¬ 
ever she may go. She looks good and is good. 

The happy woman is not envious. She holds 
no grudge against any one. Life is too short, 
she thinks, to waste in thinking, speaking, or 
acting unkindly. So she smiles a welcome to 


THE BEST WOMAN OX EARTH 


87 


the one who shares her seat in the pew or on 
the street car. She holds the door open for the 
one following her. Her thoughts are for others, 
not for self. It is selfishness that gives rise to 
grouches and brings unhappiness; it is selfish¬ 
ness that squeezes all the joy out of life. 

The one who keeps sweet, cares more for 
others than for self. Every one is in the world 
to befriend his fellows, to give courage, strength, 
and glimpses of the life beyond to those who 
grow weak and weary in the battle. 

It is said of a woman who had experienced 
great sorrow, that she decided she would not let 
it depress and discourage her. She resolved to 
smile, and several times a day she would laugh 
heartily whether she felt like it or not. She 
overcame her gloom and sadness, and became a 
blessing to those about her. 

“A laugh is just like music, 

It lingers in the heart; 

And where its melody is heard, 

The ills of life depart, 

And happy thoughts come crowding in 
Its joyful notes to greet; 

A laugh is just like music 
For making living sweet.” 

PRAYING FOR HER HUSBAND 

One of the greatest privileges of the faithful 
wife is to pray for her husband. Many men 
have been saved because their wives have prayed 
until their prayers were answered. 

Men have great temptations to meet in the 
world. It holds a man steady to know that at 


88 


THE BEAL HOME 


home a wife who lives her religion is pleading 
for God’s blessing upon him while he is absent, 
lie may not speak his appreciation or give token 
of a change of heart; but notwithstanding his 
seeming indifference, he is glad he has a true 
friend who prays. 

Life is too short for a wife to be anything but 
the best companion possible to her husband. 
The day of separation comes all too soon. 
Happy will she be if she has been true to her 
trust. Beside an open grave she will never 
grieve that she lias been loving and forgiving. 

“One of us, dear — 

But one — 

Will sit by the bed with nameless fear, 

And clasp the hand 

Growing cold as it feels for the spirit land. 

„ Darling, which one? 

“One of us, dear — 

But one — 

Will stand by the other’s coffin bier, 

And look and weep, 

While those marble lips strange silence keep. 
Darling, which one? 

“One of us, dear — 

But one — 

By an open grave will drop a tear, 

And homeward go, 

The anguish of an unshared grief to know. 
Darling, which one? 

“One of us, darling, it must be. 

It may be you will slip from me; 

Or perhaps my life may first be done: 

I’m glad we do not know 
Which one.” 


Chapter Six 


BLASTING THE FOUNDATION 

T HE column in the daily newspaper announc¬ 
ing births, marriages, and deaths is familiar, 
but not until more recently has it been thought 
best to chronicle another phase of family life, 
and announce to the public the names of those 
who have been divorced. 

We live in an age when there is a craze on 
the subject of marriage. It is equaled only by 
the mania to be released from the marriage obli¬ 
gations after the vows have been spoken. 

New York City in 1919 had an increase of 
nearly fifty per cent in the number divorced, 
there being thirteen hundred thirty-five couples 
separated. Divorce increased in California 
from 1,813 in 1906 to 5,573 in 1916; in Nevada, 
from 119 to 648; in Ohio, from 4,781 to 7,607. 

In the Knoxville Journal and Tribune for 
June 3, 1919, a news item was given from Nash¬ 
ville, Tennessee, in which this startling announce¬ 
ment was made: “Figures in the county for 
May show two hundred thirty marriage licenses 
issued, and two hundred forty divorces granted, 
by the three circuit courts/’ 

In a speech before the United States Senate, 
reported in the Washington Times, Joseph 
Kansdell, of Louisiana, gave these striking 
statistics: 

( 89 ) 


90 


THE REAL HOME 


“Practically every one who has given the subject the 
slightest study, admits that divorce is one of the most seri¬ 
ous problems confronting our republic. 

“In the United States, divorce is spreading with alarm¬ 
ing rapidity. It has permeated every walk of life, and is 
prevalent among every class of people. The total number of 
divorces granted in 1867 was nine thousand nine hundred 
thirty-seven, or twenty-seven per one hundred thousand 
population. Forty years later, in 1906, there were seventy- 
two thousand six hundred and sixty-two divorces, or eightv- 
six per one hundred thousand; thus in actual numbers there 
were more than seven times as many divorces granted in 
1906 as in 1867, or, allowing for the increased population, 
divorce had increased three hundred and nineteen per cent. 
To put it in another way: In 1867 there was one divorce 
for every three thousand six hundred and sixty-six persons, 
while in 1906 there was one for every one thousand one 
hundred and sixty-two.” 

In 1916, in the United States, there were re¬ 
ported 112,036. The comparison becomes worse 
when we are told that the total number of di¬ 
vorces granted in the United States is more 
than twice as great as in the rest of Christendom 
combined. 


“America's darkest cloud” 

The divorce problem is called “America’s 
darkest cloud,” bv William Hall Moreland, 
Episcopal bishop of the Diocese of Sacramento, 
California. From an article which appeared 
in the San Francisco Examiner of April 10, 
1921, these paragraphs are taken: 

“Mining kings, oil millionaires, and war profiteers, grown 
suddenly rich, have put away the faithful partners of the 
days of poverty and struggle, and lavished their new-made 
wealth upon actresses. Selfish women, sacrificing men to 


BLASTING THE FOUNDATION 


91 


their passion for jewels, clothes, and luxury, are encouraged 
under our laws to sell their bodies to the highest bidder, yet 
continue to move in decent society as respectable women. 

“This is no fancy picture. It describes what is going on 
to-day all over the United States. Conditions are growing 
worse. . . . 

“If easy divorce continues at the present rate in this 
country, the ideal of true marriage, as the union of one man 
and one woman until death shall part, will gradually fade 
from the consciousness of the American people and be re¬ 
placed by a kind of barnyard morality. . . . 

“In the past twenty years 1,883,000 homes have been 
wrecked by divorce in the United States. Since there are 
two people to each divorce, this means that 3,766,000 were 
separated by divorce in the first twenty years of this 
century. 

“The number of children named in divorce decrees for 
the past twenty years is 1,138,000. This is to say, a vast 
army of innocent children were deprived of the loving over¬ 
sight of one parent or another, being made orphans or half 
orphans, not by the hand of Providence, but by the selfish¬ 
ness of their parents.” 

This concise statement of present conditions 
is quoted from Collier's magazine: 

“MATRIMONY: Ceremony, parsimony, acrimony, testi¬ 
mony, alimony.” 

. March 16, 1923, Bishop William T. Manning, 
of New York City, gave a Lenten address on 
4 ‘The Peril of Evil Divorce to Our Life as a 
Nation.” Among other striking things, he said: 

“It is a simple fact that as a nation we are rapidly aban¬ 
doning the principle of monogamic marriage. The propor¬ 
tion of divorce to marriages in our country has reached 
figures that are appalling. 

“In our country as a whole there is now one divorce for 
every eight marriages, and in some of the states there is one 
divorce for every two or three marriages. 


92 


THE REAL HOME 


“In 1916, the last year for which official figures are 
available, there were 224,007 persons divorced in the United 
States; and during the same year in Canada, only 114 per¬ 
sons. It has been shown recently that in 1920 some 133,000 
families in our country were broken up by divorce, and that 
a divorce is granted in our courts every four minutes. 

FACILITIES ABROAD 

“The ease with which divorce is secured by the rich is 
increased by the facilities now offered in Paris, and in other 
places; and no matter how scandalous the circumstances 
of the divorce, some minister of religion, it seems, can be 
found who is willing to perform the ceremony of remarriage. 

“The teaching that marriage should last only while love 
lasts means in reality that marriage should not exist at all. 
It means, in plain words, the abolition of marriage and the 
substitution of the system of free love.” 

Says the well-known Judge Ben B. Lindsey, 
of Denver: 

“In the year ending December 15, there were 3,000 mar¬ 
riage licenses issued in Denver, and 1,500 divorce suits filed. 
How many separations are never filed ? I’d say as many as 
divorces. 

“In fact, from my investigations I learn that nonsupport 
cases add another thousand to the record. You can see that 
means one separation for every marriage. Actually, there 
were fifty more divorces applied for in 1922 than in 1921, 
and 600 fewer marriages solemnized. 

“In Chicago last year, as reports show me, there were 
39,000 marriage licenses granted, mostly to young people, 
and 13,000 divorce decrees were signed. These signed de¬ 
crees do not represent all that were applied for. . . . 

“We’ve got to recognize the fact that we are face to face 
with one of the greatest social problems in modern times 
in this statistically proved failure of marriage.”— Oakland, 
California, “Tribune January 3, 1923. 

And this voice is from Los Angeles, from the 
Daily Times of January 29, 1923: 


BLASTING THE FOUNDATION 93 

“There were nearly as many divorces as marriages in 
Los Angeles County in 1922. . . . 

“Young people enter into a life contract with less care 
than they would exercise in choosing a partner to run a 
peanut stand. 

“Sex passion, common to all animals, takes the place of 
love and esteem. Hence, so many divorces/’ 

“Divorce is increasing in the United States three times 
as fast as population. At the present rate it will not be long 
before three fourths of American marriages will end in the 
divorce court. . . . 

“Disregard for the sanctity of marriage, overemphasis 
of sex, underemphasis of domestic responsibility, lack of 
uniformity in the law, were among the chief contributing 
causes that led to the downfall of Rome, of Greece, of 
Babylon/’ 

To-day both men and women are “playing 
fast and loose ” with the matrimonial bond. The 
home totters on its blasted foundations, society 
is breaking up, and our national existence is 
in danger. 

The home is the source of social, religious, 
and national life. Time was when no nation 
more jealously guarded its homes than our own. 
It is a legacy bequeathed us by our Pilgrim an¬ 
cestors. Some deride the narrowness and strict¬ 
ness of past years; but they should wait before 
criticizing too severely, until later and looser 
ideas produce the homes of worth and people as 
sturdy and virtuous as did they. 

EDUCATED IN DIVORCE 

In some of our higher colleges and universi¬ 
ties the idea is taught that marriage has no 
sacredness,—that it is contrary to the higher 



THE BEAL HOME 


94 

laws of the spirit to set up a legal relationship 
as superior to the spontaneous preference of 
men and women who find in their love a se¬ 
curity more sacred than anything the church 
can create. Here is the proof: 

In the Cosmopolitan magazine for May, 1909, 
an article entitled “ Blasting at the Rock of 
Ages/’ written by Harold Bolce, who spent 
more than two years studying the scope of col¬ 
lege teaching, states the situation clearly. He 
entered classrooms from Cambridge to Cali¬ 
fornia in the universities of the country. His 

«/ 

information was obtained first-hand. 

The editor summarizes Mr. Bolce’s findings 
with a note from which these statements are 
gathered: 

“What Mr. Bolce sets down here is of the most astound¬ 
ing character. Out of the curricula of American colleges, a 
dynamic movement is upheaving ancient foundations and 
promising a way for revolutionary thought and life. Those 
who are not in close touch with the great colleges of the 
country will be astonished to learn the creeds being fostered 
by the faculties of our great universities. In hundreds of 
classrooms it is being taught daily that the Decalogue is no 
more sacred than a syllabus; that the home as an institution 
is doomed; . . . that there can be and are holier alliances 
without the marriage bond than within it. ... It is time 
that the public realize what is being taught to the youth of 
this country. ‘The social question of to-day,’ said Disraeli, 
‘is only a zephyr which rustles the leaves, but will soon be¬ 
come a hurricane.’ It is a dull ear that cannot hear the 
mutterings of the coming storm.” 

“It is taught by many college sociologists,” 
says Mr. Bolce, “that marriage, under conceiv- 


BLASTING THE FOUNDATION 95 

able conditions, will pass away, like medieval 
institutions.” 

Mr. Stanley E. Bowdle, a prominent member 
of the Cincinnati bar, raises an earnest warning 
against the great flood of immorality seen par¬ 
ticularly in the family relationship. He says: 

“Many men talk of approaching crises. The great crisis 
is here. It registers itself in the decay of family life, in the 
widespread doctrines of substantial free love, trial mar¬ 
riages, et cetera. The day is dominated by menacing egoism 

in matters of love.Does a man tire of his wife ? The 

law instantly affords relief. Has a wife discovered an 
affinity? The law eases her embarrassment. Are there 
children ? Have they no rights ? — No, the law suffers noth¬ 
ing to interfere with the ‘happiness’ of these individuals. 
It facilitates their utter separation and divorce. 

“But one further step remains in our national marital 
degradation. It is the allowance of divorce by mutual, pri¬ 
vate agreement, which agreement, for the purpose of settling 
mutual, private rights, shall be recorded. This would ac¬ 
complish two things; first, it would allow instant divorce 
and thus facilitate that ‘happiness’ which Americans pursue 
and never overtake; and, second, such divorce by agreement 
would save the public from the scandalous details of marital 
disagreements, and the parties from much perjury. Surely, 
this utilitarian age will soon see the wisdom of this sug¬ 
gestion. 

“Will the law in America ever descend to this? Why 
not ? It panders now to the passions of men. To men weak 
in will, to men carried away by temporary desire or whim, 
it affords cheap and immediate relief. It cares nothing for 
the altar oath. ‘Till death (or divorce) do us part,’ is the 
real oath taken. And this divorce situation has resulted in 
a grave misuse of our courts. Thousands have received their 
first lessons in perjury in divorce courts. No, the peril is 
not approaching; it is here. The national will is weakened, 
its convictions are badly broken down. And this disease is 
locatable around the nation’s heart — its love, its domes¬ 
tic life.” 


96 


THE REAL HOME 


Morris Hillquit, in his debate with Father 
Evan, said: 

“Most socialists, therefore, favor dissolubility of the 
marriage ties at the pleasure of the contracting parties/’— 
“ Socialism: Promise or Menace t” page 163. 

WHY THE INCREASE OF DIVORCE ? 

Where does the divorce cancer have its root ? 
The answer is, In selfishness. Men and women 
are “lovers of their own selves.” 

A man marries because the personality of a 
woman pleases him. 

He may marry to get wealth. 

His wife’s position may give him standing 
in society. 

He may have other reasons, but all are likely 
to be selfish. It is not true, unselfish love that 
leads him to marry. 

The woman marries a man with money, if 
possible, one who will indulge her desire for 
costly and beautiful dress. She wants a hus¬ 
band who will be attentive to her wants, one 
who will pet and praise her, one who has 
worldly position. Such objects, too, are purely 
selfish. 

Old-fashioned ideas of home life are no 
longer popular. To stay at home and care for 
husband and family is, unhappily, not the ambi¬ 
tion of many a modern wife. She must be en¬ 
tertained, must dress and dance, attend places 
of amusement, and so an apartment is engaged, 
and the whole scheme of home life is lacking. 


BLASTING THE FOUNDATION 97 

First among the causes of divorce are the 
hasty marriages contracted. A boy and a 
• girl, or a man and a woman, meet, are intro¬ 
duced; they laugh and joke, perhaps go to an 
entertainment or some resort; he proposes 
marriage, she accepts; and in this whirlwind 
fashion, without acquaintance or real love, they 
marry in a few hours, days, or weeks. It does 
not take long to overcome their infatuation; 
and in shorter time than it took to become 
married, they are anxious for separation, if a 
darker tragedy does not occur. 

When a young woman decides between two 
suitors by tossing up a penny, and in less than 
a year appears in court with a baby in her arms, 
asking for divorce on account of nonsupport, 
what can a judge do but grant it? Probably 
it is the only thing to be done under the circum¬ 
stances. But is it not a pity that such an ex¬ 
perience would probably not put any sense into 
a woman’s head, nor would her experience keep 
thousands of others from thoughtless marriages 
followed by blighted lives? 

So rapidly has the number of divorce cases 
increased that in some cities a “ Court of Do¬ 
mestic Relations” has been formed, and in one 
of these a certain judge is known as “The Great 
Reconciler.” 

Nearly two thirds of the complaints brought 
to court are caused by husbands deserting their 
wives, and investigation reveals that the wives 


7 


98 


THE REAL HOME 


were so incompetent in tlieir home duties that 
the husbands felt compelled to leave them. 

Both men and women are to be blamed, and 
rarely is the fault found in only one of the 
parties concerned. But the home life is so 
largely molded and managed by the wife that 
she should do all in her power to bring peace 
instead of alienation. Every divorce is a 
tragedy. 

God made no provision at first for separa¬ 
tion. Because of sin, conditions changed. The 
divorce law given through Moses was not nulli¬ 
fied by Christ; He recognized but one cause 
sufficient for divorce. Even this was not God’s 
ideal. 


“The Pharisees also came unto Him [Jesus], tempting 
Him, and saying unto Him, Is it lawful for a man to put 
away his wife for every cause Matthew 19 : 3. 


And many to-day would answer Yes to such 
«/ •/ 

a question. But a loving God does not sanction 
divorce. “The Lord hath been witness between 
thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom 
thou hast dealt treacherously: vet is she thy 
companion, and the wife of thy covenant.” 
“For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that He 
hateth putting away.” It is only because of the 
hardness of men’s hearts that bills of divorce¬ 
ment were ever given. “From the beginning it 
was not so.” 

Paul said, “Let not the wife depart from 
her husband: but and if she depart, let her re- 


BLASTING THE FOUNDATION 


99 


main unmarried, or be reconciled to her bus- 
band.” This provision was made so that a 
woman might live apart from her husband 
where conditions are unbearable or dangerous 
to life. The choice is given her of remaining 
“unmarried,” or of being “reconciled.” To 
“depart” because one is weary of the other and 
would contract another matrimonial alliance, is 
neither sensible nor Scriptural. If a man is so 
brutal as to endanger the life of wife or chil¬ 
dren, she has permission to depart from him 
and remain unmarried; the same is true of the 
husband. But the Christian husband or wife 
will endure great wrongs before taking such a 
desperate step. 

The Independent makes this true statement : 

“In the first place, the divorce evil is not the divorce. 
Neither is the divorce the remedy for the divorce evil. The 
divorce evil is the evil, whatever it may be, which leads to 
divorce. Consequently the divorce never removes the evil. 
It only alleviates — or aggravates — the unfortunate situa¬ 
tion arising in some particular form from a previously ex¬ 
isting evil.” 

Divorce is a symptom, a consequence, not a 
disease, that afflicts our homes. Divorce is 
death, a result which follows a diseased con¬ 
dition. 

We have seen trees die in summer time. But 
the tree with its whispering leaves and swinging 
boughs, its greenness where the shadows lie 
hidden all day, does not die all at once. First 
a dimness creeps over its brightness; a leaf 


c 



100 THE heal home 

sickens here and there and grows pale; then 
the whole branch feels the approach of death. 
At last the signs of weakening life all disap¬ 
pear, and the dead tree stands holding out its 
stripped, stark limbs,— a tree still, but in ruins. 

Wedded love dies like that. The life, so 
joyous at first, does not perish all at once. First 
a hasty word shadows it; a sharp answer deep¬ 
ens the shadow. One or the other is thoughtless, 
and this is misconstrued. An unintentional 
neglect is magnified and made real. A remark 
is misinterpreted. Through such avenues the 
devil brings in discord and makes room for all 
his infernal brood. 

Soon love becomes reticent, confidence is 
broken. Noiselessly but surely the work of 
death goes on until nothing is left of the once 
happy union. The tree is dead which once 
tossed its green branches in the sunlight, and 
whose leaves trembled in the breeze. 

A clergyman tells this story, illustrating how 
distrust and alienation may end: 

“One day a pretty girl broke impetuously into my study, 
crying. She held out a twenty-dollar gold piece to me, and 
sobbed: ‘I’m going home to mother! Pete and I have 
quarreled! He said that I might go home and stay if I was 
going to keep on being such a baby, and he gave me this 
gold piece to pay my fare!’ 

“Then she threw her pretty self into a big leather chair 
and began to sob. I knew I should have to wait for the 
story until she was quiet. And as I realized that she her¬ 
self would soon be a mother, my heart wept for her. What¬ 
ever the trouble was, to her it was tragic. The gold piece 






BLASTING THE FOUNDATION 101 

lay on the floor where she had dropped it, and neither of 
ns had picked it up. 

“It seemed that Pete, as we called him,— for I had mar¬ 
ried them and to me they seemed almost like my own 
children,— had stayed out until after midnight the night 
before; which was a very unusual procedure for staid, do¬ 
mestic Pete, whatever he might have done before he was 
married. 

“A quarrel had followed his arrival home — much to his 
surprise. An explanation was demanded. Pete, being an 
independent American, whose record had never before been 
questioned, could not quite stand this. If he had stayed out 
all night, he would never have thought of a human being’s 
questioning him. She should have trusted him. 

“‘You are nothing but a couple of foolish children!’ I 
said, when I got them both together, after telephoning to 
find Pete. ‘And you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.’ 

“I addressed myself to Pete: ‘Pete, you especially ought 
to be ashamed to worry Betty now!’ 

“Then I turned to poor, dejected, tear-wet, but lovable 
Betty, and said, ‘Betty, you ought to be ashamed not to trust 
Pete, no matter where he went—’ 

“ ‘That’s what I told —’ broke in Peter. 

“‘You keep still, Pete!’ I said to him, and he left his 
sentence incomplete. 

“‘If he loved me—’ began Betty, in her turn. 

“‘And you keep still, too, Betty!’ I added. 

“Then I asked Betty to go out of the room. I wanted 
to talk with that rascal of a Peter. 

“He looked down at the gold piece on the floor, and 
blushed. 

“ ‘You ought to blush over that twenty-dollar gold piece!’ 

I said. 

“ ‘I thought she was just bluffing about going home and 
that I’d try a little bluff myself,’ he confessed. 

“‘And she was just game enough to take you up and 
call your bluff V I said. 

“ ‘She was! I might have known she would.’ 

“ ‘What would you have done if she had gone V I asked. 

“‘I should have been the most miserable man in the 
world, and the most stubborn for about a day—’ 


102 


THE REAL HOME 


“‘And thenf I asked. 

‘“And then I would have crawled to the ends of the 
earth and back for her V he said, banging his fist on my desk. 

“ ‘Where were you, Pete, last night V 

‘“Why, I was at the Y. M. C. A., arranging with the 
fellows for an indoor meet/ 

“ ‘Then why didn't you tell her 

“‘She had no business questioning me. She ought to 
trust me/ 

“Then I called Betty back into the room and told her 
where Pete had been. She was ashamed, and would have 
apologized, but started to cry and laugh instead; and then, 
before she could apologize, Pete was beginning to apologize, 
and then something happened that even this frank narrative 
must leave for the imagination. I myself looked out of the 
window at a rosebush. 

“When I turned around, it was to nay : ‘You are nothing 
but a pair of foolish youngsters, anyhow. Now go home 
and be happy!’ 

“As they were walking out, I called their attention to 
the twenty-dollar gold piece lying on the floor. 

“‘Put it in the missionary collection; I don’t want it 
any more/ declared Peter. ‘It might have carried Betty 
away from me V 

“We all three laughed; and they left the gold piece there 
for me to use/’ 

But not all quarrels of married life end so 
happily. Tattlers and busybodies do their part 
in the work of alienation; there is no friend to 
help bring about a reconciliation; and too often 
final separation results. 

The kindest and the happiest pair 
Will find occasion to forbear; 

And something, every day they live, 

To pity, and perhaps forgive. 

— Cowper. 

Here is another story that may help those 
whose lives have grown uncongenial; it is told 


BLASTING THE FOUNDATION 


103 


by Clinton Dangerfield in the Woman’s Home 
Companion for June, 1917: 

“‘You had no right to say what you did!’ she cried, 
stormily. It might have been their sixteenth or their six¬ 
tieth quarrel; he had long ago lost count. But as it reached 
its unendurable climax, he rose from the daintily set break¬ 
fast table, his food scarcely touched. Eleanor rose as soon 
as he had done so, saying bitterly, ‘I suppose you're going 
off without your breakfast just to exasperate me !’ 

“He flung back some violent answer, much like hundreds 
of others he had made before in those frequently recurrent 
disturbances which well-bred people so scrupulously reserve 
for their nearest and dearest. Then he stalked from the 
room, and went away to his office. But the day was a 
miserable one. Anger is a fiercely reactionary form of 
indulgence. 

“Being a lawyer, he forced himself into his usual kindly 
professional air, and into an apparently personal interest 
in the woes of his clients. 

“In this way the morning passed; then came a tasteless 
luncheon, and the afternoon opened with more clients — to 
the same assumed interest. When he found himself facing 
the last one of the day, it was with a feeling half of relief 
that the work for the day was over, half of wretched distaste 
that he must go home and finish out the quarrel he had left. 
He knew perfectly well it would come up again in some way 
that very night. 

“This sort of thing had been going on now for three 
years; they had been married five. Applied maxims as to 
the folly of getting angry with a woman, with any one in¬ 
deed, had all failed him. He became conscious that he was 
thinking too much of his own affairs, that he was staring 
too absently at his last client. The latter, his law matters 
satisfactorily adjusted, was indulging in some personal 
reminiscences induced by Ashfield’s kindly manner. 

‘“It’s for her sake I'm afther beiiT so glad I won, 7 the 
old man was saying, happily. ‘Thirty years of good toimes 
we’ve had togither, Rosy an 7 me. She’s made this world so 
plisant to me that I’m afther fearin’ I'll niver want to lave 
ut, barrin’ she shud go first.' 


104 


TEE REAL HOME 


“The lawyer was conscious of a sudden, genuine interest. 
‘You are talking of your wife?’ 

“‘Of who ilse cud I be talkin ’V 

“ ‘You say you’ve had thirty years of happiness with 
her? I suppose she’s one of these yellow-haired saints.’ 

“ ‘No, sor. Rosy an’ her folks have all been red-headed, 
an’ by the same token, had the highest of timpers.’ 

“ ‘And you have been happy with her ?’ asked the lawyer, 
skeptically. 

“The old man answered, frankly, ‘Nather of us was 
happy the first five years. Sure, throuble began almost in 
our honeymoon. It was just six months afther we married 
that Rosy flung a fry in’ pan at me. It was just siven months 
afther marriage that I bate her. Sure we scandalized the 
neighbors!’ 

“ ‘What changed it ?’ the lawyer asked, more skeptically 
still. ‘Did you get afraid of each other ?’ 

“ ‘There’s no scrap of ’fraid in ayther of us, sor. An’ 
things was goin’ from bad to worse, an’ me gittin’ so I 
couldn’t do me ditchin’ dacent, becase of thinkin’ over me 
quarrels, nor take anny peace goin’ home, whin it come to 
me I might take counsel of Johnny Milligan, the very ould 
wise man that lived beyant us on the hill. 

‘““’Tis said the woman shud be the peacemaker,” I 
growled to Johnny whin I finished me tale to him. 

“ ‘ “ ’Tis said wrong,” says Johnny, says he. “ ’Tis the 
man shud handle all sitterwations. There’s four magic 
words,” says he, “which control an’ subdue women,” says 
he, “no matter what timper they are in; same as certain 
magic sounds will quiet a frantic horse. These four words, 
they niver fail; but they are hard to pronounce whin a row 
is on,” says lie, “onless the man raymimbers how he is the 
shooperior, an’ ’tis his own fault if he doesn’t say thim.” 

““‘Give me the words,” says I. 

“ ‘ “Use thim when ye're angriest,” says Johnny; “use 
thim whin they strangle ye. Cough ’em out! Choke ’em 
out! — But out they must come!” 

“‘So ould Johnny got up, and he writ thim four words 
on a piece of paper for me; by the same token, his fist was 
so crabbed I near never read thim. An’ when I’d puzzled 
thim out, me jaw dropped, an’ I’d no faith at all, raymim- 


BLASTING TEE FOUNDATION 105 

berin' the fryin’ pan an’ what Rosy was whin she fell into 
a rage. 

“ ‘Fer an exciption, we had no quarrel that night, an’ 
toime mornin’ come, I was more doubtful than ivver of 
Johnny’s prayscription. But that next avenin’ whin I come 
home, we both flew into a rage over how much buttermilk 
the pig ought to have — yez wouldn’t belave, a gintleman 
loike yez, what schmal things Rosy an’ me wud quarrel 
over. But into a rage we flew; an’ I wuz about to say the 
worst things I cud — whin I raymimbered ould Johnny and 
what he’d wrote for me, an’ how he said they’d be hard to 
say in a quarrel — an’ they wuz hard! I thought I shud 
choke on them; but I looked Rosy full in the eye, an’ I said 
thim — out loud an’ distinct. 

“‘She had just flung an outrageous remark at me, and 
wuz about to fling another, whin she heerd the words. Her 
lips parted; but nothin’ disagrayable come out. She stared 
at me; she flushed; she hesitated. I seen me advantage; me 
good angel prodded me. I said thim agin. She tucked her 
head down an’ sidled away from the pigpen tords me. “Oh, 
Tim,” says she, “I didn’t mane to be nasty!” says she. 
“Feed the pig as much buttermilk as ye loike.” But I must 
be goin’, sor.’ 

“ ‘No hurry, Ryan. Did they always work — the words V 

“ ‘Always, sor! An’ I’ve been no mizer with the pray¬ 
scription ; I give it to more than one felly in difficulties with 
his wife.’ They both rose. The lawyer blushed, but he said 
with a dry little smile, ‘Give me the words.’ 

“ ‘Wid a thousand blissin’s, sor! But they must be writ. 
Passed by w T ord o’ mouth the charm is lost.’ He added with 
Irish tact, ‘I see yez want thim for one of yer frinds.’ 

“That night Ashfield was called by telegram to a place 
five hundred miles away. He returned a week later, with 
the story of old Johnny only a hazy remembrance. 

“Eleanor’s nerves and temper, the smoother for his 
week’s absence, kept sweet the day of his return — until that 
night, when a difference of opinion concerning a rug she 
had purchased (of a color he especially disliked) brought 
on a storm that was the fiercest of their whole married life. 

“They stood in their attractively furnished library, their 
feet on the offending rug, their tall, distinguished figures 


THE BEAL HOME 


106 

drawn up to full height, the woman passionately resentful, 
the man white with anger. 

“Suddenly, born apparently out of nowhere, a few sen¬ 
tences flashed vividly before him: 

“‘These four words — they are hard to 'pronounce whin 
a row is on, hut they niver fail. Tis the man’s own fault 
if he doesn’t he afther usin’ thim’ 

“Ashfield shook himself; his hands clenched. He made 
a wild effort, but his lips were soundless. Those bitter 
powers inside were murdering the magic four. Then sud¬ 
denly, impetuously, looking the angry woman before him 
straight in the eyes, he flung out desperately the sentence 
thev made. 

“They sounded grotesquely out of place to him in the 
midst of this wild quarrel; but he heard himself saying them 
clearly and distinctly, his eyes on hers: 

“ 'Dear, I love you P 

“As the unexpected sentence fell on her ears, she stared; 
then she flushed. It sounded strangely sweet to her, strangely 
powerful, that sentence, flashing out in sheer gold from the 
base metal of their quarrel. A throb of remorse brought 
tears into her eyes. She had just wounded him all she could 
over a foolish thing like a rug! And yet, even in the midst 
of their mutual anger, he could, out of his greater man’s 
strength, his greater generosity, his greater kindliness, say 
the sentence most beloved of all sentences by every woman! 

“Like calming music, the words sang in her soul; her 

anger receded before them — then died utterly. How big 

he was! How good that he was of finer clay than she! She 

bowed her head; tears came into her eyes. She faltered 

slowly: 

«/ 

“ 'Oh, Robert! After all, why should I fuss about the 
hateful old rug? Let’s send it back, and exchange it for 
some color we both like.’ 

“He held out his arms mutely, then smiled down on the 
tear-wet face she lifted, and bent to kiss it.” 

There’s a lesson in the story. There are thou¬ 
sands of breaking hearts in the world, hearts 
starving for kindness and love. Misunderstand- 


BLASTING THE FOUNDATION 


107 


ings and differences have separated husbands 
and wives, and instead of joy and the peace 
they anticipated in married life, they drink the 
bitter cup of' disappointment. Distrust and 
hatred take the place of confidence and affec¬ 
tion. It is a sight to make angels weep. There 
are homes drenched with tears, eves that stare 
into the blackness before them, seeing no ray of 
light, hearts that refuse to be comforted, chil¬ 
dren who look on in wonder, while homes are 
wrecked and ruined. 


Whoso shall receive 
such little child in 
name receiveth M 



( 108 ) 











Chapter Seven 

PARENTS AND CHILDREN 

A HOME without children is like a garden 
without flowers, a brook with no gurgling, 
gushing, purling water in its channel. Imagine 
our world with no children! Can one think of 
a more dreary place to live? 

A dying father called for his son. As he 
came to his bedside, the man placed his feeble 
hand upon the head of the child and said, “ Al¬ 
ways remember, my son, that you were kissed, 
and blessed, and given to God.” 

This is the rightful heritage of all children. 
They have an inalienable right to the kiss of 
welcome. They have a right to a father’s bless¬ 
ing. They have the unquestionable right to be 
given back to the God who created them, and 
who says to every parent, “Take this child and 
train him for Me.” 

The father and mother who fulfill their sa¬ 
cred trust will carefully prepare for the coming 
of the little one who will be their fondest joy 
or their unspeakable sorrow. The ever-present 
question will be, “How shall we order the child, 
and how shall we do unto him?” Judges 13:12. 
The marginal reading is: “What shall he do? 
What shall be his work?” 

There is a richer, deeper Christian experi¬ 
ence for parents who come close to our Father 

( 109 ) 


110 


THE BEAL HOME 


by seeking His counsel concerning the treasure 
committed to their keeping. 

Of Enoch, who walked with God on earth as 
a husband and father, this testimony is borne: 

After the birth of his first son, Enoch reached a higher 
experience; he was drawn into a closer relationship with 
God. He realized more fully his own obligations and re¬ 
sponsibility as a son of God. And as he saw the child’s 
love for its father, its simple trust in his protection; as he 
felt the deep, yearning tenderness of his own heart for that 
first-born son, he learned a precious lesson of the wonderful 
love of God to men in the gift of His Son, and the confidence 
which the children of God may repose in their heavenly 
Father .—Patriarchs and Prophets ” page 84. 

Children were designed to be a blessing. Not 
only do the parents teach the child, but the child 
teaches the parents. While they study him, he 
studies them. Parents learn lessons of trust, of 
faith, of unselfish love, of self-control, which 
they can be taught in no other way. They are 
schooled in patience, and the child becomes the 
teacher. While they discipline their children, 
they must first be disciplined. 

All may enter this higher training school. If 
unblessed with children of their own, there are 
many little ones in the world who need father¬ 
ing and mothering and whose presence in the 
home would be a blessing. There is no excuse 
for the rearing of pet cats and poodles, mon¬ 
keys and birds, in the })lace of children. 

But, it is urged, children are a constant care. 
They bring anxiety and disappointment, and 
seem to give back small return for what is in- 


PARENTS AND CHILDREN HI 

vested in them. True; but the benefits received 
far exceed the outlay. The Master, who loved 
children, declared: ‘ 4 Whoso shall receive one 
such little child in My name receiveth Me.” 

A child is not intended to be a plaything. To 
every father, mother, and guardian of children, 
the command is given to train not only for time, 
but for eternity. To form a character is like 
chiseling in the rock that which can never be 
effaced. 

WHEN TRAINING SHOULD BEGIN 

First, the parents should be trained. To be¬ 
come one with God in creating a human being 
is a great privilege. Reverently, patiently 
should preparation be made. The study of the 
laws of heredity will be useful. Not selfish 
enjoyment, but to make the world better, to 
add subjects for the kingdom of heaven, is 
the object of parenthood. Fathers and mothers 
should strive to be physically, mentally, and 
morally fit to be parents. 

The training of the child begins as soon as it 
is born — yes, before. Parents are inclined to 
say: “What a responsibility it will lie when the 
time comes to train and educate this little dar¬ 
ling ! ’ ’ 

But when the baby is a month old, the par¬ 
ents are a month late if they have not already 
begun right methods of education. It is even 
now being trained in right or wrong habits. 

But what should a babe be taught ? 



112 THE REAL HOME 

* 

Its first lesson may be patience in waiting 
for its wants to be supplied. An experienced 
mother says: 

“Don’t give the child what it is crying for, 
while it cries. As it grows older, it will associ¬ 
ate receiving with quiet and pleasant asking. 
The child may be taught to cry softly, not in 
anger demanding what it wants and disturbing 
the home with shrieks. A young child may be 
calmed and soothed so it will cry softly and not 
form the habit of roaring and bellowing.” 

Very young children manifest temper. They 
straighten themselves, and their cry is one of 
rage instead of entreaty. But if its demands are 
not met while it is in this mood, a valuable lesson 
in self-control for both parent and child will be 
taught. The time to check wrong habits is at 
their beginning. 

One mother, when her children came crying 
loudly for sympathy, would say: “Softly, softly, 
and then I shall feel so sorry for you.” Little 
folks, like older ones, love to be pitied and 
petted; and if they find the price of sympathy 
is to shriek like a Comanche, the shrieks will 
come. 

In their unbounded love and admiration, par¬ 
ents often teach selfishness instead of overcoming 
it. The child must early learn that others have 
rights to be respected, that it must give pleasure 
as well as receive it. The foundation of a self¬ 
caring disposition, a determination to have one’s 


PARENTS AND CHILDREN H3 

own wishes gratified at any cost to others, is 
laid in babyhood. 

The training of children requires the best 
brain power of the world. Many wonderful dis¬ 
coveries in art and science have made our age 
the most remarkable in history; but while men 
have mastered the secrets of earth, air, and sky, 
they have not made great progress in child 
training, as the finished product testifies. 

Intense love is not enough. Children are 
loved to-day, but fathers and mothers are too 
busy to study and train them. They must con¬ 
quer the earth, must grapple with great ques¬ 
tions, and meanwhile Herbert and Charlie, Alice 
and Pauline are unstudied problems. There 
would be fewer human wrecks if there were 
more faithful parents. 

But while children are a perplexing problem 
to the parents, the parents are a problem to the 
children. Misunderstanding results from their 
relations to one another. If parents would rea¬ 
son from the child’s understanding of every 
question as well as from their own, and exercise 
reasonable authority, the relationship would be 
far more satisfactory to all. 

UNITY BETWEEN FATHER AND MOTHER 

Parents will be united in their methods of 
child training if it is successful. If they cannot 
agree, they will do well never to discuss their 
differences before the children . No truer senti¬ 
ment was ever uttered than, “If a house be 
divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” 


8 


114 


THE REAL HOME 


If father speaks angrily to mother, Henry rea¬ 
sons why may not he do the same? If mother 
is cross to father and treats him with disrespect, 
Alice will soon speak to him the same way. 
Children readily absorb the atmosphere of the 
home. They are keen detectors of spirit and 
motives. For this reason, if for no other, par¬ 
ents must be examples to their children in kind¬ 
ness and courtesy. If they disagree before the 
child as to what may or may not be done, they 
place themselves at a disadvantage, and soon the 
child is beyond control. 

One railway system takes as its motto, 
“Safety first.” The guiding rule for parents 
may well be, “Self-control first.” Having mas¬ 
tered their own willfulness, impatience, and 
temper, they can then control their children, lead 
them to self-mastery, and guide them in the 
formation of correct habits. 

“let its live with oitr children” 

It is not that children do not possess the best 
that monev can buy. They have comfortable 
homes, plenty of food and clothing, schools and 
churches; but the greatest need of childhood is 
fathers and mothers who give themselves to their 
sons and daughters. Some parents are hardly 
acquainted with their own children; they know 
little of their associates, their temptations, and 
their conflicts. To give companionship and lov¬ 
ing interest in their studies, sports, and occupa-* 
tions, to be one with their children in their trials 


PARENTS AND CHILDREN H5 

and temptations, leading, helping, teaching, is 
to bestow the richest endowment possible. 

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS 

There are three cardinal virtues to be taught 
from babyhood. These are obedience, truthful¬ 
ness, and unselfishness. They lay the founda¬ 
tion for a good and useful character. 

The animals require obedience of their young. 
Notice how kittens remain in perfect silence 
when their mother is absent, and the same is 
true of other animals. The mother knows their 
safety depends upon strict obedience. Human 
mothers may well wish they knew the secret as 
to how this lesson is taught. A hen utters a 
peculiar cry when she sees danger. One call is 
sufficient. Instantly every chick stands as if 
petrified till another tone tells that the danger 
is past. With some animals, if their young are 
disobedient, corporal punishment follows. 

But not so with children. If a command is 
given, it usually must be repeated. If their 
wishes are not granted, crying, sulking, and 
often disobedience follow. 

And the command is still in force: ‘ ‘ Children, 
obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” 
If they are taught from babyhood to obey father 
and mother, obedience will not be so difficult as 
the boy or girl reaches the perils of adolescence. 
Like other good habits, obedience is more easily 
formed in childhood than in youth or manhood. 

The child who is obedient to his parents does 
not find it difficult to obey God. He will obey 


116 


THE REAL HOME 


the righteous laws of his country. He will not 
he the leader in school strikes, but will be obedi¬ 
ent as a pupil. Thus it is seen that obedience to 
parents will lead to obedience as a citizen and 
as a Christian. 

Obedience of the right kind is prompt and 
cheerful. If a child whines and questions, com¬ 
plains and hesitates, he has not learned to be 
obedient in spirit. He must obey when parents 
are absent, when they do not know whether they 
are obeyed or not. 

A man asked a boy to go to a circus. “No, 
sir,” said the boy, “father doesn’t like ’em.” 

“I’ll give you the money to go, and your fa¬ 
ther need not know it,” said the man. 

“I cannot do it,” said the boy. 

“Why not?” asked the man. 

“Because,” said the boy, “after I had been, 
I couldn’t look my father right in the eye; 
and I can now.” 

That boy had the spirit of true obedience. 

ANSWERING QUESTIONS 

The child is an interrogation point with a 
voice. He wants to know the why of what he 
sees, hears, and handles; and he has a right to 
be heard and answered. His questions are not 
to be ignored. He may ask such questions as 
these: Could the cows walk on their heels? 
Where do the rabbits sleep? Where do the 
frogs go when the ponds dry up ? Can the baby 
frogs sing? Can the grasshoppers shut their 


PARENTS AND CHILDREN 117 

eyes 0 ? Why does the moon grow large and 
small? What are the stars made of? 

There can be no monotony in the home with 
a growing child. If one question is answered 
indefinitely, twenty more follow asking enlight¬ 
enment. If mothers will throw away their 
novels and story magazines, and study insects, 
birds, and animals, they will be wiser and be¬ 
come a fountain of wisdom and entertainment 
to their children. To illustrate: 

Little Fred ran to his mother one day. In 
his hand was a silky ball. 

“Look, mamma! What is this?’’ 

“Fred, just look at your feet! They are 
covered with dust. No, don’t touch my work, 
your hands are so dirty. Throw the sticky thing 
away. ’ ’ 

“But what is it, mamma?” 

“I don’t know, son. Perhaps it’s a bit of 
cotton.” 

Fred seemed disappointed. The mother 
turned to a woman who was visiting her, and 
said, “Such a child to ask questions!” 

The visitor was wiser. Taking Fred’s little 
hand, she helped herself to a tumbler and a sau¬ 
cer, then went to the veranda. She captured a big 
spider, and placed it under the glass. The boy 
screamed, but she only said, ‘ ‘ There’s nothing to 
be afraid of. This is Mrs. Spider. She has 
a hundred babies, instead of three, like your 
mamma. She wanted them to have a nice nest 
where they would keep warm and dry, so she 


THE HEAL HOME 


118 

worked hard and spun this fuzzy ball which you 
brought to the house. It is the family cradle 
for baby spiders. See what soft, yellow, silken 
blankets cover them. Peep in now while I hold 
them to one side so you can see. Watch the baby 
spiders kick because their blankets are off. 
Those shiny balls are more babies. They are not 
big enough to kick.” 

“Oh, how little they are!” exclaimed the boy. 
“Will they grow big?” 

“Yes, just as big as their mamma by and by.” 

“But when there are so many, they’ll run all 

7 «/ 

over the house.” 

“No, Fred; as they grow older, some will die, 
the birds will eat some, and only a few will be¬ 
come as big as mamma spider.” 

The child’s mind that is filled with useful 
knowledge lias little room for evil. A bond of 
union is formed between parents and children, 
and they become close companions. 

DEALING TRUTHFULLY WITH CHILDREN 

But while questions are answered, children 
must not be deceived. 

“Daddy, what makes the train stop?” asked 
a tiny girl of her father, as the train stood 
waiting. 

The father, who was reading a paper, replied, 
“They’re waiting for a cow to get off the track.” 

“Huh! a cow on the track? Why, daddy, the 
cow would be ’fraid to stay on the track so long, 
and would run off.” 


PARENTS AND CHILDREN ng 

“Just look and see if the cow isn’t down the 
bank. ’ ’ 

Two bright eyes searched the landscape. Soon 
the childish voice was heard exclaiming, “I see 
her, daddy, way over there!” 

Seating herself on her father’s knee, she put 
a tiny hand on each side of his face, tipped it 
up so she could look him in the eye, and asked, 
“What made the train stop, daddy?” 

“Oh,” replied the father, “the conductor lost 
a button oft his coat, and stopped the train to 
find it.” 

Again the little face was pressed against the 
window, trying to see the conductor. As the 
train began to move, in a flash she was back on 
her father’s knee, exclaiming, “He’s found it, 
daddy, he’s found it!” 

A ripple of laughter, the cause of which the 
child did not understand, came from the adjoin¬ 
ing seats. If in years to come this child is 
untruthful, who will be to blame? 

Sometimes the parents unite to deceive, as 
is illustrated by a story told by Mrs. Bess Fife 
Brooks: 

“A mother and father were ready to go to town, and the 
little boy ran out to the yard begging to be taken along. 
The mother didn't want to be bothered with him while shop¬ 
ping ; but knowing from past experience that she could not 
get rid of him without a scene, she said : 

“ ‘Run into the house, honey, and tell Aunt Martha to 
give you a cooky. We'll wait for you.’ 

“The little chap exceeded the speed limit getting to the 
kitchen, where his pockets were filled with goodies. With 


TEE REAL HOME 


120 

his face all aglow at the prospect of riding on the front 
seat beside his daddy, he rushed out to the porch, only to 
see the automobile with his father and mother inside, turn 
the corner two blocks away. 

“His little heart bursting with indignation, he shook 
his tiny fist at the fleeing pair, saying between sobs, ‘There 
— go — two — of — the — biggest — liars — in — town.’ ” 

What experience could be more cruel? How 
pitiful that any child should he taught untruth¬ 
fulness by its own parents! 

RESPECT FOR THE PROPERTY AND RIGHTS 

OF OTHERS 

A fine trait for cultivation in children as well 
as for grown persons, is a sense of ownership, a 
respect for the property of others, and the ne¬ 
cessity of treating it even more carefully than 
their own. 

If a boy knocks his ball through a neighbor’s 
window, and must use the money in his bank to 
pay for a pane of glass, or work until he earns 
enough, it will be a lesson he will remember. To 
return borrowed articles promptly, to replace 
them when lost in his possession, is a valuable 
lesson for any child. 

Some children are allowed to be very disre¬ 
spectful to elderly people. One boy, with a new 
sled, was coasting on the sidewalk of a steep hill. 
An old man reached it as the boy started down 
with a whoop. 

“Get out of the way, you old duffer!” he 
shouted as he sped by, almost knocking the 
man down in the snow. 


PARENTS AND CHILDREN 121 

This lad happened to have the right kind of 
father. The father saw the incident, called his 
son, made him follow the man he had insulted, 
and beg his pardon. Afterward there was a 
very impressive settlement between father and 
son. From that time this boy treated the weak 
and aged in a different manner, 

TEACH RESPONSIBILITY 

Biographies of our greatest men show that in 
their childhood they endured privation and bore 
burdens beyond their }^ears; but their hardships 
developed a strength of character not seen in 
some who are reared in comfort and wealth. 

Training in usefulness is invaluable. We 
may learn wise lessons from the way animals 
treat their young. Notice old Speckle, the 
mother hen. In their babyhood her chicks re¬ 
ceived her tenderest care. She watched over 
them, scratched for them, brooded them; but 
when they were half grown, she weaned them. 
Henceforth they must scratch for themselves. 
Consequently, in a short time her chickens were 
able to care for themselves, and were as happy 
as before. 

Children who are fed, clothed, educated, and 
cared for, and given no sense of responsibility 
till they are grown, feel greatly abused when the 
time comes that they must be self-supporting. 
Therefore they should learn early to bear bur¬ 
dens in the home, to be helpers wherever they 
can. Thus they learn the value of money and 
how to use it wisely. 





( 122 ) 


Training in usefulness is invaluable. 



PARENTS AND CHILDREN 123 

The story is told of a lad who was very waste¬ 
ful of his food. His father and mother tried to 
bring about a reformation, but he was wasteful 
still. When he was twelve years old, his father 
gave into his care a quarter of an acre of corn, 
and as much land planted to potatoes. The boy 
planted, hoed, and weeded corn and potatoes, 
and pursued potato bugs. He thought it great 
fun at first; but soon fun changed to hard work, 
and work became galling. The father had hired 
the land and paid for the plowing and the seed. 

Charlie learned what food costs. He husked 
his corn, dug his potatoes, sold his crop, paid his 
bills, and had a dollar and a half left for his 
work. But the experience taught him a lesson. 
He knew what it costs to produce a dinner from 
the soil. Food represented labor. The boy be¬ 
came thrifty and saving. 

If Pauline earns part or all of her spending 
money, she will not be so ready to ask father for 
means with which to multiply her costumes. 
Children who learn the value of food, clothing, 
and education, will not become a dead weight on 
their parents. For their good, children must 
become self-reliant and independent. 

A PLEASANT HOME 

The home of childhood must not be one of 
severity and gloom. Kind words and smiles, 
social, cheerful evenings, are as sunshine. 
Parents and children may be comrades, each 


I 


124 THE REAL HOME 

interested in the welfare and occupation of the 
others. 

Music adds charm to the humblest home. If 
an instrument can be afforded, it will be greatly 
enjoyed. Singing together brings good feeling 
and pleasure. A good reader in the family is a 
treasure. Books may be read in which all will 
be interested. 

Sociability of the right sort is a blessing to 
any home. Friends and neighbors may be 
invited in, and there will be holidays, anniver¬ 
saries, and excursions to vary the routine of 
life. In all these, parents and children should 
unite. Father and mother will keep young 
longer if they occasionally take time for recrea¬ 
tion. In all things, parents should live with 
their children. 




Chapter Eight 

PABENTAL DISCIPLINE 

“T WISH I could mind as my dog minds me,” 
J- said a little boy of his shaggy friend. “He 
always looks so pleased to mind,” he continued, 
“and I don’t.” 

We all fail when tested on obedience. It was 
so necessary men should obey that it was the 
first requirement given in Eden. It is of first 
importance in the home. Disobedience is the 
cause of all the troubles we suffer. 

Fathers and mothers are partners with God 
in government. He knows their perplexities. 

Notice some of the methods our Father uses 
in dealing with His earthborn children: 

1. He requires strict obedience. This is of 
such importance that He declares: “This thing 
commanded I them, saying, Obey My voice, and 
I will be your God, and ye shall be My people: 
and walk ye in all the ways that I have com¬ 
manded you, that it may be well unto you.” 
Jeremiah 7: 23. 

2. He gives tests and commands. He says, 
You mav do this; you must not do that. (Gene¬ 
sis 2:16, 17.) 

3. Having told His children what to do, He 
gave them the privilege of choice. When their 
faculties were fully developed, they might choose 
to obey or to disobey. He said, 4 ‘ Come now, and 
let us reason together. ’ ’ Isaiah 1:18. 


( 125 ) 


THE REAL HOME 


126 

4. He promises a reward for obedience and 
punishment for disobedience. “If ye be willing 
and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: 
but if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured 
with the sword. ’ ’ Isaiah 1:19, 20. 

5. He makes His requirements so plain they 
can be understood; the results of obedience and 
disobedience are also clearly pointed out. 

6. He always keeps His word. 

7. He does not ask impossible things. “All 
His biddings are enablings.” 

8. When His children are disobedient, He 
does not accept excuses. The story of Saul il¬ 
lustrates this. Saul did not obey, and when 
questioned, said his soldiers were responsible 
for failure. Samuel, as the representative of 
God, uttered these stern words of rebuke: “Be¬ 
hold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to 
hearken than the fat of rams. For rebellion is 
as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as 
iniquity and idolatry.” 1 Samuel 15:22, 23. 

9. Our Father suffers because His children 
are disobedient. At anv cost to Himself, He 

7 

seeks to save them from disobedience. 

10. He loves His children too well to withhold 
correction when they do not obey; “whom the 
Lord loveth He cliasteneth, and scourgeth every 
son whom He receiveth.” Hebrews 12:6. 

11. The only reason our Father chastens is 
that His children may repent and choose the 
right. “Furthermore we have had fathers of 
our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them 


PARENTAL DISCIPLINE 


127 

reverence: shall we not much rather be in-snb- 
jection unto the Father oh spirits, and live? 
For they verily for a few days chastened us after 
their own pleasure; but He for our profit. . . . 
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to 
be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward 
it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness 
unto them which are exercised thereby.” He¬ 
brews 12: 9-11. 

But the importance of obedience should not 
lead us to harshness and cruelty in dealing with 
children. It is, however, the worst cruelty that 
can be exercised toward any child to allow him 
to grow up disrespectful and undisciplined. 

This is strongly emphasized in the Bible: 

“For I know him [Abraham], that he will command his 
children and his household after him, and they shall keep 
the way of the Lord.” 

“He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that 
loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” 

“Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy 
soul spare for his crying.” 

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when 
he is old, he will not depart from it.” 

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the 
rod of correction shall drive'it far from him.” 

“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to 
himself bringeth his mother to shame.” 

“Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he 
shall give delight unto thy soul.” 

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: 
but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the 
Lord.” 

Notice that fathers and mothers are not told 
to punish their children. They are told to 


128 


THE REAL HOME 


“train,” “correct,” and “chasten.” Perhaps 
the word “chasten” is nearest the meaning of 
the word “punish”; but would it not be better 
to train, to correct, employing chastisement as 
a last resort? 

Parents, in the training of your children, study the les¬ 
sons that God has given in nature. If you would train a 
pink, or rose, or lily, how would you do it? Ask the gar¬ 
dener by what process he makes every branch and leaf to 
flourish so beautifully, and to develop in symmetry and 
loveliness. He will tell you that it was by no rude touch, 
no violent effort; for this would only break the delicate 
stems. It was by little attentions, often repeated. He 
moistened the soil, and protected the growing plants from 
the fierce blasts and from the scorching sun, and God caused 
them to flourish and to blossom into loveliness. In dealing 
with your children, follow the method of the gardener. By 
gentle touches, by loving ministrations, seek to fashion their 
characters after the pattern of the character of Christ. . . . 

Teach them that He made the laws which govern all 
living things, that He has made laws for us, and that these 
laws are for our happiness and joy. Do not weary them 
with long prayers and tedious exhortations, but through 
nature’s object lessons teach them obedience to the law of 
God .—“The Desire of Ages ” pages 515, 516. 

Long ago a boy started for school one morn¬ 
ing. It was a new experience for the little lad, 
and his mother, as she kissed him good-by, told 
him he must not play by the way, but to go and 
return without stopping. 

With lunch in hand, the boy meant to do as 
mother said. But in the creek he saw a fish. It 
looked very pretty, and he leaned over the rail¬ 
ing of the bridge to watch it swim. Then he saw 
another and another. But mother said he must 
not stop, so he hurried on. 


PARENTAL DISCIPLINE 129 

Soon he saw a butterfly. It was a beauty. If 
he could only catch it! He set his basket down, 
crept toward the butterfly, put his hat over it, 
thought he had caught it, looked, but it was 
not there. 

“There it is!” he exclaimed, as he looked at 
a tall weed, and again he tried to capture it. 
Away it flew, and the race began between but¬ 
terfly and boy. 

Then he began to feel tired. He looked for 
his lunch, but it was not where he thought he 
left it. He tried to find the bridge and the road. 
The sun grew hot, and he felt hungry. Still he 
kept on till the shadows of afternoon began to 
fall. The longer he walked, the deeper grew his 
loneliness, and he felt that he was lost. Perhaps 
he would never get home. 

Mother had taught the boy to pray. He knew 
that now he needed help. He knelt in the field. 
His voice was shaky, but he began, “Our Fa¬ 
ther,” when he heard a voice saying, “Well, my 
boy, what do you want?” 

In a moment he was clasped in the strong, 
loving arms of his father. On the homeward 
journey the child listened as father told how he 
had been thinking of his boy. He wondered 
if anything would happen while the child was 
alone. Father had been following him all day. 
God had sent him to answer his boy’s prayer. 

Then the father said: “Our heavenly Father 
watches you and me like that. When we do 


9 


130 


THE BEAL HOME 


wrong, it makes Him sorry, but He loves us, so 
He follows and helps when we ask Him. ’ ’ 

That father might have scolded his son. He 
might have whipped him. He might have told 
how he had lost a whole day following him. In¬ 
stead, he taught his child a lesson on the love of 
God that was never forgotten. Was such a 
day lost? 

“a picture of god” 

The story of how another father dealt with 
his erring son is interesting reading, and empha¬ 
sizes in a strong way how our Father treats His 
sinful children: 

“A minister, who lived in a New England town, had a 
son about fourteen years of age, going to school. One after¬ 
noon the boy’s teacher called at the home, asked for the 
father, and said: 

“ ‘Is your boy sick V 

“‘No. Why V 

“ ‘He was not at school to-da\ r .’ 

“‘Is that so?’ 

“ ‘Nor yesterday.’ 

“‘You don’t mean it!’ 

“ ‘Nor the day before.’ 

“ ‘Well!’ 

“‘And I supposed he was sick.’ 

“ ‘No, he’s not sick.’ 

“‘Well, I thought I should tell you.’ 

“And the father said, ‘Thank you,’ and the teacher left. 

“And the father sat thinking. By and by he heard a 
click at the gate, and he knew the boy was coming, so he went 
to open the door; and the boy knew, as he looked up, that 
his father knew about those three days. The father said: 

“ ‘Come into the library, Phil.’ And Phil went, and the 
door was shut. And the father said: ‘Phil, your teacher 
was here this afternoon. - He tells me you were not at school 
to-day — nor yesterday — nor the day before. And we sup- 


PARENTAL DISCIPLINE 


131 

posed you were. You let us think you were. And you 
cannot know how bad I feel. I have trusted you. I have 
always said, "I can trust my son, Phil.” And here you have 
been living a lie for three whole days, and I can’t tell you 
how bad I feel about it.’ 

“Well, that was hard on Phil to be talked to quietly like 
that. If his father had spoken to him roughly, or had asked 
him out to the woodshed for a confidential interview, it 
would not have been nearly so hard. Then after a moment’s 
pause, the father said, ‘Phil, we’ll get down and pray.’ And 
the thing was getting harder for Phil all the time. He 
didn’t want to pray just then. And they got down. And 
the father poured out his heart in prayer. And the boy 
knew, as he listened, how bad his father felt over his con¬ 
duct. Somehow he saw himself in the mirror on his knees 
as he had not before. It’s queer about that mirror of the 
knee joints. It does show so many things. Many folks don’t 
like it. 

“And they got up. And the father’s eyes were wet. And 
Phil’s eyes were not dry. Then the father said: 

“ ‘My boy, there’s a law of life that where there is sin, 
there is suffering. You can’t detach those two things. 
Where there is suffering, there has been sin somewhere. You 
can’t get those two things apart. Now,’ he went on, ‘you 
have done wrong. I am in this house as God is in the world. 
So we will do this: You go up to the attic. I’ll make a bed 
for you there. We’ll take your meals up to you at the regu¬ 
lar times, and you stay up there as long as you have been 
a living lie — three days and three nights.’ 

“And Phil didn’t say a word. They went upstairs, the 
bed was made, and the father kissed his boy and left him 
alone with his thoughts. Supper time came, and the father 
and mother sat down to eat. But they couldn’t eat for think¬ 
ing about the boy. The longer they chewed, the bigger and 
drier the food became in their mouths. And swallowing it 
was out of the question. 

“Then they went into the sitting room for the evening. 
He picked up a paper to read, and she sat down to sew. 
Well, his eyes weren’t very good: He wore glasses. This 
evening he couldn’t seem to see distinctly — the glasses 
seemed blurred. It must have been the glasses, of . course. 


THE REAL HOME 


132 

He took them off and cleaned them, and then found he had 
been holding the paper upside down. And she tried to 
sew. But the thread broke, and she couldn’t seem to get the 
needle threaded again. They were both bothered. 

“By and by the clock struck nine, and then ten, their 
usual hour for retiring. She said, ‘Aren’t you going to bed V 
And he said, A think I'll not go to bed yet; you go.’ ‘No, I 
guess I’ll wait awhile, too.’ 

“The clock struck eleven, and the hands worked around 
toward twelve. Then they locked up and went to bed, but — 
not to sleep. Each one pretended to be asleep, and each 
knew the other was not asleep. By and by she said, ‘Why 
don’t you sleep V And he said, gently : ‘How did you know 
I wasn’t sleeping? Why don’t you sleep?’ 

“ ‘Well, I just can’t for thinking of the boy up in the 
attic.’ 

“ ‘That’s the bother with me,’ he replied. The clock in 
the hall struck twelve, and one, and two. Still no sleep came. 

“At last he said, ‘Mother, I can’t stand this any longer; 
I’m going upstairs with Phil.’ He took his pillow and went 
softly out of the room, up the attic stairs, and pressed the 
latchkey softly so as not to wake the boy if he were asleep, 
and tiptoed across the attic floor to the corner by the 
window, and looked — there Phil lay, wude-awmke, with 
something glistening in his eyes, and what looked like stains 
on his cheeks. And the father got in between the sheets 
with his boy, and they got their arms around each other’s 
necks — for they had always been the best of friends, father 
and boy — and their tears got mixed up on each other’s 
cheeks. Then they slept. 

“The next night the father said: ‘Good-night, mother. 
I’m going upstairs with Phil.’ And the second night he 
slept in the attic with his boy. And the third night, again 
he said: ‘Mother, good-night. I’m going up with the boy 
again.’ And the third night he slept in the place of punish¬ 
ment with his son.” 

It is not surprising to know that that boy, 
when he grew to be a man, became a missionary 
for Jesus in the heart of China. 


PARENTAL DISCIPLINE 


133 

That father is a human picture of God. God 
could not take away sin. It’s here. He could 
not take away the suffering; for suffering bears 
witness that something is wrong in this world. 
So God came here in the person of His Son, 
and lay down beside man in the prison house 
of death. That’s God — our God. And besides 
that, He comes and places His life beside yours 
and mine, and makes us hate the sin and long 
to be pure. 

One mother gives this good advice: 

“I’d like to say to every young mother: Begin early and 
keep in view the qualities you want your children to have, 
and they will surely have them. Begin before they know 
that the world contains opinions different from yours. Get 
ahead of the enemy that sows the tares. Your tiny trees 
will be all right if you look after them in season. There is 
nothing hard in bending a tree while it is little. If you 
keep it in sight afterward and see that it stays straight, 
that is all that is necessary; it will almost certainly grow 
up as you started it.” 

Some of our sweetest lessons of faith, for¬ 
giveness, and trust are learned from child 
teachers. In the right discipline of our chil¬ 
dren, God teaches us through them. 

"I am taller than you, papa; look, I am taller than you.” 
From the toe of his foot to the tow of his scalp lock he drew 
All his stature up full as he stood in delight on my knee; 
And he tousled my hair as he chuckled and laughed in his glee. 
In a moment he jumped to the carpet and scurried away,— 
And I turned with a satisfied sigh to the tasks of the day. 

Just an hour before, as an obstinate truant dismayed, 

He was sent to my study for discipline, shamed and afraid ; 
With a sequence of punishment, tied to the leg of my chair, 
He had changed from defiance to pitiful penitence there; 



THE REAL HOME 


134 

And as judge of the culprit, I shortened the sentence awhile, 
Till resentment against me was lost in the light of my smile. 

But the incident held me in thought as I pondered it o’er: 
I had strayed as my children, and mayhap a hundred times 
more; 

When the bit of a painful affliction was bridled on me, 

And I learned by a galling experience what was to be, 

For a year I was bitter in heart, till the passion passed by. 
Ah, my baby is shouting the truth; he is taller than I. 

— Robert B. Thurber. 
THE CHILD’S VIEWPOINT 

One point to be guarded in discipline is to 
know absolutely that the child is guilty of mis¬ 
conduct. It is wise to get his understanding of 
the transaction, to learn his motive. This is 
illustrated by Bobby’s experience. 

A penny had been given him to place in the 
mission offering. His teacher informed the fa¬ 
ther that he had given nothing. When father 
met the boy, he inquired: 

“Did you put the cent I gave you into the 
box?” 

“N-o,” answered the child. 

“What did you do with that cent?” 

“Spent it.” 

“What for?” questioned the father. 
“Candy,” replied Bobby. 

The confession was followed by quick pun¬ 
ishment. 

Later Bobby was called to his mother’s room 
where she was lying ill. Mother drew him 
close to her. 


PARENTAL DISCIPLINE 135 

44 Papa thinks I stole; he does,” whispered 

Bobby. 

«/ 

4 4 Hush, dear. Now tell mother about that 
little cent.” 

44 Oh, you know,” exclaimed Bobby. 44 You 
know that little colored boy who lives with all 
the other children who haven’t any papas and 
mammas, and wear blue aprons.” 

44 In the children’s home?” said mother. 

44 That little colored boy’s mamma was a 
washerlady, but she’s dead so she can’t do any 
more washes and buy him candy. The peanut 
man on the corner had some nice candy — so I 
bought him a stick all for liisself.” 

44 Didn’t you keep even a bite?” 

44 No,” answered the manly little voice. 44 1 
wanted it awfully bad, but I couldn’t take it 
’cause it wasn’t my money. My money was for 
little boys in Africa. I’ve seen their pictures.” 

44 Does this little boy look like one of them?” 

44 He is one,” replied Bobby. 44 1 asked the 
teacher if he wasn’t, and she said 4 Yes.’ I 
wanted to give him my penny ’cause I can’t see 
those boys in Africa when I put money in 
the box.” 

What a difference when it was learned why 
Bobby spent his money for candy instead of 
giving it to missions! Happily for the boy, the 
mother looked beyond the act to the motive, and 
explained it to the father. But suppose he had 
never found out, and the child had long carried 
the hurt in his soul? What then? 



136 


THE REAL HOME 


Some parents will deal severely when an ac¬ 
cident occurs; a broken dish, a lost tool, the 
errand forgotten, all these are punished in 
anger. The offender is scolded, cuffed, and 
blamed. The father and mother seem to forget 
that they sometimes break or misplace articles, 
also that they sometimes forget. A safe rule to 
follow is never to discipline a child when angry, 
or when unable to exercise self-control. 


Those who desire to control others must first control 
themselves. To deal passionately with a child or youth will 
only arouse his resentment. When a parent or teacher be¬ 
comes impatient, and is in danger of speaking unwisely, let 
him remain silent. There is wonderful power in silence.— 
“Education,” page 292. 






























PARENTAL DISCIPLINE 137 

When children are told that if they disobey 
a penalty must follow, be sure to keep the 
promise. They remember such promises even 
though they seek to evade their fulfillment. The 
wise parent will “forbear threatening,” will be 
very careful in stating what consequences will 
follow disobedience; but when a promise has 
been made, it must be kept, unless some very 
good reason can be given for not keeping it. 

The child is to be pitied whose parents have 
tongues like Gatling guns. Before the volleys 
of wrathful, faultfinding words, children flee 
anywhere to escape the pitiless storm. Loud, 
angry tones and threatenings are not in place 
in the Christian home. The conditions in some 
homes are described in these lines: 

“Slap, slap, slap ! Spank, spank, spank! 

Whip, whip, whip! Yank, yank, yank! 

Scold, scold, scold ! Threat, threat, threat! 

Stubborn little rebels, not Won yet!” 

Children are never won that way. Banish the 
loud tones, the threatening manner, the quick, 
impatient blows. Speak quietly. Smile. Be 
kind, but firm. The change will be wonderful. 

It is wise to do our utmost to prevent the use 
of harsh measures in discipline. If the rod must 
be used, it should never be used publicly. Cer¬ 
tainly the parents will suffer with their erring 
child. They will explain why he must suffer. 
They will tell of their love for him, their desire 
that he may be obedient to them and to God. 
They will pray with and for him. They will 


THE BEAL HOME 


138 

accept the child’s repentance and freely pardon 
him. If in any way they have been wrong, they 
will confess it. The lesson will thus be deeply 
impressed, that sin always brings suffering. 

Herbert D. Ward tells in the Independent 
how his father dealt with him on one occasion: 

“I loved to play, and so joined the ‘Clan." This aggre¬ 
gation of boy dynamite was composed of about ten members 
of the same ages. We were in every innocent mischief con¬ 
ceivable, and the pace was rapidly getting faster. We even 
got so far as to play pool. ... We often played cards, hav¬ 
ing parties in each other’s houses when the families were 
out. . . . 

“It was a fine lot of boys, just drifting undirected. One 
evening late, the majority of the ‘Clan’ were up in my room 
playing poker with lump sugar for chips. My father was 
not expected home until midnight, and the party would be 
all over before then. But as a blind in case of accident, we 
had a chessboard loaded with men ready to concentrate on 
when the stairs creaked. 

“One of the lads was especially belligerent when he lost 
his sugar. In the midst of a scene and noise that would not 
be allowed in a respectable zoo, the door opened and in 
walked the master of the house. We were paralyzed. Cards 
were religiously taboo under his roof. He stayed and 
chatted pleasantly with no reference to the unholy sport. 
One by one the boys shivered and grew pale and limp. 
They slunk downstairs and disappeared. I expected noth¬ 
ing less than a good whipping. I had often gotten one 
before. But this time punishment was not meted out. The 
offense must have been too serious even for that. 

“After the dinner was over the next evening, my father 
spoke up: 

‘“Berty, will you go up to the attic and bring down my 
old botany canf 

“Wondering, I went. It was a battered, dingy old can, 
and very heavy. I had already been taught how to press 
flowers. The summer before, I had analyzed and pressed 
over a hundred varieties, but had never used the botany can. 


PARENTAL DISCIPLINE 


139 

My father was sitting alone at the dining room table with 
a big book, into which he was diligently peering. I was 
pretty well frightened, and kept still. It was watchful 
waiting. 

“ ‘Open the can/ he ordered, ‘and take out what you find 
there very carefully, and spread it on the table/ 

“Wondering, I opened the slide, thrust my fist in, and 
encountered a hard substance wrapped in old newspapers. 
Then another, and another. Soon each was uncovered, and 
there was spread out a glittering array of crystals. These 
specimens were wonderful to the eyes of the ignorant child. 
This was my first lesson in mineralogy. In a few weeks the 
‘ClaiT met and formed the first mineralogical club of New¬ 
ark, and was under the guidance of my wise father, who 
transformed a gang of irresponsible boys into an ardent 
group of collectors. That summer we were as eager a lot 
of enthusiasts as was ever seen. The situation that was 
growing serious was saved by a wise direction of waste 
exuberance, and the pool room knew us no more. Cards 
were henceforth taboo without any one’s forbidding their 
use. A greater interest had taken their place.” 

“MERCY KEJOICETH AGAINST JUDGMENT” 

Let mercy be mingled with justice in all our 
relationships. “He shall have judgment with¬ 
out mercy, that hath showed no mercy.” 

In “Quiet Talks on Home Ideals,” S. D. 
Gordon illustrates this text with an incident 
which was related by one of the two boys con¬ 
cerned, after he had grown to manhood: 

“Once I saved my brother Tom a promised whipping for 
leaving down the bars when he went after the cows at milk¬ 
ing time, thus giving the young cattle left in the pasture a 
chance to get out, which they always improved. If they 
were at the back of the lot when Tom got the cows, he 
thought it unnecessary to put up the bars; it would be so 
short a time before the cows would be driven back. 

“Father cautioned and reproved him several times, and 
finally he threatened to whip him if it happened again. 


THE REAL HOME 


140 

Several weeks passed, and he left the bars down again. The 
young cattle got into the corn, doing much damage. 

“The next morning father said nothing, but went about 
his usual work. Tom was gloomy; there was an air of 
depression in the house; and I was greatly troubled. I 
couldn’t bear to have Tom whipped, nor could I blame fa¬ 
ther. At last I resolved to go and speak to him. 

“The sun was shining bright, and he was opening some 
tumbles of hay in the east meadow. I approached him 
slowly, for I did not feel sure of my ground, and stood still 
without saying a word. He finally looked up at me and 
said, ‘Well, Joe, what is itf 

“ ‘I have come to speak to you about Tom; I don't want 
him whipped.’ 

“ ‘I don’t see how you can help it, my son. 1 cannot have 
my crops destroyed in this way, and I must keep my word.’ 

“ ‘Father, didn’t you read this morning in the lesson: 
“He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for 
our iniquities: . . . and with His stripes we are healed ’’V 

“ ‘Yes; what a boy you are to remember, Joe!’ 

“ ‘Well, I will take the blows you intend to give Tom.’ 

“ ‘I can’t do that, Joe. Tom is the transgressor, not j'-ou,’ 
father answered, his face softening. Then looking at me 
keenly, he asked, ‘Did Tom send you to me?’ 

“ ‘No; he knows nothing of my coming.’ 

“My father stood leaning on his pitchfork, looking down 
on the ground. At length he said, ‘Go and bring Tom.’ 

“I found him on the front porch with a sober face, trying 
to study. 

“ ‘Come with me, Tom; father wants you.’ 

“ ‘I know what he wants,’ turning a little pale. After a 
moment’s hesitation, he arose, saying, T might as well go 
now and have it done with.’ 

“As we walked along, I thought best to give him a little 
advice, for he generally did as occasion served him. There 
was no knowing beforehand what he would do. 

“‘Now, Tom, you mustn’t flare up. You must be good 
and answer father’s questions in a pleasant, kind way. You 
mustn’t talk any; only answer his questions. I don’t think 
he will be hard with you.’ 

“Father stood as I had left him. I can see him now, 
after the lapse of so many years, with his back to the 


PARENTAL DISCIPLINE 


141 

morning sun, leaning forward a little on the handle of his 
fork, looking down to the ground, one hand above the other 
and his chin on his hands, and some hay scattered about 
him. He did not seem to see us. He was lost in reverie. 

“ ‘Father,’ I ventured timidly, ‘Tom is here.’ 

“He looked up at us quickly, then said: ‘Tom, do you 
remember those words in our Scripture reading this morn¬ 
ing : “He was wounded for our transgressions, He was 
bruised for our iniquities: . . . and with His stripes we 
are healed” V 

“‘Yes, sir,’ answered Tom, greatly surprised. 

“ ‘What do you think those words mean V 

“ ‘That Christ suffered for us,’ replied Tom, his voice 
unsteady and his face flushing. 

“ ‘Well, Joe offers to suffer for you.’ 

“Tom turned to me with a look on his face I shall never 
forget, and exclaimed, ‘No, Joe, you shall not do that!’ 

“Then, flinging his arms around my neck, he kissed me, 
and, as quick as a flash, he stepped up to father, and held 
out his hand, saying: ‘The stripes belong to me, father; I 
am ready.’ 

“Tears were falling down father’s face, and for a mo¬ 
ment he could not speak; then he said: ‘No, Tom, I cannot 
punish any one now. I do not think you’ll ever forget this 
day. If you do, remember Joe’s offer holds good. I love 
my children, and I want to do them all the good I can. But 
I must be obeyed, and this is one way of doing them good. 
You may go now.’ 

“Tom did not stir. He was evidently waiting for me, 
and yet, for some reason I could not explain, I hesitated. 
Stepping closer, I said, ‘Father, I want to kiss you.’ 

“He caught me in his arms, saying, ‘Oh, my boy!’ and 
kissed me. Then taking Tom, he said, ‘God bless you, dear 
Tom,’ and kissed him, with swimming eyes. 

“Then with great awe upon us, we went to the house. 
Tom never left the bars down again.” 


Chapter Nine 

THE PRIVILEGES OF A FATHER 


“There are times when the work seems heavy; there are days 
when toil is rough, 

When your grinding occupation seems like drudgery 
enough. 

There are hours of busy planning; there are schemes to 
figure out; 

There are grave and sober moments of anxiety and doubt. 

Oftentimes you leave your business with your mind per¬ 
plexed with care, 

When the clouds hang dark and heavy, and 'tis gloomy 
everywhere; 

But the sunshine comes to cheer you out of skies of deep¬ 
est blue 

If there’s just a little fellow waiting at the gate for you.” 



N Arkansas farmer bought two hundred 


-Ajl forty-three acres of land for 'two hundred 

*/ 

dollars. One day, while walking over the tract, 
he picked tip a small stone which he thought 
might be valuable. It was examined by experts, 
who pronounced it a diamond. 

The two-hundred-dollar farm was sold for 
thirty-six thousand dollars. Diamonds have 
been mined there worth more than four times 
the money paid by the second purchaser. Values 
still increase, and the mine bids fair to rival 
those of South Africa. 

Children are treasures outvaluing the most 
costly gems. In the humblest home, a character 
may to-day be developing which will outshine 
the greatest and best on earth. 


( 142 ) 


THE PRIVILEGES OF A FATHER 143 

Much is said and written of the love and in¬ 
fluence of the mother. She is rightly honored 
and revered. But the faithful father is also 
worthy of honor and reverence. 

It is a great privilege to be a father. He 
possesses tremendous power for either good or 
evil. The Christian father is the connecting 
link between God and his children. He is their 
earthly mediator. He is the priest of the house¬ 
hold. He is the houseband; he binds the family 
together. 

A father understands his children as no other 
. can. He knows their weaknesses. In them he 
sees his own failings reproduced. Parents who 
expect that their children will be an honor to 
them must themselves lead noble lives. The law 
of heredity is too little studied or understood. 
Every child is entitled to the best his father can 
give him. No other teacher can be as well quali¬ 
fied to deal with children as their own parents 
if they sense their responsibility and prepare to 
meet it. The true father will aim to make his 
children nobler than himself, to lift them above 
the plane of his own faulty living. 

“PLEASE LIFT ME HIGHER 7 ’ 

A little child was lying on his deathbed. His 
father bent over him, and the lad whispered, 
“Please lift me up.” Tenderly the father 
placed his hands under the wasted form and 
raised his child from the bed. ‘‘Lift me higher, 77 
came the faint request. And again the child 


144 


THE REAL HOME 


whispered , 16 Father, please lift me higher. * ’ The 
request continued until he was lifted high above 
his father’s head. 

Many children by their weak and faulty char¬ 
acters are beseeching their fathers to live a 
higher, holier, unblemished life, and thus lift 
them to a higher plane, where they too can walk 
in unsullied purity. There would be fewer 
prodigal sons if there were fewer prodigal 
fathers. To devote his life to the uprearing of 
his children is the best earthly investment any 
father can make. It will surely bring back large 
dividends. Father, thank God if it is not yet 
too late to train your children to walk the royal 
path of life. 

In “Quiet Talks on Home Ideals,” S. D. 
Gordon truly says: 

“Whatever a man might wish to have his child be, that he 
must be himself for long years before. And what he would 
not have the growing son to be, that he must not be. For 
the man gives himself out physically and mentally, habits 
and thoughts and purposes, to become another like himself. 
There are a great many men who are not fathers except in 
the barren technical and legal meaning. . . . Fatherhood 
does not begin at the birth of a child. Its beginnings go 
as far back as a man is'making his character by his habit 
of life.” 

Dr. David Starr Jordan declares: 

“Fathers are quite as hard to train as boys. . . . The 
father can promote the plain virtues of sobriety, honesty, 
tolerance, and friendliness. The most effective way of 
teaching these virtues is to illustrate them in himself. . . . 
This is your problem in life — the problem vastly more 
important to you than any or all others. How will you meet 


THE PE IVI LEGES OF A FATHER 


145 


it, as a man or as a fool? It is your problem to-day and 
every day, and the hour of your choice is the crisis in your 
history.” 

WHY NOT FATHER’S DAY ? 

“Mother’s Day” is quite universally observed. 
Why do we not have Father’s Day as well, a day 
when father, who bears the heavier burdens of 
the family, may be encouraged and honored? 
Father is as worthy of the children’s love as is 
mother if he is a true father. 

Only a father, with a tired face, 

Coming home from the daily race, 

Bringing little of gold or fame 

To show how well he has played the game; 

But glad in his heart that his own rejoice 
To see him come and hear his voice. 

Only a father, neither rich nor proud, 

Merely one of the surging crowd; 

Toiling, striving from day to day, 

Facing whatever may come his way; 

Silent, whenever the harsh condemn, 

And bearing it all for the love of them. 

Only a father, but he gives his all 
To smooth the way for his children small; 

Doing with courage stern and grim 
The deeds that his father did for him. 

This is the line that for him I pen — 

Only a father, but the best of men. 

— Author Unknown. 

The absorbing distractions and attractions of 
modern life force men to be home-providers 
rather than home-abiders. Much of the training 
of the children is left to the mother, and the 
father is the breadwinner. Such relationship 


10 


THE BEAL HOME 


146 

is one cause of estrangement between fathers 
and children. 

A daughter went to her mother with the re¬ 
quest that she ask a favor for her of her father. 

“Why not ask him yourself?” the mother 
replied. 

“I don’t feel very well acquainted with him,” 
was the daughter’s answer. 

A father misses much if he is not “well ac¬ 
quainted” with his children, if he is not their 
comrade and confidant as well as their bank to 
which they go for funds. Father can make no 
better investment than to devote his life to the 
rearing of his family in the nurture and admo¬ 
nition of the Lord. To him, as well as to the 
mother, the task is given. It costs, but it pays. 

Such an investment calls for all that is best 
in a man. From the moment he looks into the 
face of his first-born,— yes, long before that mo¬ 
ment,— there is a price to pay. The heart must 
be enlarged, ennobled, purified. There is no 
experience which can bring a man into closer 
touch with his Creator. His whole soul will cry 
out in its love and longing that he may not mar 
the wonderful trust committed to his keeping. 
This heart-longing can never be expressed in 
words. 

KEEPING FAITH WITH CHILDREN 

Luther Burbank, the plant wizard, thinks 
that most of the lawlessness and corruption 
starts with the early experiences of the child. 
He savs: 

%j 




THE PE IVI LEGES OF A FATHER 147 

“Be dishonest with a child in word or look or deed, and 
you have started a grafter. Grafting, or stealing,— for that 
is the better word,— will never be taken up by a man whose 
formative years have been spent in an atmosphere of abso¬ 
lute honesty. A child knows instinctively whether you are 
true or dishonest in thought as well as in deed; you cannot 
escape. It may not always show its knowledge, but its judg¬ 
ment of you is unerring. Its life is stainless, open to receive 
all impressions, just as is the life of the plant, only far more 
pliant and responsive to influences. Upon the child, before 
the age of ten, we have an unparalleled opportunity to work; 
for nowhere else is there material so plastic.” 

Nothing can be more disastrous to a father’s 
influence than for his children to learn that he 
is not strictly truthful. A story illustrating this 
principle is aptly told by Annie Porter Johnson 
in American Motherhood: 

Eight-year-old Bobby had been guilty of 
lying. The parents had tried many remedies to 
break this habit, but without success. Finally 
the boy was called to the sitting room for a con¬ 
ference with father and mother. He was play¬ 
ing ball, and the game was at the crucial stage. 

“ ‘What d’ye want, father V he panted. 

“‘I want to talk to you, Bobby. Put your bat in the 
corner and sit down.’ 

“Bobby obeyed with a sigh. He had a foreboding that 
something unusual was about to take place, or he might have 
argued the question. As it was, he glanced doubtfully at 
his father and mother. There was a discouraged, unhappy 
look on his mother’s face, and in his father’s eye he could 
plainly see a solemn determination that was not exactly 
reassuring. 

“‘Bobby,’ began his father sorrowfully, ‘your mother 
complains that you have a very bad habit of telling lies. 
Don’t you know, Bobby, that it is very wicked to tell lies?’ 


148 


THE REAL HOME 


“Bobby swung his feet and chewed his tongue vigorously 
while his father propounded this question. 

“‘What does mother tell ’em for, then?’ he asked, 
squarely. 

“‘Why, Bobby —’ began his mother, in horror. 

“ Wes, you do, mother! you know you do/ blurted Bobby, 
stoutly. 

“ ‘Bobert/ warned his father sternly; ‘be careful what —’ 

“‘She does, father, and so do you. You both do!’ 

“ ‘My son, be quiet at once! I shall have to punish —’ 

“‘Why, Bobby/ interrupted his mother, ‘when did you 
ever hear me tell a lie V 

“ ‘You’ve told three to-day/ he announced bluntly. ‘You 
said you’d whip me if I told another lie, and I told two just 
to see; an’ you never whipped me at all. An’ you said I 
couldn’t have no cake if I run away, an’ I run away, an’ 
I got the cake all right. An’ you told Mrs. Smith you’d be 
so glad if she’d come over, an’ afterward you said you hoped 
to goodness she wouldn’t come, ’cause you didn’t like her 
anyway. Ain’t them lies?’ 

“Mother’s eyes fell beneath Bobby’s searching arraign¬ 
ment. ‘Well, Bobby/ she stammered, ‘I — I — didn’t 
mean —’ 

“‘Well, mother, I didn’t either/ assented Bobby. He 
realized that he was getting the upper hand, and was ready 
for more worlds to conquer. 

“Bobby’s father spoke rather reproachfully. ‘I am very 
much surprised, Lucy; very much surprised to hear —’ 

“ Wou needn’t scold her, father; you tell ’em too.’ 

“ ‘Not another word, Bobby! not another word, or I shall 
punish you severely. When did I ever tell a lie ?’ 

“‘You promised the preacher you’d go to church, and I 
heard you tell mother afterward you told him that just to 
get rid of him, and you didn’t mean to go at all. An’ you 
said if I’d weed the onion bed, you’d get me a new rubber 
ball. I worked awful hard, but you didn’t get me any ball.’ 

“Bobby’s father looked at Bobby’s mother sheepishly. 
‘I didn’t think. I — I — forgot/ he stumbled. 

“Bobby’s bright eyes saw the mutually sheepish look pass 
between his father and mother, and he knew he was master 
of the situation. 


“ ‘I forgot, too/ he replied. ‘I guess the whole family 
forget/ he added, glancing wistfully at the bat in the corner. 
As far as he was concerned, it was time for the conference 
to adjourn. 

“ ‘That is all for this time, Bobby. You may go now/ 
said Bobby’s father, trying to look stern and parental. 

“Bobby grabbed the bat, and with a whoop rushed out 
of the door. 

“Then Bobby’s father and mother had a conference in 
the sitting room all by themselves.” 


It will bear repeating that all promises to 
children must be carefully made and kept. If 
for any reason it is impossible to keep a prom¬ 
ise, the reason must be explained, for children 
have a keen sense of justice which cannot safely 
be ignored. Frankness and fairness should 
enter into all dealings with them. 

This story is told by Elizabeth Palmer 
Milbank: 

“A little friend and neighbor, aged five years, came in 
to see me the other day. Shadows were in his eyes and his 
rosebud mouth drooped. I love the little chap for himself; 
I love him because for two years mother-love has been to 
him but a memory. So I welcomed him with a smile and 
a ‘What’s the matter with you, Billy-Boy?’ but there was 
no answering smile, just a doleful ‘I got somefin’ dreffel to 
tell you, Mrs. Mason.’ 

“Something too ‘dreffel’ to be said aloud evidently, for 
he climbed into my lap, put the drooping mouth close to my 
ear, and whispered, ‘Mrs. Mason, my papa isn’t a right 
promiser.’ The hopeless, despairing tone made the confes¬ 
sion tragic. 

“ ‘Why, Billy-Boy, what do you mean V 

“ ‘He promised to bring me some candy, and he didn’t 
do it.’ 

“‘Oh, but he is such a busy man, dear. He just for¬ 
got it.’ 


150 


THE BEAL HOME 


“ ‘Yes,’ he answered soberly, 'I thought about that. But 
he promised to make me a swing, and he didn’t do it. 

“I struggled to hold his faith. ‘Billy, he probably didn’t 
have the things ready to make a swing.’ 

“‘Yes, I thought about that, too. But he promised to 
take me uptown last night, and he didn't do it; and,’ in a 
tone of sorrowful finality, ‘I know now he isn't a right 
promiser.’ 

“His voice broke on the last word and his blue eyes filled; 
but too manly to shed tears, he whistled to his dog and 
hurried away before I could make further excuses for the 
father who I also knew was ‘not a right promiser.’” 

“he may command his children” 

* 

Of Abraham, the friend of God, this testi¬ 
mony is borne: “For I have known him, to the 
end that he may command his children and his 
household after him, that they may keep the 
way of Jehovah, to do righteousness and justice.” 

Though Abraham loved Isaac devotedly, yet 
no foolish fondness held him back from com¬ 
manding his son to do right. This was apparent 
when Isaac became a young man; for he pre¬ 
ferred to lose his life as a sacrifice rather than 
fail to carry out God’s plan. The father is the 
commander in chief of the family. His com- 
mands will be given in loye, but he knows they 
must be given, and that children must learn to 
obey. He cannot commit this work to others. 

A little hand was clasping mine 
When day was gone, 

And shadows lingered everywhere 
As night drew on; 

A curly head was snuggled close 
Against my own; 


TEE PRIVILEGES OF A FATHER 151 

Blue eyes, all wonder filled, looked on 
A world unknown. 

The tiny fingers, restless, moved 

And gripped my own with all their might; 

Then through the stillness came this plea: 

“Hold my hands, father, hold them tight.” 

• When life is spent, and sunset hues 
All blend to gray, 

And twilight passes silently, 

No more the day; 

As darkness gently leads me toward 
The afterwhile, 

And quiet everywhere pervades 
The last long mile; 

Then I shall feel around me thrown 
Protectingly an arm of might, 

And whisper to Him trustingly, 

“Hold my hands, Father, hold them tight.” 

— Irene C. Avery, in “Sunday School Times.” 



Fathers, break down that wall of reserve between yourself and your children. 
Play games with them, ask them what they have done during the day. Show 
that you are interested in the things that interest them. 


Chapter Ten 

DIFFERENT TYPES OF FATHERS 

I" N an old book written in 1565, the author, 

Roger Ascliam, complains that the men of 
that time were willing to pay much more to care 
for their horses than for their children. 4 ‘But 
God rewards them as He should, ’ ’ says grim old 
Roger, “for He suffereth them to have tame and 
well-ordered horses, but wild and unfortunate 
children; and therefore in the end they find 
more pleasure in their horses than comfort in 
their children.” 

Some fathers treat their children more 
harshly than they would treat an animal. “One 
afternoon,” writes Martha Warner, “as I was 

( 152 ) 





















DIFFERENT TYPES OF FATHERS 153 

reading, I heard some one howl out, 4 Here you; 
drop that!’ Looking out of the window, I saw 
by the roadside an automobile, with a grimy 
man crawling out from under it, and a baby girl 
toddling in the direction of a woman who was 
walking down the street. 

“The man went after the child, took some¬ 
thing away from her, spanked her soundly, and 
called to the woman: 4 Come back here, and take 
care of this blamed young one! If a few things 
more get lost, we will be stalled here all night.’ 

4 4 1 turned to my reading, which was about the 
training a pup received in the school where he 
was sent to learn the trade of war dog. Only the 
most skillful men were employed as trainers. 
The article went on to say: 4 Never once did the 
trainer lose his temper. And that was well, for 
once you lose your patience with a learning dog 
and howl at him and beat him, you lose forever 
your mysterious power over him.’ 

4 4 My thought wandered back to the baby girl 
and the lesson which her trainer—her father— 
had given her. . . . 

4 4 Somehow I feel sorry for the baby girls — 
and the baby boys—whose fathers, when they 
lose their tempers, lose sight of their exalted 
position, that of fatherhood. And I feel sorry 
for the fathers; for I know they love their baby 
girls. Yet they will continue to howl at them 
and beat them, unless they seek help from the 
great Ruler of us all, in whose sight a baby girl 
is infinitely more precious than a baby dog.” 






154 


THE BEAL HOME 


Occasionally when a father reaches home and 
is greeted with the family clamor, he exclaims 
to the weary mother, who has endured the noise 
all day, “Can’t you keep those children quiet?” 
Are they not his children as much as hers? It 
will be a blessing to him, and a relief to the 
mother, if he will help in their training, teach 
and correct them, and share the burdens as well 
as the joys of the family. 

Some fathers find it difficult to win the love 
of their children on account of their own lack 
of kindly manners. They are reserved by na¬ 
ture, and though they love their children, they 
do not know how to tell them so; hence a wall 
of reserve conies between father and children. 

But all this can be overcome if taken in time. 
Father can play a game with the children, tell 
them a story, let them comb his hair, ask them 
what they have done during the day. He can 
be polite to his little girls, and a kiss now and 
then will be prized. 

I like to play close to my father's den, 

When lie’s at work, and every now and then 
Ask, “Father, are you there V ’ He answers back, 
“Yes, son.” That time I broke my railroad track 
All into bits, he stopped his work 
And wiped my tears, and said, “Boy, boy! be game!” 
And then he showed me how to fix it right, 

And I took both my arms and hugged him tight. 

Once, when I asked him if he still was there, 

He called me in, and rumpled up my hair, 

And said, “How much alike are you and I! 

When I feel just as boys feel when they cry, 


DIFFERENT TYPES OF FATHERS 155 

I call to our Big Father, to make sure 

That He is there, my childish fear to cure ; 

And always, just as I to you, 'Yes, son/ 

Our Father calls, and all my fret is done.” 

— Anonymous. 

“Why did you hold the door open till mamma 

went into the house?” a very little bov was 

*/ */ 

asked. 

At first he could not answer; then he said 
brightly, “Why, ’cause daddy does.” 

“fathers, provoke not your children 

TO WRATH” 

The father may be a tyrant or an adored 
sovereign. He may lead his children to heaven 
or drive them to perdition. The children in any 
home have the right to fair and courteous treat¬ 
ment. They may be helpless before the temper 
and surly disposition of their father, but they 
suffer more than he can know; and he who fails 
to control his irritation and anger, even when 
the child has done wrong, suffers a great loss. 
He plants thorns for his own feet. In the brief - 
biographies of the Bible we obtain glimpses of 
the training different fathers gave their chil¬ 
dren. Read the life of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, 
Eli, David. Much good instruction on both 
sides of the question is given in the experiences 
of these men. 

“he gave himself” 

The greatest gift any father can bestow upon 
his children is to give them himself,— give them 



156 


THE REAL HOME 


his love, his interest, his time, his companionship. 

Edgar A. Guest tells how his father became 
his teacher and companion: 

“My father was the first to show me a business office. It 
was the one where he had been employed for many years as 
an expert accountant. I remember that I was curious, as 
all small boys are; but he was not content merely with grati¬ 
fying my curiosity. He wanted me to learn the reason of 
things. 

“Very proudly he led me into the office of the general 
manager, who took me on his knee and talked very kindly. 
I recall that father seemed pleased with the way I answered 
his questions. 

“There seems nothing extraordinary about such an event. 
Innumerable fathers have taken their little boys to the place 
of their employment, and the little boys no doubt have 
enjoyed their experiences. But not every father thinks to 
make these happy little visits object lessons of real value. 

“On the way home, he talked to me of the people we 
had seen. 

“ ‘That was a good man you met this morning, sonny,’ 
he said to me. ‘Did you like him?’ 

“When I replied that I did, he smiled, and added: ‘Once 
he was a little boy, just like you; and when he first went to 
work, he was cheerful and willing and obedient and did his 
best to please others. By and by he worked his way upward, 
until now he is in charge of the big factory you have just 
seen. Because he is a good man, people like him; because 
he has worked hard and made the most of his opportunities, 
he has succeeded. Copy good men, and you will never go 
wrong.’ 

“The incident impressed me as my father intended it 
should. During our walks together, he had a way of calling 
my attention to men he wanted me to know, and always he 
talked about them. He seemed to be acting as a pair of 
magnifying glasses for me, enlarging the good qualities of 
others, that I might see them clearly. I never saw a great 
man 'without my father’s explaining to me why he was 
great, nor a bad man without being made to understand 


DIFFERENT TYPES OF FATHERS 157 

what made him bad. In that way I learned .what traits to 
acquire and what faults to avoid. He was teaching me by 
example, and I didn’t know I was being taught.” 

Children love sociability. If they do not find 
it at home, they will seek it elsewhere. 

“No, I cannot go with you after dinner to¬ 
night, because that is father’s time and we 
always have so much fun then. ’ ’ That was what 
a girl was heard to say when invited to go with 
a friend. 

66 What does 6 father’s time’ mean?” I in¬ 
quired. 

“Oh,” said she, “father’s time is right after 
dinner at night, an hour or so before we go to 
bed. Father makes lots of pleasure for us then, 
and that is the only time we have with him ex¬ 
cept a little while in the morning. Father never 
goes away then, neither do we; we give that hour 
to him, and he gives it to ns. It is our 6 together 
hour.’ Oh, he is such a good, dear father!” 

Other fathers may receive such commenda¬ 
tion. Loving companionship is the price. This 
father was away at work all day, with no time 
for the children except this one hour. 

A little son was given me, 

A child to train up for the Lord; 

To lead by waters pure and free, 

To feed in pastures of His Word. 

The gleam of gold was in my eyes; 

The call of pleasure lured me still; 

Fame seemed a fair and goodly prize, 

And touched me with a feverish thrill. 


158 


THE BEAL HOME 


My heart was overcharged with care; 

I labored hard, at dusk or dawn; 

While I was busy here and there, 

My son was gone. 

— Elizabeth Bosser. 

A father’s part in the upbringing of children 
is not less important than the mother’s. His 
noble, manlike goodness should be to them a 
type of the Father in heaven. He is the one to 
protect and shield his children from the snares 
of evil, especially as they reach the teen age. 

A father asked his traveling companion if he 
would care to see what he was going to give his 
ten-year-old boy. He handed over a slip of 
paper, and this is what his companion read: 

“For one year from date, I promise to give my son, one 
hour of my time every day. And I promise that this time 
shall be solely his, without interference for business or 
pleasure of any other sort, and that I shall regard it as a 
prior engagement each day.” 

The father's name was signed at the bottom. 

“Would you like to know what made me think of it?” 
he asked. 

“Well, the other day a young fellow came to me for a 
job. I had known his father years ago, and they were a 
fine family. Now this son is down and out. He looked as 
if he’d been drinking, and evidently he had no funds. 

“When I asked how he had come to such a pass, ‘and 
with such a father,’ I added, he half broke down. 

“ ‘My father must have been a fine man,’ he said, ‘but, 
unfortunately for me, I only knew it through others. He 
was always too busy to pay much attention to me. As a 
matter of fact, I never knew him as a companion, a friend, 
or anything but a man who paid the bills.’ 

“As I sat listening to that poor chap, I suddenly realized 
that he was painting my picture too. I’ve been ‘too busy’ 
many a time to take an interest in the things brought to me 


DIFFERENT TYPES OF FATHERS 159 


by my boy. I never have been a companion to him. We’re 
not friends now. Think of that! 

“Think of a man’s neglecting the most important busi¬ 
ness in which he can engage,— the proper raising of his 
children to help strengthen humanity and carry on the 
world’s work! It came over me like a flash, and I know I 
must have reddened with shame. And I gave the fellow a 
job, and told him he’d given me the best job I’d ever had. 

“So you see, I am going to put it as a gift, though it’s 
the highest sort of duty. And really, I ought to make it 
more than an hour a day, considering the years I’ve been 
neglecting this biggest of opportunities. Here I’ve been 
all these years, rushing and working and worrying at a 
work any intelligent and industrious man could do, and 
paying the least possible attention to a work no other man 
in the world can do but myself — being my boy’s father.”— 
Leigh Mitchell Hodges, in Philadelphia "North American.” 

“THIS IS MY father” 

It is well for fathers to remember that their 
children will not always remain young. Your 
boy thinks you a wonderful man now. You 
mend his toys, tell him stories, walk and talk 
with him. 

By and by he will leave the home school for 
college. The friends of his boyhood days — 
some of them—will also be there. Perhaps 
their fathers will visit them. The doctor’s son, 
the boy whose father is in Congress, will go 
there. Perhaps you will go. Your son will lead 
the way to the president’s office, and will say, 
“This is my father, Mr. Wheeler.” 

How will your boy feel as he says it? Will 
your girl dread the ordeal, or will there be satis¬ 
faction and pride that they have such a father 
to present to their friends and teachers? Re- 




TEE REAL HOME 


160 

member, the boys and girls of to-day will be the 
men and women of to-morrow, and they reach 
manhood and womanhood in an amazingly 
short space. 

It is a man’s privilege to be such a father 
that his children will have no cause to be 
ashamed of him. 

Until children reach the age of from seven 
to ten years, they are usually more under the 
influence of the mother; but after that the boy 
needs true manliness to bear the sneer, 4 ‘Tied 
to his mother’s apron strings.” If he can only 
say with satisfaction to himself, “Father says 
this,” and if father commands his respect, much 
is gained. 

When girls reach the age of fourteen and 
upward, the companionship and influence of 
their father will prove a great power in their 
lives. If he walks, talks, and reads with them, 
discusses their studies, their amusements, their 
future prospects; if he advises them with refer¬ 
ence to their friendships, especially those with 
young men, he can forestall much evil, and 
prove a lifelong blessing. 

The father may be the comrade and best 
friend of his children. He may enrich his own 
soul by love, toil, and self-denial. He may learn 
to live for others instead of self. Who will de¬ 
base his manhood by being an unworthy father? 
Who can consent to be impure, untrue, dishon¬ 
est, brutal, and face the consequences he will 
reap in his own children? Can youf 



Chapter Eleven 


FATHER AND SON 


W HEN the little fellow trudges after father, 
gets in his way, asks questions from morn¬ 
ing till night, views with worshipful eyes all 
his daddy does,— that is the father’s sowing 
time, and upon his faithfulness as a sower 
depends the quality of the harvest. 

Death entered a home and snatched the only 
son from his parents. A monument was erected 
over his tomb, bearing this inscription: “Our 
Baby, Our Boy, Our Chum.” These words ex¬ 
pressed the intimacy with his parents which 
every child should enjoy. 

But not all children are the “chums” of fa¬ 
ther and mother. The parents lament that their 
sons and daughters do not love them. A proba¬ 
tion officer in the juvenile court of a Western city 

( 161 ) 


11 









162 


THE REAL HOME 


says the most pitiful problem they deal with is 
that of parents who come with tears and tell how 
their opinions and all the sacrifices they make 
for their children are treated with contempt. 
Their advice is spurned, their children choose 
bad companions, keep late hours, and indulge in 
questionable amusements which cause many 
tears and sleepless nights. 

What can the probation officers do in such 
cases ? They say to the troubled parents, 44 Find 
out why your boy or girl does not love and re¬ 
spect you, and start anew to build up love and 
respect.’’ But those who fail to hold the love 
of their children before they reach the teen age 
are terribly handicapped. 

Some one has given this reading to a verse in 
the twenty-third psalm: 44 He maketli me to lie 
down in green pastures; He driveth me beside 
the still waters.” But children are too much 
like their parents to enjoy being driven. Love 
cannot be forced; it must be won. 

44 STEADY, MY BOY, STEADY” 

The story is told of three lads, guilty of mis¬ 
demeanor while attending school far from their 
homes. When father number one heard of the 
trouble, he telegraphed his boy, saying, 4 4 Apolo¬ 
gize, or I will disinherit you.” Father number 
two wrote an impatient, threatening letter. 
Father number three sent this telegram: 

44 Steady, my boy, steady.” The young man 
read the message with mistv eves. Father un- 

c J t J t/ 


I 


FATHER AND SON 163 

derstood. He had not cast off his son even 
though he had disgraced him. He was “my 
boy” to him still. The hoy’s resolve was made. 
He would go “steady” always after this, and he 
kept his resolution. 

Let every father say, “Steady, my boy, 
steady,” to his reckless, wayward child. But 
no father on earth can win and hold his boys 
and girls unless he has laid a sure foundation 
of obedience, confidence, and respect in early 
childhood. 

“boys and superboys” 

In an illuminating article under the above 
heading, Arthur W. Spalding, former editor of 
the Watchman Magazine, says: 

“Being a boy, I have a word to say to fathers. I know 
I am a boy, because a snow fort arouses in me an eager spirit 
of combat; because, while I care not a snap for league ball, 
a game of scrub in a vacant lot draws me like a magnet; and 
because, though I long ago eschewed the art of killing, a 
bamboo rod or the irresistible grace of the curve in a gun- 
stock sets my pulses throbbing. Not that every boy has to 
love those things; not that I am teaching my boys to love 
them; but through my juvenile experience, they give some 
subtle suggestion of the things a boy does love. 

“And this is the word, fuller of meaning, that I have to 
give to fathers, the word that mothers usually give to their 
boys when the youngsters start out to the swimming pool 
or the picnic or some other good place: ‘Be a good boy/ 
Because, fathers, you can, you know. You have the choice 
either of being that, or of being a sedate statue of unap¬ 
proachable propriety, or — worse still — a grumpy old 
chump. 

“It is a good thing to keep young; and youth, the doctor 
tells us, is not so much a matter of years as of arteries. . . . 

“Be a boy with boys; limber up in a game of pull away 
or in the standing jump. To your boy be the superboy who 


THE REAL HOME 


164 

will teach the right way to shin up a tree; to part his hair 
in a dive; to whittle out and rig a boat; to make a collection 
of curios from stones; to land tortoises; or to do any of the 
hundred and one things you knew how to do when a boy. 
It won’t hurt your dignity nor lessen your authority; in 
fact, I believe it is only the father who is a real companion 
to his children who can afford to be stern on demand. The 
sternness of a companionable father commands respect and 
compels obedience without the dread and aversion that greet 
the despot. 

“More than that, the father who lives with his children 
as a leader and a teacher of the things they like to do, gets 
love as the motive of obedience, and finds them much more 
ready to follow him in the things he likes to have them do. 
Most important of all, he retains the confidence of his boys, 
which every father of youth knows he most sorely wants 
as his boy approaches and progresses in manhood. It is 
chieflv for the maintenance of that confidence that I believe 
in remaining a boy. So, despite its inconvenience, I take 
it as a compliment when I hear one of my boys saying, ‘Aw, 
we can’t play if papa doesn’t play!’ And tired though I 
may be at the end of a day’s toil, there is no entertainment 
so entrancing, no book so fascinating, no music so restful, 
as to hear my sons and daughters tell over to me, as we lie 
on the grass in the dusk, the record of the day’s doings; 
because I know that this is the earnest of a future confidence 
I shall need and prize more highly than all other graces 
except the mercy of God. . . . 

“It goes without saying that a boy likes adventure. 
Whether it comes in climbing the tallest tree, or venturing 
into the dark recesses of the cave, or sleeping outdoors like 
a real scout, he is constantly urged to what he regards as 
deeds of hazard. It is the impulsion of growing body and 
mind and soul; and if it go in the forbidden paths of the 
youthful gangster,— orchard robbing, street prowlings at 
night, racing and gaming, all superficial adventures,— it is 
only because there is no pilot of life to guide it aright. Sur¬ 
prise bulks large in the joy of life; and surprise can be had 
only through adventure. 

“The father who is a superboy will make some time — 
not so much as he will wish — to go with his sons through 


FATHER AND SON 


165 


woods and swamps and over liills. What wonders there are 
to find in hidden homes of birds and squirrels and ground 
hogs and muskrats and foxes! What wonderful views from 
mountain heights! What skill to be developed with reins 
and paddle and camera! A holiday now and then means 
the infinite chance of satisfying and directing the boy’s love 
of adventure. 

“One thing the boy likes is noise. I don’t — unless I am 
making it myself. But since I have at least one boy and 
two daughters who like noise, I have discovered that the 
wisest plan is to join the crowd for a while, and be a partner 
in the noise making. Then I can get cooperation in the 
making of quiet for a time, studying the birds, or hoeing in 
the garden, or reading. Few evenings in the week are there 
when hide and seek or blindman’s buff is not played. . . . 

“Up over my little-used desk, my children tacked on the 
wall an unusual motto, inspired doubtless by my frequent 
and long absences: ‘What is home without a father V 

“It is a tribute of which any father might be proud. 
For I am glad to know that the love of which that act was 
a faint expression was largely prompted by the fact that 
father is still a boy. Fathers, I want to tell you, It pays 
to be a good boy.” 

At the time when the boy begins to feel that 
he is a man, he needs lessons tactfully taught 
with reference to manliness. True, he becomes 
very particular about his collars and neckties 
and handkerchiefs. One mother tells of having 
forty handkerchiefs to wash for her son in 
one week. 

Now is the time he needs occupation that will 
employ his energies. Something is required to 
strengthen his character building, to develop his 
sense of responsibility. He needs to be kept 
busy so there will not be time for idling and 
harmful associations. If he can work with his 
father, so much the better. 


166 


THE REAL HOME 


“May I have Harry Warren as my partner, father V’ 
asked a boy. “I like him, and he doesn’t have any chance 
at all.” 

“A partner, Robert, did you say? Partner in what?” 

“A partner in my work, and in learning things, and in 
making experiments.” 

“But am 1 to be dropped ?” inquired father. 

“Of course not; you’re the head of the firm. But can't 
you help two boys as well as one ?” 

“But why do you say Harry has no chance ?” 

“Because there isn’t a place in their big house for a boy’s 
workshop. I know, for I went home with Harry last night. 
Honest, father, their house has parlors, library, music room, 
and all. Everything is so very nice, Harry can’t have a 
good time even in his own room, for that’s nice too. He 
took me there to see a bird’s nest and some rocks; but when 
we got there, they were gone. He asked his mother about 
them, and she just laughed and said they couldn’t have such 
rubbish in his pretty room. My, but he looked glum! I 
think they might as well throw him in the street along with 
the stones.” 

“But do you think his parents would be willing he should 
come here?” 

“I know they won’t care. I don’t s’pose they know where 
he goes anyhow. Sometimes he doesn’t see his father for a 
week; his mother goes to parties and clubs. Harry gets 
awfully lonesome, so he goes most anywhere evenings.” 

“Bring him here, Robert.” 

So the partnership began. Robert’s father had studied 
how to keep his boy in partnership with him. He had 
studied nature, machine shops, factories, libraries, and thus 
added to his fund of information. He made experiments, 
and his boy was interested, occupied, delighted. 

Robert and Harry learned to use both brains and hands 
in the workroom. They built boats and bridges, stretched 
telegraph wires and sent messages. 

Suddenly Mr. Warren “came to himself,” and sought 
his boy. A promising young man who had learned to play 
cards in the Warren home became a gambler and shot him¬ 
self. As the news was told to Mr. Warren, he thought of 
his son. Where was he? 


FATHER AND SON 


167 


“Where is our Harry, Margaret ?” he inquired of his wife. 

“Why, really, I don’t know, Dudley. He has been out 
evenings a great deal lately. Perhaps he is with Robert 
King, on Oak Street.” 

“Can you tell me where Harry Warren is?” Mr. Warren 
inquired later, as the door of Mr. King’s residence opened 
in response to his ring. 

Harry heard his father’s voice. “Oh, papa, come here 
and see what we are doing!” he exclaimed. As Mr. Warren 
stood in the door, he saw half-finished boats and cases of 
tools; and the meaning of it all was clear. 

“See, papa! We are printing a paper,” said Harry as 
he pointed to the hand press. “Isn’t this a nice room?” he 
inquired. “I'm Robert’s partner, and we’re learning so 
much. His father helps us. It’s the best place I ever saw. 
I wish all boys had such a chance.” 

Such a room furnishes recreation as well as occupation. 
If boys earn the money to provide its equipment, they will 
prize it all the more.— Selected. 

In the country, boys have privileges not en¬ 
joyed by those in cities. One boy helped his 
father plant some apple trees. “ Beginning next 
month, the borers must be hunted,” said the 
father. 

“How often? How long?” queried the boy. 

“Once a month in summer — for years. I’m 
going to leave it with you to see they do no 
harm. ’ ’ 

The boy dug, cut, and wired out the small 
enemies for years. He found sometimes that 
once a week was necessary. Boys invited him to 
ball games and to go swimming, but he stayed 
by the trees. That was his task. That boy has 
worked patiently at the roots of some other 
things than trees since those days. 



THE REAL HOME 


168 

Organized play and manual training do not 
educate as does plain hard work that must be 
done again and again. Boys and girls who learn 
to do that which they fear or dread, at the right 
time and in the right way, without being told or 
watched, have material of a stouter weave 
blended with the character, which imparts 
strength and reliability. A few words of en¬ 
couragement from father or mother when 
strength is nearly spent will make the partner¬ 
ship between parent and child more complete. 

THE FATHER’S PART 

There comes a time when parents wonder 
what power has gripped their boy. He asserts 
his importance. He is an offense to himself and 
to others. He demands his freedom, he resents 
questioning, his conduct is mysterious. He is 
disagreeable at home, wants no advice from 
mother — or from father either. He imitates 
“the fellows” he chooses as associates. Some 
of his “friends” are not those his real friends 
would select for him. 

The boy has reached the parting of the ways 
between boyhood and manhood. Here is where 
he is most liable to go wrong, and where it is 
hardest to help him. Then comes the time when 
he will turn to his father if that father has been 
true and has kept his heart’s door apen wide to 
his son, watching, waiting for his confidence 
and companionship. A mother may help by her 
influence and her prayers; but just then what 


FATHER AND SON 169 

every boy needs is a wise, clean, tactful, Chris¬ 
tian father. 

The experience of one father may be help¬ 
ful to others: 

A certain lawyer who had previously been so preoccupied 
that he had held his children at arm’s length, found that 
his only son was getting beyond the control of his mother, 
and fearing that if longer deferred, counsel would be too 
late, he resolved to “get acquainted” with his own boy, aged 
fifteen, by taking him as a traveling companion on a busi¬ 
ness trip. He did not treat him as a boy to be watched, 
however, but as he afterward said: “I treated him as an 
honored guest, and I was surprised, as the habitual restraint 
wore off, to find how many good points my own son had and 
how companionable he could be withal. After we had been 
together almost constantly for days, I was surprised to feel 
the years slipping away from me, and to find myself living 
over my half-forgotten boyhood. 

“I had not premeditated reaching the heart of my boy 
by that means, however, but my confidence had that effect. 
After I had told how I once narrowly escaped being led into 
what would have ruined my character, my son, who had 
listened with incredulity as well as relief written on his 
face, said, ‘Oh, dad, Fm so glad you haven’t forgotten how 
boys feel, and what they have to fight against, for now 
you’ll understand!’ 

“Then freely, as if talking to a chum, my boy told of his 
own temptations, and how they had nearly mastered him 
because, feeling that his mother could not see from the view¬ 
point of a boy, he would not confide in her. And judging 
as well that my youth had been faultless, he had naturally 
come to the conclusion that I could have no sympathy with 
his fight against temptation. 

“‘But/ cried my boy, as he looked me full in the face, 
after bringing to view what had been a heartbreak to bear 
alone, ‘I feel as if I can face anything now. But say, why 
didn’t you tell me sooner, dad f For it would have saved 
me more than one falldown if I could have made a clean 
breast of everything, as I will now that I see you’ll under¬ 
stand.’ 


170 


THE REAL HOME 


“That was five years ago,” added the lawyer, with glis¬ 
tening eyes, “and never since that day has the boy given his 
parents an anxious hour; for no matter how pressing have 
been legal duties, I have always taken time to strengthen 
the growing confidence on the part of my son. Conse¬ 
quently, he comes to me fearlessly, knowing that sympathy 
as well as counsel awaits him under all conditions. . . . 

“I should be slow to condemn in others what I was so 
long guilty of myself, but I am firm in the belief that had 
I not won the confidence of my son just in the nick of time, 
he would soon have drifted beyond my influence. Experi¬ 
ence has convinced me that fathers make a grave mistake 
in giving their sons to understand that perfection is ex¬ 
pected of them, or that ‘Like as a father pitieth his children’ 
does not apply to this age .”—“Western Recorder 

The faithful father is the one to impart to 
his son the knowledge concerning his physical 
being. These truths should come from no other 
lips. How jealously father will watch lest im¬ 
pure information be given which will ruin both 
the body and the soul of his child! He will 
warn him of danger; teach him how to overcome 
temptation; encourage noble, manly ideals; and 
watch lest the character be spoiled by self- 
indulgence and sin. 

Pitfalls to character are so artfully concealed, 
temptations are so attractive and numerous and 
persistent, if ever a boy needs help from his 
father on earth and from his Father above, it 
is during this critical, dangerous period of 
his life. 

This is how one father saved his son: 

“Where is Jack?” asked Mr. Rogers, as he came in at 
six o’clock. “He was late to dinner last night, and he’s going 
to be late again to-night ” 


t 


FATE EE AND SON 171 

“I saw him with that Jones girl,” answered his daughter 
Dorothy. “She is a new girl in town, very pretty, but ter¬ 
ribly bold. I’m sure she’s not nice. I do wish Jack wouldn’t 
go with her.” 

It took Mr. Rogers a long time to get out of his overcoat 
and take off his gloves. Generally he was full of boyish 
spirits when the day’s work was done. Now he was very 
quiet, and he looked long and absently out of the window. 

Presently the door opened, and Jack came in. 

“Jack,” said his father, “I want to show you something.” 

Relief and interest showed instantly in the boy’s face. 
The dreaded question was not to be asked, after all. 

Mr. Rogers led the way to his workroom in the attic. 
There were his carpenter bench, and his tools, and his lathe, 
and in the corner was the dynamo that worked it. Jack 
had seen them all many times. 

“What is it, father?” he asked. 

Mr. Rogers laid his hand upon the dynamo. “Jack, by 
means of this, a mysterious power becomes mine. We call 
it electricity, but no one knows what it is. We only know 
that if ice treat it in the right way, it will enable us to do 
wonderful things. It will work our mills, and light our 
houses and our streets, and run our cars. It will enable 
man to do more than any other power that has been dis¬ 
covered. But at the same time, if you treat it in the wrong 
way, it will strike you dead! " 

“Yes, father, I know that,” said Jack. 

His father turned toward him with an earnestness that 
Jack had never before seen in his face. “There is another 
power very like that in its results. There is the mysterious 
feeling that men have for women, and women have for men. 
Treat that right, and it will bless your life and ennoble it, 
and make you ten times — yes, a hundred times — the man 
you could ever be without it. Nothing on earth will do so 
much for you if you treat it right. But treat that feeling 
wrong, and it wiil curse you, and blast your life, and kill 
your soul!” 

For a moment they looked each other square in the eye, 
then together they went downstairs in silence. In the hall 
below, Jack laid his hand on his father’s arm. “I know 
what you mean, father, and I know it’s true!” he whispered. 
— “Youth’s Companion.” 


172 


THE REAL HOME 


ASKING FORGIVENESS OF OUR CHILDREN 

Hjort Valdemir tells of his relations with 
his father as a boy. The father, though devoted 
to the welfare of his family, was impetuous and 
headstrong. There were moments when the 
boy’s resentment at what he believed to be 
despotic authority, came dangerously near to 
hatred. He tells this story: 

“One unforgettable morning, when my father relent¬ 
lessly overthrew my reckless hut long-cherished plans in 
a fit of what seemed to me sheer personal rage, I was driven 
to the wall, so to speak, for I was completely at his mercy. 
His displeasure took the form of stern ridicule as he stood 
before me with heated face and angry eyes, commanding me 
to do an utterly humiliating thing. Again I heard that 
oft-repeated command, ‘Children, obey your parents.’ I 
was hurt to the quick, angry, defiant, and as bitter as a boy 
of twelve could possibly be. At the very highest tension of 
the scene, our good gray-haired servant passed on some in¬ 
dustrious errand, and paused for one solemn moment to 
quote gravely, ‘Parents, provoke not your children to anger, 
lest they be discouraged.’ 

“The light in my father’s eyes leaped into brighter flame, 
it seemed to me, as if he resented his servant’s interference; 
then the flame went out and the angry redness faded from 
his face, as he removed his hat, and said in tones that I shall 
never forget, ‘My son, I beg your forgiveness.’ 

“All the pent-up rage and injustice went from my hot 
heart in an instant. I wondered how I could ever have 
cherished a moment’s irritation against my good, lovable 
father. I was ashamed, sorry, speechless, as I laid my 
trembling hand in the one that guided me so faithfully and 
tenderly to the borderland of manhood. 

“A great many crowded years have gone by since that 
hour, and my father and the good servant have long slept 
in their quiet graves, but that moment still lives in my heart. 
I knew then that there would never again be a shadow be¬ 
tween my father and me, and there never was. Although 


FATHER AND SON 


173 

our wills clashed many times, the friction was always on 
the outside; within there was an unshakable confidence that 
all was well between us.” 

MAKE THE PATHWAY EASY 

The Christian pathway needs to be made 
very plain for young feet. Even older persons 
sometimes stumble because it is so simple. 

A student in a military school was about to be graduated 
with honors; but he broke some rules, and the rebuke re¬ 
ceived from his father made him so angry that he vowed 
he would live at home no longer. 

But he became calmer, regretted his hasty temper, re¬ 
turned to his father, threw his arms about his neck, and 
said: “Father, Fve done a very wicked thing. I'm sorry 
I have abused you so. Can you forgive me?” 

A quick embrace and a father’s kiss removed the sense 
of guilt, and never afterward did the son treat his father 
with disrespect. 

This young man later entered the army and became a 
colonel. He was wounded in battle, gangrene followed, and 
thus his father found him. Life was nearly gone, and he 
was expected soon to die. He rejoiced to see his father, but 
said in a faint voice: “You must do the talking now. I am 
almost gone.” 

The father returned from a short walk with the surgeon, 
and the colonel asked him to sit down by him. 

“Have you been talking to the surgeon?” he inquired. 

“Yes.” * 

“What did he say about me?” 

“He says you must die.” 

“How long does he think I can live?” 

“Not more than four days, and you may go at any 
moment.” 

“Father, you must not let me die now,” he exclaimed. 
“I am afraid to die. I’m not prepared to die. If I must, do 
tell me how. I know you can, for I’ve heard you do it 
for others.” 

This was no time or place for tears. There was work 
to be done, and done at once. There was no hesitation. In- 


TEE REAL HOME 


174 

stantly the Spirit said to the father: “Tell him of the school 
incident. That is what he wants; I have held it in reserve 
for this moment.” 

The father said, “My son, you feel guilty, do you not V 9 

“Yes; that makes me afraid to die.” 

“You want to be forgiven, don’t you?” 

“Yes; can I be?” 

“Certainly.” 

“Can I know it before I die?” 

“Certainly.” 

“Do make this so plain that I can get hold of it,” raising 
his feeble arm and closing the hand as if to grasp it. 

“Do you remember the school incident years ago?” 

“Yes, very distinctly. I was thinking it all over a few 
days ago, as I thought of your coming.” 

“Do you remember how you came back into the house, 
and, throwing your arms around your father’s neck, you 
asked him to forgive you?” 

“Yes.” 

“What did he say to you?” 

“He said, ‘I forgive you with all my heart,’ and 
kissed me.” 

“Did you believe him?” 

“Certainly; I never doubted his word.” 

“Did that take awav your guilt?” 

“Yes.” 

“Were you happy at home again?” 

“Yes; more than ever before.” 

“That is just the thing for you to do now. Tell Jesus 
you are sorry that you have abused Him, and ask Him to 
forgive you, just as simply and sincerely as you did me. 
He says He will forgive; and you must take His word for 
it, just as you did mine.” 

“Why, father, is that the way to become a Christian?” 

“I don't know of any other,” was the reply. 

“That is very simple and plain; I can get hold of that.” 

Very much exhausted by this effort, the colonel turned 
his head upon his pillow to, rest. The father, having done 
his work for the dying son, sank into a chair and gave way 
to tears, expecting soon to close his son’s eyes in death. 
That painful suspense was not to last long. It could not. 


175 


FATHER AND SON 

It did not. A change had taken place. A new life had come 
to that soul. Its first utterance changed the tears to joy. 

“Father, you need not cry any more. I don’t want you 
should. I want you to sing. It’s all right with me now; 
I’m happy; Jesus has forgiven me. I’ve told Him how 
sorry I am that I have abused Him so, and He has for¬ 
given me. I know He has, for He says He will, and I have 
taken His word for it, just as I did yours. I’m not afraid 
to die now; I don’t think I shall. I feel the stirring of a new 
life within me, and with it comes the feeling of new life in 
my blood. I want you to sing that good old hymn we used 
to sing when I was a boy at family prayers: 

“ ‘When I can read my title clear 
To mansions in the skies, 

I’ll bid farewell to every fear, 

And wipe my weeping eyes.’ ” 

Immediately the life current which was rapidly ebbing 
away began to flow back. The pulse, beating at the death 
rate, began to lessen, the eyes to brighten, the countenance 
to glow with new blood, the voice to be natural, the sadness 
of that afternoon to give place to cheerfulness and hope. 
The surgeon, coming in as was his wont every day, to watch 
the rapid progress of the dreaded gangrene, put his fingers 
upon the pulse and said with great surprise: “Colonel, your 
pulse is wonderfully changed; you look better. What has 
happened ?” 

“Father has shown me how to be a Christian,” replied 
the colonel, “and I have done it. I am better; I’m going 
to get well.” 

When the wound was undressed next morning, the whole 
mass of rotten flesh fell to the floor — the gangrene was 
arrested — its work ended. The surgeons, throwing up 
their arms, exclaimed: “Great God! This is a miracle. 
God only could do this!”— Selected. 

The healing of the body in this case accom¬ 
panied the healing of the soul. Father, tell 
your child how to find Jesus as his Saviour 
from sin. Make the story so plain and simple 


THE REAL HOME 


176 

it can be understood. Tell it again and again, 
till each of your flock is prepared for whatever 

may come. 

•/ 

In “The Trail a Boy Travels,’’ the story is 
told of a father who was employed by a railway 
company. One evening his young son went to 
his office thinking he would surprise him. The 
father was in another room. All the employees 
had left the building. 

After waiting some time for his father to 
come out, the boy peered through a crack in the 
door. There stood his father looking on the city 
below; but after a while, he knelt by a chair and 
began to pray. The boy listened. This is what 
he heard: 

“My Father, I want to talk to You awhile before I go 
home to the little mother who is waiting, and the boys who, 
I hope, are with her. It is about the boys that I need advice 
and wisdom. They are getting away from us and the whole¬ 
some habits we have formed. You know all the struggles 
and sins and mistakes of my own life. You know what they 
have cost You, and the price I’ve had to pay for them; but 
when I found You, I found life, with its wonderful blessings. 

“I have hidden nothing from You. You know what 
violence of anger I had to overcome. You know what an 
appetite burned within me. You know what passions tried 
to drive me. You turned the pages of my life like the pages 
of a book — not one thing is hidden from You; and yet 
You are my friend. . . . 

“And now I come to You with our great joy and our 
great sorrow — the children. We love them, I think some¬ 
times even as You have loved us. Our blood runs in their 
veins. They must be our happiness or our despair. In 
them we live or die. For them we pray and toil, and for 
them we would make any sacrifice and suffer any pain. And 


FATHER AND SON 


177 

we would suffer with a great joy, because we love them with 
a great love. 

“Now, Father, this is the problem which I bring to You 
for the little mother and myself: What is it we must do to 
lead the boys back and start them on the King’s highway? 

“What price must we pay for this priceless privilege of 
being a father and a mother ? What sacrifices must we make 
in order to lead them close to You, so that they may learn 
to love You? What ransom must we deliver to the world 
to prove the great love we have for them? Are many com¬ 
forts spoiling the fineness of their natures? Then, Father, 
take from us all that we have, and keep us very poor. 

“If pride is marring them, then, 0 Father, make us 
humble in Your own way. Maybe they have not had sorrow 
enough to make them see the shining light of the way of 
life. Then give them the sorrow necessary to make them 
see. Maybe they must learn the strength which comes from 
the tragic battle for bread. Then, 0 Father mine, give them 
the battle! 

“Maybe they have been sheltered too much. Perhaps 
there may have to be sickness or death in their training 
school for life. They are on the wrong highway. The end 
cannot bring the glory of love which we find in serving 
You. They must be brought back at any cost — not as a 
punishment, but as a blessing. I must have neglected them 
somewhere along the way. Except what they must pay 
themselves, let me pay the price, whatever it may be, for 
my neglect. If the cost must be sickness or accident, let 
me bear it to win them to You. If it must be the shock of 
death, let me bear that too. 

“And death — why should I fear death? Are You not 
within it and around it and beyond it, to walk with me all 
the way ? Did not Jesus lay down His life for His friends 
and His enemies ? And shall I not lay down my life gladly, 
too, for my own boys? My Father, You know my heart. 
I love You. You know that I love You. If necessary, grant 
to me this privilege, my Father, to lay down my life for 
my sons. My life is such a little thing for me to give, if 
through it the boys shall find that to serve You is the highest 
happiness and greatest joy.” 


12 


178 


TEE REAL ROME 


Tlie boy listened no longer. He slipped 
through the door and ran home. He tells the 
way that prayer was answered, thus: 

“Early that night, I coaxed Harry to go to bed. When 
we were alone, I told him all that I had seen and heard, and 
how father had prayed that God might let him give his life 
for us, as Jesus had done for the world. Harry was two 
years younger than I. He threw his arms around me and 
sobbed. We talked it all over for a long time, then we knelt 
by the bed and prayed. We talked to God as father had, 
and told Him we would make any sacrifice, and go with Him 
anj-where He would show us, and that we wanted to grow 
to make our father and mother as proud of us as we were 
of them. And now we have learned what a wonderful thing 
it was that father offered to do for us — to lay down his life 
for his sons/’ 

When men travail in prayer for their chil¬ 
dren like that, there will he answers of peace. 

It .will not be difficult for a child with a 
sympathetic, friendly father to understand that 
“like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord 
pitieth them that fear Him .’ 7 The father him¬ 
self, sensing his own need of divine compassion, 
will not starve the hearts of his hungry children. 

WHAT SORT OF FATHER ARE YOU? 

What sort of father are you to your boy? 

Do you know if your standing is good? 

Do you ever take stock of yourself and check up 
Your accounts with your boy as you should? 

Do you ever reflect on your conduct with him? 

Are you all that a father should be? 


FATHER AND SON 179 

Do you send him away when you’re anxious to read, 
Or let him climb onto your knee? 

Have you time to bestow on the boy when he comes 
With his questions — to tell him the truth? 

Or do you neglect him, and leave him alone 
To work out the problems of youth? 

Do you ever go walking with him, hand in hand? 

Do you plan little outings for him? 

Does he ever look forward to romping with you? 

Or are you eternally grim? 

Come, father, reflect! Does he know you to-day ? 

And do you know him as you should? 

Is gold so important to you that you leave 
It to chance that your boy will be good? 

Take stock of yourself, and consider the lad; 

Your time and your thoughts are his due. 

How would you answer your God, should He ask, 
“What sort of father are you?” 

— American Youth. 


Chapter Twelve 


TWENTIETH-CENTURY MOTHERHOOD 


“The mother, in her office, holds the key 
Of the soul; and she it is who stamps the coin 
Of character, and makes the being who would be a savage 
But for her gentle cares, a Christian man. 

Then crown her queen of the world.” 



LITTLE boy ran to a neighbor’s house, 


jlX and with moistened eyes and anxious voice, 
inquired: ‘ 1 Do you know where my mamma is ? 
When I came from school, she was not at home.” 

A little girl, walking disconsolately on the 
street, met a friend. “Have you seen my 
mother?” she questioned. 

A tiny tot, in charge of sister, pressed his 
face against the window and peered out into the 
empty street. “Why can’t mamma come?” he 
moaned. 

“Where’s mother?” shouted a burly boy, as 
he dashed through the house. “Has she mended 
my coat yet?” 

“Where can mother be?” queries the girl 
waiting for her blouse to be buttoned. 

“Where’s your mother, children?” inquires 
the man of the house, as he comes from work 
and looks about the empty rooms. 

“If only mother were here!” sighs the af¬ 
flicted one, racked with pain; “oh, how much 
I need my mother!” 

“Mother! mother!” moans the wounded sol¬ 
dier on the battlefield. More than for any 


( 180 ) 


TWENTIETH-CENTURY MOTHERHOOD 181 

other, the heart yearns for mother when alone 
or in distress. 

Everybody calls for mother. She is in con¬ 
stant demand. None other is so missed, so 
surely wanted, if she is not within reach every 
moment of the day. Then is she not the most 
important, the busiest, the most needful person 
in the world? 

“Burdened with a lonely task, 

One day, we may vainly ask 
For the comfort of her face, 

For the rest of her embrace. 

Let us love her while we may; 

Well for us that we can say, 

Where’s mother V” 

In no other relation of human life is there 
love like a true mother’s. There may be many 
friends, but onty one mother. Her love is born 
in sacrifice. It is a living, a continuous sacri¬ 
fice, one that is never consumed. In the true 
mother heart it exists from the time she hears 
the first baby cry until she draws her last breath. 

Hers is a heroic, unchanging, unselfish, un¬ 
asking, ministering love, most like that which 
brought the Saviour of men to live and die for 
us, of any that we know. S. D. Gordon has well 
said that “ sacrifice is the low undertone to all 
the music of a mother’s life, for months before 
the birth time, and then the long years after.” 

Mother lives not to please herself, but others. 
She exalts not herself, but others. She works 
like a slave, not for herself, but for others. She 


THE REAL HOME 


182 

denies herself comforts, luxuries, that her chil¬ 
dren may have them. Her best plans are made 
for them. When they suffer, she suffers more. 
When they are in disgrace, the deepest wound 
pierces her heart. If they are honored, her soul 
sings for joy. Their love is all the reward she 
seeks, and she gives back with usury more than 
she ever receives. This accounts for the univer¬ 
sal cry, c 6 Mother, mother; give me my mother! ’ ’ 
Hers is a martyr’s life, welcomed, accepted from 
choice, and in which she glories. Crown her 
with the most dazzling crown given to mortals. 
4 ‘Cursed be he that settetli light by his . . . 
mother.” Deuteronomy 27:16. 

MOTHERS OF GREAT MEN 

History is not silent concerning the influence 
of mothers of renowned men. Moses’ mother 
was in reality the emancipator of Israel. Her 
faith saved the bov from death; her God- 
imparted wisdom led her to train him so that 
when he left his home at twelve years of age, he 
was able to choose between the pleasures of sin 
and a heavenly crown. 

Samuel’s mother so impressed him with the 
thought that he was God’s child that he grew 
from beautiful boyhood to become a holy 
prophet, an upright ruler. The mother took 
him “a little coat” each year. Surelv it was a 
modest, comely garment; for she had too much 
sense to treat her boy as though he were a doll 
or a plaything. That little coat teaches a lesson, 


TWENTIETH-CENTURY MOTHERHOOD 183 

for not only does the mother clothe the body of 
her child, but she forms his habits,— clothes the 
soul for glory and immortality or for degrada¬ 
tion and death. The coat of character is never 
outgrown. It never wears out. She fashions 
the garment like Samuel’s,— thread by thread, 
stitch by stitch. Hannah’s unconscious influ¬ 
ence, her daily words and acts, made Samuel a 
man of God. 

The roll call of men and women who became 
the noblest and best of earth through the influ¬ 
ence of their mothers is too long to receive notice 
here. Surely the twentieth century,— the great¬ 
est in progress and invention of which we 
know,— should not fall behind in its standard 
of motherhood. 

In many humble homes ‘ 4 little coats ’ ’ of char¬ 
acter are now being woven which will make their 
wearers the precious of earth in times of test 
and ' trial. Examples of faithful, unselfish 
motherhood are not lacking in our century. 
Abraham Lincoln’s mother in the log cabin in 
Kentucky, gave the bent to the character of that 
President who is now universally honored. 
President Garfield was never more manly than 
when he stooped to kiss his dear old mother 
before the multitudes assembled at his inaugu¬ 
ration. 

THE MOTHER AS HOMEMAKER 

The mother is the presiding genius of the 
home. This is why her place is there. The 
home is her kingdom, where she is the queen. 






TEE REAL HOME 


184 

She “plays the accompaniment” in the song of 
life for every member of the family. How sadly 
she is missed if her accompaniment is silent be¬ 
cause of illness, unfitness, or death! The music 
is sad or sweet or glad as she marks the measure. 

This high calling means for the mother all 
that is best in womanhood. No other place is 
so important for her to fill. To no one else can 
her task he given. 

“Do you do any literary work?” asked a 
neighbor of a mother. 

“Yes,” she replied, “I’m writing two books.” 

“What are their titles?” 

“ ‘John’ and ‘Mary,’ ” she answered. “My 
business is to write upon the minds and hearts 
of my children the lessons they will never 
forget. ’ ’ 

No public or social duties may rightfully de¬ 
prive children of their mother or rob her of her 
most sacred mission. 

Does the mother see, as she looks into the tiny 
face of her infant, a hundred things nobody else 
sees? Does she wonder what baby will be, how 
he will look, when he is twenty? 

When the child is only a month old, habits 
have begun to grip him. Soon he will learn the 
language the mother teaches him. It will not 
be long till he is in school; he will go to church 
and be taught as she chooses for him. 

With a love that would fight for him, die for 
him, every true mother must feel it is a daring 
thing to assume the responsibility of giving life. 


TWENTIETH-CENTURY MOTHERHOOD 185 

Once we were all the age your baby is to-day. 
We were made into the characters we now pos¬ 
sess. Would we have had our mothers deal 
differently with us % What lessons may be 
learned from their experience with reference 
to fashioning this little life? 

To be a mother is a vocation, not a pastime. 
To give love is not enough. The mother’s out¬ 
look must be widened, visioning what the child 
may become through wise training and the grace 
of God. She should bring spiritual insight to 
her task, joy in the child’s growth and develop¬ 
ment, and true, sympathetic companionship. 
She should hear the divine command, “Take this 
child away, and nurse it for Me, and I will give 
thee thy wages.” 

THE MOTHERS’ CARES 

Many mothers can see their own experience 
in these lines: 

I’ve climbed the stairs uncounted times; I’ve rocked the baby 
o’er and o’er; 

I’ve arbitrated childish wars until my every nerve is sore; 
I’ve put on sweaters, buttoned coats, and fought with rub¬ 
bers ’most too small, 

Until in weariness I cry, “I’d really like to end it all!” 

Then Baby-Love holds out her arms, and laughs aloud in 
infant glee; 

And Four-Year-Old comes crowding close, his golden head 
laid on my knee; 

Dear Daughter strokes my throbbing brow, and whispers, 
“Mother, I love you;” 

While oldest Son, engrossed with tools, calls, “Mother, see 
what I can do!” 


i 


186 THE REAL HOME 

? Tis then, dear Lord, with tear-filled eyes, the outline of Your 
plan I see; 

And prayers sincere for strength to do, rise from the very 
heart of me. 

With love enough, the greatest task will never bring the 
wish to shirk. 

This now my plea, most gracious God: ‘‘Oh, make me worthy 
of my work !” 

— Laura Guyol Wolfe. 

Watch that mother bending over her sick 
child. How* soft her tones! There is love in 
every word. Where did she get such soothing 
sentences ? — Out of the deep well of love in her 
heart. If the child shows any indication of re- 
lief, see the joy in her face. Again, the lips are 
dipped in the deep well, and fresh words of 
cheer are spoken. Doctors and nurses do much, 
but mother-love giyes the finishing touch in 
restoration. 

A mother was lamenting because she could 
not afford a birthday party for her older 
daughter. She was interrupted by a younger 
child, who exclaimed: “Mother, Lottie Pritch¬ 
ard’s here. May we have a lump of sugar apiece 
in water, and a piece of bread cut in little 
squares, for our party ?” 

“And two pieces of gingerbread,” the mother 
added. 

Marjory danced about the room, then flung 
her arms around mother’s neck, exclaiming, “It 
will be lovely! I think parties are the nicest 
things!” 

Looking down from her window, mother saw 
the little table set with two odd saucers, one 
cracked cup, and one cup without a handle. 



TWENTIETH-CENTURY MOTHERHOOD 187 

Marjory was stirring the sugar for Lottie’s 
“tea,” and her voice rose happily through the 
still air: 

“I’m giving you the cracked cup ’cause it 
looks nicer; but vou’ll have to be careful. I 
can’t have an}^ more to play with till Clara 
breaks one the right way. Usually she breaks 
them all to pieces, you know. She doesn’t re¬ 
member about me. But mother says it isn’t 

«/ 

dishes and things; it’s loving that counts, and 
this cup is very full of loving.” 

Lottie took the cracked cup carefully. Her 
small face was full of delight. “That’s why I 
like your house,” she said. “It’s full of 
lovings.” 

The home that is “full of lovings” will be 
the children’s paradise. It is the mother’s task 
to see that the loving spirit reigns, and to keep 
her own heart sunny and sweet. 

PREPARATION FOR MOTHERHOOD 

But mothers will be ready, as they face their 
tasks, to exclaim, “Who is sufficient for these 
things?” They will see that their life in the 
home means success or failure, life or death to 
those they love most. Surely a most careful 
preparation is needed for the exalted task of 
being a mother. 

Edward W. Bok, in Ladies’ Home Journal, 
says: 

“A stream cannot rise higher than its source; and the 
source of human life is in the mothers, just as truly spirit¬ 
ually as physically. All our present efforts toward reform 


188 


THE REAL HOME 


are noble and necessary, but they work from the surface 
downward. The root of the whole matter is in the souls of 
the mothers of our people. Is it not a big question then: 
What is your son really thinking about you ? 

“The chances are that you will evade it by saying: ‘Well, 
I am doing the best I can to teach him to do right. Fve told 
him to do this, and I’ve punished him for doing that; and if 
he doesn’t do as I tried to have him — why, I don’t see how I 
am to blame. It’s a pretty hard thing to bring up a boy to 
do just what you think he ought to do.’ 

“Indeed it is: the very hardest thing in the world! Be¬ 
cause it means not bringing him up to a certain standard, 
but bringing yourself up to that high level. You think that 
‘telling’ and ‘punishing’ and ‘doing’ and ‘wishing’ should 
bring the result you desire. But there is one thing greater 
than all these put together. It should be inscribed on the 
soul of every mother. It is the supreme achievement. It is: 
Being! Mightier than all the words of counsel ever spoken, 
nobler than all the deeds ever done, more compelling than 
all the punishments ever inflicted, is it, to be what you would 
teach others to be. 

“Do you dream for one moment that your boy does not 
see for himself what you are, while he is listening to your 
spoken words or smarting under your punishments? Who 
has not seen that appraising look even in a little child’s eyes ? 
One often sees it when they are taking the measure of people 
less familiar to them; it is natural then. But it is unnatural 
and has a sad significance when it replaces the unquestion¬ 
ing trust with which a child should regard his mother. As 
I said, if you give a boy half a chance, he will love and 
reverence his mother. He wants to do it. The instinctive 
craving is there, like all natural instincts. If it is gratified, 
he accepts it as he accepts food or a response to any cry of 
his nature. But if it is not met, there is an abiding hunger, 
a hunger of his spirit, more disastrous in its results than 
mere physical hunger.” 

No mother can discipline a child properly 
until she disciplines herself. But here is the 
most difficult problem, for the Ethiopian cannot 


TWENTIETH-CENTURY MOTHERHOOD 189 

change his skin, nor the leopard his spots. We 
who are accustomed to do evil cannot, of our¬ 
selves, do good nor he good. 

There is only one way of escape from our 
sinful nature. He who knows the mother’s 
desire to train her child aright says: “A new 
heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will 
I put within you: and I will take away the stony 
heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an 
heart of flesh. And I will put My Spirit within 
you, and cause you to walk in My statutes, and 
ye shall keep My judgments, and do them.” 

Here is a power that will give “new” pur¬ 
poses, that will cause the receiver to “walk” 
right, “keep” right, and “do” right. This 
power is within the reach of every mother, and 
may be had by asking and believing that “He 
is faithful that promised.” 

Mother, give yourself to Christ, then you can 
lead your child to Him. Show that His power 
keeps you patient, loving, obedient, and almost 
unconsciously the child will follow your ex¬ 
ample. Try it. 

I do not think that I could bear 
My daily weight of woman’s care 
If it were not for this: 

That Jesus seemeth always near, 

Unseen, but whispering in my ear 
Some tender word of love and cheer 
To fill my soul with bliss. 

There are so many trivial cares 
That no one knows and no one shares, 

Too small for me to tell; 


190 THE BEAL HOME 

Things e’en my husband cannot see, 

Nor his dear love uplift from me,— 

Each hour’s unnamed perplexity, 

That mothers know so well. 

• • • • • 

These secret things, however small, 

Are known to Jesus, each and all; 

And this thought brings me peace. 

I do not need to say one word; 

He knows what thought my heart hath stirred, 
And by divine caress, my Lord 
Makes all its throbbings cease. 

— Anonymous. 

THE HOME ATMOSPHERE 

The mother creates in the home that inde¬ 
finable thing we call atmosphere. It cannot be 
seen or handled, but it is plainly felt. 

Enter one home and there seems a chill, a 
reserve, a stiffness in everything. One feels like 
leaving as soon as possible. In another there is 
a sense of cheer, of friendliness, of peace which 
draws and holds, that comforts and heartens all 
who enter. The rooms look different. The food 
is eaten with zest. One sleeps in a chamber of 
peace; leave-taking brings regret. The visit is 
repeated at the first opportunity. 

A little girl heard her mother complain of 
the chilliness of the living room one autumn 
morning. The child was playing in the sunshine 
on the floor, but she looked up to say, “Mother, 
why don’t you get into the sun path?” 

Good cheer creates a sunny atmosphere no 
matter how cloudy the day. A sweet temper is 
like a presiding angel in the home; bright faces 


TWENTIETH-CENTURY MOTHERHOOD 191 

are its sunshine. Gratitude for good tilings re¬ 
ceived, a happy way of bearing the crossing 
things, are some of the fruits borne by a heart at 
peace with God. Gloomy moods, tiresome nag¬ 
ging and complaining, drive children away from 
the haunted house where such evil spirits dwell. 

One woman wrote to a mother who was in 
trouble and perplexity: “Don’t give up. Show 
your mettle. Don’t pity yourself. Put self in 
the background, and think of your children’s 
future. Keep your interest in life, and look on 
the bright side for the children’s sake. They 
will repay you a thousandfold when they grow 
older. Live not for the present, but for the 
future. Sing when putting the baby to sleep, 
and sing at your work.” 

An excellent habit this, of singing while at 
work. It brings sunshine and peace to the 
house. Let the children join in. Some people 
begin to sing as soon as they awake in the morn¬ 
ing. Their presence seems a benediction. Teach 
the children to sing, and sing with them. It 
comforts distresses; softens the rebellious heart; 
encourages, strengthens, and ennobles the life 
of the singer. 

Mothers will do much to preserve the joy of 
home if they practice speaking in a low, gentle 
voice. If they command in harsh, uncontrolled 
tones, they will receive answers in the same 
pitch. There is no excuse for whining, shrill, 
high-pitched voices which strive to make them¬ 
selves heard above all other sounds. 


192 


THE REAL HOME 


Children dread censure. Their sensitive 
natures shrink from sharp, stinging words. 
Long-continued scolding, and faultfinding, and 
condemnation, harden the heart, and the child 
thinks, if it dares not say, “I don’t care.” 

Often a wrong may be corrected by giving 
words of praise because a fault was not com¬ 
mitted; thus the child is encouraged to win 
approval by doing the right. 

A much better way to teach children good 
habits than by constantly scolding them, is to 
give them a little praise for every commendable 
act. Some mothers quite overlook the right 
things their children do. Praise the boy when 
he has taken a little extra trouble to make him¬ 
self clean and tidy or to do anything well, in¬ 
stead of flying into a tantrum every time he is 
not up to the mark. Gradually he will look 
forward to that little word of praise and will 
make an effort to look and do his best to earn it. 

“I am almost heartbroken over it,” a mother 
said to her minister. 

4 ‘And what is it you are so grieved over?” 
he inquired. 

“Well, it is about my little Jennie; what she 
said as I was putting her to bed last night.” 

“It must have been something very bad.” 

“Oh, no! nothing of the kind. Jennie is 
naughty sometimes, as most children are, and 
my way has been to scold and sometimes to pun¬ 
ish her. Last night, after I had put her to bed, 
she said, ‘Mamma, have I been a good girl 


TWENTIETH-CENTURY MOTHERHOOD 193 

to-day?’ I replied, ‘Yes, Jennie, you have been 
a good girl to-day.’ A bullet could not have 
gone straigbter to my heart. I had always been 
quick to reprove and to punish; but she had been 
trying hard to please me all day, and I had 
taken no notice of it. She had to ask for the 
commendation I should have been loving enough 
to give without her asking.” 

“Everything else is of less importance for 
children than the color of the home background,” 
says Dorothy Canfield Fisher. “The family can 
live on oatmeal porridge three times a day, the 
children can go with holes in their stockings and 
with uncombed hair, the house can be unswept, 
the beds unmade; the mother can dress in a 
cheap print wrapper — any of the dreadful 
things we usually think of as ‘impossible’ are 
infinitely better for the children’s moral health 
and present and future happiness and useful¬ 
ness than a mother constantly scolding to let off 
the steam of her bad temper, or repressing un¬ 
justly the innocent activities of her children.” 

THE MOTHER HEART 

There are empty arms that ache to hold a 
warm, dimpled body close to the heart; there are 
eyes that moisten when they look on mothers 
caressing their babes; there are those ready to 
exclaim with Rachel, “Give me children, or else 
I die.” There is heart-hunger that cannot be 
satisfied without them. 

A blessing would come to weary, discontented, 
idle women if they would take some homeless 


13 


THE BEAL HOME 


194 

child and give it mother-love and care. If 
children of their own are denied them, there 
are thousands who are stretching little helpless 
hands toward them. 

Lest, through the years, Thy will may never be 
That baby arms around my neck should twine, 

Nor that I "hold myself in fealty 

To soft, rose-petaled fingers curled in mine, 

Nor press a drowsy head down on my breast 
And watch wide, starry eyes close sleepily, 

Nor feel a little, trusting limpness rest 
Within my arms, I ask but this of Thee: 

0 Lord, grant me a mother's heart, that I 
May see the little, wistful child look out 

Through grown-up eyes; wisdom to know the why 
Of strange steps, and fear, and fault, and doubt; 

Hands strong to soothe and give firm comfort to 
All those who touch them seeking aught of me; 

And patient love, which holds each day anew 

Faith in Thy children, Lord, through faith in Thee. 

— Dorothy Anderson. 

In the city of New Orleans stands a monu- 
ment to the memory of “Margaret.” Margaret 
had a mother heart, hut no children. She began 
by dividing her little store with an orphan child. 
She found others needy and homeless, and took 
them in. She was the only mother that many 
children knew. She provided for them, taught 
them, loved them. She followed the promptings 
of an affectionate, unselfish heart, and was a 
blessing to many. 

A visiting nurse found a woman tired of 
idling who wanted to do real work. The nurse 
told her of two orphan war babies who needed 


TWENTIETH-CENTURY MOTHERHOOD 195 

a home. One was Janet, two weeks old, a dear 
little rosebud. The other, Edward, fourteen 
months, was a cross, repulsive child. In a 
month a great change came over the boy. 

“What have you done to him?” the aston¬ 
ished visitor inquired. 

“Oh, I gave him plenty to eat and loved him 
up a bit,” was the smiling answer. 

To be “loved up a bit” is the rightful herit¬ 
age of the child. In the loving lies a blessing 
for the mother heart which need not be missed. 

Two women were talking together. The older 
one exclaimed: “I never can get reconciled to 
your not being married, Mary Armstrong; you 
who always loved children so! No woman 
knows what life is till she is a mother,— and 
you’d have made such a great one. I could cry 
over the waste of it.” 

Mary Armstrong’s gray eyes, wise, deep, and 
tender, studied her friend a moment. 

“But, dear, you don’t have to be married to 
be a mother; if it w 7 ere so, it might be hard. But 
there are never half enough mothers to ‘go 
round’ in the world. Maybe that’s why God 
needs some of us free, so that He can send us 
to lives that need mothers.” 

“Oh, I know — but that isn’t the same!” her 
friend insisted. 

“Two years ago,” Mary Armstrong said, 
slowly, “a little girl of sixteen came to me. She 
had been neglected all her life. Her mother was 
no mother, cared nothing for the child, cared 




196 


TEE REAL HOME 


only for dress and amusement of the cheapest 
kind. Where the child got her little white soul, 
God only knows. But she dreamed always of 
a mother who cared,— who cared about what she 
was and what she did; to whom she could go 
with her problems and girlish battles. She 
looked like a broken flower when she came to 
me. I wish you could see her now — strong and 
eager over life, and so pitiful over other lonely 
girls. She calls me ‘mother’ in her letters.” 

WHERE HE WENT FOR INSPIRATION 

In the history of our country there have been 
three great orations, and they will be found in 
every collection of masterpieces of eloquence. 
The first was by Patrick Henry, at Williams- 
town; the second, by Abraham Lincoln, at Get¬ 
tysburg ; and the third, by Henry W. Grady, at 
New York. 

Shortly before this oration was delivered, 
Mr. Grady spent nearly two weeks with his 
mother at his childhood home. He felt that 
he needed a new experience, that his hold on 
Christian faith was lessening. 

‘ ‘ Mother, ’ ’ he said as he took her in his great, 
strong arms and kissed her, “I have come home 
to spend a week all alone with you. This time 
I have not come merely to kiss you how-de-do 
and good-by and go again, but to stay with you 
a bit. I want to go back to the old days and be 
your boy again, and have you treat me as if I 
were a little fellow once more.” 



TWENTIETH-CENTURY MOTHERHOOD 197 

The wise little mother asked no question of 
the big son upon whom his country has lavished 
honor and fame, but merely said, “All right, 
* dear.” 

“And I mean just what I say, mother,” per¬ 
sisted the son. “I want you to be my ‘mother 
dear/ just as you used to be. I want you to 
make me the little cakes on the back of the stove 
just as you used to, and the turnovers in the 
oven. I want the dear old gingerbread horses 
with the raisin eyes. Cook me the eggs in the 
ashes, will you, mother?” 

‘ ‘ I certainly will, my son, ’ ’ gladly replied the 
mother, wondering much but asking nothing. 

In the lazy afternoons, after a nap, he would 
throw himself down on the porch floor at his 
mother’s feet, and putting his head in her lap, 
where she could play with his hair and smooth 
his cheek, he would say: “Mother, tell me the 
old stories you used to tell me about Joseph and 
his coat, David and his sling, Daniel and the 
lions, Elijah and the chariot, Elisha and the 
bears, and all those.” And the mother told 
again the stories so dear to every child. 

At other times he would go to the mantel 
and bring the “Bible Book,” and say: “Here, 
mother, read me again the sweet old story that 
you used to read about the little Baby that was 
born in a stable, the angels that sang, and the 
wise men who brought gifts and who followed 
a star; and how He grew to be a man and went 
about doing good and making the world bet- 


198 


THE HEAL HOME 


ter; and liow men killed Him; and how He is 
now up in heaven, and wants your son to be a 
good boy.” 

And the mother would. 

When night came and he had gone up to bed, 
he would call to her, “Come, mother, and tuck 
me in, and hear me say my prayers.” And as 
in the days that had gone, he repeated, “Now 
I lay me down to sleep.” Then, “God bless 
mamma, and make me a good boy. Amen.” 

Thus for nearly two weeks the famous son 
lived his boyhood days over again in the old 
home with his mother. And then he went back 
to his work. 

Mr. Grady received his invitation to speak 
in New Aork when he returned to his office. 
Said the orator afterward: 

“When I found myself upon my feet, every nerve was 
strung as tight as a fiddlestring, and all a-tingling. I knew 
then that God had given me a message for that assemblage. 
As soon as I opened my mouth, it came rushing forth.” 

What induced Henry W. Grady to go back 
to his old home ? — He felt he had lost Christ 
from his heart. He would renew his experi¬ 
ence; would get back the trust and faith of his 
boyhood days. That was why he visited the 
dear old mother who taught him to pray, who 
could teach him again. He went back to his 
mother. He found his God.— Adapted from 
William H. Rid g way. 



TWENTIETH-CENTURY MOTHERHOOD 199 


Mother, how divine your mission, 

Here upon our natal sod! 

Keep, oh, keep the young heart open 
Always to the breath of God! 

All true trophies of the ages 

Are from mother-love impearled; 

For the hand that rocks the cradle 
Is the hand that rules the world. 

“Blessings on the head of mother!” 

Father, sons, and daughters cry; 

And the sacred song is mingled 
With the worship of the sky,— 

Mingles where no tempest darkens, 
Rainbows ever gently curled; 

For the hand that rocks the cradle 
Is the hand that rules the world. 

— Author Unknown . 




Chapter Thirteen 


TACT IN TRAINING 


B LESSED is the mother who has tact; her 
every wish is not expressed as a command. 
Children appreciate being treated as reasonable 
beings. To slap, cuff, shake, and whip continu¬ 
ally, after the fashion of some mothers, does not 
implant a desire to do right, nor correct the 
faults for which punishment is administered. 

Realizing that a stream does not rise higher 
than its source, that her own failings are repro¬ 
duced in her children, the wise mother seeks to 
overcome wrong traits with the least possible 
friction. Certainly faults must be corrected; 
but how? 

Some mothers have tried methods which may 
be helpful to others. 

Children fail in promptness. If Hubert is 
called to rise in the morning, and sleepily turns 
over for another nap, thus causing breakfast 
to be delayed, and is late at school, mother’s 
nerves get frazzled, father is cross. What shall 
be done? 

Hubert may be told that if he fails to rise in 
time, he shall have no breakfast. That will mat¬ 
ter little to him if he can slyly fill his pockets 
with apples and cookies. He thus learns to de¬ 
ceive and to be dishonest. 

Suppose mother says: “Hubert, I fear you 
are not having sleep enough, and father and I 
( 200 ) 


TACT IN TRAINING 


201 

think you should have an hour more. We have 
therefore decided that your bedtime shall he 
half past seven instead of half past eight. ’ ’ 

“But, mother, that is Melvin’s bedtime. I 
don’t think I ought to sleep as long as he; 
do you?” 

“I didn’t think so, until I found you need 
more; so to-night you may go to bed at half 
past seven.” 

But Hubert, though ready for breakfast the 
next morning, has a happy thought while in 
school. He will invite Walter to visit him that 
evening; then he need not go to bed early. 

Walter comes. But at seven-twenty, mother 
tells the visitor that Hubert must have plenty of 
sleep, so his bedtime is seven-thirty; therefore 
Walter will excuse Hubert, and come again 
when he can stay longer. The guest departs, 
and Hubert goes to bed. 

After several days of promptness, Hubert 
asks that the old-time hour for retiring be re¬ 
sumed, and is told that if he can be at breakfast 
each morning on time, certainly that will show 
he needs less sleep. This method works better 
than severe punishment. 

Melvin is a different problem. He rises when 
called, but becomes absorbed in other things; so 
it may be nine o’clock before he comes down¬ 
stairs. Mother has threatened and scolded in 
vain. Now she tries another plan. 

She decides that the child may play if he 
chooses; but if he is late, there will be no break- 


THE REAL HOME 


202 

fast in sight. All requests for food are denied; 
and when the dinner hour arrives, Melvin has 
learned his lesson. He is in time for breakfast 
next morning. He has learned that if he is to 
have food, he must eat with the family at the 
proper time. 

One mother found that her little daughter 
was lazy. Elizabeth was very young, but her 
task was to set the table for meals. One morn¬ 
ing mother found her playing and the table* 
untouched. 

“Where’s my little maid?” she asked. “It’s 
nearly breakfast time.” 

“She’s quit,” Elizabeth replied. 

“What do you mean, Elizabeth?” 

“I’m through being maid to you, mamma.” 

“Haven’t we heard papa say, ‘If any would 
not work, neither should he eat’? I must find 
another job for you,” mother said quietly, and 
set the table herself. 

“You needn’t — I’m a bird. I’m not going 
to work.” 

“Ah, but the birds work, building their 
nests, and—” 

“That’s exactly what I’m doing. Do birds 
cackle when they lay?” 

At breakfast time, when Elizabeth would 
have climbed to her seat, mother explained that 
if she was a bird, she must be caged; so she ate 
her breakfast in a corner of the room, penned 
in by chairs. She was kept in that cage for an 
hour or more, with only her “nest building,” 


TACT IN TRAINING 


203 


until it became very monotonous, and she de¬ 
cided she would much rather be a maid and do 
her work than stay there any longer. 

A little lad only two } r ears old had for his 
work to place papa’s slippers in the closet each 
morning. He usually did his task willingly, 
joyously. 

One morning, when he delayed, his mother 
suggested it was time to put away the slippers; 
but Buddie was indifferent. Again his attention 
was called to his task, but there was no response. 
As mother had told him what to do, she felt that 
she must be obeyed, and she carefully explained 
to the child what she wished him to do. 

He picked up the slippers and took a few 
steps, then threw them down in anger. His 
mother left the room, and told him he might 
come out as soon as he put the slippers away. 

He spent a full hour crying and picking up 
the shoes, only to throw them down again. At 
last the little feet moved slowly across the floor. 
After two or three trips to the closet, Buddie 
paused before the door. Mother opened it, and 
found him smiling, with his task finished. 

Two boys concluded to go on a strike. They 
did not wish to do chores or shovel walks. Fa¬ 
ther was away. It was a favorable time to 
strike. They posted this placard on the kitchen 
door: “A strike is on. No more chores for boys. 
Phil and Harold.” 

When the strikers returned from school at 
noon, there was nobody at home. No dinner was 


204 


THE REAL HOME 


ready. They ate a cold lunch, and for supper 
devoured what was left. Their bed was unmade. 
No dishes were washed. There was no fire in 
the kitchen. For three quarters of an hour they 
toiled the next morning to get breakfast, and 
when it was ready, nothing was to their liking. 

“How long do strikes last?” inquired Phil. 

“This has lasted long enough for me,” re¬ 
plied Harold. 

“Me, too. It hasn’t worked well at all.” 

They shoveled paths, split kindling, and pre¬ 
pared another placard: “Strike’s oft. Phil 
and Harold.” 

At noon an appetizing meal was in prepara¬ 
tion. Mother sat at dinner with them, as pleas¬ 
ant as though nothing had happened. 

“We didn’t calculate on your striking, too,” 
said Phil. 

“But it was a good time, when there were no 
boys to do their share in homemaking,” replied 
mother. 

It may be that the child who insists upon 
spoiling his clean clothes by playing with an oily 
lump of putty and is put to bed for disobedience, 
should have an apron and a chunk of modeling 
clay, and be taught how to shape different 
objects. 

It may be that the little girl who whines and 
frets does not so much need to “be brought up 
with a round turn and made to mind,” as to 
have some change in her diet. 


TACT IN TRAINING 


205 


If Lola complains about the cold, mother may 
give a brief description of the Eskimo in his 
frozen home. Paul listens while the story is 
told, and is pleased, for he has learned in school 
about the queer little dwellers of the North. He 
finishes mother’s story while she takes up break¬ 
fast. By this time Lola is glad she is at home 
instead of in the frigid zone. More has been 
accomplished than if she had been scolded or 
told of her duty to be contented and happy. 

God of the heart and hand, 

Help me to understand. 

I know so little of the thought that lies 
Back of the shining of those childish eyes! 

I guess so little of the wonder there 
Under the curling of the sunny hair! 

It is so very, very long ago 

Since I, too, knew the things that children know! 

Yet hast Thou given them to lead. 

Out of Thy wisdom, grant me all I need,— 

Patience of purpose, faith, and tenderness, 

Trusting Thy perfect love to lead and bless. 

Help me remember — ah, for this I pray: 

Make me again the child of yesterday. 

God of the heart and hand, 

Help me to understand. 

— Marion B. Craig. 

The mischievous child is not worse than 
others, though more troublesome. Mischief may 
be avoided by furnishing occupation. The baby 
may have a box filled with harmless, bright- 
colored objects. One mother often seated her 
baby in a warm, sheltered spot, then gave him 
such a box, and it would keep him occupied a 


206 


THE REAL HOME 


long time. First one object, then another, 
claimed attention, and baby was busy and happy. 

Do not give a small child all its toys at 
once. When it tires of some, others may be 
provided. 

As the child grows older, it is more easily 
interested. Crayons with which to color pic¬ 
tures, sewing cards, blunt scissors with which 
to cut pictures from old magazines, beads to 
string, beans, blocks, and picture books interest 
and employ the child. A small piece of dough, 
given when mother is baking, affords much en¬ 
joyment. A sand pile where the little folks 
may play under mother’s direction is a never- 
ending joy. 

At first there should be free handling of the 
sand (guarding always against the dangerous 
sport of throwing it at another child) ; then 
simple forms may be molded with damp sand, 
and impressions made on the surface of the sand 
with blocks or other objects. Figures may be 
drawn with the finger or a stick on the smooth 
sand. Later on, it may be suggested that the 
child build a house with blocks, and lay out 
grounds in the sand about it. Twigs make ex¬ 
cellent trees. Tiny sprigs help to make the 
garden. The flower beds may be bordered with 
shells. A small pan of water sunk in the sand 
will serve as a lake. 

Clay can be modeled into people and animals. 
Modeline, plasticine, potter’s clay,— something 



TACT IN TRAINING 


207 

of this character which the child can mold into 
different shapes, gives great pleasure to children. 

Here is a recipe for modeling material which 
can be made at home. It is highly recommended 
by one mother. 

Four tablespoonfuls salt 
Four tablespoonfuls water 
Two tablespoonfuls white flour 

Mix and heat together in a saucepan, stirring 
all the time. When thick, let it cool, and it will 
be ready for use. 

Birds, rabbits, kittens, eggs, fruits, and other 
objects can be made from this material, even 
by those without experience. 

Every unspoiled child loves to dig in the dirt. 
If nothing better can be afforded, they can at 
least have a box or flowerpot in which seeds can 
be planted, and they can watch the growth of 
plants, and gain a sense of responsibility in car¬ 
ing for them. 

The story is told of two little girls, children 
of wealthy parents, who were loaded with gifts 
at Christmas. A woman noticed a flowerpot not 
in use, and she gave the children some nastur¬ 
tium and morning-glory seeds, told them how to 
plant them, and to place the flowerpot in a sunny 
window, keep the soil moist, and watch for what 
would happen. She says: 

“Several weeks later I visited their home again. The 
children ran to meet me, exclaiming, ‘We know now! 
They’ve grown up!’ 


208 


THE REAL HOME 


“The mother told me that- of all the gifts they ever re¬ 
ceived, she had never known any that gave them so much 
pleasure; for although there had always been a garden on 
their grounds, the thought had never occurred to her that 
they would be in the least interested in gardening. The 
children had carefully followed my directions, she said; 
and when the plants appeared above the ground, they were 
delighted. She added, ‘I realized then how deficient my 
training had been.’ ” 

Many little girls dislike sewing. Tears will 
come when the thread knots and breaks and the 
needle squeaks. The stitches are long, and there 
is general discouragement. Yet, little girls, and 
little boys too, should learn to sew. 

Try forming a “Stitch Club” of children at 
home. Let several from the neighborhood join. 
Conditions of membership may be that the 
sewing each day at home be done so neatly that 
it will pass inspection. If there is some older 
girl who can teach and take charge of the work, 
so much the better. 

The “club” might have a meeting for an hour 
once a week, when the members would sew for 
some charitable object. There may be simple 
games; a story read or told while they sev r ; pos¬ 
sibly fruit, lemonade, or other simple refresh¬ 
ment served. This plan has been known to 
stimulate tearful, discouraged little seamstresses, 
and has proved an incentive to diligence and 
neatness. 

“mamma, please tell me a story” 

What mother has not heard this request many 
times? The child’s world is one of imagination. 


TACT IN TRAINING 


209 


If a story is told, every detail is a reality. Les¬ 
sons may be taught, and wrong habits corrected, 
by the telling of stories; therefore every one who 
has children to teach or to control should study 
the art of story-telling. 

A teacher not in sympathy with the story- 
loving boy who was assisting her in removing 
cobwebs in the schoolroom, lost an opportunity. 
As they worked, the boy said: 

“Spider webs are very beautiful, aren’t they, 
Miss Andrews?” 

“Hold the pan higher.” 

“All spiders aren’t bad spiders; some spiders 
are good spiders, aren’t they, Miss Andrews?” 

“Watch what you are doing.” 

‘ ‘ I know a story about a spider. Miss Holmes 
told a story to her class about Robert Bruce and 
the spider—” 

“When?” severely. 

The child hung his head. 

“If you loiter at her door again, I’ll keep 
you in.” 

A sullen look appeared on the boy’s face, and 
the work continued in silence. 

“We think that Miss Roberts is the best of 
all our teachers,” said one little girl. “When 
anything goes wrong in her class, she just tells 
a story; and when she is done, every one wants 
to do just what they should. The other teachers 
send the boys to the office when they do any¬ 
thing naughty; and when they come back, 


14 



210 


TEE REAL HOME 


they’re just as bad as ever. It doesn't change 
them a bit.” 

Bible stories are best of all. It is said there 
are fifty-three stories in Genesis, and six chap¬ 
ters of stories in Daniel. The books of Samuel 
and Kings are a veritable story mine. 

It will be well for the mother to give time and 
thought in choosing the best stories for her chil¬ 
dren — stories that will influence them for good 
instead of evil. 

If mother is wise, she will inform herself so 
she can help and encourage the older children in 
their studies. A story told by Lucile Lovell is 
to the point: 

“Bess closed the encyclopedia with a bang. ‘Bother!’ 
she said, in such a loud whisper that Barton looked up from 
his algebra, and mother, who was sewing at the window, 
laid down her work. 

“ ‘What is it, Bess V 

‘“It’s this dreadful lesson, mother. I’ve got to write 
something interesting about a man, and there’s nothing in¬ 
teresting about him.’ 

“‘What man?’ demanded Barton. 

“‘Sydney Smith.’ 

“‘The encyclopedia must tell something about him,’ 
Barton persisted. 

“ ‘That he was born in 1771, and died in 1845,’ pouted 
Bess. ‘He was an English clergyman and humorist. That 
means, of course, that he w r as funny; but how am I to know ? 
That book doesn’t tell a single thing he ever said.’ 

“‘He was something more than funny,’ said mother. 
‘He was such a dear, delightful father that his children — 
Saba and Douglas — adored him, as their mother did, too. 
I know a little story about him that shows how well his 
children loved him, and why.’ 

“ ‘Truly ?’ questioned Bess. 



TACT IN TRAINING 


211 


“ ‘Truly!’ said mother, smiling. ‘Once when he was 
away from home, poor little Douglas was lying on the sofa 
very ill, while Saba and their mother were at the table. 
Mrs. Smith could not eat, and pretty soon she said: 

““‘Well, dear little Chuffy,”—that was his father’s 
name for Douglas,—“I don’t see what is the matter with us 
both, but we seem very good for nothing.” 

“ ‘ “Why, mamma,” said Saba, “I’ll tell you what the 
matter is: You and Chuffy are sick and unhappy because 
father is away; he is so merry that he makes us all gay. 
Our family doesn’t prosper, you see, without a father.” ’ 

“ ‘That’s lovely! You’ve made that great man seem just 
like anybody’s father. I wish mothers wrote encyclopedias,’ 
said Bess fondly.” 

Some mothers allow home cares to rob them 
of joy, vitality, and interest in study or recrea¬ 
tion. Their lives are an unceasing round of 
duties, till work becomes a burden. 

WHAT IS THE REMEDY ? 

Train the children to share the toil. Every 
member of the family, from father down, may 
have his task. Instead of father’s doing all the 
chores, while the boys play ball, they may each 
have a part for which they are responsible. Let 
play come after work is done. 

One of the girls can help mother by taking 
charge of the dining room, seeing that the table 
is properly laid, while another keeps the rooms 
in order. Still another, if you are blessed with 
that many girls, can assist in the kitchen. An 
exchange of tasks will give experience and 
knowledge to all. 

If the laundry work is shared, each doing her 
part, the girls will not be so disposed to multiply , 

i 


212 


THE BEAL HOME 


I 



it as when mother 
does the whole wash¬ 
ing, and they are left 
to play the piano, pa¬ 
rade the streets in 
their best clothes, go 
calling, or entertain 
visitors. 

Little Helen Ran¬ 
dolph went to call on 
a neighbor. In the 
Randolph home, the 
mother is not a not¬ 
able housekeeper. 

Her husband and chil¬ 
dren assist with the 
work. All of them 
wait on “mummy,” 
and seem to adore her. 

4 ‘ I can stay twenty 
minutes, ’ ’ Helen said; 

‘ 11 then I must hurry 
home and wash dishes, 
sweep, and dust. 

T nil ^ you begin when the little folks are 

Mummy lOOlved SO very young,— when they delight to 

. , . -| “help mamma,”— it will not be so hard 

pretty m her new to interest them later, and they will 

V ^ n . , , , surprise you by their efficiency. 

dress she finished to¬ 
day! Oh, she is the most wonderful mother!” 

“But what makes her so wonderful, Helen?’’ 

“Why, ’cause she just is. She plays and talks 
with us. She reads and explains everything we 
don’t know, as she goes along. If we go to walk, 








TACT IN TRAINING 


213 


she can tell ns all about flowers and animals. 
And she lets me cook. ’ ’ This last statement was 
given with an air of finality. 

“What can you cook, Helen?” was the next 
inquiry. 

“I can cook the vegetables and oatmeal. I 
can make a layer cake, too, and apple pie, all 
by myself; and that’s quite a lot for ’leven 
years old.” 

“Mummy’’ certainly has charms, for not 
many children would boast of their liking for 
work as Helen does, and be willing to do it that 
“mummy” might have time to gain useful in¬ 
formation. 

“But it is ten times easier to do the work my¬ 
self than to have the children mussing about,” 
objects a careful mother. 

It may be; but how can they learn to work if 
you do not teach them? If you begin when the 
little folks are very young,— when they delight 
to “help mamma,”—it will not be so hard to 
interest them later, and they will surprise you 
by their efficiency. 

One mother says: 

“We should be careful not to keep children at work too 
steadily, or too long at a time.- They tire very quickly, and 
work becomes a dread and a drudgery, instead of a delight. 
Then, too, if they know that as soon as they have finished 
with one task, they will be set at another, they are likely 
to shirk their work, and play when they should be working. 
It is well to praise them and show appreciation of their 
efforts, even if they do prove more of a bother than a help. 
For instance, one of my girls is just learning to sweep. I 
show her how to pick up things, how to sweep under the 



THE BEAL HOME 


214 

table and the lounge, and in corners as well. She goes 
around repeating: ‘Tell yon what, we won't leave things 
lying around; well sweep well in corners, and under things/ 
and suits her actions to her words.” 

Another writes: 

“Plan your work so as to work with the children. When 
their plajdime comes, join with them as much as possible. 
You will have time to get outdoors more if you gradually 
change the children’s wardrobe so that white dresses, skirts, 
shoes, and stockings are used only for Sabbath and very 
special occasions. Dress the girls in something they can 
play in and be comfortable. Fold up your sheets and put 
them away without ironing; the underclothing likewise. 
Cut out the rich pies, cakes, and puddings, and serve plenty 
of milk and fresh fruit instead, with some special treat for 
Sabbath. Don't let your mending get ahead of you. Stop 
waiting on the children, and let them wait on you. Have a 
place for their toys and clothes, and insist upon their keep¬ 
ing things in their places. Plan to have your evenings free.” 

HOW THE CHILDREN HELPED 

“I have let my children work for me,” says one mother, 
“from the time they were babies and sat in a high chair be¬ 
side me while I baked pies or mixed bread. Of course they 
bothered me in my work; they teased me for dough; but that 
was the way they learned. And that is where mothers 
generally fail in this respect. They put the children off in 
another room, or send them to play, whereas these little 
ones might be taught right along. 

“My little girls learned to make pies in this way: They 
had little pie tins and tiny mixing bowls, and their pies 
were made in exact imitation of mine. When I made bread, 
they also made little loaves; and their tiny biscuits were as 
cute as could be. When I ironed, they also ironed beside me; 
and their small flatirons were put to good use on ironing 
day. So it was with all my work. They worked along with 
me, and it often was as much pleasure for me as for them, 
and they were always lively company. 

“Among their toys were imitations of my culinary tools; 
also little brooms, tiny tubs, wringers, washboards, and the 


TACT IN TRAINING 215 

like. And the nearer they were like the real article, the 
better the little girls were suited. 

“When I made a pudding, they watched the proceedings; 
when I cooked or canned, they helped do what they could. 
They were a bother many times. When I was in a hurry, 
it took patience to answer their questions and wait on them; 
but it paid in the end, for my girls can do everything in 
the domestic line, and I am proud of them. Many times 
when I am late getting home, or when I am very tired, or 
indisposed, what a comfort it is to know that these little 
girls, not yet in their teens, can get a meal as quickly, as 
neatly, and as cheerfully as the most experienced house¬ 
keeper of forty or fifty!” 

NOT SO STRANGE 

“I don't know what to do about my daughter,” said a 
perplexed mother who had come to a kindly old physician 
for advice. “She seems so listless, does not have any in¬ 
terest in life, and she is so irritable at times! I don’t think 
she has exercise enough, and I want to know what you 
think about sending her to a gymnasium. What would 
you advise ?” 

“How old is she V 9 asked the doctor. 

“Nearly nineteen.” 

“Can she cook?” 

“Oh, no, she knows nothing about cooking!” 

“Can she sweep?” 

“No; my maid does all the sweeping.” 

“Does she take care of her own room and make her 
own bed?” 

“No; I do that. Her room is next to mine, and I’ve 
always attended to that.” 

“Does she have any part whatever in household duties ?” 

“No, I cannot say that she has.” 

“No duties, no responsibilities, no sense of obligation, 
no part in the work to be done ?” 

“Well, no.” 

“Then, madam,” said the doctor frankly, “your daughter 
has no need of a gymnasium. I don’t wonder that she is 
irritable and unhappy.” 

“What would you advise ?” asked the mother weakly. 


216 


THE REAL HOME 


“I should advise you to make her feel that she has a part 
in your home life; that its duties must be borne by all the 
members of the family in common; that she must do her 
part toward contributing to the general comfort of the 
home. A girl of her age with no interest in her home, needs 
more than a gymnasium to make her healthy and happy.'’ 

BE TRUE TO CHILDREN 

• 

Probably one of the most frequent occasions 
of lying to children is when they must take 
medicine, visit a dentist, or endure suffering. 
One girl who needed a tooth extracted, cried, 
kicked, and fought with the dentist until he de¬ 
clared he would not try further. Then a friend 
took the girl in hand. She asked her to act 
sensibly, and have the aching tooth removed. 

“But it will hurt!” 

“Yes, but not as much as you think. If you 
keep still and are brave, it will be over in a 
moment. Will you keep your hands still, or 
shall they be tied down? for the tooth must 
come out.” 

“ I ’ll keep my hands down, honest, I will; but 
please may I take hold of your hands?” she 
asked. 

When the tooth was out, the child declared, 
“Believe me, I’ll never make such a fuss again.” 

“If mothers could only be made to realize,” 
says a trained nurse, in American Motherhood, 
“what a great help discipline is in time of sick¬ 
ness, I’m sure they would be more careful about 
letting their children have their own way all the 
time. In little things, it may seem not to matter 


TACT IN TRAINING 217 

so much; but in many cases, obedience not infre¬ 
quently means life, and disobedience death. 

“The mother who has lost her child’s confi¬ 
dence by saying of a dose of medicine, ‘It will 
not taste bad,’ when she knows the contrary is 
true, will find it hard to regain his confidence; 
for confidence and obedience are not to be estab¬ 
lished after illness begins, but must be the result 
of the- child’s whole training. Aside from all 
the other advantages of good discipline, it is the 
mother’s greatest asset in fighting the dangers 
of disease.” 

Never offer bribes. Teach the child that he 
must do right because it is right, and tell him 
the reason. 

One woman had trained her boy in this way. 
At the age of eight, he had serious trouble with 
one of his ears and was taken to a specialist. 
After examination, the doctor told the mother 
what needed to be done. It would be very pain¬ 
ful, but would give relief. 

When the boy was consulted, he said, “I’ll 
have it done, mother; but please stay where I 
can see you.” 

The doctor seated mother and son, and went 
to work. Whenever the boy raised his eyes, 
he received a smile of encouragement from his 
mother. While in the chair, he was as motion¬ 
less as if strapped there. He never uttered a 
cry. Once the doctor said, “I hurt you pretty 
badly then, didn’t I?” 


218 


THE BEAL HOME 


“A little,” came the answer, in a voice as 
steady as if he had said a cheery 41 Good 
morning. ’ ’ 

After all was over, the doctor said to the boy, 
“Son, I’m proud of you”; and to the mother, 
“Madam, I wish all children could come under 
your training.” 

If mothers will teach their children to bear 
pain bravely, it will mean much to them all 
through life. 

TEMPER AND TANTRUMS 

Much care and patience are needed in dealing 
with a nervous, quick-tempered child. Ill na¬ 
ture is often the result of bodily conditions. 
Neglected adenoids, teeth, eyes, tonsils, and di¬ 
gestive disturbances account for much that is 
called “temper.” 

One quarrelsome little fellow who often be¬ 
came very angry was found not to be “naturally 
ugly,” as had been supposed. When sent to 
kindergarten, his breakfast had consisted of hot 
rolls, coffee, doughnuts, and cookies. His “sour 
stomach” created sourness of disposition. A 
proper diet worked wonders. He was induced 
to buy an orange or an apple for lunch instead 
of a “lollipop” or “candy buttons.” 

A mother had a daughter whom her school¬ 
mates called ‘ 4 Spitfire Lizzie. ’ ’ She w T ould pinch 
and slap her younger sister, then stolidly hold 
out her hand for a whipping, with only an im¬ 
pertinent grimace after the punishment. 


219 


TACT IX TRAINING 


0 


The mother was in despair. Finally Lizzie 
was isolated to “Lonesome Corner/’ where she 
could see the children play, but could have no 
part in their pleasure unless she would refrain 
from pinching and slapping. Lizzie did not 
relish such discipline, and began to treat others 
kindly. 

* An older girl had a violent temper, which 
punishments of various kinds failed to subdue 
or control. The loving mother prayed, asked 
advice, and tried to teach the child that she must 
not fly into a rage and kick and scream. Finally 
she called the girl’s attention to the fact that she 
was very truthful, and that therefore her mother 
would not be blamed for producing a deceitful 
woman. She praised her other good qualities, 
such as neatness and prompt obedience. Lastly 
she reminded her that in one thing the mother 
had failed, and that was in teaching her little 
girl self-control. She warned her that this 
temper would finally become her master if not 
controlled. 

“And now,” the mother said, “I am going to 
ask you to help me to get the best of this fault. 
God wants you and me to see just how good a 
child we can make of you, just what we can do 
with that temper of yours. Will you help me to 
conquer it?” 

The girl promised, and kept the promise. 
There were times when anger got the better of 
good resolutions, but a loving reminder from 
mother would abate the storm of passion. She 


220 


THE REAL HOME 


would stop screaming suddenly as the words, 
“Please help me, darling!” were spoken. The 
temper was controlled. 

No rule can be made to fit every case. Such 
faults need the wisdom and care of a specialist. 
That which will help one child, will sometimes 
harden another. But mothers should be spe¬ 
cialists. 

PROMPT OBEDIENCE 

If mother decides that her child must be 
obedient from babyhood, and then combines tact, 
patience, and firmness, she will obtain desired 
results. No key will fit all locks, so one method 
cannot be used successfully with every child. 
Children of one year and even younger, under¬ 
stand far more than is generally supposed. 

IN QUARANTINE 

Some one may find help in the plan suggested 
by Hilda Richmond, in the Sunday School 
Times: 

“Aunt Mary was greatly surprised that little Martin 
should so quickly stop pouting when the kitty upset his block 
house. Martin said he was not brave, hut he did not wish 
to go into quarantine. 

“ ‘In what V asked the lady in surprise over the big word. 

“‘In quarantine. You know when folks are sick, they 
may give the sickness to somebody else; and so they are shut 
up all alone till they are well/ 

“‘But you aren’t sick, are you?’ 

“ ‘Mamma says it is worse than being sick to be naughty, 
and she’s always afraid one of the other children will catch 
the naughty. I tell you, I don’t like to be shut up all alone. 
It’s no fun.’ 

“All the children ran to show Aunt Mary the quarantine 
room, and she smiled as she saw the bare little ‘hospital’ 


221 


TACT IN TRAINING 

for naughty children. There was a little stool in the room, 
but not a single plaything or picture or kitty or anything; 
just the bare walls, the little window, and the little stool. 

“ ‘Does it take very long to get well in here V inquired 
Aunt Mary. 

“ ‘Not very long !’ said all the children at once. ‘We don’t 
have to take any medicine, and we all get well in a hurry/ 

“ ‘And nobody ever catches the naughty/ said little 
Janie. ‘Mamma hurries us in here as fast as anything, and 
lots of times nobody knows we have been naughty until we 
get out. I haven't been in here for two weeks/ . . . 

“ ‘I’m going to tell the mothers of some little children I 
know, about this little hospital,’ said Aunt Mary. T think 
it is a lovely idea to keep naughtiness from spreading, for 
there is too much of it in the world now. I’m going to have 
a little quarantine for my very own self, so if I ever get 
naughty, I can get away from everybody.’” 

* 

THE HABIT OF TEASING 

One boy, visited by another, was overheard 
saying: “Now, Bertram, I know you’ll like this 
place, and you’ll like my mother, too. But it 
won’t do any good to tease her for things; for 
when she says ‘No,’ she means no; and when she 
says ‘Yes,’ she means yes. You’ll get along all 
right if you don’t tease.” 

That is a valuable lesson for any child to learn. 

This interesting experience is related by Mrs. 
L. Flora Plummer: 

“‘I don’t want to say my prayers/ 

“‘Robbie, you must say them. Jesus won’t love you if 
you don’t say your prayers. Now come here and kneel right 
down and say them/ 

“ ‘I don’t want to say them, and I’m not going to.’ 

“ ‘Well, I shall tell mamma, and she will make you say 
them. Mamma, Robbie won’t say his prayers.’ 

“Mrs. Kent appeared in the doorway, her clear eyes tak¬ 
ing in the scene at once — Robbie, irritated and angry; his 


222 


THE REAL HOME 


sister, Jessie, anxious but tactless — and in her calm, sooth¬ 
ing way she said, ‘Never mind, Jessie; just let Robbie do 
as he chooses/ 

“Jessie looked at her mother in surprise, but passed out 
of the room and spent the evening studying her lessons. 
Mrs. Kent busied herself about the room, saying nothing to 
Robbie for some time. After a while, she called him to her, 
and began to talk to him pleasantly about the things they 
had enjoyed. It had been a beautiful day, all nature re¬ 
joicing in the bright sunlight. A trip to the woods with 
Robbie and Jessie had afforded the children the keenest 
pleasure. Gradually Mrs. Kent led the little boy’s mind to 
think of the goodness of our heavenly Father in giving us 
so much to enjoy; then she said, ‘I thanked God this morn¬ 
ing for this new day, and asked Him to help me enjoy it, 
and to take care of me all day. To-night I will thank Him 
for the happy day I have had, and ask Him to care for me 
through the night. I do not want to live a single day with¬ 
out asking Jesus to love and care for me.’ 

“Robbie looked sober. ‘Did you ask Him to take care of 
me, mamma?’ 

“ ‘Oh, yes, dear; but Jesus likes to have us ask Him, and 
He knows when we do not ask Him.’ 

“‘Won't Jesus take care of me unless I ask Him?’ said 
Robbie. 

“‘Jesus gives us many blessings that we do not ask Him 
for, but He wants us to thank Him for all He does for us. 
He hears us when we pray, and He misses our prayers when 
we do not pray.’ 

“Other questions were asked, but Mrs. Kent held steadily 
to the one thought, that the little man might get it clearly. 
She repeated very often the words, ‘Jesus hears us when 
we pray,’ and, ‘Jesus knows when we do not pray.’ 

“ ‘Mamma, I want to say my prayers,’ said Robbie, slip¬ 
ping down from her lap and kneeling at her feet. 

“ ‘All right, my son,’ said Mrs. Kent,” 

Notice, Robbie was not compelled to pray 
when he did not wish to do so; but by tact and 
careful management, he was made to feel that 


TACT IN TRAINING 


223 


lie wanted, he needed, to pray. The practice of 
simply saying prayers without thought, or as a 
form, should not be encouraged. Teach the chil¬ 
dren to think of their blessings and of their 
needs; then let them ask Jesus in faith to supply 
them. To tell others of their simple petitions 
and smile about them in their presence is wrong. 

When the mother appreciates the privilege 
of teaching her children to pray, not as a form, 
but to express the heart’s desires, and prays thus 
for and with them, she binds them to our Father 
and to herself by a tie that cannot be broken. 


Chapter Fourteen 
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER 

“Oh, mother, guard the feet of inexperience, 

Too prone to wander in the paths of sin.” 

I N the forests of northern Minnesota, early 
settlers were easily lost. At one home, the 
little girl was allowed to play near the house, 
while the mother watched that she did not stray 
far away. When the child neared the forest, the 
mother would rap on the window to call her back. 

But on one occasion, the mother forgot — for 
even mothers sometimes forget. The child wan¬ 
dered till she was lost in the dense forest. She 
was finally found in an unconscious state by a 
searching party. Restoratives were applied; 
and as consciousness returned, the child gazed 
on her mother as though she would speak. 
Finally she found voice, and asked, “ Mother, 
why didn’t you rap on the window?” 

Girls are now lost every day. Sometimes 
search is made, sometimes not. Mothers may 
call and weep, but in vain, for they begin too late. 

It is said that a few years ago, within thirty 
days, seventeen hundred girls were lost en route 
between New York and Chicago. There are no 
figures to show that conditions have improved 
since. What must the total number for the 
whole country be? 

“Dr. Harper told of the sensational discovery made in 
a high school recently, that twenty of the girls attending 
( 224 ) 




15 


(225) 


HOMELESS 









THE REAL HOME 


226 

that institution had fallen from grace, and he declared that 
the shocking condition of affairs was due to the tactics of a 
band of young men who ostracized girls that would not 
accede to their vicious demands. The rule of the band wms 
that a girl must be unchaste or she would not be permitted 
to have a good time.” 

Probably this high school was no worse than 
those in many other cities. “We are in a clay 
of joy riding/’ says an editorial in the Spring- 
field Republican, “and it is time to put on the 
brakes. ” 

In the city alluded to, a legislative investi¬ 
gating committee was appointed, and the chief 
of police bore this testimony before it: 

“In the first place, some of the parents of girls do not 
take proper care of them; and in the second place, these girls 
will do anything to go with a man who to them appears above 
their social scale. They like to go out automobile riding. 
Gradually they are induced to take long trips; occasionally 
they will drink a little to be congenial; and all the rest 
follows in close succession.” 

A woman connected with the associated chari¬ 
ties of another large city, gave before the same 
committee this analysis of the situation: 

“The chief cause for this low condition of morality is 
improper supervision of the young people. The parents 
are greatly to blame for allowing their children to keep late 
hours, eat large dinners and stimulating food, and attend 
many dances improperly chaperoned. The desire of the 
young girl to gain social position often leads her to leave 
the straight and narrow path of virtue.” 

The editor of the Republican, while advocat¬ 
ing that too much trust be not placed in police 
regulations, states the truth when he declares: 


MOTHER AND DAUGHTER 227 

“But to keep the morals of the community sound and 
sweet is the business of the family, and our increasing de¬ 
pendence upon the schools and the police for what is the 
proper business of parents is a real danger.” 

These conditions existed before the World 
War. High-thinking men and women were 
shocked and alarmed as they took in the situa¬ 
tion during those dreadful days. “It is one of 
the sorriest sights imaginable, ’ ’ wrote the editor 
of the Ladies’ Home Journal, “in these days of 
anxiety, to walk any evening along the main 
streets of a city adjacent to a military camp, and 
see the hundreds of young girls, until late hours, 
idly parading up and down, giggling, and striv¬ 
ing by every known feminine artifice to attract 
the attention of the young men in uniform who 
are on ‘ leave/ These young girls hover around 
moving-picture houses and railroad stations, 
even the solitary tent of the boy guarding a 
bridge not being free of two or three girls pass¬ 
ing and repassing his tent until his attention is 
attracted. ’ ’ 

The editor says further: 

“But what of the parents of these girls ? What are they 
thinking about, that they allow their young daughters de¬ 
liberately to flirt with danger and do what they can to break 
down the gentleman’s code? Life must have taught these 
parents some lessons that their daughters have not learned. 
Are they insensible to them? Or have they no idea — and 
this is probably closer to the truth — where their daughters 
are, or what they are doing? ‘We trust the boys/ they say. 
That is a very comfortable theory, but have we the right 
to place all the responsibility on the boy ? Shall we say to 
the boy, ‘Thou shalt not forget/ and not to the girl, ‘Thou 


THE BEAL HOME 


228 

shalt not tempt’ ? Is it any fairer to expect our boys to hold 
fast to their standard when every artifice is used by girls 
to break down those standards ? . . . 

“We have been fearfully lax in this country about the 
freedom that we give our girls. We have fooled ourselves 
with the belief that the American girl can take care of her¬ 
self anywhere. But responsible reports do not prove this 
to be a fact. We might as well get it into our heads that 
these are days fraught with gravest danger for young girls, 
and the sooner their parents awake to this fact, the better 
it will be. Proper parental caution now will save after 
regrets and the keenest lamentations that can come to thou¬ 
sands of homes. An ounce of prevention now is worth 
pounds of cure, not forgetting that there are some things 
which cannot be cured!” 

Yet, despite all warning, fathers and mothers 
seem to have no sense of the critical situation. 

In an automobile accident near an Eastern 
city, two girls were badly injured. When this 
was printed in the morning paper, one hundred 
eighty-six mothers telephoned to the hospital to 
know if those injured were their daughters. It 
is hard to believe that there could be in that city 
so many mothers who did not know where their 
girls were the night before. 

As an illustration of the consequences of pa¬ 
rental neglect, an incident is related that took 
place in a Western city: 

“Eleven young people between the ages of fourteen and 
twenty years, all children of respectable families, were ar¬ 
rested, accused of a long list of crimes. Rigid examination 
brought confessions which revealed the fact that this was 
one of the most perfectly organized gangs for the commis¬ 
sion of petty crimes, that was ever known in that vicinity. 
Three members of the gang were girls, the youngest being 
only fourteen years of age. The girls confessed that they 


MOTHER AND DAUGHTER 


229 


had made a practice of meeting boys at dance halls, and 
staying with them till two or three o’clock in the morning, 
sleeping in barns and other places, while their mothers 
believed they were spending the night with some of their 
girl friends. The account of the affair ended with these 
words, which will touch the heart of every mother: 

“ ‘There were heart-rending scenes at the police station 
to-day. Mothers came to see their children, and when told 
of the crimes they had confessed, broke down and sobbed. 
With a maternal love that caused them to doubt that their 
sons and daughters were guilty, they kissed their children, 
and departed with eyes blinded with tears.’ ” 

It would have been well for these mothers, 
and also for their children, had they done their 
weeping before they were brought to the police 
court. 

Do you, mother, know wher£ your daughter 
is to-night and every night ? Do you absolutely 
knoiv, or is your belief based on what your girlie 
says as to her whereabouts ? If you permit her 
to stay away from home at night, if she is al¬ 
lowed to go where and when she pleases, a sad 
awakening is before you. 

While the police of two cities on the Pacific 
Coast were searching for her, Florence Blank 
walked into her home on Twenty-seventh Street, 
and nonchalantly remarked, 44 1’m married, 
mother. ’ ’ 

Florence was seventeen years old. She was 
a pretty girl. One night she disappeared. She 
left no clue behind. She met a girl friend in the 
evening and went to stay with her that night. 
The next day, the girls met two young men, 
Maurice and Edgar. Florence and Edgar fell 


THE REAL HOME 


230 

in love(?) with each other. They did not con¬ 
fide in their friends. The following day, they 
were married, after an acquaintance of twenty- 
four hours. Only three days of absence, and 
then Florence returned home to announce coolly 
that she was married. 

Such accounts are familiar to all who read 
the newspapers. Each means one more mis¬ 
guided, unfortunate girl. Mother failed to “rap 
on the window,” to train and guard her child 
in time. How inexpressibly sad for both mother 
and daughter! 

MOTHERS WHO ARE BLIND 

On one occasion when Mrs. Bess Fife Brooks 
had given a lecture to mothers, at its close they 
filed by to shake hands with the speaker. 

One mother paused to say: “I think, Mrs. 
Brooks, you are too hard on the girls when you 
say they need so much watching. I am glad to 
say my daughters have never caused me a mo¬ 
ment’s anxiety. I would trust my girls any¬ 
where. ’ ’ 

Her daughter closely followed, and listened 
to what she said. The girl then whispered to the 
lecturer, asking if she might see her alone the 
next day. When she came, she began her visit 
thus: 

“I heard what mother said to you yesterday, Mrs. 
Brooks, and I want to tell you she is one of the worst fooled 
women in this town. I have deceived her shamefully; but 
it is partly her own fault, for we girls have never felt free 


MOTHER AND DAUGHTER 


231 


to go to her with our troubles. If she knew half of what 
I've been into in the last six months, she’d have a fit. The 
truth is, I’ve been in dreadfully bad company. I’ve been 
running around with a bunch of girls — four of us — that 
are downright tough, only our mothers don’t know it. 

“We would go around to each other’s houses, when all 
the folks would be out for the evening; we would drink 
beer, smoke cigarettes, dance, and everything else you could 
think of. 

“One night we went over to Marie’s, and when we were 
trying to kick the globe off the electric light in the ceiling, 
her mother came home unexpectedly. The upstairs was full 
of cigarette smoke, and we had a beer bottle sitting in the 
middle of the floor.' We heard her coming. We nearly 
killed ourselves getting things hid. One girl tried to get 
up in a hurry and kicked the beer bottle over. It spilled 
about half out on the carpet. One girl grabbed the bottle 
and threw it out of the bathroom window. Two of the girls 
threw their cigarettes in the slop jar. I stuck mine under 
the bed on the springs, and set the mattress on fire. We 
told her mother we had been burning tobacco to kill the 
smell of moth balls off our furs, and one girl had presence 
of mind enough to say that the big spot on the rug was 
where we had upset the lamp to the chafing dish when we 
were making fudge. She swallowed it all down and went 
to bed; and not one of our mothers knows about that scrape 
to this day. 

“I’ve smoked cigarettes till it has ruined my voice. I 
used to sing high soprano, but now my voice is so harsh and 
coarse I can scarcely get in on the alto row of the Glee Club. 
My father has been paying doctor’s bills, had me under the 
care of a nerve specialist all winter long. They think it is 
the heavy studies I am carrying that have broken me down 
and made a wreck of me. But if I told them the truth, it 
would make the old folks sit up and take notice, believe me.” 

Mrs. Brooks looked at the girl in astonish¬ 
ment, and said: 

“Why, girlie, your mother is a church worker; she is a 
good woman, and dresses you beautifully. Your father has 


THE REAL HOME 


232 

spent much money on your music, and has given you ad¬ 
vantages, even beyond what he can afford. Why don’t you 
go to your mother and tell her all about this? She’ll help 
you. I’m just a stranger.” 

The girl replied: 

“Not for me, Mrs. Brooks. My mother is a good woman, 
and I love her; but if you think I could cuddle up to her 
and tell her what I’ve told you, you’ve got another guess 
coming. A girl needs something besides nice things to 
eat and handmade underwear. We girls might as well live 
with a fence post for all the companionship she gives us. 
When we try to ask her about things we want to know, she 
changes the subject, and says it isn’t nice.” 

Another daughter said she was going to spend 
the night with a chum. Mother gave her con¬ 
sent, for this girl was a lovely young woman; 
hut instead of going to the home of her friend, 
Alice met a man standing in the shadow of a 
telephone pole with his hat pulled over his eyes. 
They boarded a street car and went to town. 

Soon after Alice left, an uncle whom she had 
not seen for many years, arrived at her home. 
His coming was unexpected; and in her joy, the 
mother telephoned for her daughter to return. 
What was her astonishment to learn that Alice 
was not at the home of her friend, had not been 
there, nor had she been invited to spend the 
night with her. The mother called other friends, 
thinking she had misunderstood her daughter. 
Nobody had seen the girl; nobody knew where 
she was. 

Just then Alice’s brother arrived with the in¬ 
formation that he had seen his sister come from 


MOTHER AND DAUGHTER 233 

a show with a fellow of bad reputation. The 
mother was now thoroughly alarmed, and, with 
the uncle, started to town. They went to the 
theaters and the restaurants, where they thought 
she might be. They continued the search till 
midnight. Almost crazed with anxiety, they 
were about to return when the mother saw a girl 
stagger from the rear of a saloon in a back alley, 
supported by a Negro bartender and an intoxi¬ 
cated man. A taxi was waiting for them. 

The mother gasped. “That looks like Alice’s 
coat,’ 9 she said to the uncle. 4 6 Run! See ! 9 9 

The uncle halted the driver, pulled open the 
door of the taxi, and the limp form of his niece 
fell into his arms. 

Perhaps that mother had said: “Oh, yes, I 
can trust my daughter! She will never fall.” 

“This period in a girl’s life,” says a worker 
among girls, “or a boy’s either, is like measles 
or mumps,— looks as though they just have to 
have them. If you can nurse them through, they 
will come out all right. But when it takes all 
my husband and I both can do to keep track of 
our daughter and keep her in the right road,— 
and she is no worse than other girls,— I wonder 
what must become of girls whose mothers do not 
care, or who, because of their implicit trust in 
their children, turn them loose, thinking they 
can do no wrong.” 

Some astonishing facts relating to the crimi¬ 
nal indifference of mothers, and their neglect to 
safeguard their young daughters in the teen age, 




THE BEAL HOME 


234 

are given in “The Second Line of Defense/’ by 
Margaret Slattery. 

In a certain town, a group of homes was 
visited where there were daughters from thir¬ 
teen to nineteen years of age. Sixty such homes 
were visited, and only live girls were found at 
home between half past eight o’clock and half 
past nine o’clock in the evening. Only eight 
parents knew where their daughters were sup¬ 
posed to be. 

When inquiries were made as to where they 
might be, such answers as these were given: 

“Probably taking a walk.” 

“At the movies, maybe.” 

: 4 4 She goes to a little party most nights. ’ ’ 

44 With her friend Mamie; they always go 
together. ’ ’ 

Some confessed they didn’t know where their 
girls were. 

Some would justify themselves by saying, “I 
can’t be tying her up in the house or chasing 
after her, can I?” 

If the father was at home, he would, as a rule, 
criticize the mother for her carelessness. 

“The women engaged in rescue work were convinced that 
the parents of these girls practically never knew where they 
were, and in some cases, did not care. They did not know 
what time they came in, or if they did, roused themselves 
only long enough to administer a scolding, . . . and went 
to sleep again. These were the city’s untrained, unprotected 
girls. Schoolgirls with girl chums or with boys, found upon 
the streets, at the movies, or in the parks, after nine o’clock, 
admitted, in many cases, that their parents did not know 
where they were.” 


MOTHER AND DAUGHTER 


235 


“every child is as good as the home he 

COMES FROM” 

In the annual report of the Seattle Juvenile 
Court for 1913, Dr. Merrill gives some of the 
conclusions at which he arrived while examining 
causes of juvenile delinquency that came before 
the court. Probably in most of the cases, the 
parents were sure they were not to blame for the 
misconduct of their children. Dr. Merrill says: 

“The one outstanding fact revealed by the study of the 
children who have appeared in the juvenile court during 
the last year is the inefficiency of parents. Eighty-five per 
cent of those children were apprehended for conduct and 
conditions of neglect which, in most instances, would have 
been avoided if fathers and mothers had safeguarded the 
children with a reasonable amount of affectionate com¬ 
panionship.^ 

About five eighths of the misconduct was 
found to be due to parental neglect, and about 
three eighths to unwholesome companionship. 
Happy the child who can say: 

Mother is a little girl who trod my path before me; 

Just a bigger, wiser little girl who ran ahead — 

Bigger, wiser, stronger girl, who always watches o’er me; 
One who knows the pitfalls in the rugged road I tread. 

Mother is a playmate who will always treat me kindly — 
Playmate who will yield me what true happiness demands. 
She will never let my feet stray into brambles blindly — 
Mother’s just a bigger little girl who understands. 

Mother is an older little playmate who’ll befriend me — 
Yesteryear she traveled in the path that’s mine to-day! 
Never need I fear a foe from which she might defend me — 
Faithful little pal who ran ahead and learned the way! 

— Strickland Gillilan . 


THE REAL HOME 


236 

When James Gordon Bennett sent Stanley 
into Africa, he said: 

“Draw on me for a thousand pounds to-day to provide 
your equipment, and when that is exhausted, draw on me 
for another thousand; and when that is gone, draw another 
thousand; and when that is used, draw another, and another 
— but find Livingstone ’’ 

• 

To parents filled with sadness because of way¬ 
ward sons or daughters, perhaps broken-hearted 
because of their mistakes and sins, our Father 
says: I know your sorrow, for I am a Father. 
‘ 4 1 have nourished and brought up children, -and 
they have rebelled against Me.” I gave My 
well-beloved Son to save you and yours. For 
His sake and in His name, draw on Me. I will 
draw with you. 

When your strength is gone, draw a fresh 
supply from Me. Draw again and again, and 
keep drawing on Me — but find the lost. Seek 
the straying ones as I sought you. Pray for 
them as Jesus prayed for you. Love them as I 
have loved you. Watch for their return as I 
watched for you. Draw the power to wait, to 
hope, to love, to believe. Draw, draiv, draw all 
you need — but find the lost. 

Are you standing at “Wit’s End Corner,” 
Christian, with troubled brow? 

Are you thinking of what is before you, 

And all you are bearing now? 

Does all the world seem against you, 

And you in the battle alone ? 

Remember, at “Wit’s End Corner” 

Is just where God’s power is shown. 

— Antoinette Wilson. 



Chapter Fifteen 


THE BEST HOUR OF THE DAY 


“Hold diligent converse with thy children. Have them 
Morning and evening round thee; love thou them, 
And win their love in these rare, beauteous years; 
For only while the short-lived dream of childhood 
Lasts are they thine,— no longer.” 


A MISSIONARY who had returned to 
America after twenty-five years abroad, 
said that that which impressed him most while 
he was journeying through the homeland was 
the broken-down family altars found every¬ 
where. 

In Nehemiah’s time, when a great task was 
to be accomplished, every one began building 
“over against his house.” The work in which 
w 7 e are engaged is that of home reformation. 
All need to begin at this point. The life in our 
own home is what counts. Many men who have 
gained public success are private failures, be¬ 
cause the religious life at home is neglected. 

Robert Dollar, millionaire lumber king and 
shipowner of San Francisco, when invited to 
give a talk to hundreds of young men in Shang¬ 
hai, China, chose as the basis of his address: 
“This book of the law shall not depart out of 
thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day 
and night, that thou mayest observe to do ac¬ 
cording to all that is written therein: for then 
thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then 

( 237 ) 



Robert Dollar, millionaire lumber king and shipowner 
of San Francisco 


International 

/ 


( 238 ) 

















THE BEST HOUR OF THE DAY 


239 


thou shalt have good success. Have I not com¬ 
manded thee ? Be strong and of a good courage; 
be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the 
Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou 
goest.” Joshua 1:8, 9. 

His theme was “God’s Help in Business.’’ 
He interpreted his text as a command to read 
the Bible every day. He said concerning his 
own experience: 

“I attribute much of my success to the teaching I have 
received from reading the Bible daily. Reading the Bible 
thoughtfully inspires reflection. It helps to give you the 
right perspective. It tends to bring home to you the things 
that are really worth while. It inculcates the homely vir¬ 
tues which are too often forgotten in the heat and the battle 
and the bustle of life. It imparts to the spirit a certain 
calm, a poise, a steadying and strengthening of the mind 
which tends to improve judgment and clarify vision. You 
feel that after all, there is a God in heaven, a God that is 
almighty, a Supreme Being that rules the universe, a God 
that is on the side of righteousness. In time it begets a 
peace of mind and a resoluteness of purpose that the ever- 
shifting events of the world cannot shake. If your purpose 
in life is right, the very stars in their courses are on 
your side. 

“There is not enough money in the world to tempt a 
man to barter away this peace of mind, this faith, once he 
has experienced it.” 

For thirty years, Captain Dollar, though he 
has large interests at home and abroad, has not 
once missed giving time in the morning to Bible 
study. If he could give it, why not we % 

Ex-president Woodrow Wilson has said: 

“Give the Bible to the people unadulterated, pure, un¬ 
altered, unexplained, uncheapened, and then see it work 
its wholesome work through the whole nature. 


240 


THE REAL HOME 


“It is very difficult indeed for a man or a boy who knows 
the Scripture, ever to get away from it. It haunts him like 
an old song. It follows him like the memory of his mother. 
It reminds him like the words of an old and revered teacher. 
It forms a part of the warp and woof of his life.” 

Too busy to read the Bible, 

Too busy to wait and pray, 

Too busy to speak out kindly 
To some one by the way! 

Too busy w T ith care and struggle 
To think of the life to come! 

Too busy building mansions 
To plan for the heavenly home! 

Too busy to help a brother 
Who faces the wintry blast! 

Too busy to share his burden, 

When self in the balance is cast! 

Too busy for all that is holy 
On earth beneath the sky! 

Too busy to serve the Master! 

But — not too busy to die! , 

— Robert Hare. 

FAMILY BIBLE STUDY AND PRAYER 

The best hour of the day is when father, 
mother, and children come together to read 
God’s Word and to worship Him. 

It is then that the “glooms” are driven out, 
and Jesus Himself draws near to speak peace 
and to give His blessing to the group bowed 
before Him. Hearts are united in love and 
sympathy, wrongs are righted, peace takes the 
place of discord, and all are strengthened for 
life’s duties and trials. 

In his “Cotter’s Saturday Night,” Robert 
Burns well describes family worship in a simple 


THE BEST HOUR OF THE DAY 


241 

Scotch home after the sons and daughters, em¬ 
ployed during the week laboring for others, have 
returned for a short visit with their parents, and 
have with them partaken of the evening meal. 
The Scotch rendering and spelling of some 
words have been changed so the sentiment may 
more easily be understood. This poem is a gem 
in literature, and is worthy of careful study. 
We cannot quote it all. 

“The cheerful supper done, with serious face, 

They round the ingle form a circle wide. 

The sire turns o’er, with patriarchal grace, 

The big hall Bible, once his father’s pride; 

His bonnet rev’rently is laid aside, 

His temple locks wearing thin and bare; 

Those strains that once did sweet in Zion glide, 

He chooses a portion with judicious care, 

And, ‘Let us worship God,’ he says with solemn air. 

“They chant their artless notes in simple guise; 

They tune their hearts, by far the noblest aim; 
Perhaps ‘Dundee’s’ wild-warbling measures rise, 

Or plaintive ‘Martyrs,’ worthy of the name; 

Or noble ‘Elgin’ feeds the heavenly flame, 

The sweetest far of Scotia’s holy lays. 

Compared with these, Italian trills are tame; 

The tickled ears no heartfelt raptures raise; 

No unison have they with our Creator’s praise. 

“The priestlike father reads the sacred page,— 

How Abram was the friend of God on high; 

Or Moses bade eternal warfare wage 
With Amalek’s ungracious progeny; 

Or how the royal bard did groaning lie 
Beneath the stroke of Heaven’s avenging ire; 

Or Job’s pathetic plaint, and wailing cry; 

Or rapt Isaiah’s wild, seraphic fire; 

Or other holy seers that tune the sacred lyre. 


16 


242 


TEE REAL HOME 


“Perhaps the Christian volume is the theme,— 

How guiltless blood for guilty man was shed; 

How He who bore in heaven the second name, 

Had not on earth whereon to lay His head; 

How His first followers and servants sped; 

The precepts sage they wrote in many a land; 

How he who lone in Patmos banished, 

Saw in the sun a mighty angel stand, 

And heard great Bab’lon’s doom pronounced by 
Heaven’s command. 

“Then, kneeling down to heaven’s eternal King, 

The saint, the father, and the husband prays. 

Hope ‘springs exulting on triumphant wing/ 

That thus they all shall meet in future days, 

There ever bask in uncreated rays, 

No more to sigh, or shed the bitter tear, 

Together hymning their Creator’s praise, 

In such society, yet still more dear, 

While circling time moves round in an eternal sphere. 

“Compared with this, how poor religion’s pride 
In all the pomp of method and of art, 

When men display to congregations wide 
Devotion’s every grace, except the heart! 

The Power, incens’d, the pageant will desert, 

The pompous strain, the sacerdotal stole, 

But, haply, in some cottage far apart, 

May hear, well pleased, the language of the soul, 

And in His book of life the inmates poor enroll.” 

ONE METHOD 

Family worship, as sometimes conducted, be¬ 
comes a dry, formal affair, instead of a life- 
giving, inspiring exercise. The children are 
glad to escape from the monotonous, dreary 
ordeal, and look upon it with dread. All feel 
relieved if for any reason it is omitted from the 
daily program. 


THE BEST HOUR OF THE DAY 243 

In such homes, the Scripture portion selected 
is usually a long chapter, possibly several of 
them, read in a monotone, without comment or 
question. The selection may be wholly unsuited 
to the understanding of children, and might as 
well be read in a foreign tongue. While all are 
kneeling, the children look about, manifesting 
neither reverence nor interest, while a long, 
tedious prayer, which must weary the angels, is 
uttered, perhaps in a low, indistinct voice 
scarcely audible even to the most attentive lis¬ 
tener,— a prayer covering every need of the 
world except the everyday, personal wants of 
that particular family. As soon as the “Amen” 
is pronounced, all spring to their feet, the hum 
of worldly conversation is resumed, and all feel 
relieved because “prayers” are over. 

A BETTER WAY 

In another family, when the hour for family 
worship comes, all are expected to be present, 
and an air of pleasure and expectancy is seen on 
all faces. In the morning, as time is limited, 
there is no long chapter read. The Morning 
Watch text may be memorized, and repeated in 
concert. Perhaps two or three questions of the 
Sabbath school lesson are studied, the central 
thought being mentioned as worthy of study and 
meditation during the day. The shepherd psalm 
may be repeated together. 

Then all reverently kneel while a short, 
simple, earnest prayer is offered by one member 



THE REAL HOME 


244 

of the family, for strength to meet the tasks and 
tests of the day. Father’s and mother’s burdens 
will be remembered before the throne. The 
temptations and associations Adolph and Eliza¬ 
beth will meet in their school life, the particular 
situation each must face that day, will be the 
subject of prayer. Past blessings will be grate¬ 
fully mentioned, and strength sought that each 
individual may lead a life in which he will be 
victorious over sin. In closing, all may join in 
the Lord’s Prayer. On rising, each will feel 
that he has talked with God as with a friend. 
The impatient word will be unspoken, the irri¬ 
tation of spirit soothed. Such a season of 
prayer will be a bond of union which will com¬ 
fort and protect and bind hearts together. It 
throws about every member of the family an 
influence which will pervade the whole day. 

If the father must be absent in the morning, 
it is the mother’s privilege to conduct the wor¬ 
ship, praying as only a wife and mother can for 
the loved ones needing so much of the Father’s 
help, including the absent husband and father 
who is toiling and planning for all. 

Even in homes where the husband is not a 
Christian, the wife may gather her children 
about her each day for Bible study and prayer. 
The following story illustrates the influence of 
such a custom, not only in the home, but out¬ 
side of it: 

“Ten years ago I boarded in the family of a pious woman 
whose husband was not religious. There was a daughter 


THE BEST HOUR OF THE DAY 


245 

nineteen years of age, another of fourteen, and a son of ten. 
Every morning, I heard that humble woman gather her 
family in the kitchen, and read a chapter, verse about, in 
the Bible. Then, as I could not help listening, there was 
a peculiarity of service that mystified me. 

“At last, one day, I asked if I might remain. She hesi¬ 
tated ; her daughter blushed; but she said I could do so if 
I really desired it. So I sat down with the rest. They gave 
me a Testament, and we read a verse in turn. Then, kneel¬ 
ing on the floor, that mother began her prayer audibly, for 
her dear ones there, for her husband, and herself, and then, 
pausing a moment, as if to gather energy, or wing her faith, 
uttered a tender, affectionate supplication for me. 

“She closed, and her daughter began to pray. Poor girl, 
she was afraid of me. I was from college; I was her teacher; 
but she tremulously asked a blessing as usual. Then came 
the other daughter, and at last the son, the youngest of that 
circle, who only repeated the Lord’s Prayer, with one peti¬ 
tion of his own. 

“His Amen’ was said, but no one arose. I knew, on the 
instant, they were waiting for me. And I, poor, prayerless 
I, had no word to say. It almost broke my heart. I hurried 
from the room, desolate and guilty. 

“A few weeks only passed, when I asked their permission 
to come in once more; and then I prayed, too, and thanked 
my dear, patient Saviour for the hope in my heart and the 
new song on my lips.” 

In the early evening, the worship may be the 
best and brightest hour of all the day. If there 
are young children, have it appointed before 
they become tired and sleepy. A stanza sung 
of some well-known hymn may he the signal to 
begin. “Music hath charms,” and the home 
hymns which are sung until they are memorized 
can never be forgotten. They will ever thrill 
the heart in after life. At evening, the wan¬ 
derer will hear: 


246 


THE REAL HOME 


“Thus far the Lord has led me on; 

Thus far His power prolongs my days; 

And ev'ry evening shall make known 
Some fresh memorial of His grace. 

“Much of my time has run to waste, 

And I, perhaps, am near my home; 

But He forgives my follies past, 

And gives me strength for days to come. 

“I lay my body down to sleep; 

Peace is the pillow for my head, 

While well-appointed angels keep 

Their watchful stations round my bed.” 

In a well-remembered family, father’s tenor, 
mother’s and sister’s soprano, brother’s deep 
bass, and a sweet alto sung by younger sister, 
made a harmony that seemed sweet as the song 
of angels. Peace and love filled each heart as 
the family fared forth to the duties of the day 
after the song: 

“Lord, in the morning Thou slialt hear 
My voice ascending high; 

To Thee will I direct my prayer, 

To Thee lift up mine eye. 

“Oh, may Thy Spirit guide my feet 
In ways of righteousness, 

Make every path of duty straight 
And plain before my face! 

“The men that love and fear Thy name 
Shall see tlieir hopes fulfilled; 

The mighty God will compass them 
With favor as a shield.” 

The evening Bible study may be longer than 
that of the morning, but not too long. A portion 


THE BEST HOUR OF THE DAY 247 

of the Sabbath school lesson may be studied. If 
there are different lessons for various members 
of the family, part of the study periods during 
the week may be devoted to each, and the older 
ones will find even in primary and kindergarten 
lessons that which will be food for the soul. 

An illustrative Bible story, and the defining 
of hard words, will be appreciated, especially by 
younger children. Their memory verses may 
be learned, and recited in concert. Every one in 
the family should take part in the reading and 
recitation. Such Bible study is common ground, 
where each has an equal right to be interested 
and instructed. The experiences of the day may 
be the text for a truth to be taught and deeply 
impressed. 

In one home, at the evening worship hour, the 
topic of study was the family of earth and 
heaven. (Ephesians 3:15; 2:19.) That day, 
one of the girls had treated another unkindly. 
After the question as to who composed the 
family of heaven, the question was asked how 
the members of the family in heaven would treat 
one another. Would they be unkind, manifest 
temper, and act hatefully? With our heavenly 
Father as the head of the family, would He not 
be grieved if He saw His children hateful and 
spiteful to one another? God’s Spirit sent the 
arrow home to the heart of the young girl. Be¬ 
fore the good-nights were said that evening, the 
child confessed her fault to her sister, saying she 
did not wish to be the hateful, unloving member 


THE REAL HOME 


248 

in the family of God. No personal reproof had 
been given; but prayer and faith, connected with 
Bible study, had remedied the wrong without it. 

And children early learn to love family wor¬ 
ship, and the giving of thanks at meals, when 
these are conducted the right way, and they have 
a part to act. 

Children trained to be quiet at family wor¬ 
ship from babyhood will be orderly and reverent 
in church services. Let each child have his own 
chair, suited to his age, in which he can sit com¬ 
fortably. Some simple question may be directed 
to them if their interest is seen to be lagging; 
and the habit of orderly, quiet worship will be¬ 
come firmly fixed. 

At evening worship, let every member of the 
family pray aloud. This is an important part of 
childish education. Memory recalls a baby sis¬ 
ter in a large family, who would offer her lisping 
prayer after the prayers of older brothers and 
sisters: “Dear Jesus, bless all of us. Amen.” 
That was all; but when the sweet lips were silent 
in death, her prayer was still remembered by 
stricken hearts. 

Those who early learn to pray at home are 
better prepared to take part in public worship 
without embarrassment, as they grow older. It 
will not be so difficult to pray before others out¬ 
side the home circle. 

The most devoted and unselfish workers for 
God, the missionaries who have been as lights in 


THE BEST HOUR OF THE DAY 249 

darkness, have gone from homes where family 
worship was not neglected. 

The devoted missionary John G. Paton thus 
writes of the influence daily morning and evening 
prayer exerted in the home of his childhood: 

“And so began that blessed custom of family prayer, 
morning and evening, which my father practiced probably 
without one omission till he lay on his deathbed, seventy- 
seven years of age, when, even to the last day of his life, a 
portion of Scripture was read, and his voice was heard join¬ 
ing softly in the psalm, and his lips breathed the morning 
and evening prayer,— falling in sweet benediction on the 
heads of all his children, far away, many of them, over all 
the earth, but all meeting him there at the throne of grace. 
None of us can remember that any day ever passed unhal¬ 
lowed thus; no hurry for market, no rush of business, no 
arrival of friends or guests, no trouble or sorrow, no joy 
or excitement, ever prevented at least our kneeling around 
the family altar while the high priest led our prayers to 
God, and offered himself and his children there. 

“And blessed to others, as well as to ourselves, was the 
light of such an example. I have heard that in long after 
years, the worst woman of Thorthorwald, then leading an 
immoral life, but since changed by the grace of God, was 
known to declare that the only thing that kept her from 
despair and from the hell of suicide, was when in the dark 
winter nights she crept close up under my father’s window, 
and heard him pleading in family worship that God would 
convert ‘the sinner from the error of his ways, and polish 
him as a jewel for the Redeemer’s crown.’ ‘I felt,’ said she, 
‘that I was a burden on that good man’s heart, and I knew 
that God would not disappoint him. That thought kept me 
out of hell, and at last led me to the only Saviour.’ ” 

The part that family worship had in leading 
this lad to devote his own life to missionary 
service, is thus described: 

“How much my father’s prayers impressed me I can 
never explain, nor could any stranger understand. When, 


THE REAL HOME 


250 

on his knees, and all of ns kneeling round him in family 
worship, he poured out his whole soul with tears for the 
conversion of the heathen world to the service of Jesus, and 
for every personal and domestic need, we all of us felt as 
if in the presence of the living Saviour, and learned to 
know and love Him as our divine Friend. As we rose from 
our knees, I used to look at the light on my father’s face, 
and wish I were like him in spirit,— hoping that, in answer 
to his prayers, I might be privileged and prepared to carry 
the blessed gospel to some portion of the heathen world / 5 

But if family prayer becomes wliat it may 
and should be, the father must often prevail 
with God in the secret place. Mr. Paton de¬ 
scribes his father’s custom with reference to 
private prayer: 

“Our home consisted of a ‘but , 5 a ‘ben , 5 and a ‘midroom , 5 
or chamber, called the ‘closet/ The one end was my mother’s 
domain, and served all the purposes of dining room, kitchen, 
and parlor, besides containing two large wooden erections 
called by our Scotch peasantry ‘box beds 5 — not holes in the 
wall, as in cities, but grand, big, airy beds. . . . 

“The other end was my father’s workshop, filled with 
five or six ‘stocking frames , 5 whirring with the constant ac¬ 
tion of five or six pairs of busy hands and feet, and produc¬ 
ing right genuine hosiery for the merchants of Hawick and 
Dumfries. The ‘closet 5 was a very small apartment betwixt 
the other two, having room only for a bed, a little table, and 
a chair, with a diminutive window shedding diminutive light 
on the scene. 

“This was the sanctuary of that little cottage. Thither 
daily, and often many times a day, generally after each 
meal, we saw our father retire, and ‘shut to the door 5 ; and 
we children got to understand, by a sort of spiritual instinct 
(for the thing was too sacred to be talked about), that 
prayers were being poured out there for us, as of old by the 
high priest within the veil in the most holy place. We occa¬ 
sionally heard the pathetic echoes of a trembling voice 
pleading as if for life, and we learned to slip out and in past 
that door on tiptoe, not to disturb the holy colloquy. The 


THE BEST HOUR OF THE DAY 


251 

outside world might not know, but we knew, whence came 
that happy light as of a newborn smile that always was 
dawning on my father's face: it was a reflection from the 
Divine Presence, in the consciousness of which he lived. 

“Never, in temple or cathedral, on mountain or in glen, 
can I hope to feel that the Lord God is more near, more 
visibly walking and talking with men, than undek that 
humble cottage roof of thatch and oaken wattles. Though 
everything else in religion were by some unthinkable 
catastrophe to be swept out of memory or blotted from my 
understanding, my soul would wander back to those early 
scenes, and shut itself up once again in that sanctuary closet, 
and hearing still the echoes of those cries to God, would hurl 
back all doubt with the victorious appeal, ‘He walked with 
God; why may not I V ” 

John G. Patou’s father was but a man. The 
life he lived before his children, other parents 
may live. There is such a thing as a spiritual 
atmosphere in the home. Children learn more 
by example than by precept. They take in by 
absorption, and they absorb what they find in 
the home,— its spirit, its influence; and what 
the child takes in, makes or unmakes him. 
Prayer will drive away unkindness, complain¬ 
ing, and anger. It will silence criticism, and 
soften the heart and the voice. The day is not 
past, but is now here, when the hearts of the 
fathers shall be turned first to God, and then 
toward their children. “ Effectual fervent 
prayer” will avail now as in the days of Elijah, 
and in no place is it needed more than in our 
homes. 

SECEET PRAYER 

Mrs. Adelaide Bee Evans tells this story, 
which will interest parents: 



252 


TEE BEAL HOME 


“ ‘I must talk with God/ said a tired mother to a guest, 
as she cleared away the last vestige of the midday meal. 
‘That is my duty and my greatest privilege. I am sure you 
will gladly excuse me a little while, will you not?’ 

‘‘Her friend assented, and the mother went to her room, 
tired and heated with the duties of the day. She bathed, 
put on a loose gown, and lay down for a few moments to 
rest. When she arose, she dressed neatly, and sat down, her 
Bible in her hand, as if she expected a visit from some loving 
friend. She read for some time, then knelt in prayer. 
When, after a time, she returned to her guest, Mrs. Pauli 
exclaimed, ‘How refreshed you look!’ 

“‘Yes, I am refreshed/ replied the mother, ‘both in soul 
and in body/ 

w 

“ ‘Tell me why you look so composed and happy. Have 
vou received good news?’ 

‘‘The mother sat down, and looking straight into the eyes 
of her guest, said: ‘Three years ago I gave my heart anew 
to God. Before that time, I had been greatly discouraged. 
My health was failing. My duties, as you know, were in¬ 
creasing with my large family, and I had no heart to live 
and face the future. I had been a professed Christian for 
many years, but I had grown peevish, fretful, and fault¬ 
finding both with my husband and with the children. Noth¬ 
ing seemed to suit me. My own life was far from happy, 
and I made others as unhappy as myself. During that time, 
a sister came to visit me. I noticed how different she was 
from me. She always seemed reconciled and contented. 
She spoke so cheerfully and hopefully of her husband and 
her children, of the church, and in fact, of everybody. 

“ ‘One dav, I said to her, “Tell me how vou can be so con- 
tented and happy with all your work and poverty.” 

“‘She looked at me for a moment, her eyes filled with 
tears, and she said, “Well, will you go up to my room and 
let me tell you?” Of course I consented. When we were 
seated, she said: “I too used to fret and worry. The harder 
I worked, the crosser I grew. I felt ugly at times. I com¬ 
plained at my hardships. I scolded my children almost con¬ 
tinually. My husband never seemed to please me. One 
time, a minister came to our place and preached a sermon 
which greatly touched my heart. I do not remember now 


THE BEST HOUR OF THE DAY 


253 

his exact words, but I resolved, while listening to his dis¬ 
course, that I would get the victory over these things. Then 
and there I set apart one hour of each day to reading my 
Bible and prayer. I began at once, and I have never failed 
to meet God daily since that time.” 

“ ‘Then we knelt in a season of prayer together. It broke 
, m y heart to hear that woman pray. God showed me what a 
sinner I had been. There came to me an impression of my 
utter worthlessness. My supreme selfishness overwhelmed 
me. I cried to God with all my heart to save me from these 
failings, and He gave me a new experience. Never shall I 
forget the moment when I found my Saviour. I promised 
that sister that I would not allow any family cares to inter¬ 
vene, but would undertake to seek God dailv. 

“ ‘I have tried now for three years to lead a Christian 
life. This season of prayer has been the keynote to all the 
victories I have gained. Every day, I spend an hour or 
more in meditation and prayer, always first letting God talk 
to me through His Word. Sometimes I feel God’s presence 
in the room in a very definite way. Then I talk to Him. I 
tell Him some of the promises He has made in His Word, 
and ask Him to fulfill these promises to me, and make them 
very true in my life. I ask Him for cleansing, that I may 
be made pure and clean. I place before Him all my troubles, 
all my little worries, all my cares and burdens. If I have 
any special hurts or particular trials that are pressing me 
sorely, I make all these known to the Lord. Nor do I cease 
praying until the load is lifted and I am reconciled to His 
will. I never come from this audience with God until I 
know that everything is right between us. He has all my 
burdens, and understands them; and I have His peace, and 
am in harmony with His will concerning me.’ 

“Mrs. Pauli sighed, and said: ‘Is that experience for all ? 
Would God hear me pray if I talked to Him as you dof 

“The mother answered: ‘When I began this communion, 
I doubted as you seem to doubt. I wondered if God did hear 
me. Once, after a very earnest season of prayer over a 
severe perplexity, I said to myself: “I will watch and see 
if God answers this prayer. If He does, then I shall know 
that He hears me.” But to my surprise, the answer did not 
come. I was disappointed. I did not know what to do. I 


I 


254 THE REAL HOME 

had made this case a test in my mind, and what I had ex¬ 
pected, did not come true. As I was brooding over this 
condition, the thought came to me like a flash of lightning: 
“You do not believe God. Until you truly believe, He can¬ 
not answer you/’ Then I began to pray in faith. It did not 
come to me in any miraculous way, but by degrees. I tried 
to believe God. As I persisted in prayer, I learned to act 
as if God had done the thing. I left the entire responsibility 
with the Lord. But in all my actions and planning, I sought 
to work on the side of God, with the understanding that He 
had answered me; and things were changed. 

“ ‘Now I never worry concerning any of our troubles, but 
trust the Lord to see that His will is fully accomplished. 
As a result of this experience, my health has greatly im¬ 
proved. I enjoy almost uninterrupted peace. My whole 
life and the life of my family have been entirely changed. 
My children have found Christ, and my husband has given 
his heart to the Lord. I can only say that this daily season 
of prayer has done more for me and my family than any¬ 
thing else that I know.’ ” 

Time devoted to Bible study and prayer is a 
paying investment. Not one day in the week, 
but every day, we need communion with God. 
As the body needs daily food, so the soul must 
be fed, or it will weaken and die. Here is found 
wisdom to meet the problems and perplexities 
of family discipline, and to enable us to bear the 
wear and worry of 

“Keep the home near heaven. Let it face toward the 
Father’s house. Not only let the day begin and end with 
God, with mercies acknowledged and forgiveness sought, 
but let it be seen and felt that God is your chiefest joy, His 
will, in all you do, the absolute and sufficient reason.” 

Children cannot forget the prayers of a godly 
father or mother, one who has learned the secret 
and power of prevailing with God. Many per- 


daily life. 


THE BEST HOUR OF THE DAY 


255 


plexities of management and discipline will van¬ 
ish before the voice of fervent prayer. Wisdom 
will be received for the asking, and prayer will 
be the lubricant that will oil the wheels of family 
life, causing them to move without friction. 

The wireless telegraph called prayer 
Needs neither ether, space, nor air 
O’er which to speed fear’s quivering waves 
From us who need to Him who saves; 

Through vacuums of forgetfulness 
Race the flashing messages. 

No medium is too dense or hard; 

Flesh, distance, time, in vain retard; 

Prayer needs two instruments alone,— 

God’s heart, and, tuned therewith, thine own. 
These signal stations in accord, 

Thou shalt hold converse with thy Lord 
Through hills or plains, beneath the sea; 

For love’s the electricity. 

Who loveth, though the meanest clod, 

Can telegraph each day to God. 


Selected. 



Chapter Sixteen 

THE BEST BAY OF THE WEEK 

The Sabbath day remember; then shall close 
The days of weekly toil, for calm repose. 

For earthly labor stern, six days are thine; 

The seventh is God’s holy day divine. . . . 

That man on earth and fading things below 
Might not his best affections all bestow, 

But calm his soul with holy thoughts of heaven, 

The rest day of the Lord was kindly given, 

A blest memorial which to mind should bring 
Creation’s birthday and creation’s King. 

—“A Word for the Sabbath 

I T was Sabbath afternoon. Mother was read¬ 
ing. Bubby and sister Ruth were in the next 
room. Unpleasant words came to mother’s ear. 
It was plain that the children were quarreling. 

( 256 ) 







THE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK 257 

“Ruthie,” mother called over the top of her 
book, “didn’t you ask God last night to help you 
be a good girl?” 

“Yes, I did,” came back the impatient an¬ 
swer; “but He hasn’t done it yet.” 

Those older than Ruth have not all yet be¬ 
come “good” as Sabbath keepers. There is a 
growing laxity and lawlessness which leads us to 
use God’s time as our own. How can we do bet¬ 
ter, especially in our homes ? 

The Sabbath is the golden clasp of the week, 
the best day of all. In the beginning, it was 
made for man; and it is God’s love-gift to us. 
While it is ours, it is at the same time His ,— a 
token held by both in joint ownership. Had 
men always kept God’s Sabbath, they would not 
have forgotten Him, and hence there would not 
have been a heathen nation on earth. 

• The Creator was generous in His giving. He 
gave us six days of each week for our own work. 
He kept but one for Himself, and He calls it 
“My holy day.” As He presents this gift, He 
tells us how to use it,— what to do, and what 
to say. 

“If thou turn away thy foot from the Sab¬ 
bath, from doing thy pleasure on My holy day; 
and call the Sabbath a delight, the holy of the 
Lord, honorable; and shalt honor Him, not doing 
thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, 
nor speaking thine own words: then shalt thou 
delight thyself in the Lord.” Isaiah 58:13, 14. 


17 


258 


THE BEAL HOME 


The Sabbath is of such great importance that 
God gave a commandment telling us to ‘ 4 remem¬ 
ber” it. No press of work is to interfere with 
its sacred hours. “In plowing time and in har¬ 
vest thou shalt rest,” He commands. Exodus 
34: 21, A. R. Y. The Sabbath comes each week, 
while we sow and when we reap. 

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it.” 
That which is kept is guarded and cherished. 
We strive to keep our health, our property, our 
lives. That which we prize most is most jeal¬ 
ously kept. As the Sabbath comes from the 
Giver of “every good and every perfect gift,” 
it is worthy of being carefully and religiously 
kept to His glory and praise. 

NOT A HOLIDAY 

How shall we keep the Sabbath?—“Holy.” 
That which is holy belongs to God, and is to be 
treated accordingly. Anything set apart for His 
service is holy, consecrated, sacred. A holy day 
is not a holiday, nor is it to be treated as such. 
It is a time to give thought to our Creator, to 
learn His will, His character, to delight in His 
communion and fellowship. 

“Sabbath” means rest,— spiritual rest; and 
he who simply refrains from work, while he 
talks on worldly subjects, feasts, and plays, is 
not truly keeping God’s rest day. 

Children quickly catch the spirit of their 
parents and associates in Sabbath keeping. If 
father and mother keep it according to the 



THE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK 


259 


commandment,— if servants, animals, all on the 
premises, are under the instruction given,— the 
children know it; and if not, they are not slow 
to follow the example of others. 

THE PREPARATION DAY 

In Bible times, the day preceding the Sabbath 
was known as “the preparation”; and on that 
day, all was made ready for the keeping of the 
Sabbath. 

The holy women were so careful about the 
observance of the Sabbath, that they would not 
even more perfectly embalm the body of their 
crucified Saviour on that day; but after seeing 
Him laid in the tomb, they “returned, and pre¬ 
pared spices and ointments; and rested the 
Sabbath day according to the commandment.” 
Luke 23:56. After the Sabbath was past, 
“upon the first day of the week, . . . they came 
unto the sepulcher, bringing the spices which 
they had prepared” (Luke 24:1), expecting to 
finish the work left incomplete two days before. 

The Sabbath is desecrated by the use of its 
hours to repair clothing, do extra cooking, and 
for other works of preparation which should 
have been performed the day before the Sab¬ 
bath. If children are taught that the Sabbath 
is to be spent differently from other days, they 
will early have a sense of the sacredness of 
God’s holy time. 

The Sabbath is to be remembered during the 
working days — which means that work will be 




THE REAL HOME 


260 

finished, and plans made that the Sabbath may 
be properly kept. The temporal must not be 
allowed to encroach on the spiritual. We must 
not become too weary to enjoy the Sabbath rest. 
It is not true Sabbath keeping to sleep away the 
holy hours. 

The Sabbath should never be a day of gloom 
and sadness. One little boy said he did not want 
to go to heaven. When questioned why, he re¬ 
plied, 4 4 You know we sing, 

“ ‘Where congregations ne’er break up, 

And Sabbaths have no end.’ 

If we must go to church all the time,” he said, 
44 and every day is Sabbath, I don’t want to 
go there.” 

This little boy’s education had been wrong. 
The Sabbath had not been made a joyful day 
for him. Another child, where the Sabbath had 
always been pleasant, remarked, 44 I wish the 
Sabbath would come every day; it’s too long to 
wait a whole week.” 

The Sabbath is the father’s special oppor¬ 
tunity. That day, he can be at home and in 
touch with his children as at no other time. It 
will be profitable for both father and mother to 
study how to instruct and help their children 
on this day. 

It is a beautiful custom for all the family to 
attend church, sitting in the same pew, all sing¬ 
ing, all bowing in prayer, all listening to the 
service together. 


THE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK 


261 


FAMILY OR DELEGATE-WHICH? 

In some families, the children are sent to 
Sabbath school, and return home as their par¬ 
ents go to the church service. It is far better 
for father and mother to go with the children 
to Sabbath school, and at its close, all remain 
for the regular service. Some one has said: 
“The most beautiful sight from the pulpit is a 
whole family seated together in a pew. The 
church service is not a convention, that a family 
should send a delegate.” 

A gifted writer forcibly says: 

The absence of the children from the service of the sanc¬ 
tuary is one of the alarming evils of our day. There are but 
few congregations where children can be found in any con¬ 
siderable numbers. No one will attempt to deny the sad 
consequences which must follow as the inevitable results of 
such a course. The children at eight years of age who have 
not already begun to form the habit of church attendance, 
and are not quite thoroughly established in it at sixteen, will 
stand a very fair chance of spending their entire life with 
little or no attachments for either the church or religious 
things. The non-churchgoing youth of this decade will be 
the Sabbath breakers and irreligious people of the next.— 
Sylvanus Stall. 

Reverence for the house of God and His wor¬ 
ship is a very important item of the child’s edu¬ 
cation. It should be taught by precept and 
example. Children who attend church services 
and are able to write may be furnished small 
notebooks in which to write the texts and any¬ 
thing they wish to remember. 

When at home, let the children tell what they 
recall of the sermon. Whatever the judgment 



THE REAL HOME 


262 

of parents may be concerning the minister or 
the sermon, they should never under any cir¬ 
cumstances criticize him, his manner, or his 
message, before their children. (Better not do 
it at all.) If this is done, when they would like 
them to receive God’s messenger and His mes¬ 
sage, they will find it regarded with suspicion 
and often with unbelief. 

MAKING SABBATH AFTERNOON PLEASANT 

But it is the afternoon that is the problem 
where there are children of different ages in the 
family. Plans may be carefully arranged, and 
if the weather permits, a walk is both pleasant 
and profitable. The Creator was refreshed by 
viewing His handiwork the first Sabbath, and 
nature is ever a fresh field for contempla¬ 
tion; but — 

“The works of God are fair for naught 
Unless our eyes, in seeing, 

See hidden in the thing, the thought 
That animates its being.” 

One mother suggests this plan: 

“Discover the largest tree within walking distance of 
your home. Find out all you can about it. Take the chil¬ 
dren on a pilgrimage to it once a month for a year. Lead 
them to notice every change, at each visit. Let them dis¬ 
cover the simple facts about it,— its general form, outline 
of branches, shape and distribution of foliage, bud protec¬ 
tion, formation of bark, leaf coloring, and its various mani¬ 
festations of adaptation to season. 

“You will soon find them taking an interest in every tree 
they pass. Then give them a description of trees native to 
your section of country. Help them to discover as many as 
possible and learn to recognize them. 


THE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK 263 

“An interest in bird life may be aroused in a similar 
manner. Introduce the children, if possible, to Mr. and 
Mrs. Robin, or Bluebird, or Oriole, who are setting up house¬ 
keeping. Let them carry string, cotton, feathers, for nest 
building, and later, food for the little ones. They will also 
learn something about birds, and lessons in kindness, 
thoughtfulness, and love of nature. 

“The elements of botany may be learned from the com¬ 
mon flowers. We have spent some of the happiest hours 
lying on our backs in the open, watching the shifting mass 
of clouds — a veritable moving picture show against a screen 
of blue.” 

But the walk, and the study of trees, birds, 
clouds, and flowers, will be purposeless unless 
the children are taught to connect these objects 
with God and His Book. 

There will be occasions when those who are 
sick or in trouble may be visited. The children 
* can carry flowers, fruit, good books or other 
reading, and thus learn to be kind and helpful. 

Very young children may be taught that the 
Sabbath is different from other days. Two little 
girls were presented with dolls and their ward¬ 
robes. After the first gladness, as they looked 
at the dresses and other articles, it was pointed 
out that each doll had three gowns. 

“The ones they have on now,” explained 
Aunt Esther, 4 ‘ are their company dresses. When 
they go visiting, or little girls with their dollies 
come to visit them, these are the dresses to wear. 
This,” taking up a plain gown, “is dolly’s every¬ 
day dress, to be worn at home, while Alice and 
Gwendolyn are helping mamma. And this 
pretty gown is dolly’s Sabbath dress. During 


264 


THE REAL HOME 


the week, it will be folded carefully away; but 
on the day we get ready for Sabbath, Miss Dolly 
can put on her best dress, and be all ready when 
Sabbath comes.” 

If mother sees that such instruction is fol¬ 
lowed, the child will learn a lesson in prepara¬ 
tion for, and observance of, the Sabbath, that 
will not soon be forgotten. 

It is a good plan to have Sabbath books, 
games, blocks, scrapbooks, albums, blackboard, 
slates, crayons, blank paper and pencils, and a 
sand table or box while the children are small. 
All this material should be kept for use only on 
the Sabbath, and will impart freshness and 
novelty. 

Dolls in Sabbath dress may form a Sabbath 
school class, with Margery or Horace as teacher. 
The lesson story for that day can be 6i taught” 
them by the little teachers. One little girl was 
seen to place her dolls in a row and “teach” 
them the memory verses. 

Children may also be allowed to “play 
church” on Sabbath afternoon. Thus lessons 
of proper behavior may be learned. If the older 
people join in this exercise, it will be both profit¬ 
able and entertaining. It should be perfectly 
real, and the children should not be laughed at, 
nor should their cute sayings or doings be re¬ 
peated in their presence. Dolls may form part 
of the congregation, or imaginary people may be 
present in vacant chairs properly placed. 


HHE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK 265 

Begin the service by singing songs the chil¬ 
dren have learned in Sabbath school. The 
Lord’s Prayer may be repeated in concert. If 
a child desires, he may be allowed to give the 
Sabbath school lesson story as a talk, while the 
others listen as they would to a sermon. 

One interesting feature is the collection to be 
taken by one of the children, in a little box or 
basket kept for the purpose. This money may 
be given at Sabbath school or church, or to some 
special offering. It should never be used for 
common purposes. Close the exercises with 
a song. 

This play service, if not long, will not be 
wearisome, for the children will be the actors. 
Even where there is but one child, father, 
mother, and other members of the household can 
join in the service. But all should be reverent, 
and everything should be conducted properly. 

Ordinary games are not to be played as on 
other days, and it should be the pleasure of 
Christian parents to make the hours so happy 
that their children will not look forward to the 
Sabbath with dread. Rather, they will hail its 
coming with delight, as a visit from a friend. 

Mrs. Brown says: “Johnny is so restless, and 
Mary won’t pay attention. I have tried to teach 
'them Bible verses and their Sabbath school les¬ 
sons, but I can’t do anything with them.” 

Mrs. Goodwin says, “I have bought books for 

the children, but they will not use them.” 

✓ «/ 


266 


THE REAL HOME 


Let us visit a home where the parents have 
had some success in solving this problem. 

When dinner is over, four little faces look at 
mother, waiting for something to do. Does she 
put them on four straight-backed chairs, stand 
stiffly before them, Bible in hand, frowning if 
they smile or speak while she drills them on the 
commandments and the psalms ? — O no! She 
says, “ Benny, run and bring your blocks — the 
wooden construction blocks and the stone build¬ 
ing blocks.” The dining room table is cleared, 
while the children eagerly crowd around it. 

4 ‘ What shall we make ? ’ ’ mother inquires. 

“The temple,” answers twelve-year-old Fred. 

Quickly the children build the temple, with 
its courts. 

When it is completed, mother asks, “When 
did we first hear of Jesus in the temple?” 

“When He was a tiny baby,” replies Benny. 

“And what was the next time?” 

Iona answers: “When He talked to the doc¬ 
tors. He was only twelve years old then.” 

“What happened here?” and mother points 
to the court of the gentiles. 

“I know! I know!” cries Fred, jumping up 
and down and almost tilting the table. “Jesus 
turned the tables over, and drove out the sheep 
and the cattle and the money changers.” 

“Can any one tell what He said?” 

“I know,” says little Benny: “ ‘My house 
shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have 
made it a den of thieves.’ ” 


TEE BEST DAY OF TEE WEEK 267 

“Now,” mother asks, “what happened in the 
temple during the crucifixion?” 

After a moment, Fred says, “I don’t know, 
but I can find out. ’ ’ Opening his Bible, he turns 
to the next to the last chapter of Matthew, then 
says, “I’ve found it: 4 The veil of the temple was 
rent in twain.’ ” Iona shows the younger chil¬ 
dren where the veil was. 

Then comes a blackboard exercise. Mother 
draws a shepherd’s crook, and asks for a verse 
which it suggests. 

“ 4 There were in the same country shepherds 
abiding in the field, keeping watch over their 
flock by night,’ ” says Benny. 

Next a star is drawn, and one of the children 

tells the storv of the wise men. 

«/ 

Baby Elsie is elated when mother draws a 
picture of a basket in a river, for she knows the 
story of baby Moses. 

Just then father comes downstairs and tells 
the children he has a new book to read to them. 
Together they look at the pictures and read the 
stories. Then with some songs and a Bible-verse 
contest, the happy afternoon goes quickly by. 

Another Sabbath afternoon, the children 
looked at a box of Scripture pictures. When 
tired of these, they took turns in giving word 
pictures. One said: “I see a sick man by the 
road, and a donkey standing beside him. An¬ 
other man came along and helped him.” Then 
all the rest exclaimed, “The good Samaritan!” 


268 


THE BEAL HOME 


Such an afternoon takes mother’s time; but 
what did the Lord give the mother time for ? Is 
it not better to give such training than to make 
a social call, or to take a nap so she can work 
better the next day ? It will mean much to boys 
and girls to have these hours to look back upon. 

Much of the “ restlessness ” and “ nervous¬ 
ness” of children may be traced to the Sabbath 
dinner, which may be so rich and indigestible 
that it disturbs the whole body. Sabbath meals, 
while palatable, should be simple, and some treat 
not common to other days will give pleasure. 
If there is less elaborate cooking, there will be 
more time for rest. 

A mother writes: 

“One thing which has helped me to keep my little girl 
interested on Sabbath afternoons is her Memory Verse 
Cards. They are all saved, and neatly pasted in a post-card 
album, which makes not only a pretty book, but one that is 
full of interest and stories. 

“On Sabbath afternoon, we look over four or five of the 
cards — not too many at one time, lest she become confused. 
Then I tell her a Bible story, and she guesses which card it 
belongs to. Sometimes she tells the story, and I must guess 
the right card. Often two or three hours are spent very 
happily in this way. 

“Not only does this method help make the Sabbath hours 
a delight to the child, but it firmly fixes in her mind a large 
number of Bible stories.” 

Drills on the names of the books of the Bible, 
their authors, and the number of chapters in 
each, are entertaining and valuable. Such knowl¬ 
edge will be helpful all through life. 


THE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK 269 

After the books of the Bible are learned, 
name one, and ask where it is found; what book 
goes before; which one follows it; as: “What 
book comes before Proverbs? What follows 
it?” Other books may be taken up in the 
same way. 

Conduct a Scripture hunt. That is, name a 
text, and see who can find it first. Of course, 
every child should have a well-bound Bible in 
suitable type as soon as he is able to read, and 
be taught how to care for it. 

Scrapbooks made by the children themselves, 
containing texts and stories from their Sabbath 
school papers and Memory Verse Cards, are 
instructive and interesting. 

If the children have proper home companion¬ 
ship, they Will not feel the need of going visiting 
or pleasure seeking on the Sabbath. It is almost 
impossible for grown folks to confine their con¬ 
versation to proper Sabbath topics when visit¬ 
ing on that day, and surely we cannot expect 
more of children. 

The hour of prayer, like a strong hem, binds 
off the day — an hour when each member of the 
family may pray, and even the youngest not feel 
ashamed. Possibly other days do not permit all 
to unite heart and voice in prayer, but the 
Sabbath does. 

To those who “remember the Sabbath day, 
to keep it holy, ’ ’ it will ever be — 

“The best, the holiest, happiest day, 

The sweetest of the seven.” 



Chapter Seventeen 
THE FAMILY LIBRARY 

“Read, mother, read! Read to your little lad; 

Turn not impatient away, but deep in your heart be glad,— 
Glad of the joyous task. Soon he will learn to read, 

And your eyes will fill with tears to note how the years 
make speed. 

Now, while the time is yours, read to your laddie, read !” 

/Y NE writer has said, “ There is no ship like 
a book to take us worlds away. ’ ’ Certainly 
no one who enjoys good reading has cause for 
loneliness or lack of occupation. 

Mothers and fathers who feel that they have 
not the gift of telling stories to their children, 
have still the opportunity to read to them, thus 
combining entertainment with instruction. 

In recent years, books and periodicals have 
greatly multiplied. The Information Bureau of 
Washington, I). C., is authority for the state¬ 
ment that periodicals have a yearly circulation, 
according to the figures of 1921, as follows: 
dailies, nine hundred fifty million, two hundred 
ninety thousand; weeklies, nine billion, seven 
million, three hundred forty-three thousand; 
monthly publications, nine hundred fifty million, 
two hundred ninety thousand. When to this 
immense number we add the millions of books 
printed and sold every year, we must conclude 
that there is a vast amount of literature read. 

But whether all this reading is beneficial may 
well be questioned. What we read is our mental 

( 270 ) 


TEE FAMILY LIBRARY 


271 

food. It weakens or strengthens character. 
Like food for the body, it needs digestion. One 
may gormandize mentally as well as physically. 
To read that which simply entertains but does 
not'profit, weakens the mind. 

The books Abraham Lincoln read when a bov 

«/ 

were the Bible, much of which he could repeat, 
“ Pilgrim’s Progress/’ “HLsop’s Fables,” 
Weem’s “Life of Washington,” and a “Life of 
Henry Clay.” These books were not read once 
only, and then tossed aside; they were studiously 
read again and again. Such books did much in 
adding simplicity, earnestness, and kindness to 
the character of a man whom the world delights 
to honor. It will not be hard for those who have 
seen the effects of modern reading on children 
to believe that Lincoln’s poverty in books was 
the wealth of his life. Now, because there is a 
multitude of “good books,” there is danger that 
the best shall be neglected. 

THE BEST BOOK 

The Bible towers above all other books in 
point of excellence. It is emphatically the book 
above all others for childhood and youth. 

Thomas Jefferson declared: 

“I have said and always will say that the studious perusal 
of the Sacred Volume will make better citizens, better fa¬ 
thers, and better husbands.” 

Daniel Webster said: 

“If we abide by the principles taught in the Bible, our 
country will go on prospering and to prosper ; but if we and 


TEE REAL HOME 


272 

our posterity neglect its instructions and authority, no man 
can tell how suddenly a catastrophe may overwhelm us and 
bury all our glory in profound obscurity. The Bible is the 
book of all others for lawyers as well as divines, and I pity 
the man who cannot find in it a rich supply of thought and 
rule of conduct.” 

Mrs. Julia McNair Wright, in the Complete 
Home, writes: 

“There is one book which is alone a library in itself. He 
who has not read and reread the English Bible knows noth¬ 
ing of English literature. There is history, there lie biog¬ 
raphy, and travel, and philosophy, and poetry, and depths 
of science, and sweetest romances of youth and love and 
adventure, that have the added glory of being true. The 
Bible is a standard of pure taste; it is a measure and a model 
of the English tongue; more than anything else that has 
been written, it permeates all literature. If we fail to read 
it, to study it, to possess it — then fairest similes and choicest 
allusions and aptest quotations in poet and essayist and 
novelist and historian fall unapprehended upon our stupid 
brains. And I mention this simply as an intellectual point, 
without referring to the fact that here flow, as in a blessed 
fountain, the life currents of the soul.” 

Children are so much more easily impressed 
with spiritual things than we realize! J. Wilbur 
Chapman says this: 

“The Bible has a peculiar way of fastening itself to one's 
memory, and then just at the right moment of stress and 
strain, it asserts itself; and many a scripture learned in 
childhood never loses its force throughout the longest of 
life’s journeys.” 

As literature, the Bible has no equal. Its 
stories are so true, so real, so thrilling, so in¬ 
spiring ! 

As a means of intellectual training, the Bible is more 
effective than any other book, or all other books com- 


THE FAMILY LIBRARY 


273 

bined. . . . The mind thus brought in contact with the 
thoughts of the Infinite cannot but expand and strengthen. 
— “Education” page 124. 

One of the chief causes of mental insufficiency and moral 
weakness is the lack of concentration for worthy ends. We 
pride ourselves on the wide distribution of literature; but 
the multiplication of books, even books that in themselves 
are not harmful, may be a positive evil. With the immense 
tide of printed matter constantly pouring from the press, 
old and young form the habit of reading hastily and super¬ 
ficially, and the mind loses its power of connected and vigor¬ 
ous thought.— Id., page 189. 

It is the privilege of parents to read and 
study the Bible with their children. If father 
and mother are interested in it, the children will 
be. High ideals will be placed before them. 
They will love its stories even when these are 
repeated over and over again. The story of 
creation, of the call of Abraham, of Isaac, of 
the boy Joseph, of little Moses in his ark, of the 
Passover, of Samuel, David, Daniel, the baby 
Jesus; how the Saviour blessed the children, the 
new heaven and earth,— all are so wonderful, so 
appealing to the child as yet unspoiled! There 
are action, real persons, things said and done; 
and the child is fortunate who daily listens to 
the parables and precepts, the history and reve¬ 
lation, of this inspired Book. 

When writing of education among the Scotch 
in his childhood, one writer describes the 
method used: 

Having learned our letters and some small syllables, we 
were at once passed into the book of Proverbs. In olden 
time, this was the universal custom in all the common 


18 



TEE BEAL HOME 


274 

schools in Scotland — a custom that should never have been 
abandoned. That book is without a rival for beginners, 
containing quite a repertory of monosyllables, and pure 
Saxon-English undefiled. . . . 

While learning the art of reading by the book of Prov¬ 
erbs, we had our minds stored with the highest moral truths; 
and by sage advices applicable to all ages and departments 
in life, the mind, while it was supple, received a bent in a 
direction largely favorable to future well-doing and success. 
The patience, prudence, forethought, and economy which 
used to characterize Scotchmen — giving occasion to the 
saying, “a canny Scot”—by which they were able so often 
to rise in the world, and distance competitors in the race of 
life, were, to a large extent, due to their being thus ingrained 
in youth and childhood with the practical wisdom enshrined 
in the book of Proverbs.— John Muir. 

A teacher says: “Though I’ve taught English 
for many years, I’ve never learned of so sure 
and so good a way of enriching a child’s vocabu¬ 
lary as by making the Bible a part of his mental 
life. Nothing in our Anglo-Saxon literature is 
so beautiful and so virile.” 

But never should Bible reading and study be 
made a task or a punishment, but rather a privi¬ 
lege. The child who is told that if he is naughty 
he must sit down and learn his Sabbath school 
lesson or read a whole chapter, regards Bible 
study and reading as a punishment. To be com¬ 
pelled to read to keep him from doing something 
he desires, will not impress him that there is 
anything about such reading that is pleasing or 
profitable. 

Perhaps John Ruskin’s mother was extreme 
in her method of teaching her son the Scrip¬ 
tures, but the training resulted in developing one 


THE FAMILY LIBRARY 


275 


of the best writers of English literature. Rus- 
kin himself says: 

“My mother forced me by steady toil, to learn long chap¬ 
ters of the Bible by heart, as well as to read it every syllable 
through, aloud, hard names and all, from Genesis to Reve¬ 
lation, about once a year; and to that discipline — patient, 
accurate, and resolute — I owe not only a knowledge of the 
Book, but much of my general power of taking pains and 
the best part of my taste in literature. . . . 

“After our chapters (from two to three a day, accord¬ 
ing to their length, the first thing after breakfast, and no 
interruption from servants allowed,— none from visitors, 
who either joined in the reading or had to stay upstairs, and 
none from any visitings or excursions except real traveling), 
I had to learn a few verses by heart, or repeat, to make sure 
I had not lost something of what was already known.” 

Professor Vernon P. Squires, of the Uni¬ 
versity of North Dakota, conducted a quiz on 
the Bible in his English classes, the result of 
which is given in the article which follows: 

Almost daily we come, in our reading, upon allusions to 
the Scriptures, a clear understanding of which is absolutely 
indispensable for the appreciation of the passage in hand. 
But far too often, to the majority of my students, the refer¬ 
ence is meaningless. . . . 

So forcibly has this general ignorance of the Scriptures 
thrust itself upon me that I recently experimented with a 
group of freshmen. I asked them to answer a few simple 
questions in regard to the Bible. It was optional with them 
whether or not they should do so; but one hundred and 
thirty-nine attempted the examination, and I have every 
reason to believe that they took the matter seriously, and 
answered the questions to the best of their ability. I would 
remind my readers that these young people were all high 
school graduates, who had completed fifteen year-units of 
high school work. Most of them come from good homes, 
and they certainly represent a grade of culture considerably 
above the average of the community. 


TEE BEAL HOME 


The questions were as follows: 

1. Wliat is the Pentateuch ? 

2. Name ten books in the Old Testament. 

3. Name ten books in the New Testament. 

4. Into what groups or divisions is the Old Testament 
divided ? 

5. Who was (1) “the apostle to the gentiles”? (2) “the 
beloved disciple”? (3) “the wisest of men"? (4) “the 
strongest man”? (5) “the first murderer”? ✓ 

6. What idea is suggested to your mind by each of the 
following nouns ? (1) Apollos, (2) Cana, (3) Carmel, 

(4) Esther, (5) Hezekiah, (6) Ishmaelites, (7) Jeph- 
thah, (8) Jezebel, (9) Saul, (10) Sinai. 

7. Briefly explain the allusion in each of the following 
passages: 

(1) “When Lazarus left his charnel cave.”— Ten¬ 

nyson. 

(2) “And so the Word had breath, and wrought 

With human hands the creed of creeds.” 

— Tennyson. 

(3) “A hungry impostor practicing for a mess of 

pottage.”— Carlyle. 

(4) “The two St. Johns are the great instances of the 

angelic life.”— Newman. 

(5) “The man of Uz.”— Browning. 

(6) “You stand stiff as Lot’s wife.”— Tennyson. 

(7) “A clamor grew as of a new-world babel.”— 

Tennyson. 

(8) “Jonah’s gourd.”— Tennyson. 

(9) “Except they meant to bathe in reeking wounds, 

Or memorize another Golgotha.”— Shakespeare. 

8. Where did you learn what you know of the Bible — 
at home, at school, church, Sunday school, or else¬ 
where ? 

If we regard seventy per cent as the “passing mark,” 
twelve passed this test. Ninety-one received less than fifty 
per cent; seventy-one received less than forty per cent. 
The average standing of the entire group was about forty 
per cent. 

An analysis of the answers to some of the questions is 
rather interesting. Ten could not name a book in the Old 


THE FAMILY LIBRARY 


277 

Testament, and only sixty-eight answered the question prop¬ 
erly. This is, however, a too liberal allowance, as it is based 
on the acceptance at full value of such spelling as “Deuter- 
omy,” “Deuteromoty,” “Deuterominy,” “Deuderominy,” 
“Goshua, ?J “Salms,” “Nehiamiah,” “Joob,” “Jobe,” “Jeob.” 
Fourteen named “Hezekiah” as one of the books; five named 
“Solomon”; two, the “Book of Moses.” Among original 
ideas was the mentioning as Old Testament books “Paul,” 
“Timothy,” “Titus,” “I and II Romans,” “Phenecians,” 
“Babylonians,” “Gentiles,” “Philistines,” and “Xerxes.” 

The answers in regard to the New Testament were still 
more unsatisfactory. Twelve were unable to mention a 
single book; only forty-six mentioned ten, as requested. 
Five put Samuel in the New Testament; three, the Psalms; 
three, Ruth; and two, Esther. One mentioned “I and II 
Judges.” Seventeen mentioned “Paul,” or “St. Paul,” or 
“Paul’s.” Three suggested “Simon”; two, “Jacob.” There 
were also mentions of “Thelesians,” “Philipi,” “Thomas,” 
“Lazarus,” and “Samson Agonistes.” 

The answers to question four were too varied and vague 
to be reported here. Question five brought several surprises. 
I will mention two. The expression, “The apostle to the gen¬ 
tiles,” is so common that I at first hesitated to include it. It 
seemed to me that every one would answer it correctly. 
To my surprise, twenty-seven made no attempt at an answer. 
Seventy-two replied correctly, twelve voting for John, twelve 
for Jesus, twelve for Abraham, five for Peter, John the 
Baptist, Judas, Moses, Jacob, and Methuselah. As to “the 
beloved disciple,” sixty-eight were right; twenty made no 
attempt; thirty-seven (strange to say) guessed Peter, while 
others named Paul, James, Jesus, Abraham, and David. 

In question six I confess to have intentionally included 
one or more pitfalls. For instance, I expected some would 
be confused by the name “Apollos.” The results, however, 
exceeded all expectations. Seventy-four (over one half) 
made no attempt at an answer. Eleven others answered so 
vaguely as to be unintelligible. Twenty-six declared it to 
be the name of a Greek (or heathen) god. Only seven gave 
answers which were clearly correct. Four thought it meant 
a mountain; three, a town. Others answered “a king,” “a 
giant,” “an apostle of the Greek Church,” “another name for 
Paul.” In regard to Cana, too, I expected some confu- 


TEE REAL HOME 


278 

sion. The results were as follows: No attempt, forty-nine; 
altogether vague, twenty; “the Promised Land,” fairly cor¬ 
rect, twenty-eight. Other answers were “a mountain,” “a 
desert,” “a land in Egypt,” “the first murderer,” “a battle 
fought in Italy.” 

“Hezekiah” was included in the list with the knowledge 
that for some reason or other a good many people have the 
idea that there is a book in the Old Testament bearing this 
name. Eighty in the class made no attempt at an answer; 
fourteen got it right. Other answers were “a mountain,” 
“an idolater,” “a priest,” “a woman,” while one said that 
to him it suggested “the handwriting on the wall.” 

“Jezebel” is a name used so frequently to suggest a vi¬ 
rago, or wicked woman, that I really expected a large per¬ 
centage of correct replies. To my surprise, one hundred 
and one left the answer blank; thirty answered it correctly; 
five thought it the name of a man. One wrote, “A prophetess 
in the temple”; and one, by a peculiar confusion of ideas, 
replied, “A wicked woman who demanded the head of Paul.” 

But it is hardly necessary to go into further details. I 
will add a few words about question eight. To this, only 
sixteen failed to reply. Ninety-one said they had attended 
Sunday school. Sixty-eight mentioned the home as one of 
their sources of Biblical knowledge. It was noticeable that 
with a single exception, every one who passed emphasized 
the home. The writer of the best paper said, “Especially at 
home”; the writer of the next best paper, “Mostly at home 
and by personal study.” This emphasis on the home is, I 
believe, suggestive. Biblical knowledge cannot be taught by 
ordinary Sunday school methods any more than other sorts 
of knowledge could be so taught. The only means to exact 
information is study — hard, painstaking study. Nor can 
Biblical study be carried on in school. There would be 
trouble at once, were it attempted. But the home remains — 
the home, which, after all, is the logical place for religious 
instruction .—“Journal of Education ” 

LOST OPPORTUNITIES 

A father or mother who can read aloud well — 
read so the children see and feel what is read 
—possesses a wonderful power for entertain- 



THE FAMILY LIBRARY 279 

ment and instruction. Most children love to 
listen to reading. They prefer it to reading 
themselves. They can then more easily ask ques¬ 
tions about what is not understood, the meaning 
of hard words may be explained, the lesson 
enforced. 

But to read in a monotone without interest or 
expression will not be profitable. If one cannot 
read well, let him learn how, and boys and girls 
will not be unduly critical. The reading should 
not be too long. Let the interest and other cir¬ 
cumstances determine its length. 

And parents may permit the child or youth 
to read to them. By this means, their ability to 
read will be improved. One great fault to be 
corrected, both in speaking and in reading, is 
that of pronouncing words indistinctly. Teach 
children to enunciate clearly, and to cultivate a 
pleasant voice in reading and talking. There 
are far too few really good readers even among 
people of education and refinement. 

A library is indispensable to the family where 
that which is best is prized. Besides the Bible, 
there are many books one can read with profit. 
The furnishings of the home may be plain; but 
if those dwelling there have the companionship 
of good books, there will not be a dull moment. 
Culture and contentment will be present, for the 
mind associates with the best of earth. If par¬ 
ents have not had opportunities for education, 
they can do much to make up this lack by wise 
reading. 


THE BEAL HOME 


280 

Not only will children be interested in what 
interests the parents, but in that which is daily 
talked about at the table and the fireside. It 
will be useless to bring good books into the home 
and expect the children to enjoy reading them 
by themselves when father and mother take no 
interest in reading. Where parents lead, the 
children will follow. 

One woman was lamenting that her boy was 
a trouble instead of a comfort to her. When the 
reason was asked, she said: 

“It’s his reading mostly, I think. I don’t 
know where he acquired a taste for those vicious 
novels. I’ve tried to be careful with him. I’ve 
forbidden any literature of that sort to be 
brought into the house at all. Why, when he 
was old enough to read, I even stopped the sub¬ 
scriptions of two of my household journals, 
because there were so many cheap stories in 
them. I was also careful that he did not get any 
of that kind of reading from the neighbors’ chil¬ 
dren. Really, I do not see what else I could 
have done. Now he has developed a craze for 
cheap novels. Where in the world he gets them, 
I don’t know. He is filled with all sorts of fool¬ 
ish notions. He is getting beyond my reach; I 
don’t know what to do with him.” 

When this mother was asked if she had sup¬ 
plied her boy with good reading, she replied: 

“No, honestly, I did not, I well remember 
when he was just a wee boy, how, when tired of 
play, he would come pulling on my skirts and 


THE FAMILY LIBRARY 


281 


beg for a story. 6 Please, mamma, tell me a 
story! I’m tired of playing all the time. Oh, 
please, mamma!’ he would implore. But I 
would say: ‘Now, sonny, mamma is busy. When 
she gets time, she will read you a story.’ He 
would go away discouraged, for he knew I never 
had much time. I was usually too busy. 

“Soon he didn’t ask me any more. He 
learned to read for himself, and would entertain 
himself with his books. He read fairy stories, 
but I forbade him to read them. But how he 
did love stories! No, I didn’t trouble about 
finding things for him to read. Of course, there 
are good books in our library, but not many of 
them would appeal to a boy.” 

This mother failed, as others fail, in not di¬ 
recting her boy’s reading. Had she told him the 
stories he craved, and, as he grew older, read 
that which was suited to his age, and talked with 
him about what was read, she would have saved 
the boy, and also saved herself many tears and 
regrets. But she was “usually too busy.” 

By changing one word of a question asked by 
the Master, we may inquire, “How much then 
is a boy better than a sheep'?” Which is of 
greater value, the boy or girl, or the housekeep¬ 
ing, the business, or pleasure? 

One writer declares: “One may become a 
veritable slave to the fiction habit, as much a 
slave as the drunkard or the opium fiend. And 
the taste, once acquired, is broken only by the 
most determined effort, and even then one can- 


282 


THE REAL HOME 


not always be sure that it is conquered; for it 
clings to one like the leprosy. Beware of allow¬ 
ing this pernicious and mind-destroying habit to 
fasten itself upon you.” 

Many lose their health and become invalids 
because of pernicious reading. Some are 
scarcely sane, because their novel reading creates 
nervousness; it wearies the brain, and the whole 
body suffers. Mental dyspeptics are common; 
and by reading fiction, they unfit themselves for 
the practical duties of life. They seem dazed, 
are easily irritated, and delight in nothing so 
much as daydreaming, fancying themselves 
heroes or heroines, living an exciting, unreal 
life. The mind becomes like a babbling brook, 
the water running to w T aste over its rocky channel. 

It is well known that boys and young men are 
incited to commit robbery, to murder, and to 
give themselves up to the indulgence of evil, by 
reading stories of crime. The basest passions 
are aroused and indulged because of reading 
love stories and sentimental rottenness. 

THE DEMAND FOR FICTION 

Publishers have learned that to print stories 
spells financial success. The people demand 
them, and with few exceptions, the magazines 
that ignore the popular taste are not “good 
sellers.” A little saving salt is found in some 
magazines, in the form of well-written articles 
on science, travel, or national affairs; but this 
part is passed over by the story fiend, who buries 


THE FAMILY LIBRARY 


283 


his face in the fascinating tales which fill the 
other pages. Dealers supply that which the 
people demand, that which brings them most 
money. Lies are welcomed as truth, and truth 
is treated as a lie. Such literature loads tables 
and shelves in the most elegant homes. It is 
found in families called Christian; it is every¬ 
where. 

HOW SHALL WE TEST OUR READING ? 

Let us insist that our books and periodicals, 
when read, shall leave us stronger, purer, wiser, 
and better than before we read them. Some one 
has said : 4 ‘ Character in books is needed as much 
as in men. Let us insist that the books that we 
admit into our lives shall first of all be pure 
and clean” 

The acid test which should always be applied 
to our reading is, Will this book or magazine 
take away my relish for reading the Bible ? Can 
I ask God’s blessing upon me while reading it? 
Would I feel ashamed to answer if Christ 
should stand before me and ask, What are you 
reading ? 

TESTIMONY OF A DIME NOVEL WRITER 

In the Ladies’ Home Journal, an article ap¬ 
peared, written by the author of one hundred 
twenty-five “dime novels.” He says the pub¬ 
lishers found the demand for “thrillers” was 
decreasing, so they planned the writing and 
publishing of what they termed “a good series,” 
which was a rehash of the dime novel, with some 


THE BEAL HOME 


284 

of the incentives to crime omitted, and-showing 
that punishment overtook the wrongdoer. 

The writer concludes his article with this 
statement: “I have become disgusted with the 
whole business. Never will I write another 
‘factory’ story.’’ Yet these books were adver¬ 
tised as “fit for any home.” 

KNOW WHAT YOUR CHILDREN READ 

Parents and teachers should be alarmed. If 
they themselves are addicted to the story-reading 
habit, let them first take themselves in hand and 
gain the victory. It will not be an easy task, as 
those can testify who have undertaken it. But 
there is a mighty Helper who has never failed to 
win in every conflict with evil. If the mental 
inebriate will flee to Him for strength, if he or 
she will determine to overcome, the battle will 
be won. 

But one must not venture on forbidden 
ground. The evil is so fascinating, so bewitch¬ 
ing, so overpowering, there must be no dallying 
with temptation. Of all ills, mind sickness is 
most difficult to cure; and those who feed their 
minds on trash are sick. But there is healing 
if they will accept it. 

The only safe course is to allow in the home 
no books or periodicals that have not been care¬ 
fully tested. Provide the best. Subscribe for 
periodicals that are informing.' Let them be 
addressed to the children, so they will feel that 
such papers and books are their own property. 


THE FAMILY LIBRARY 285 

Read to them and with them, and so prevent the 
formation of the story habit. Come, let us read 
with our children. 

In one home provided with popular litera¬ 
ture, the son, a lad of ten or twelve-, read in the 
book of Acts about the Ephesians who were con¬ 
verted when they heard Paul preach. These 
Ephesians had in their possession books on 
“curious arts”—books on divination, contain¬ 
ing rules and forms for communication with evil 
spirits. They decided to burn their books in a 
public bonfire; and when the value was com¬ 
puted, it was found to be between nine and ten 
thousand dollars. 

After the boy had read this story in the Bible, 
he concluded that some of his books were unfit 
for a Christian lad to read; so, forthwith, he 
gathered them together, took them to the back 
yard, and burned them. If this example were 
followed by others, a blessing would result. If 
parents find books or periodicals that will injure 
their children, they had better burn them and 
disinfect their homes. 

Herbert D. Ward, whose father edited the 
Independent, and who is himself a scholar of 
rare attainments, relates how his father saved 
him from reading sensational literature. * 

In his home, there was a large upholstered 
chair; and where the back and the seat met, 
there was a deep place where articles could 
easily be hidden. In this chair the father sat 


TEE REAL HOME 


286 

while conducting family worship. In the family 
were tw r o aunts and a grandmother. 

Mr. Ward says: 

“On one occasion, when my father had finished his 
prayer, he arose to his feet with a most lurid sheet in his 
hand. It was a boys’ cheap weekly. . . . Spreading this 
interloper out in his hand so that its vulgar indecencies 
could easily be seen, he glared at his younger sister. 

“ ‘Hetta, I am surprised at your hiding such a thing 
as this!’ 

“‘But, William/ she most indignantly replied, ‘I never 
saw it before.’ 

“Turning to the older sister, he said, ‘Susan, confess!’ 

“ ‘I wouldn’t touch it with the tongs.’ 

“In the meanwhile, the son was squirming in his chair. 
Then the editor turned to his aged stepmother. . . . 

“ ‘Mother!’ His voice was raised accusingly. ‘Then it 
is you who has brought this literature into my house.’ 

“The old lady had little imagination and no sense of 
humor. With great dignity she arose from her chair. 

“ ‘William! How dare you insult your mother in this 
fashion?’ She swept from the room. 

“Then my father’s gaze turned slowly to me. He 
crumpled the offending sheets in his hands and threw them 
into the open fire. His face relaxed, and lit with a proud 
smile. 

“ ‘I don't have to ask you!’ he said, ‘for surely my son 
could not read anything so vile as this.’ 

“That was the last vulgar periodical I bought or read. 
For months, my ears rang with that gentle, cutting rebuke. 
That episode did as much to stimulate me to good reading 
as the example of the ever-studious family itself.” 

Let there be bright, cheerful literature in the 
home. Boys like magazines and books which 
deal with mechanical devices and electricity and 
travel and exploration and wholesome adventure. 


TEE FAMILY LIBRARY 


287 

One lad who used his spare time in making 
an electric fan and a toy automobile, was asked 
where he obtained his knowledge. 

‘ ‘ I read a book I found in the public library, ’ ’ 
he replied. 

“Have you read more than one?” 

“Yes, quite a number. There were forty or 
more books in the library on electricity, but I 
read only about half of them.” 

“Think what reading, if it is well ordered, can do for 
us,” says Amos R. Wells. “It introduces us to the best and 
wisest and strongest of all the past and present, and tells 
us more about them than their closest friends could know. 
It renders us participants in all the stirring scenes of human 
history, admitting us to the council chambers of kings, the 
cabinets of presidents, the consultations of great generals. 
It gives us the advantages of travel, transports us instantly 
to the pampas of Brazil, the steppes of Russia, the forests 
of Alaska, or the Strand of London. It carries us where 
only the most fortunate and courageous explorers have gone, 
and gives us, in an hour, the experience of years. It admits 
us also to the secrets of nature, and familiarizes us with the 
high designs of the universe. Carried safely in its paper 
canoe, we float backward on the stream of time, see ante¬ 
diluvian monsters along the banks, pass amid forests of 
strange foliage, and watch new continents arising from the 
deep. Lifted on its paper wings, we fly to other worlds, . . . 
consort with the comets and the meteors, and grow at home 
in Orion and the Pleiades.” 

Almost all books and papers are now illus¬ 
trated. Pictures make a deeper impression than 
words on the mind of a child. If only the best 
of papers and books are allowed, we have little 
to fear from the pictures in them. But those in 
which scenes of crime and violence are repre- 


t 


THE REAL HOME 


288 

sentecl will tend to send children within prison 
walls in later years. 

One writer has said: “Pictures of fashions 
also distract the mind from better things and 
turn many a foolish head. They need be con¬ 
sulted only often enough to insure being neatly, 
tastefully dressed. ’ ? 

The highly colored “funny page” of the 
newspaper is one of absorbing interest to most 
children. Edward Bok, editor of the Ladies' 
Home Journal, wrote an excellent article on this 
subject, showing that such pictures teach disre¬ 
spect for parents, teachers, friends, and for 
God, portraying all sorts of tricks which we 
would not wish our children to copy. 

THE ART OF CONVERSING 

What is more attractive than the family 
seated at the table at mealtime, each eager to 
add to the pleasure, all talking, listening, smil¬ 
ing, all united in fellowship with one another? 
Father has reserved some experience or anec¬ 
dote, and tells it for the entertainment of all. 

Mother also takes part. One woman says: 
“I try to have some subject for conversation, 
just as I try to have good food. If there is an 
entertaining story, a kind-tempered joke, some 
success or pleasure any one has to relate, I try 
to have it kept for mealtime. A good laugh, 
cheerful talk, pleasant, kindly manners, help a 
meal wonderfully. I will not permit distressing 
ills to be discussed, nor will I have grumbling or 


THE FAMILY LIBRARY 289 

disputing. We seldom talk of our work. We 
take time for our meals, and make that one of 
the happiest hours of the day. Each meal is a 
sort of festival, no matter how plain it may he. 
That is the time we get acquainted with one 
another.” 

This woman was complimented on the neat 
appearance of her husband and children at the 
table. She replied that much of health and 
family affection depends on the way the meals 
are eaten. Her husband and sons did not come 
to the table until they had carefully washed and 
combed. Each had a pair of slippers and a coat 
near the wash room, which were quickly donned 
after work in field or shop. When at table, they 
looked neat; and each laid aside for the hour 
the work he was doing, and was ready for the 
social treat as well as the food placed before him. 

Parents will reap rich reward if they will 
take thought to prepare their minds for home 
conversation. The golden rule will banish from 
the table, and from other places, the faultfinding 
and criticism of others. Father will be espe¬ 
cially deferential and respectful in his talk to 
mother and in his treatment of her before the 
children. Mother will delight to please father. 
Thus children will learn to speak to parents 
with respect, and will copy their virtues. 

Where there are children, the general conver¬ 
sation, if well directed, will not exclude them. 
All topics which they cannot understand will be 
kept for discussion when they are not present. 


19 


290 


THE REAL HOME 


There is so much of interest taking place in the 
world, so much that is inviting and entertaining 
in literature, that no occasion when the family 
can be together should be dull and lifeless. 

Read only that which is best, then talk of 
what is read. Thus reading and conversation 
will be closely allied, and each will serve the 
other. 


Chapter Eighteen 
WORLDLY AMUSEMENTS 

“Pleasures are like poppies spread — 

You seize the flower, the bloom is dead; 

Or like the snowdrift in the river, 

A moment white, then lost forever.” 

A MAN wlio wished to he a Christian was 
saddened by the thought that he must de¬ 
prive himself of many pleasures he had before 
enjoyed. 

“I shall have to give up so much!” he said. 
“There are many things I can do now that I 
can’t do then.” 

“But,” said one who heard his lament, “there 
are many things you cannot do now. You can’t 
eat mud, nor drink it.” 

“No,” was the reply; “but I don’t want to do 
anything like that.” 

“Surely not,” came the answer; “and when 
you become a real Christian, everything you 
loved before that is sinful will be distasteful to 
you. You will not wish to indulge in anything 
that would grieve your best Friend. He asks 
you to give up nothing except that which would 
hinder your being brought into personal rela¬ 
tionship with Him. You do not surrender your 
liberty, but your slavery to that which is harm¬ 
ful and wrong. As Christians, we do as we 
please, because we please to do that which God 
approves.” 


( 291 ) 


292 


THE BEAL HOME 


There has been much discussion, and much 
has been written, on the topic of pleasures in 
which many commonly indulge, and which they 
believe to be not only pleasant but harmless. 
Whether attendance at theaters, card parties, 
picture shows, dances, and other popular sports 
and games is wrong is questioned. It is urged 
that many Christian people patronize them, that 
ministers and other good men declare they are 
educational; and why is it wrong for a person 
to add to his enjoyment by attending any place 
of amusement he chooses? 

It will not be questioned that the love of pleas¬ 
ure has greatly increased. The Bible declares 
that in the last days, men will be “lovers of 
pleasures more than lovers of God.” Church 
pews are empty, while seats in the playhouses 
are filled. People go in crowds to races, ball 
games, and other “sports.” They go because 
they love the entertainment they find there. 

The war-tax receipts show that America’s ex¬ 
penditure on amusements is about four hundred 
million dollars each month. The love of pleas¬ 
ure is so intense that the heavens are aglow 
with the light that streams from places of 
amusement in our cities. 

In an address before the National Educa¬ 
tional Association, Dr. Henry Van Dyke gave 
attention to the nudity and vulgarity that are 
so persistently flaunted before the world on the 
stage and elsewhere. He said: 


WORLDLY AMUSEMENTS 


293 

“We must exclude deadly art as we would deadly 
weapons. But do not rely on law to make people virtuous. 
This must be a matter of spirit. What we need is more 
moral sense, not subject to sleeping sickness, and not more 
statutes.” 

Sisley Huddleson states the facts more fully 
in “The Menace of the World/’ in the Atlantic 
Monthly for May, 1920: 

“There is, first, this crazy seeking after artificial amuse¬ 
ments, general^ of an unpleasant kind; there is a love of 
display that runs to the utmost eccentricity; there is a wave 
of criminality; there is unscrupulous profiteering, a cynical 
disregard of suffering; a mad desire to get rich quickly, no 
matter by what means; and there is reluctance to do any 
genuine work. . . . Men’s mental outlook has changed. 
Those who were sober, industrious citizens, content to rear 
their families and to walk usefully and humbly in the world, 
are now stricken by the wild notion of having a ‘good 
time/—a good time that means the easy earning of ques¬ 
tionable money, its prodigal dispersal, forgetfulness of the 
family, . . . and a lowering of moral values, a debasing 
of intellect.” 

Bishop Thomas Nicholson made an appeal to 
the Methodist Episcopal ministry, in which he 
made the following statement: 

“People have more leisure than ever before. Men who 
care no more about religion and morals than a dog are mak¬ 
ing themselves multimillionaires out of the recreations of 
the people. Is it any wonder the divorce courts are over¬ 
crowded ?” 

It is said that in far-away China, the name of 
a noted motion-picture performer is known in 
every family. He commands a salary of more 
than a million dollars a year for making the 
world laugh. 


294 


THE REAL HOME 


One who makes cartoons for the daily news¬ 
papers receives a salary of two hundred fifty 
thousand dollars yearly for drawing one cartoon 
a dav. The reason these men command such 
salaries is because the people generally demand 
this kind of entertainment. 

THE BUSINESS OF MAKE-BELIEVE 

There are two hundred seventy so-called first- 
class theaters in New York City, not counting 
those exclusively devoted to movies, according 
to figures given in the Saturday Evening Post 
of February 28, 1920. These theaters have an 
audience of eight million people each week dur¬ 
ing the season. The Post says that “the theat¬ 
rical business is an industry with a total money 
turnover greater than that of any other business 
on earth. There are eighteen thousand motion- 
picture theaters in the United States, with an 
aggregate daily attendance of more than twenty 
millions of people.” 

Yet it was not till the world’s fair in Chicago 
in 1893, that the first moving-picture machine 
was exhibited. This shows how amazingly this 
business has grown, until it now ranks as fourth 
among industries in this country. 

And what do the theaters give back for the 
millions of dollars given them by the people ? — 
Lowered ideas of morality, lost time spent in 
contemplating the evil passions of men, bad as¬ 
sociations, an excitement that is called pleasure. 
“Wherefore this waste?” 


WORLDLY AMUSEMENTS 295 

“But there are good, liigh-class plays,” ob¬ 
jects the theatergoer. 

Bead the testimony of actors themselves with 
reference to the character of the theater. These 
testimonials, quoted by A. C. Dixon in the West¬ 
er n Recorder, come from those most familiar 
with its workings. 

“None of my children/ 5 said Macready, the actor, “shall 
ever with my consent or on any pretense enter a theater 
or have any visiting connections with actors or actresses/ 5 

Dumas, the playwright, wrote to a friend: 

“Yon do not take your daughter to see my play? You 
are right. Let me say once for all, you must not take your 
daughter to the theater. It is not mainly the work that is 
immoral; it is the place. 55 

E. H. Sothern, in a newspaper article over 
his own name, says: 

“I have known some of our best performers who have 
found it necessary first to attend and see a play before they 
would allow their wives and daughters to go. Why ? — Be¬ 
cause they knew there was very little cleanness in those 
places; and who better than they should know? 55 

One of America’s most noted writers, 
speakers, and diplomatists, Dr. Henry Van 
Dyke, of Princeton, New Jersey, in an address 
given before the National Educational Associa¬ 
tion, said: 

“From some plays one sees each season in New York, 
one might infer that there was only one commandment, the 
seventh, and mankind knew but one pleasure, breaking it. 55 

The stage is an index of the morals of the 
times. Some apologize for its indecencies, say- 


TEE BEAL HOME 


296 

ing that if we were right ourselves, we should 
get good at the theater instead of evil. It would 
he nearer the truth to say that if we were right, 
the stage would so disgust us that we would have 
nothing to do with it. 

By beholding, we “are changed into the same 
image.” If we love to look upon sin, we soon 
love the sin itself. It may be gilded and charm¬ 
ing to the senses, hut the poisonous fangs of the 
serpent are there. 

Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, 

As, to be hated, needs but to be seen; 

Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, 

We first endure, then pity, then embrace. 

— Pope. 

THE THEATER PRESENTS A DEGENERATE LIFE 

Henry W. Stough charges the theater with 
breaking down the moral barriers of the 
audience: 

“How can a young man and a young woman who have 
come together to enjoy the play, and have looked upon and 
have listened to such things, fail to be contaminated ? When 
they go home, they naturally are impelled to discuss what 
they have seen and heard. As one scene after another of 
the various acts is reviewed, and the oaths, curses, innu¬ 
endoes, compromising positions, false morals, and vile 
costuming are discussed, they are bound to break down the 
barriers of modesty and reserve between them. Such con¬ 
versation courts familiarity about topics that young people 
should never discuss together. The result is that each loses 
a certain respect for the other, making it more easy for them 
to talk about such things on other occasions, and at least 
tempting them to do the same things, especially when the 
theater’s false morals are also adopted. If the theater be a 
means of culture and education, and yet such things as are 


WORLDLY AMUSEMENTS 


297 


seen there cannot be even safely discussed by young people, 
let alone practiced, then where is the moral value of the 
theater V 9 

With such an array of facts before us, can we 
conclude that the theater provides safe environ¬ 
ment and entertainment for those who would be 
pure in character? 

The following question and answer appeared 
in the Christian Endeavor World. The answer 
is given by Mrs. G. R. Alden, popularly known 
as ‘ 4 Pansy.” 

“'Will you give several reasons why a Christian should 
not attend the theaterV 

“In compliance with this request, let me quote a few 
sentences from several authors: 

“ ‘Whatever may have been the character of actors and 
actresses when they went on the stage, it is undeniable that 
in multitudes of cases the stage has worked its degenera¬ 
tion. . . . Henry Irving committed at least fifteen thousand 
murders on the stage. Miss Ada Cavandish was betrayed, 
deserted, or abducted fifty-six hundred times. And true 
acting consists in entering into the spirit of the murderer, 
the betrayer, etc/ 

“‘What cannot be done without a tendency to moral 
harm cannot be seen without a tendency to moral harm/ ” 

THE MOVIE GRAZE 

In his book, “ Motion Pictures in a Typical 
City,” J. J. Phelan states these facts: 

“The city selected for study is Toledo, Ohio, and it is 
shown that the seating capacity of the motion-picture thea¬ 
ters of that city is forty-eight thousand people. The weekly 
attendance is three hundred and sixteen thousand, which is 
greater than the population of the city. As an economic 
factor in the life of the city, the movie show is important, 
for the investment in playhouses is over six million dollars, 
and the annual revenue is two millions four hundred and 


298 


THE REAL HOME 


fifty-seven thousand dollars. A study is made of the patrons 
of the shows, and the facts indicate that forty per cent of 
the attendants are men, thirty-five per cent women, and 
twenty-five per cent children. A large number of the chil¬ 
dren attend the shows without chaperons. The danger to 
the children is held to be considerable. There is the physical 
menace of late hours and of eyestrain. The moral menace 
is still greater. Many of the pictures might be considered 
as relatively harmless for adults which cultivate in children 
unwholesome curiosity. Instances are adduced which indi¬ 
cate that juvenile crime can be definitely traced to the influ¬ 
ence of movie shows.” 

“The moving-picture show is doing more to 
ruin the youth of to-day than the liquor traffic 
ever thought of doing,’’ states Judge Phillips, 
of the Juvenile Court of Denver, Colorado. 

The Outlook for October 28, 1914, contains a 
paragraph worth quoting: 

“At this moment, so far as children can be vulgarized 
through the eye, American children are in the process of 
vulgarization. In too many moving-picture theaters, many 
of the scenes which they are invited to look at rob life of its 
dignity, refinement, and sentiment. The love-making which 
is seen on a thousand stages is not actually indecent, but it 
is grossly vulgar; and no boy can look at these pictures with¬ 
out thinking more cheaply of women. It is perhaps not too 
much to say that most of the moving pictures representing 
love scenes turn love into broad and cheap farce. Many of 
these pictures, moreover, are highly offensive because they 
familiarize children with scenes of cruelty.” 

\ 

Teachers complain that children do not de¬ 
velop mentally as they should. They have come 
to the conclusion that thousands of them spend 
their time at the moving-picture shows instead 
of studying their lessons. 


WORLDLY AMUSEMENTS 


299 

It is enlightening to note what officers of the 
law say with reference to the influence popular 
motion pictures have upon the morals of chil¬ 
dren who attend them: 

The most insidious suggestion of evil in the land to-day. 
— A Pinkerton detective. 

In every performance some ignoble suggestion.— Dr. 
Winfield Hall, a leading authority on social ethics. 

The worst said has not been strong enough.— Judge 
Landis, of the United States District Court. 

Judge S. Graham, of Port Huron, Michigan, gives this 
as bis testimony: “All delinquents brought before me are 
frequenters of motion-picture shows.” 

Judge Henry A. Fuller, of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, 
declares, “The motion picture that is not legally regulated 
will do more harm than all the saloons.” 

The Christian Herald says: “Crime is increasing two 
and one half times faster among children than among 
adults, and the juvenile court judges of this country agree 
that the crime-creative film is largely responsible for this 
condition. . . . This country and every other country in¬ 
vaded by the motion-picture show, faces one of the gravest 
problems that has ever been dealt with by any nation.” 

“ Since moving pictures were introduced, ju¬ 
venile delinquency has increased to an alarming 
extent,” is the testimony of Mrs. Ellen A. 
O’Grady, fifth deputy police commissioner of 
New York City, in an address delivered in New 
York. Commissioner O’Grady continued: 

“Seventeen years ago, when I first came into this work, 
it was the exceptional thing to see a little girl, say from 
twelve to sixteen years old, ruined. Now it is the rule. 

“Do you want to know the reason? — It is the moving 
picture. Children are thinking lust all the time, and they 
get it from the pictures. If you do not believe me, listen to 
this list of pictures which are being shown in the theaters 


300 THE real home 

of the city to-night and which children are attending and 
absorbing.” 

She then read off a list of plays. 

Ralph Parlett, in “The University of Hard 
Knocks, ’ ’ says: 

"Look over the bills of the movies, look over the news 
stands, and see a picture of the popular mind, for these 
places keep just what the people want to buy. What a lot 
of mental frog pond and moral scum our boys and girls wade 
through! There are ten literary drunkards to one alcoholic 
drunkard. There are a hundred amusement drunkards to 
one victim of strong drink. And all are just as hard to cure.” 

Miss Kate Davis, founder and president of 
the National Legal Regulation League, gives an 
excerpt, in the Mother's Magazine, from an ad¬ 
dress delivered by “one of the best-known men 
in the moving-picture business,” to a Parent- 
Teacher Association in one of our most pro¬ 
gressive cities. The speaker said: 

“You mothers are responsible for what your children do 
and see. It is your business to know where your children 
are and to take care of them. You cannot expect the 
moving-picture men to take care of your children.” 

In Cleveland, Ohio, a committee of repre¬ 
sentative citizens made a study of the moving- 
picture shows of the city, and gave this report. 
We quote it from M. E. Kern, in the Youth's 
Instructor: 

“They found that forty per cent of the two hundred and 
ninety films examined were unfit for children to see; four¬ 
teen per cent represented robbery; thirteen per cent mur¬ 
ders; eight presented indecent suggestions; five portrayed 
domestic infidelity. Others represented loose ideas of mar- 


WORLDLY AMUSEMENTS 301 

riage, kidnaping, and suicide. They also found that twenty- 
one per cent of the evening audiences were under eighteen 
years of age. A chief of police reports that many criminals 
who come under his charge confess that their fall came as 
a result of reading exciting tales of crime. This is unques¬ 
tionably true. Others trace their fall to picture scenes of 
violence or to the theater.” 

The value of the moving picture, when rightly 
used, as a means of education, is confessed. 
While it might do great good, yet the minds of 
the majority prefer the wild, unnatural, excit¬ 
ing, thrilling. Educational, instructive films are 
sometimes advertised and exhibited; but these 
do not “draw.” Interspersed with them are 
others of questionable character; so we have a 
mixture of the 4 4 knowledge of good and evil, ’ ’ as 
in our sensational dailies. There are sources of 
pleasure where only the good is found. It were 
better to obtain our education and pleasure 
from these. 

44 IS IT WRONG TO DANCE?” 

How often this question is asked! Those who 
sincerely wish to know the right way are en¬ 
titled to a fair answer. They must he given evi¬ 
dence based on experience. They should know 
the results of dancing, and why it is not best for 
those to dance who would lead pure, Christian 
lives. 

Let us question the dance: Does it make men 
and women better morally and spiritually f 

One writer has said, 4 4 The modern dance is 
sensuality set to music.” 


THE REAL HOME 


302 

We certainly have enough sensuality without 
cultivating it. Many Christian workers have 
been told, “If I must quit dancing, I will not 
become a Christian.” Others say, “If I become 
a Christian, I know I must give up dancing.” 
The dance does not increase spirituality and 
hatred for sin. 

Does it add to modesty, purity, honor, and 
strength of character? 

A Chicago paper says: 

“Any fool knows that young people do not go to dances 
to shuffle around the floor to ragtime. They go to hug and 
squeeze the girls sent out by their mothers without chap¬ 
erons, dressed in the latest styles of negligees,— half 
dressed,— to dance with young men who take them home.” 

District Attorney Zabel, of Milwaukee, ac¬ 
cording to the Lutheran, bears this positive 
testimony: 

“Ninety per cent of the cases of juvenile delinquency 
that come to the district attorney’s office start in the dance 
halls. The dance hall situation is even worse than it has 
been painted. The dance halls where liquor is not sold are 
ultimately the cause of more trouble than the others, because 
parents allow their children to go to them when they would 
not allow them to go to the halls where liquor is sold. Not 
that anything very bad happens in the dance hall. It is 
simply a convenient meeting place, where no introduction is 
required. From there the young girls are taken to other 
places. Young girls — good girls — go there night after 
night, but they do not remain good very long. They meet 
other girls, and unscrupulous men who do not hesitate to 
take advantage of them. The woman of the street and the 
young girl meet in the dance hall on an equal footing, and 
the young girl soon becomes a woman of the street. I could 
name one dance hall that is responsible for the ruin of one 
young girl every day in the year — yes, and even more.” 


WORLDLY AMUSEMENTS 303 

Does dancing exalt high ideals in the home, 
and strengthen family ties? 

Dr. Charles A. Eaton, pastor of the Madison 
Avenue Baptist church of New York City, ad¬ 
dressed himself to modern dances and present- 
day social conditions, in this significant language : 

“The new style of dance is a craze and a form of nervous 
degeneracy. It has been stimulated, first, by unwholesome 
social conditions, and, second, by commercialism. People 
of all walks of life seem to have abandoned their common 
sense, their sense of self-possession, and in many cases their 
morals. . . . 

“I don’t know what the parents of our country are think¬ 
ing about. They throw their children to the crocodiles as 
the Indian mothers used to do, but the former without any 
religious motive. They are consumed by an itch for social 
advance, and they think the only way to get into society is 
to dance in. The present condition is a result of spiritual 
degeneracy. It is time for the church, the home, and the 
press to use every legitimate means against these degrading 
conditions.” 

IS DANCING CONDUCIVE TO HEALTH ? 

Observation and experience both teach that 
the late hours, night banquets, the improper 
dress and consequent exposure, the nervous ex¬ 
haustion, are all stimulating but not strengthen¬ 
ing. How unfitted one is for real work after 
such a night of dissipation! There is an excite¬ 
ment attended by corresponding reaction, which 
must be exceedingly harmful to health and vi¬ 
tality. Time, strength, money, health, are all 
wasted in dancing. 

Is it right for Christians to dance? 


THE REAL HOME 


304 

Christians take the life of Jesus as their ex¬ 
ample. They are to “walk even as He walked.” 
We find no scripture commanding us to dance 
even as He danced. We cannot conceive that 
the pure and sinless Christ would be found in a 
dance hall, dancing with the godless merry- 
makers there. He will not go with those who 
profess to follow Him, when they attend such 
places of amusement. 

The General Association of the Congrega¬ 
tional Church in the state of Ohio says that 4 4 the 
practice of dancing by members of our churches 
is inconsistent with the profession of religion, 
and ought to be made a subject of discipline.” 

Bishop Hopkins, of the Episcopalian Church, 
says: 

“Dancing is chargeable with waste of time, the indul¬ 
gence of personal vanity, and the premature incitement of 
the passions, and no ingenuity can make it consistent with 
the covenant of baptism.” 

THE DANCE OF DEATH 

Hr. William A. McKeever, in the Amethyst, 
the official temperance organ of the Presbyte¬ 
rian Church, says: 

“The new social dance, with which millions of our ado¬ 
lescent young people are now crazed, is a dance of death. 
The devil is its author, and the underworld its place of 
origin and proper habitat. 

“Young fifteen-year-old striplings are forced, by this 
lustful dance, into an intense sexualized type of mind, in¬ 
stead of the normal slowly awakening sex consciousness. 

“The sex intoxication brought on by the close-grip dance, 
and which is to-day the one great outstanding social entice¬ 
ment among all the young people of America — this snaky 


WORLDLY AMUSEMENTS 


305 

thing is new to the world. . . . For reason of policy, some 
of the experts have decried only the ‘public dance’; but 
they are fully aware that the crux of the problem is not a 
matter of the public or private place of the ‘party,’ but the 
white-heat sex stimulation which is involved.” 

Ill spite of its fascinating, bewitching char¬ 
acter, the dance leads to immorality and death. 

T. A. Faulkner, an ex-dancing master of the 
Los Angeles Academy, said of the two hundred 
abandoned women with whom he talked per¬ 
sonally, that while thirty-seven ascribed their 
fall to various other causes, one hundred sixty- 
three of them ascribed it to the dancing school 
and the ballroom. 

Mr. Faulkner was president of the Dancing 
Masters ’ Association of the Pacific Coast before 
he was converted to Christ. He afterwards 
wrote the book “From the Ballroom to Hell.” 
He states that it is the custom of evil-minded 
men of wealth to attend the most exclusive danc¬ 
ing schools, and to frequent parlor dances, for 
the sole purpose of robbing pure young women 
of their virtue. Their success is revealed by the 
fact that three fourths of the women in houses 
of ill fame were led to their downfall through 
the dance hall. 

No one claims that all who attend the dance 
are ruined thereby; but enough are ruined to 
blacklist forever the dance hall. But in spite of 
all warnings, like moths attracted by the flame, 
there are those who venture on forbidden ground. 

“When I go to such places again,” said one 
young man, “I shall do other things I gave up 


20 


306 


THE REAL HOME 


when I became a Christian. The reason ? — Be¬ 
cause it is my experience that they kill spir¬ 
ituality. ’ ’ 

“Ivamae,” said a brother to his sister, “have 
you asked Ralph if he is a Christian ?’’ 

Ralph was the young man to whom Ivamae 
was engaged. She replied that she had not, but 
she would the next night, at a dance both ex¬ 
pected to attend. Later the brother inquired if 
she had kept her promise. 

“Yes, I did.” 

“What did you say?” 

“I asked him if he was a Christian.” 

.“What was his reply?” 

“He said, 4 No; are you?’ I told him Wes’; 
but he said, ‘Why, what are you doing here 
then?’ ” 

At the entrance of every questionable place 
of pleasure, the question may well be asked, 
“What doest thou here?” 


HOURS OF RECREATION 
Chapter Nineteen 



RE we, then, to have no pleasure at all?” 


This exclamation will be heard from those 


who read the indictment against the popular, 
exciting amusements of the day. 

“What shall we do?” questions another. 

Not less recreation, but more, may well be our 
motto. We need more playtime, less working 
time. Many shopgirls, factory workers, business 
men confined in offices, women in kitchens and 
workrooms, young people who should not work 
all the time, the boys and girls in school,— these 
and many others need recreation — re-creation 
— that will rest, restore, and freshen both body 
and mind. 

But many so-called pleasures do not furnish 
true relaxation. They excite, stimulate, and 
consume the bodily vigor we already have, but 
do not create anew either mind or body. They do 
not invigorate, and give renewed strength for 
future labor. 


SHAM, SHAM, SHAM!” 


George Wharton James, noted lecturer and 
author, has this to say concerning popular 
amusements: 

“I firmly believe that one of the greatest curses of our 
present day is that people are saturated with a love for the 
wrong kind of pleasure. They are amusement mad. They 
long for cheap, tawdry, sensational, untrue, sham shows. 


( 307 ) 



308 


THE BEAL HOME 


The highest are as worthless as the lowest; the fantasies of 
the grand opera and the theater as foolish, unreal, unsatis¬ 
fying as the nickel vaudeville or moving-picture show of the 
very poor.” 

But there is pleasure that is not all sham and 
make-believe. It refreshes and re-creates mind 
and body. The Christian will seek only such 
pleasures as lie knows his Master approves. He 
will not go where the One he serves will not 
accompany him. 

The Christian Commonwealth has given the 
following list of questions by which to test our 
pleasures: 

“Do your recreations rest and strengthen or weary and 
weaken the body? 

“Do they rest and strengthen or weary and weaken the 
brain ? 

“Do they make resistance to temptation easier or harder ? 

“Do they increase or lessen love for virtue, purity, tem¬ 
perance, and justice? 

“Do they give inspiration and quicken enthusiasm, or 
stupefy the intellectual and harden the moral nature ? 

“Do they increase or diminish respect for manhood and 
womanhood ? 

“Do they draw you nearer to, or remove you farther 
from, the Christ?” 

Hannah More once said: 

“A Christian’s amusements must be blameless as well as 
ingenious, safe as well as rational, moral as well as intellec¬ 
tual. They must have nothing in them which may be likely 
to excite any of the tempers which it is his daily task to 
subdue; any of the passions which it is his constant business 
to keep in order. His chosen amusements must not delib¬ 
erately add to the ‘weight’ which he is commanded to Tay 
aside’; they should not imitate the besetting sin against 
which he is struggling; they should not obstruct that spirit- 


HOURS OF RECREATION 309 

ual-mindedness which he is told is life and peace; they 
should not inflame the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, 
and the pride of life, which he is forbidden to gratify.” 

To these excellent thoughts we may add the 
Scripture rule, “ Whether therefore ye eat, or 
drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory 
of God ” 

BORDER-LINE AMUSEMENTS 

In time of war, it is unsafe for a soldier to 
be found on the enemy’s territory, even though 
very near his own line. He must not pass the 
border line. Questionable amusements are the 
devil’s territory. The Christian is unsafe who 
indulges in them. 

A young woman wished to enter a coal mine. 
With others, she was about to descend, when her 
friends noticed she was wearing a spotlessly 
white dress. They cautioned her that such attire 
was inappropriate for the occasion. Greatly 
displeased at their remarks, she turned to a 
grimy miner who was to act as guide, and petu¬ 
lantly inquired, ‘ 6 Can’t I wear a white dress into 
the mine?” 

“Yes, mum,” he replied; “there’s nothing to 
hinder you from wearing a white dress down 
there, but there will be considerable to keep you 
from wearing one back.” 

Our games and pleasures must not blacken 
the soul. Questionable amusements produce 
questionable characters. We cannot afford such 
transformation. Not only may our own souls 


310 


TEE REAL HOME 


be blackened, but our influence and example will 
stain other lives. 

COMPANIONSHIP BETWEEN PARENTS AND CHIL¬ 
DREN IN PLEASURE 

In many homes, the question of amusements 
is a testing one. Parents who have experienced 
it, know the pleasure it gives their children when 
father and mother play with them and share 
their amusements. This companionship is one 
of the most precious we even experience. It may 
be maintained as long as we live together, if we 
begin soon enough. But those who leave the 
children to devise their own sports, who have no 
time to plan and join with them, who say, “Go 
away and don’t bother me; I am too busy,”— 
such parents will not be invited to share the 
pleasures of the children when the children 
become young people, though they would give 
much for the privilege. 

SOME HOME PLEASURES 

There are games in which all can join. 
Games of chance, which would lead to gambling, 
are to be discarded; but those which develop 
thought and skill, and which impart useful in¬ 
formation, are to be encouraged. 

And there is real pleasure in studying to¬ 
gether. Father or mother can often give a 
suggestion which will save prolonged study, and 
conserve the time of the student. If difficult 
problems are studied together, thus establishing 
comradeship between the older and younger 


HOURS OF RECREATION 311 

members of the family, there will not be so much 
living apart. 

Let the family “get together.” If all work, 
then all can play; and parents are as much en¬ 
titled to relaxation as are their children. The 
game or “good time” promised when tasks are 
finished will be an incentive to faithfulness and 
efficiency in service. 

“the home club” 

In an adapted story, this dialogue takes place: 

Tom: Hello, Jack! Coming out to-night? 

Jack: No, Tom, I can’t come to-night. I have a elate. 

Tom : That so ? Where ? 

Jack: Home Club. 

Tom : Say, that’s a new one, isn’t it ? Where does it meet ? 

Jack : At my house. 

Tom : Who belongs to it ? 

Jack : My father and mother, brother Bob, sister Nellie, 
and I. 

Tom : Huh! That’s a great club. Wliat’s the idea ? 

Jack : The object is to enrich the home life of the family 
and to develop a deeper sympathy and understanding be¬ 
tween us. 

Tom : Sounds good enough. Tell me more about it. 

Jack: Well, you see, we’re all connected with so many 
organizations, they keep us busy most of the time, and we’re 
not home much evenings. Take it all in all, we’re hardly at 
home together except for meals. 

Mother was reading to us about a man who was out so 
much he said he didn’t feel at home with his family; and 
when it was not necessary for him to be out, he would go to 
the club, where he felt better acquainted than he did with 
his own kith and kin. That gave mother the idea for the 
Home Club. She said unless we had something like that, we 
would have to be introduced to each other before long. 

One night when it was raining so we did not care to go 
out, mother suggested her plan. We set aside one night a 


312 


TEE BEAL HOME 


week when we agreed to stay at home and get acquainted. 
If something came lip so all could not be at home in the 
evening, we were to set apart an hour after supper for the 
meeting of the club. We all agreed to it, and Thursday was 
named as the night best for all of us. 

We organized right there, and laid our plans for meet¬ 
ings. We’ve met regularly ever since. This is Thursday, 
and that’s why I can’t go with you to-night. 

Tom : That’s a good reason, sure. If it isn’t a secret, I'd 
like to know what the meetings are like. 

Jack : We usually begin with music. Nellie looks after 
that; and when she finds a good piece, she brings it home. 
If it is for piano, she plays it; and if it's vocal, we all sing 
until we learn it. 

After that, we have fifteen minutes for stories and ex¬ 
periences. Each tells some good story he has read or heard, 
or some interesting experience of the week. At one time, 
father met a Russian who told him many interesting things 
we had not seen in the papers about that country. We often 
save good stories for the club instead of telling them when 
we first hear them. 

Next we discuss some point of interest, and we all express 
our opinions. Sometimes we have a chapter from some good 
book. The last part of the meeting we call the “Problem 
Hour,” when we speak about anything that troubles us. 
Sometimes I read my English essay, or ask advice about a 
problem in arithmetic; sometimes father has a business prob¬ 
lem that bothers him. These are talked over, and each one 
has a chance to offer suggestions about the problems that 
have come up. 

After that, we spend the last fifteen minutes in a prayer 
service. We read a chapter in the Bible that seems to fit 
what we have been discussing, then each offers a short, 
simple prayer. We close by singing a hymn. 

Family reading is a delightful pastime. The 
best reader need not always be elected to read 
aloud, but the younger people who can read 
fairly well may be called on, and thus receive 


HOURS OF RECREATION 313 

training in correct pronunciation and enuncia¬ 
tion. The reading may occupy a pleasant half 
hour or more after study and tasks are finished, 
and thus become a real pleasure. 

During the reading, hand sewing may be 
done, garments repaired, stockings mended, or 
other light but necessary work performed which 
will not prevent the listeners from hearing the 
reading. In this way, work and pleasure may 
be combined. Books on nature study, travel, 
biography, and other similar topics will furnish 
never-ending delight for both older and younger 
members of the family, and form a strong bond 
to unite them in the same interests. 

Sometimes current events and their meaning 
may be discussed, and countries and cities lo¬ 
cated on the map. Scrapbooks may be made, 
and the time when this is done might be called 
the “pastry evening.” 

SOCIAL ENTERTAINMENTS 

There will also be days and evenings when 
families may unite for social pleasure. After¬ 
noons or evenings spent in some home where all 
can meet together may be profitable. It will not 
be difficult to hold an entertainment that will 
combine fun and frolic with that which is uplift¬ 
ing and instructive. Such occasions would be 
doubly beneficial if several families would unite 
and visit some river, lake, or mountain, taking 
their refreshments, and spending a day in the 
open air, with the works of nature about them. 


THE REAL HOME 


314 

Why not ask the young people to entertain 
their older friends occasionally? It would be a 
kindly act especially to invite those who may 
have but few social pleasures, those who are old 
and feeble, or such as may be financially dis¬ 
tressed. An afternoon or evening that is not too 
hilarious would be greatly enjoyed by them. 
Some of the old songs could be sung for the old 
people who heard them many years ago. Those 
who have lost their friends would appreciate the 
kindly attentions of those who are young and 
buoyant in spirit. 

REFRESHMENTS 

In social gatherings, often one of the first 
considerations is, “What shall we have to eat?” 
This sometimes causes those who entertain, ex¬ 
pense and labor that can ill be afforded. It is 
known that the guests will come for the “eats.” 

Would it not be better, on most occasions, to 
provide entertainment for the mind instead of 
the stomach? Most persons desire to be hos¬ 
pitable, and to entertain their friends in such a 
way as will promote their enjoyment; but surely 
there are ways to entertain without providing 
food that is unnecessary and unliealthful. It is 
time to educate ourselves to higher pleasures 
than those afforded at the table. 

One young woman, on returning from a so¬ 
cial, said: ‘ 4 That was one of the most delightful 
socials I ever attended. No one had to sweat 
over refreshments. How much nicer that was!” 


HOURS OF RECREATION 315 

All might not agree with these remarks; but 
some are trying to overcome the idea that the 
refreshments are the most important part of a 
social evening. Some who might be excellent en¬ 
tertainers have but few social functions, because 
they feel unable to provide this feature, which 
is thought by many to be indispensable. 

None should understand, from what has been 
said, that occasions never come when refresh¬ 
ments should be served. Fruit in season is deli¬ 
cious, and harmless to most persons. Fruit 
drinks are also acceptable; but health and sim¬ 
plicity are appropriate watchwords while we are 
considering what the refreshments shall be. It 
is the good taste in serving, the kindness of 
heart, that give charm, more than a great va¬ 
riety, large quantity, or expensive provision. 

BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES 

Such occasions may be made both profitable 
and pleasant. When the boys and girls find that 
their birthdays are celebrated as days of thank¬ 
fulness and joy, they do not soon forget them. 

It does not seem advisable to bestow a great 
many presents on holidays or anniversaries, for 
they have a tendency to cultivate selfishness, and 
cause the recipients to miss the real spirit that 
should enter into such celebrations. 

Would it not be more profitable to direct the 
mind to the thankfulness that should be felt for 
life, and to the privilege of being a blessing to 
others? A birthday letter or poem expressing 


316 


THE BEAL HOME 


the love and hopes of parents and other friends 
would be treasured in future years. This is not 
to say that there should be no special entertain¬ 
ment or presents; but these should not be made 
the principal feature, that which receives most 
thought and attention. 

All need to learn the lesson that “it is more 
blessed to give than to receive.” The greater 
joy comes from entertaining, not in being enter¬ 
tained; in giving, rather than in receiving. 

OUT-OF-DOOR RECREATIONS 

All the “good times” of family life need not 
be confined to the home. Change of environ¬ 
ment is helpful to all. A trip to the mountains, 
to lake, forest, or ocean beach, has charm. Not 
all homes are situated where nature is most at¬ 
tractive ; but there is usually some form of sport, 
some locality, that may form the objective of a 
pleasant trip. If enjoyed by the whole family 
together, it may be a blessing to all. 

Some parents suffer anxiety on account of 
their children’s being subject to almost every 
ailment that is the foe of childhood. One mother 
in a family of this kind went for advice to a 
friend. It was found that these youngsters were 
so overfed, overcoddled, and overheated that 
they had become like hothouse plants* and every 
exposure brought on headache, stomachache, 
colds, croup, and sore throat. There were so 
many illnesses that called for the service of a 
physician, that the family revenue was depleted, 


HOURS OF RECREATION 317 

and tlie parents were worn out with care and 
anxiety. 

The friend gave this advice, which is worth 
passing on: 

“Give the children three meals a day of nothing but the 
simplest food. Take off their shoes and stockings, and let 
them run out of doors every possible hour of the day. Pro¬ 
vide them with blue denim or some other rough clothing, so 
that you will not value their clothes more than you value 
the children. Pay no attention if they stay out when it 
rains, except to dry and thoroughly warm them when they 
come in. Never allow them to eat between meals, and give 
them as light a meal as possible at night. Never urge them 
when they do not want food. Better let them fast three days' 
absolutely, than urge them to eat one meal they do not want. 
Whenever and wherever possible, let them sleep out of 
doors.” 

A month after this advice began to he fol¬ 
lowed, the parents found their ills and worries 
gone. The children were rugged and well. So 
much had been saved, and the prospect was so 
flattering for further saving, from what had 
been formerly paid for doctor’s bills, that the 
family planned to take a trip through several 
states in a camp wagon, thus securing months of 
playtime for them all. Who could measure the 
health and satisfaction resulting from such 
a trip! 

Not all can take such an excursion as that, 
however; but shorter vacations can be arranged. 
And where possible, let the whole family go to¬ 
gether. If they camp out in some attractive spot 
in God’s great out of doors, the gain will be 
great. Frequent short vacations of this char- 


THE REAL HOME 


318 

acter are better than one long one of weeks or 
months. 

Eugene Field has expressed the longing for 
such quiet times, in these lines: 

“It seems to me I’d like to go 
Where bells don’t ring, nor whistles blow, 

Nor clocks don’t strike, nor gongs don’t sound, 

And I’d have stillness all around — 

“Not real stillness, but just the trees’ 

Low whispering, or the hum of bees, 

Or brook’s faint babbling over stones 
In strangely, softly tangled tones, 

“Or maybe cricket or katydid, 

Or songs of birds in the hedges hid, 

Or just some such sweet sounds as these 
To fill a tired heart with ease.” 

Some devices at home will help in living the 
outdoor life. To the children, these will be a 
joy forever. A pole like a Maypole, with ropes 
instead of ribbons, will develop the chest and 
lungs of delicate little folks, as # tliey hang on 
and swing. 

A small tent makes a fine playhouse. A 
swing is a strength developer. A pile of sand, 
a little garden plot,— these, and others, are all 
sources of innocent enjoyment. 

True pleasure, genuine recreation, that clears 
the cobwebs from the brain and strengthens body 
and mind,— these are not found in stuffy thea¬ 
ters, dark picture shows, the dance halls, or at 
the gaming table. In nature’s halls in the lofty 



HOURS OF RECREATION 


319 


forest, by lake or beach or stream, we may “ be¬ 
come as little children. ’ ’ To drink in the beauty 
of sky, mountain, and valley, to wander among 
the flowers and grasses and trees in the fresh air 
and sunshine, will re-create and restore. 

Shall we learn to play well and be companion¬ 
able with our children? To drink together of 
the pleasure provided by a loving Father in His 
world of nature is the best recreation of all. 


Chapter Twenty 
YOUNG MEN 


S TANDING by tlie railway track, you may 
have seen a postmaster hang a mail bag on 
a projecting arm. It is to be caught by the over¬ 
land mail train, soon due. You hear a distant 
whistle. The train thunders round a curve. An 
iron hook on the side of a car swings out. It 
snatches the mail bag. The train speeds on and 
is soon lost to view. 

Such is opportunity. This is an age that 

invites to action. It is given to young men to 

choose what their future shall be. The bovs of 

•/ 

to-day will be the men of to-morrow. Their 
destiny depends on their choice while young. 

The young men in academy or college are 
those who will soon sit at the business manager’s 
desk. They will be presidents of banks and col¬ 
leges. They will sit in legislative halls and courts 
of justice. They will be our farmers and me¬ 
chanics, our doctors, our secretaries and book¬ 
keepers, our ministers and missionaries. They 
will be the husbands and fathers in the homes of 
the future. The welfare of the nation is wrap¬ 
ped up in them. 

There is a clarion call for brave, clean, coura¬ 
geous, manly, Christian young men. The advice 
given them by Inspiration is, “Quit you like 
men, be strong.” It is no time for weaklings 
or cowards. On every hand doors of oppor- 

( 320 ) 


YOUNG MEN 321 

trinity stand opened wide, inviting those who are 
able to enter. 

A successful business man was asked, “In 
what respect are our young men deficient?” He 
replied, ‘ 4 In their tendency to rely upon others. ’ ’ 

“What will correct this tendency?” was the 
next question. 

“Difficulties,” was the ready answer. 

But young men are inclined to shun diffi¬ 
culties, rather than to enter the world’s battle¬ 
field and wrest victories where they have not 
already been won. 

In other words, manly young men are needed. 
Difficulties, obstacles, rebuffs, met and overcome 
in early life, give strength and fiber to the char¬ 
acter. Ability is gained for later conflicts, and 
the youth learns to walk erect and alone. 

“Somebody said that It couldn’t be done’— 

But he with a chuckle replied 
That ‘maybe it couldn’t,’ but he would be one 
Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried. 

So be buckled right in, with a bit of a grin 
On his face — if he worried, he hid it; 

He started to sing, as he tackled the thing 
That couldn’t be done — and he did it! 

“Somebody scoffed, ‘Oh, you’ll never do that — 

At least, no one ever has done it 
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat, 

And the first thing we knew, he’d begun it. 

With a lift of his chin, and a bit of a grin, 

Without any doubting or ‘quit it,’ 

He started to sing, as he tackled the thing 
That couldn’t be done, and he did it!” 


21 


322 


THE REAL ROME 


HOW WIN SUCCESS 

It is pitiable to see a young man whining over 
his “bad luck,” excusing his failures because he 
has met difficulty and discouragement. If he 
will turn his face toward the sun, and his back 
to the shadows, he can look the world in the eye 
without flinching. Parents are to blame if they 
have not taught their sons to face, fight, and 
conquer trouble. 

These words of wisdom were penned by Dr. 
J. L. Miller: 

“Strength is the glory of manhood. Yet it is not easy 
to be strong — it is easier to be weak and to drift. It is 
easier for the boy in school not to work hard to get his les¬ 
sons, but to let them go and then at the last depend on some 
other boy to help him through. It is easier, when something 
happens to make you irritable, just to fly into a temper and 
say bitter words, than it is to keep quiet and self-controlled. 
It is easier, when you are with other young people and they 
are about to do something that you know to be unworthy, 
just to go with them, than it is to say, ‘I cannot do this 
wickedness against God.’ It is easier to be weak than to 
be strong.” 

Abraham Lincoln took as his motto: “I am 
not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I 
am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live 
up to what light I have. I must stand with any¬ 
body that stands right; stand with him while he 
is right, and part with him when he goes wrong. ’ ’ 

It is in early manhood — yes, in boyhood — 
that true manliness and courage need cultiva¬ 
tion. The boy who is helped and supported in 
every hardship is likely to be spineless and 



YOUNG MEN 


323 

flabby in character. “The University of Hard 
Knocks’’ has taken many a weakling and made 
a man of him. The Bible has given us bright 
examples in Joseph, Samuel, Joshua, Moses, 
Daniel. 

But, of all young men who ever lived on 
earth, the Man of Nazareth was the most per¬ 
fect. Those who would reach the highest excel¬ 
lence will take Him as their pattern. From His 
earliest years until He lay in Joseph’s tomb, it 
could be said by all who knew Him, as it was 
said by the Roman governor who pronounced 
His death sentence, “I find no fault in Him.” 

But of all who have been best among men, it 
may be said, in Longfellow’s words: 

“The heights by great men reached and kept 
Were not attained by sudden flight; 

But they, while their companions slept, 

Were toiling upward in the night.” 

The manly young man will be a lifter, not a 
leaner. In every community, men are needed 
who will square their shoulders, and say, “Lean 
on me.” 

WHAT TO DO WITH FAILURE 

The real test of manhood is what one does 
with failure, how he conducts himself as a 
“down-and-outer.” Some begin to pity them¬ 
selves and to blame everybody else. Nothing can 
be worse if one would make failure a stepping- 
stone to success. Dr. Frank Crane says: 

“Get angry with yourself, pat yourself on the back, com¬ 
mend yourself — praise, blame, love, or hate yourself — do 
anything to yourself, but don’t pity yourself. . . . 


324 


THE REAL HOME 


“One who is sorry for himself is already half beaten. 

“The self-pitying are abused. Nobody treats them rights 
People talk about them. Others are promoted over them. 
They get no proper thanks. They are unappreciated. Alas! 
Also Alack! and Woe is me! Exeunt omnes into the gar¬ 
den and eat worms.” 

Play the man! 

With your body, keep it fit, 

By the highest use of it 
For the service of the soul, 

Every part in full control, 

Strong for labor, deft to do 
All that is required of you. 

Play the man! 

Play the man! 

With your mental powers free 

From all narrow bigotry, 

Search for truth, that it may bless 

All your days with happiness. 

Thus may brain with brawn agree, 

Make you what you ought to be. 

Plav the man! 

«/ 

Plav the man! 

Keep your inmost soul as pure 
As your mother’s virtue; sure 
If within no evil dwells, 

There’s no power in all the hells 
Strong enough to drag you down, 

Rob you of your manhood’s crown. 

Play the man! 

— G. A. Warburton, in “Young People 
HABITS GOOD AND BAD 

The young man who would make life a suc¬ 
cess must look well to his habits. Already they 
have become part of his life. How will they 


YOUNG MEN 325 

affect liis usefulness ? Because of them, will he 
constantly grow weaker, or stronger? 

Young man, cultivate the habit of good 
health. In the great World War, the whole 
country was shocked to learn that multitudes of 
young men who were called to service were 
physically unfit. 

Much of this unfitness was caused by bad 
habits, by indulgence in vicious, immoral prac¬ 
tices. Young men, clean up. Cleanse your 
mind. Count your bodies sacred. Like Joseph, 
when you meet temptation, say, “How then can 
I do this great wickedness, and sin against God V ’ 

Flee from any practice that will soil the soul. 
Cultivate purity of thought and life even though 
you are tempted within, without. Unless you do 
this, you can never live a truly successful life. 
“Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which 
is good.” 

Such habits as drinking, using tobacco in any 
form, playing games of chance, are always to be 
avoided. 

Probably one of the first and most injurious 
of these soul-and-body destroying habits is that 
of using tobacco. When it becomes master of 
the lad, the outer line of defense is broken down, 
and the enemy is ready for assault on other 
lines. Indulgence in smoking cigarettes has 
ruined millions of boys and young men in soul 
and body. 

Tobacco is the worst natural curse of modern civiliza¬ 
tion.— John Buskin. 


THE REAL HOME 


326 

I feel a great interest in any effort to check the perni¬ 
cious habit of tobacco using. It is not only a nuisance, but 
a moral and physical evil, and a shame to our boasted refine¬ 
ment and civilization.— John G. Whittier. 

One of the most satisfactory habits a young 
man can form is to become a reader of good 
literature. 

Lincoln was famed for his good memory, the 
very quality in such urgent demand to-day in 
every vocation. But his memory was acquired 
by careful, continuous, attentive reading. First 
he read what was worth while. At the age of 
fourteen he had mastered all the books he could 
lay hands on. In his reading, when he came to 
a passage that particularly impressed him, he 
would write it, and rewrite it, and repeat it, 
until it was fixed in his mind. This was the 
beginning of his career. 

A boy was reading a thrilling novel. When 
he reached the middle of the book, he said to 
himself: “Now this will never do. I get too ex¬ 
cited ; I can’t study so well after it. I have work 
to do in real life. So here goes.” He threw the 
unfinished book into the river. That boy became 
the great German philosopher Fichte. 

The sensible young man will find in good 
reading real pleasure; but he will be extremely 
careful in his choice of books. 

Books, we know, 

Are a substantial world, both pure and good; 

Bound which, with tendrils strong as flesh and blood, 

Our pastime and our happiness will grow. 

— Wordsworth. 


YOUNG MEN 


327 


BE A GENTLEMANLY MAN 

He who wishes to reach the top round of the 
ladder of life will find good manners a matter of 
“first aid.” He will cultivate good humor, and 
learn to smile. He may not be hailed as the con¬ 
queror of others, but he will be his own con¬ 
queror, the master of his moods and feelings. 
There are people who see nothing in a doughnut 
but a hole, and whose visage is dark enough to 
blot out a rainbow. Their ill nature is like a 
ball and chain on the ankle. It does not keep 
them from working, but they never get anywhere. 

A man who makes people laugh can command 
a salary of a million dollars a year and does it; 
but the cheerful, sunny young man who whistles 
as he works, who smiles at criticism and defeat, 
who, when he falls, gets to his feet and goes on 
smiling — he is worth more than a million in 
any home. 

Two boys answered an advertisement the other day, ap¬ 
plying for a job in one of the big newspaper offices of the 
country. That is, the choice simmered down to the two; and 
the manager didn’t know which one to choose. Each was 
neat and bright, each seemed to have plenty of brains and 
to know how to use them; but finally the manager turned 
to them and said, solemnly, “I guess Ell set you to work 
shoveling coal, and whichever gets the most done by noon 
will get the job!” 

At this, one of the boys looked glum, as if shoveling coal 
didn’t appeal to him; but the other smiled all over his face, 
and replied: “All right, sir! Hard or soft coal?” 

“You have it!” said the manager. “Take off your coat 
right now!” 

When two boys are about equal in every way, the fellow 
that smiles is bound to get the job every time. There’s noth- 


THE BEAL HOME 



ing like a smile to make the work fly; not a silly, meaningless 
grin, but an honest, cheerful smile that makes every one 
around you feel good.— S. E. Kiser , in “Boys’ World.” 

BE FRIENDLY AND COURTEOUS 

This is not difficult if a young man is with his 
special friends, or in the society he loves. To be 
obliging and respectful to those who are old and 
unattractive is a different problem. Mr. Schwab 
tells a story which illustrates this: 

A certain clerk in a department store, with a small 
salary, had no present prospect of getting anything better. 
It was a gloomy day, and very few customers in the store. A 
number of the clerks were bunched together talking over 
games, and most of them did not notice an elderly woman 
who came into the store, wanting to be served. But this 
clerk saw her, and although one of the youngest in the 
crowd, he promptly left his companions and went to wait 
upon the lady. 

She wanted to look at a number of articles, and he gave 
her the most careful and courteous attention. He politely 
answered all her questions and showed her all the goods she 
wanted to see. The other boys kept on talking baseball and 
such matters and having a jolly time among themselves, but 
he was carefully and faithfully attending to business. 

Not long afterward the same woman sent a request to the 
head of the store, asking that she might have the assistance 
of this young clerk in making her selection of a very large 
order of goods. 

“We shall be very glad to accommodate you,” answered 
the head of the firm, “but this is one of the youngest and 
least experienced of all our clerks. May’ we not send you 
one of our older and more experienced young men? He 
might be able to serve you more efficiently than the one for 
whom you have asked.” 

“That may be very true,” answered the lady, “but I want 
the one who waited on me the other day.” 

This woman was none other than Mrs. Andrew Carnegie, 
and she came to make a selection of goods to be used in re- 


YOUNG MEN 329 

decorating the famous Skibo Castle, which is known every¬ 
where as the home of the Carnegies in Scotland. 

Mr. Schwab says that this was the beginning of promo¬ 
tion for that boy. His employer found how valuable his 
thoughtfulness and courtesy were to him, and gave him bet¬ 
ter chances to use these qualities.— Selected. 

SEEKING ADVICE 

A young man will be benefited by conferring 
with those of more experience than himself. 
Rehoboam, a youthful king in Israel, was un¬ 
willing to follow the counsel of older men. 
True, he asked their opinion; but what they said 
was displeasing, and then he held a conference 
with the younger men of his own age. They saw 
the affairs of government as he saw them. He 
and they decided to show the “old fogies” their 
mistake. 

Result: The young king lost about ten twelfths 
of his kingdom. 

“If I were twenty,” says Francis E. Clarke, 
of Christian Endeavor fame, “I would learn to 
confer. Some men never learn this art; and the 
older they grow the more self-opinionated and 
contradictory they become. They cannot sit 
down and reason out a thing with others. They 
can make a speech; they can bluster; they can 
overbear opposition; but a real conference they 
cannot abide. This is an art that must be 
learned when young. To give the other man a 
fair chance to state his views, to keep an open 
mind, to be humble enough to listen, are great 
virtues. ’ ’ 


330 


THE REAL HOME 


SAVING AND GIVING 

A young man will do well to learn to save 
part of liis earnings. If lie has the courage to 
wear his old suit when he has money in his 
pocket to buy a new one, if his mother or sister 
will darn his stockings and repair his other 
garments, if he is careful of his clothes, if he 
dispenses with tobacco, liquor, theaters, and 
luxuries, he will be able to save from his income, 
and not be left helpless and dependent if he loses 
his job or meets with misfortune. He may not 
be as popular as the free spenders, but he will 
have a satisfaction, an independence, which 
popularity cannot give. 

A young man of the right kind will find 
pleasure in giving when once he has tasted its 
joy. If there is real necessity, work to under¬ 
take for others which costs, young men are the 
ones to lift their share of the burden. Giving is 
the way to learn how to give, and it is not a 
natural but an acquired accomplishment. 


“Excuses are the patches with 
which we seek to repair the 
garment of failure.” 


A straightforward young man will not deal 
in excuses. If he intends to do the right and 
fails, and if there is no good reason for failure, 


i 



YOUNG MEN 


331 

lie will own that it was his fault, and will hence¬ 
forth avoid making the same mistake, instead of 
blaming others. 

MANLY INDEPENDENCE 

True manliness will suggest that a strong 
young man who has been provided for from 
earliest childhood at great sacrifice on the part 
of his parents should turn about and inquire 
concerning the debt he owes for such provision 
and expense. 

A boy can never know the cost of his rearing 
until he has children of his own; but when he 
reaches manhood’s estate, if he is the right sort, 
he will begin to consider how he can repay some 
of the care bestowed upon him. His demands 
will grow less, not greater. He will become the 
helper, the comforter, of the parents who have 
done so much for him. 

Often the expense at school involves real sac¬ 
rifice. A young man of good sense will seek to 
lighten the labors of the home toilers, as far as 
possible; will bear his own burdens, and plan to 
repay in kind those to whom he owes so much. 
While they are still with us, while they can be 
told of appreciation for their self-sacrificing 
labor, let parents hear unstinted praise and 
gratitude expressed both in words and in deeds. 

Mr. Guest gives an example of his father’s 
wisdom in teaching him a valuable lesson: 

“ ‘Don’t ever get the notion in your head that the people 
you work for cannot get along without you/ he said. ‘There 
was once a very bright young man who made himself 


TFIE BEAL HOME 


valuable to his employer. He was clever, industrious, and 
sharp, and rose quickly to a position of some importance. 
One day a friend unkindly suggested to this clever young 
man that he was not being paid in just proportion to his 
work. The youth decided this was true, and asked for an 
increase in salary. This was readily granted. The addi¬ 
tional money had been given so willingly that he concluded 
that he must be worth even more; and within a few weeks, 
he approached his employer with another demand. This, 
too, was met, but the youth remained dissatisfied. The third 
time he filed a request for more money, the firm demurred. 

“ ‘ “I know all about your business,'’ said the conceited 
youth, “and either you'll pay me what I’m really worth, oi¬ 
l’ll leave. You can't get along without me.” 

“ ‘ “Oh,” replied the president of the company, “that’s 
rather a broad statement! What should we do if you were 
suddenly to die ?” 

“‘“Well,” stammered the young man, “in that case, of 
course you would have to get along.” ’ 

“We laughed together over that conceited man’s down¬ 
fall. My father thought it a splendid joke, or pretended to. 
‘It taught him a lesson he sadly needed,’ he added; and I 
realize now that the purpose of my father’s frequent repe¬ 
tition of that story was to give me a lesson I might some 
day need. Later he amplified the idea by adding: 

“ ‘Don't think people can't get along without you, for 
they can. The thing to do is so to live and act that they 
won't want to get along without you.’ ” 

HOME CORRESPONDENCE 

If you are absent from home, frequent, newsy 
letters will be comforting. Say something more 
than, “I am well and getting on famously/’ 
Father and mother will appreciate knowing 
who your intimate friends are, what salary you 
receive, how much you are saving, what your 
expenses are, the difficulties you meet, and the 
victories you gain. 


YOUNG MEN 


333 

4 4 It seems ridiculous to keep telling the neigh¬ 
bors our boy is well,” said one mother, “but that 
is really all we know about him.” 

The carelessness of some young men in this 
respect is almost incredible. A salesman in a 
department store was startled one day when a 
man came to his counter and inquired about his 
health, saying he had been asked to look up the 
young man the next time he came to the city. 

“Who — what?” stammered the young man. 
“I wrote home last week — or the week before 
— or —” 

“Nine weeks ago, they told me,” said the 
stranger, with a smile, as he turned away. 

That night a letter was sent to the old home. 
“I can’t understand why you worried about 
me,” he wrote. “I’ve been very busy, and you 
know how I hate to write letters. 1 never can 
think of anything to say. I never wrote an in¬ 
teresting letter in my life.” 

But father or mother or both are continually 
writing to the absent Johns and Williams and 
Henrvs; and how greatly their letters would be 
missed if not written! 

THE LETTER HE WAS ASHAMED OF 

A young man had just completed his college 
course. Before leaving the institution, he wrote 
a letter to his mother. After her death, eighteen 
years later, this letter was found stained with 
tears and worn to shreds, having been read and 
reread, and prized as one of her most cherished 
possessions. This is the letter: 


334 THE REAL HOME 

“My dear Mother: * 

“My college days are over. The other students have 
gone. The future is uncertain. The campus is still, and I 
have been thinking of you, with a heart too full to talk much, 
if I should see you, but I do want to write. I have been 
thinking how you must have felt when the last of us had 
gone and you were alone after the years of patience and 
anxiety in rearing a large family. What a life you have 
lived, so full of sorrow and sacrifice and suffering! You 
have given so much and have received so little! . . . 

“But to-night, with the college da} f s and the college 
friends gone, I can see how you have hovered over me all 
along the years. I remember one day, when I was so small 
that I wore the little red and white dress, that when bare¬ 
footed I stepped on a piece of glass, and when the blood 
gushed I screamed. You had me in your arms in a minute, 
the blood from my foot running down on your apron. You 
soon had the gash cleaned and bound, and then you took me 
in your arms and pillowed my head on your breast, and 
rocked me to sleep and contentment. 

“To-night I wish I were a child again, pillowed in the 
same warm nest, with your arms around me, and could hear 
the soft tones of the old familiar hymn, ‘There’s a land that 
is fairer than day/ which you used to hum to us. . . . 

“And then the typhoid came, and we were all sick but 
you. The fever ran its course with each of us, and you, 
mother mine, did all the nursing for many months, except 
what the kind neighbors did to help; and when there was 
no more of us to feed upon, the fever left. But some of us 
had gone never to return, and the rest were poor and young. 
I should think that would have broken your spirit, if not 
your heart. But I can see now that sickness and death are 
not the worst things that can happen, and that the worst 
was yet to come. The days which tried your courage and 
faith were the days when we came to our teens and fell into 
temptation. 

“It is a triumph to rear a boy to manhood with a healthy 
body. It is a greater triumph to rear one to manhood with 
a healthy soul. And when I look back over my life, I wonder 
how a boy without a mother to love him ever comes through 
to a manhood of honor. It seems to me that you have saved 


YOUNG MEN 


335 

me a hundred times; and since I have been away from home, 
your faith and confidence in me, and your love for me, have 
gone with me all the way. 

“Do you remember when I found the purse with six dol¬ 
lars in it, and how I wanted to keep it, because we needed 
the money so badly? But you said, ‘No, my son; we must 
find the owner. It does not belong to us/ 

“For several weeks we failed to learn whose purse it 
was; and every day, I became more hopeful that we would 
never learn. But you would not let me spend the money. 
And the day we did find the owner was about the bitterest 
day of my youth, until I went with you to deliver it to the 
gentleman who had lost it, and then somehow my grief 
turned to joy. 

“How wise you were to take me with you! In that hour, 
you taught me not to covet what might come into my posses¬ 
sion by accident, and not to conceal and hold anything for 
myself which was not mine. 

“Do you remember when Henry took me into his father’s 
cellar and gave me some wine ? I was worried, because you 
had talked to us a great deal about the evil which liquor does 
in the world. I think you knew there was something on my 
mind. I tried to tell you that night before I went to bed, 
but couldn’t. I was afraid it would break your heart. I lay 
awake nearly all night, thinking; and next morning, after 
prayers, when you had prayed in your simple way that God 
would go that day with your boys and hold their hands and 
keep them from evil, I couldn’t stand it, and when we had 
started to school, I ran back and threw my arms around you 
and told you about the wine. 

“0 mother o’ mine! it must have been almost a death 
stroke. I could feel your body grow rigid, and then your 
arms closed about me and held me frantically, as if you 
feared I would be snatched away. For a long while, you 
said never a word, and we did not hear the ‘last bell’; but 
when I could look into your face, it was white and drawn 
and old, and all the soft lines were gone out of it, while your 
eyes were brimming with tears that dripped over the lashes 
and ran down your cheeks and fell upon your breast. 

“Well, there was no school for me that day. Do you re¬ 
member how we talked about life and what it means, and 


THE REAL HOME 


336 

how necessary it is that a hoy should be strong enough to 
withstand temptation; and before the others came home, you 
took me to the bedroom and we both prayed about it till we 
found peace ? When we came out of the room with your arm 
around me, I knew then that nothing could ever tempt me 
to touch liquor of any kind again. . . . 

“And, mother (Are all mothers as wise as you have 
been?), you remember my first party, when I was to take 
my ‘first girl’? I remember it in every detail. It was an 
epoch in my life, as it is in every boy’s. I was very nervous 
and very anxious, and a little bit ashamed, and very, very 
proud, and pretty badly frightened, with all of it hidden, as 
I thought, beneath a demeanor of indifference and scorn. 
But you understood me, and many other things as well, and 
the evening before the party, you bad me go with you to Mrs. 
Homer’s house, nearly a mile away; and when we were re¬ 
turning, the stars were coming out, and a soft wind was 
blowing, and we sauntered slowly, chatting in a familiar 
way. You led the conversation round to the subject of the 
party. . . . 

“Mother o’ mine, at home in your own rocker, these and 
a thousand other things I have been thinking about; and 
to-night, with college days behind and life before, I want to 
tell you that now I can see what your life has been through 
the years of suffering and service and sacrifice. 

“I want you to know that I know what a wonderful 
mother you are. 

“And, mother, I love you. I love you, and shall love 
you always.” 

After this letter had been written and posted, 
the young man felt ashamed that he had written 
in such a gushing manner; but is it not rather a 
cause for shame that more such letters are not 
written ? 

THE CHOICE OF FKIENDS 

The sensible young man will guard his asso¬ 
ciations. From his acquaintances he will choose 


YOUNG MEN 


337 

the best for intimate friends. Thousands of 
young men have gone wrong because they were 
led away by evil companions.. 

That was the difficulty with Samson, the 
strongest and yet one of the weakest men that 
ever lived. He loved sinful pleasure, therefore 
he associated with sinners. Chasing pleasure is 
like joy-riding in an automobile,— it is liable 
to end in disaster and death. 

The friendship of David and Jonathan was 
different. It was pure and unselfish. Jona¬ 
than’s love for David was so sincere he preferred 
to have him honored above himself. He gave his 
friend the best he had. A true, unselfish friend 
is one of Heaven’s best gifts. 

The young man who has younger brothers 
and sisters can do much to help them. If he 
treats them kindly, they will imitate his ex¬ 
ample. If he has met and conquered temptation, 
he can encourage them to choose right associa¬ 
tions and to form good habits. His watchful eye 
will discover that which even the parents may 
not know; and if tactful and patient, he can 
exert a great influence for good. 

One test of the true gentleman is his manner 
of treating his sister. If he fails as a brother, 
he would be likely to fail as a lover or as a 
husband. A loyal brother will guard his sister 
from vicious young men, for he knows them bet¬ 
ter than she, and it is his privilege to stand 
between her and harmful associations. 


22 


338 


THE REAL HOME 


A true brother will not by his own life cause 
his sister to stumble, but will walk the path of 
safety beside her. 

GROW NEW WOOD 

Longfellow was once asked how he was able 
to keep so vigorous and write so beautifully as 
age advanced upon him. Calling attention to an 
apple tree, he said: 

“I never saw prettier blossoms upon it than those which 
it now bears. The tree grows a little new wood every 
year, and I suppose it is out of the new wood that these 
blossoms come. Like the apple tree, I try to grow a little 
new wood every year.” 

The answer is suggestive. The young men 
who would reach a high standard must grow. 
They are invited by that versatile writer, Amos 
R. Wells, to test themselves in different ways. 
The tests he gives are worth trial: 

“You should be able to walk ten miles with ease. Are 
you ? The only way to find out is to try it — not all at once, 
but see if you can work up to it. 

“You should be able to enter into conversation with a 
stranger of your own sex (under suitable circumstances), 
courteously, agreeably, and profitably. Are you ? Try it! 

“You should be able to entertain company at your own 
table so that all present will enjoy themselves. Are you 9 
Try it. 

“You should be able to read a volume of history, biog¬ 
raphy, essays, or poetry with as much real enjoyment as a 
novel. Are you? Try it. 

“You should be able to listen to a sermon or lecture on 
a substantial subject and carry away the main points so 
that you can repeat them afterward. Are you ? Try it. 


YOUNG MEN 


339 


“You should have grace enough to submit to insult or 
injustice patiently, put up with coarseness serenely, and 
answer anger with love. Have you ? Try it. 

“You should be able to read your Bible by the book in¬ 
stead of by the chapter or verse, and delight in the reading. 
Are you ? Try it. 

“You should be able to pray for at least fifteen minutes 
by the watch (Mechanical? — There is no other way of get¬ 
ting at the facts), and still have much left that you want 
to talk over with your heavenly Father. Are you ? Try it. 

“These all indicate fundamentals of the physical, social, 
mental, and spiritual life. Have you ever tested yourself 
in regard to them, strictly and honestly? If not, do it. I 
dare you!” 

Remember thy Creator now, 

0 youth with pulses high, 

And passions strong, and happy hopes, 

And vision-seeing eye! 

The past has shut her gate behind, 

The future blossoms broad; 

Before the day of evil comes, 

Intrust thy heart to God! 


Remember thy Creator now, 

And learn to love His law; 

Its mission is to save thee pain, 

And not to overawe. 

Love’s self is He — the living God; 

Then ere thy light is dim, 

And twilight spreads her wings abroad, 

Intrust thyself to Him. 

— Arthur Goodenough. 

“WHAT LACK I YET?” 

Every wise-hearted young man pauses some¬ 
times to look within, and ask himself this ques¬ 
tion: “What lack I yet?” There was one who 
saw the Christ in His ministry, and as he beheld 


I 


340 THE REAL HOME 

His unselfish life, forgot self, forgot his wealth 
and standing, and ran after the humble Galilean 
Teacher, to learn how he could be His disciple. 

“Good Master/’ he said as he knelt before 
Him, “what shall I do that I may inherit eternal 
life?” While he did not suppose he was defec¬ 
tive, yet he felt dissatisfied in the presence of 
One so pure and holy. Earnestly he questioned, 
“What lack I yet?” 

Slowly came the answer: “One thing thou 
lackest.” “If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell 
that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou 
shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and 
follow Me.” 

Quickly the young ruler saw what was in¬ 
volved in the earthward side of this answer. Oh 
that he had looked heavenward and seen the 
royal robe and crown, and that his name might 
be chiseled in the glittering foundation of the 
New Jerusalem! 

To many it seems too great a sacrifice to give 
all for Christ. While they desire heaven, yet the 
price is greater than they are willing to pay. 
Earthly prospects shut away the vision of eter¬ 
nal joy, eternal love, eternal riches, eternal life. 

In the warfare with sin, men are willing to 
march on dress parade, but they refuse the dis¬ 
comforts, the hand-to-hand fighting. They will 
enlist if they may remain at home and enjoy its 
comforts. Yes, they will become Christians if 
they can have all of worldly pleasure and wealth 
they desire. “Really,” they say, “what is the 


YOUNG MEN 


341 

use of talking about warfare with evil? Every 
man for himself! * ’ 

A man visiting the Agricultural Department 
in Washington, D. C., found the secretary ap¬ 
proachable, willing to talk. He looked like 
neither a farmer nor a scientist, but he com¬ 
manded an army of experts. 

“ Corncobs, ” he said, “have long been a 
problem. Now we are extracting glue from 
them to the extent of forty-five per cent of their 
weight. Furfural, another extract, is useful in 
the dye industry and other manufactures. Ace¬ 
tate of lime is also a valuable by-product. ’ ’ 

Wonders have been accomplished by this de¬ 
partment in growing cotton from seed obtained 
from the South Sea Islands and from Egypt, so 
that in Arizona alone, twenty million dollars a 
year is realized. 

The department has experimented with straw, 
obtaining enough gas from twenty pounds to 
drive a motor car twenty miles. A method was 
devised for using almost worthless land in Cali¬ 
fornia, so that rice valued at twenty million dol¬ 
lars a year is reaped from this acreage. 

Orange and lemon culls, of no use in the 
market, were studied. Results in 1920: one 
million five hundred thousand pounds of citric 
acid; five hundred thousand pounds citrate of 
lime; fifty thousand pounds of lemon oil. 
Twenty factories produced six million pounds of 
marmalades and jellies. 


342 


TEE BEAL HOME 


What about the people who are doing this 
saving work, and making valuable that which, 
but for them, would be waste? 

One young man showed the secretary an offer 
to pay him three hundred tw T enty-five dollars a 
month more than he was getting from the gov¬ 
ernment. 

“What shall I do?” he inquired. 

The secretary replied: “You must take it, be¬ 
cause men must grasp their opportunities; on 
the other hand, you must not take it, because 
here you can render service to one hundred 
million people.” 

He stayed with the department. 

Another, a chemist, receives from the govern¬ 
ment five thousand dollars a year. He has had 
numerous offers of higher wages, the last being 
sixteen thousand dollars a year. He declined 
every one of these offers, in the interest of pub¬ 
lic service. 

Young men, the world needs your talents, 
your money, your service. It needs you. There 
are men, women, and children who need your 
help to exalt them from being comparable to 
cobs and culls and straw into noble, Christlike 
candidates for immortality. 

Will you, then, seeing the need, the oppor¬ 
tunity, turn away to a life of self-service and 
pleasure ? or will you be a loyal, faithful soldier 
and servant for your Lord and His government ? 
He bids you, “Follow Me.” 


YOUNG MEN 


343 


Young men have a prominent part to act in 
God’s great plan for our world. There are prob¬ 
lems to solve, burdens to bear, men and women 
to be saved. Like the youthful Isaiah, lay the 
need upon your own heart, saying, 4 4 Here am I; 
send me.” 

God give us men! A time like this demands 

Strong minds, great hearts, true faith, and ready hands; 

Men whom the lust of office does not kill; 

Men whom the spoils of office cannot buy; 

Men who possess opinions and a will; 

Men who have honor — men who will not lie; 

Men who can stand before a demagogue, 

And damn his treacherous flatteries without winking; 
Tall men, sun-crowned, who live above the fog 
In public duty and in private thinking; 

For while the rabble, with their thumb-worn creeds — 
Their large professions and their little deeds — 

Mingle in selfish strife, lo, Freedom weeps, 

Wrong rules the land, and waiting Justice weeps! 

— J G. Holland. 



I 


Chapter Twenty-One 

WINSOME YOUNG WOMEN 

T HE young woman of this age is ambitious. 

She ought to be. No age in history has ever 
presented such opportunities for women as the 
present. College doors have opened to them. 
Various professions demanding skill and brains 
invite them to compete with men. A new era 
has dawned for womanhood. 

Sensible young women are not slow to accept 
positions of trust and responsibility offered 
them. They are unwilling to live as their grand¬ 
mothers lived. They are no longer dependent on 
men financially. They find they can earn their 
own money, spend it as they please, and be inde¬ 
pendent. They decide to be clerks, workers in 
homes and factories, teachers, nurses, physi¬ 
cians, stenographers, and business managers. 
They want to lead instead of being led. 

But while the liberties granted women are a 
blessing if rightly used, they may become a curse 
if they cause her to look with scorn on her mis¬ 
sion in the home. God created the woman to be 
a helper for man — his counterpart, each to sup¬ 
plement the other. 

The highest and most worthy calling of 
woman is in the home, as a wife and mother. 
Circumstances may prevent one from sharing 
this honor; but she must not therefore conclude 
that in being useful and making her way in the 

( 344 ) 


WINSOME YOUNG WOMEN 


345 

world alone, she occupies a higher, more exalted 
position than the home toiler. 

There are unmarried women such as Whittier 
describes in his “Snowbound,” 

‘‘Who, lonely, homeless, not the less 
Found peace in love’s unselfishness, 

And welcome wheresoe’er she went, 

A calm and gracious element, 

Whose presence seemed the sweet income 
And womanly atmosphere of home.” 

But the lonely, homeless life is not ideal. To 
be the queen of a home, to be the companion and 
helper of a noble, kingly man, is the highest gift 
within woman’s reach. 

Every young woman recognizes that marriage 
is a possibility, and therefore it is right for her 
to prepare for this relationship. This prepara¬ 
tion will not make her less acceptable as a 
worker in different lines of industry. It will 
not detract from her charm and womanliness. 
No young woman can foretell what the future 
may hold for her. While she may not determine 
that she will marry at all hazards, yet it is 
proper to cherish the instincts that are the basis 
of every true woman’s life. 

One young woman in Los Angeles, California, 
decided she would rather be useful than to shine 
in society. She folded her party gowns, tucked 
her curls under a nurse’s cap, and went to work 
in a maternity hospital. This is what she said 
after she had proved to be so efficient she was 


346 


THE REAL HOME 


placed in charge of night nursing in the in¬ 
stitution : 

“It is fascinating work/ 5 she said as she trotted a whim¬ 
pering baby on her knee. 

“Fm a hundred times happier than I was before I knew 
what work meant. I feel like a real person, doing my share 
of the world’s work. I especially like this hospital, because 
it takes us into the neighborhood so much, and we have a 
chance to bring help and a little sunshine into the lives of 
the poor. 

“I work all night now — the hardest kind of work. And 
I enjoy it. 

“Before I came here, I used to dance all night. And I 
was getting bored. All I did when I danced was to get cross 
and cranky. Now, when daylight comes I can go to sleep, 
with a clear mind and the satisfying feeling that I’ve done 
something for others who needed me. 

“My father prophesied I wouldn’t last a week. When I 
packed my suit case and left home, my mother shook her 
head. But I find, now I’ve made good, they’re as proud of 
me as though I were a boy. 

“My friends tried to make me stop by dropping me. 
They didn’t telephone me, and they didn’t invite me to 
parties. But I stood pat, and now all sorts of girls come to 
see me, and I’m getting quite a few of them interested in 
settlement work. 

“I think society is too speedy now, anyway. No girl can 
devote herself exclusively to society, with its eternal tangos 
and mad rush, and not lose her freshness and her joy 
of life. 

“It’s work that keeps people young and happy. I wish 

every girl I know could find something to do and go at it 

seriouslv.” 

«/ 

Girlhood and early womanhood is the time of 
preparation for the life to follow. The forward- 
looking girl will fit herself for the duties that 
await her. Our sensible young woman will guard 
her health of mind and body. Her hands will be 


WINSOME YOUNG WOMEN 


347 

trained to work,— to cook, to sew, to do general 
housework. She can he her mother’s and fa¬ 
ther’s efficient assistant. There would be fewer 
divorces if so many girls did not marry quite 
unprepared for the obligations that supplement 
the wedding day. 

But whether in a home of her own or in that 
of another, the girl who would win success and 
admiration,— above all, the one who would be 
useful,— is the one that “can do things.” 

A young woman may be a graduate from 
college, she may be proficient in music and art, 
but a time will come when she will wish she knew 
how to do the common work of common life and 
do it well. 

We may live without poetry, music, and art; 

We may live without conscience, and live without heart; 

We may live without friends; we may live without books; 

But civilized man cannot live without cooks. 

— Owen Meredith. 

This is not saying that a young woman should 
do without an education, without music or art; 
but, rather, that the sensible girl will put “first 
things first. ’ ’ While still at home, she will learn 
the art of homemaking, how to be useful, how to 
care for others. 

Her mother will be the wisest and kindest 
teacher in the world, and working together 
creates a bond of fellowship between mother and 
daughter which is both enjoyable and lasting. 

But if there is no mother, or if, unfortu¬ 
nately, her education as a homemaker has been 




348 


THE REAL HOME 


neglected, daughter may learn from books, by 
experience, and from other sources, the proper 
methods in home-craft. If there is no other 
way, she can go to some wise woman and ask to 
be taught. 

William A. McKeever has said: 

“Go where you will throughout the length and breadth 
of this fair land of ours, and I challenge you to find among 
the children of men a more pleasing picture than that of a 
smiling, rosy-cheeked girl garbed in a neat, loose-fitting 
house dress and a dainty white apron, while with a snowy 
towel in her hand, she is engaged in drying the dinner dishes. 

“It is much to be regretted that we do not give its just 
. measure of honor and praise to home life. There is certainly 
need of a great poet or artist who will divert the attention 
of many young girls from the airy phantoms which they are 
now chasing, and help them to fix their affections upon 
things that make for more substantial character.” 

Boys are usually trained for practical life. 
Dudley plans to be a farmer, a blacksmith, a 
mechanic, or a teacher. Why should not Gladys 
and Beulah plan for the work of their choice, 
keeping in mind, however, the possible husband 
and children? There is no business under the 
sun that a woman of the right sort will not for¬ 
sake for a loving home and wifely cares. Her 
first thought, therefore, will be to qualify thor¬ 
oughly as a good wife and mother; then she will 
add other graces and accomplishments according 
to taste, means, and opportunity. 

“Live for something, have a purpose, 

And that purpose keep in view; 

Drifting like a helmless vessel, 

Thou canst ne’er to life be true. 


WINSOME YOUNG WOMEN 


349 


Half the wrecks that strew life’s ocean, 

If some star had been their guide, 

Might have now been safely riding; 

But they drifted with the tide.” 

There are lessons taught by the life of Alice 
Freeman Palmer. As a child, she was a poor 
farmer’s daughter. She was “first aid” to her 
dauntless mother, and was her father’s compan¬ 
ion and friend. 

In her girlhood, few women obtained a col¬ 
lege education. She broached the subject to her 
father one evening, and he looked at her in 
amazement. 

“Why, daughter,” he said, “a little more 
Latin and mathematics won’t make you a better 
homemaker! Why should you set your heart 
on this thing?” 

“I must go, father,” she answered steadily. 
“It is not a sudden notion; I have realized, for 
a long time, that I cannot live my life — the life 
that I feel 1 have it within me to live — without 
this training. I want to be a teacher — the best 
kind of teacher — just as you wanted to be a 
doctor. ’ ’ 

And to college she went. She met obstacles, 
disappointments, privations, but conquered all. 
She taught with ever-increasing success till she 
became the beloved president of Wellesley Col¬ 
lege. For six years as “Princess of Wellesley,” 
she ruled her kingdom wisely. She raised the 
standard of work, enlisted the interest and sup¬ 
port of those who could help, added to buildings 





( 


350 THE REAL HOME 

and equipment, and won the enthusiastic co¬ 
operation of students, faculty, and public. Then, 
one day, she left others to go on with the work 
she had begun. She married Professor George 
Herbert Palmer, of Harvard, and (quite in the 
manner of fiction tales) 44 lived happily ever 
after. ’ ’ 

“What a disappointment,” some of her 
friends said, “that a woman of such unusual 
powers and gifts should deliberately leave such 
a field of usefulness to shut herself up in a 
single home!” 

“There is nothing better than the making of 
a true home,” said Alice Freeman Palmer. “I 
shall not be shut away from the concerns of 
others, but more truly a part of them; 4 for love 
is fellow-service,’ I believe.” 

Her home became an inspiration and pattern 
for other homes. Mrs. Palmer gave herself 
without stint to the betterment of other lives. 
She never worried. She lived one day at a time 
without 44 looking before and after.” Her su¬ 
preme test of life and of education was its 
44 consecrated serviceableness.” Her example is 
worthy of imitation. 

DUTY TO PARENTS 

Sometimes a girl’s mother is her biggest prob¬ 
lem. Likewise the daughter is a problem to the 
mother. They look at matters from different 
viewpoints. Some one has said: 


WINSOME YOUNG WOMEN 351 

“When a baseball team isn’t playing a good game, when 
a quartet isn’t singing well, when a parade isn’t moving 
smoothly, some one from the crowd is likely to call out, ‘Get 
together, there; get together!’ It’s slangy, but it has the 
right meaning. And when I see a mother who isn’t inter¬ 
ested, or is too busy, or can’t understand; when I see a 
daughter who is pretty, and headstrong, and full of wild 
youth; when I see them playing the game unskillfully, or 
getting the music wrong, I want to call out, loud enough for 
them to hear, ‘Get together!’ ” 

It is a human tragedy when mother and 
daughter living under one roof, find themselves 
in different worlds. 

A girl once said to Marion Harland, “When 
I am in doubt as to the right or wrong of any 
course, I ask myself, ‘Can I tell mother what I 
mean to do ? ’ If I am not willing to talk it over 
with her, I know there is something wrong 
about it.” 

There is an old statute on the Law Book 
w T hich still stands: “Honor thy father and thy 
mother.” And this obligation is binding in 
youth as in childhood. Daughters are in debt 
to their parents. They have no right to rule the 
house, to laugh at father and mother as old- 
fashioned, and to pay no respect to their wishes 
or counsel. 

It has been truly said: “Insolence is always 
ugly, and disrespect to parents is always wrong. 
No one can be more cruel than a full-grown girl. ’ 9 

“Is father’s eyesight growing dim, 

His form a little lower ? 

Is mother’s hair a little gray, 

Her step a little slower ? 


352 


TEE REAL HOME 


Is life’s hill growing hard to climb ? 

Make not their pathway steeper; 

Smooth out the furrows on their brows — 

Oh, do not make them deeper! 

“There’s nothing makes a face so young 
As joy, youth’s fairest token; 

And nothing makes a face grow old 
Like hearts that have been broken. 

Muck have thy parents borne for thee; 

Be now their tender keeper, 

And let them lean upon thy love — 

Don’t make the wrinkles deeper.” 

“I never expect to eat cookies as good as 
yours, mother, 7 7 said a middle-aged woman; and 
she was shocked when she saw mother’s delight 
at her words, for she remembered she had not 
spoken in years of the comfort and skill which 
had filled her girlhood with pleasure. 

‘ 6 How pretty you look in that dress, mother! 7 7 
coming from daughter, will thrill the mother 
heart with joy. 

In one family (Can you give the name?), it 
was mother who went without a new dress when 
it was sadly needed, that daughter might have a 
new suit. It was mother who stayed at home 
to look after the house while the young folks 
went to the lecture or concert. Somebody found 
her, after hunting a long time, on the attic stairs, 
having a lonesome cry all by herself. In this 
family, a council was called, and a law was made 
that whenever it was possible for mother to have 
a good time, she was to “run away 77 and have 
it, and the family would abide the consequences. 


WINSOME YOUNG WOMEN 353 

Daughters do not mean to be selfish, but 
mother has so long given up her own pleasure 
for them that they — well, let us say they forget 
she is human and would enjoy a lecture, an out¬ 
ing, a visit, or a new gown. 

And father — what of him ? He may not say 
much, but some daughters fail to treat him and 
his opinions with the respect that is his due. 

It is father who carried daughter on his 
shoulder, told her stories, and bought her toys, 
in her early childhood. It was he who wore the 
threadbare suit or went without an overcoat, 
that she might have clothes, and pleasures, and 
schooling. 

It is father who feels for his wayward child; 
and in secret, the tears course down his cheeks, 
as he thinks of his daughter’s waywardness. 

What reward does he receive for all his sacrifice 

* 

and toil ? How it would cheer his heart to hear 
a few words of appreciation, to feel a pair of 
soft arms round his neck, and an occasional kiss 
on his cheek, when daughter does not wish to 
ask for some favor she fears he will think he 
cannot provide. 

There are times when daughters are away 
from home. How greatly they are missed they 
cannot know. Then is the time to write the long, 
newsy letters which will bring such delight to 
the parents. 

One girl while in school had not written to her 
mother for a month. It was a time when a 
deadly epidemic was abroad in the land, and 


23 



THE BEAL HOME 


354 


great anxiety was felt by the parents lest their 
daughter had been stricken. A telegram was 
sent, and then came this letter: 


“Dear Mother: Why did you send that night letter ? Of 
course I am well, but have been too busy to write. So much 
has been happening here — boys’ reception, and other ex¬ 
citing things. Wore the new dress you sent me. 

“The girls are waiting for me to play tennis, so I do not 
have time to write more now. 


“P. S. I 
of new shoes. 


“Hastily, 

“Alice. 

need at least twelve dollars at once for a pair 
' “A.” 


In another home, a mother was waiting for a 
letter. She felt sure it would come, for Dorothy 
was faithful in writing every week. Nor was 
she disappointed. She found a long and loving 
missive, which read: 

“ ‘Mother o’ mine’: Only one more month, and I shall be 
with you again. I can just imagine myself watching for 
you to come up the path at night. But until then, mother 
dear, the best I can do is to send you a letter. I wish I could 
meet the man who invented letter writing. Just think of all 
the pleasure we have had these three years in writing and 
receiving letters! 

“Mother dear, ‘spring o’ the year’ is here. There is a 
perfect medley outdoors — the dance of the leaves, auto¬ 
mobiles honking, myriad bugs, perfume of apple blossoms, 
flashes of bluebirds, laughter of children, balmy breezes, 
beckoning boughs, sunshine and shadow, rakes and hoes, and 
the urge of the open air. It is not the easiest tiling in the 
world to attend to studies these days; but when I remember 
how you have worked for me in all kinds of weather, I de¬ 
cide that I must succeed. Of course I go out as often as I 
can, for I want to be w r ell and strong when I come back 
to you. 


WINSOME YOUNG WOMEN 355 

"Now for the big news: All arrangements are completed 
for me to teach school at home next year! Can you imagine 
all that means? I shall be at home with you all the year, 
and you will not need to work so hard. I did not dare tell 
you all this till it was definitely settled. Isn't it wonderful? 

"I am so glad I have been in a school the past three years 
where high ideals are held before us. Last night our pre¬ 
ceptress gave us a little talk on ‘Look up, not down; look 
forward, not backward; and you shall find that which you 
seek — happiness.’ That must account for your happiness, 
mother; for I could not help thinking that you have always 
done just that. 

“God bless you, and repay you for all your love to me. 

“Lovingly, as ever, 

“Dorothy.” 

And the letter writing to dear ones at home 
should not cease when daughters have homes of 
their own. 

A minister’s wife had a book handed her one 
evening, and she thought she would spend the 
quiet time reading it. But as she opened the 
book, she remembered that was the evening to 
write to her parents, for it had been her custom 
for years to send them a long, interesting letter 
each week. She was tempted to delay; but her 
heart whispered, “You will not have them al¬ 
ways.” She closed the book and began her 
letter. A few days later the reply came; and 
as she read, how grateful she felt that she had 
written home instead of reading the interesting 
book! The mother’s letter follows: 

“Our dear, dear Child: 

“Father and I had a rather dull day yesterday. It 
rained so hard he couldn’t attend to anything outside. I 
was a trifle upset for me; nothing for you to worry about, 


356 


THE BEAL HOME 


just a slight attack of grip, but it kept me on the couch, and 
I couldn’t read aloud to father. He hates to read aloud him¬ 
self, you know. We fell to talking about you, of your first 
day at school, and how proud you were of your new hair 
ribbons and } r our first lunch basket. I remember there was 
a little turnover hot from the oven in it. 

“Then somehow we didn’t talk any more for quite a 
while, and the rain beat on the windows, and the old clock 
ticked so slowly it seemed to be going to sleep. Along to¬ 
ward five o’clock father seemed to get restless. He kept 
getting up and going to the window. I didn’t say anything, 
but we were both thinking of your letter, which was due. 

“ ‘There, I just heard the train whistle. Didn’t you, 
mother V 

“‘Yes,’ I said; ‘the mail will be in in a few minutes.’ 

“Father went over to the corner cupboard and took out 
his overshoes. 

“ ‘Are you going to the village in all this rain V said I. 

“ ‘It’s let up a good deal,’ said he, putting on the rubbers. 

“ ‘Why don’t you send Hiram V I asked. 

“‘Well, you know, mother, I set store on seeing that let¬ 
ter lying in the box, and I like to have it handed out to me 
and drive home with it in my pocket. I keep thinking all 
the way what a good time we’ll have reading it together. 
Katherine’s a good girl. She never forgets us.’ 

“The next hour seemed short to me, thinking of the treat 
that was coming; and when I heard the wheels coming up 
the lane, I almost forgot about the grip, getting the lamp 
lighted. We thought we’d have supper before we read the 
letter, because so long as we had it right in hand, it sort of 
made us happier to wait a bit. So afterward, when father 
had put another log on the hearth and was all settled in his 
chair, I drew up my little rocker under the light and man¬ 
aged to read it to him. I was pretty husky, but we didn’t 
either of us mind that. 

“Katherine, that was the best letter you ever, ever wrote. 
We laughed till we cried over your reading the Bible to old 
Mrs. Cook, and then walking off with her pocketbook. You 
always were absent-minded. But it was a funny thing for 
a pastor’s wife to do, and we knew just how embarrassed you 
must have felt when you went back with it after prayer 


WINSOME YOUNG WOMEN 


357 


meeting. And before we finished, we cried the other sort of 
tears, right from the heart, over the sweet, loving words you 
said of your old father and mother. God bless you, dear! 
You turned a dreary day into a bright and happy one. Fm 
much better to-day, although I did not venture out to 
church. Love from both of us. 

“Your affectionate 

“Mother.” 


“THAT GOOD part” 

The young women of to-clay will be the wives 
and mothers of to-morrow. While they are 
qualifying themselves for any position to which 
they may be called, one very important prepara¬ 
tion is sometimes not taken into account. 

Rosalie’s experience as a Christian had been 
unsatisfactory. She confided to Aunt Millie the 
story of her failure: 

“You see, my religion disappoints me. I joined the 
church, and thought I had given my heart to Christ, but I 
never understood what that meant. I go to church, I try to 
do right, but I can’t see that religion makes things different. 
I suppose I don’t go at it right.” 

“There’s but one way to do it, dear. Were you sincere 
in your wish to belong to the Lord, and willing to surrender 
all to Him?” Aunt Millie spoke very tenderly. 

“Oh, yes! At least, I thought I was, auntie. I suppose 
it was because I didn’t know how to give myself that it has 
been such a failure.” Rosalie looked downcast, but her aunt 
picked up her sewing and asked briskly, “How did your 
rehearsal go last night ?” 

“Lovely,” the girl responded. “This recital is going to 
be the best we’ve ever given.” 

“That’s encouraging,” and Aunt Millie nodded approv¬ 
ingly. “It must make you musicians happy to accomplish 
so much with so little effort.” 

Her niece stared with wide eyes. “How can you say 
that, auntie ? We work almost all the time. I’ve practiced 


THE REAL HOME 


358 

hours daily, and have given up almost every sort of good 
time this term. Not that I mind,” she added hastily. “The 
music is worth it; and the knowledge that Fm acquiring will 
be a joy to me after all the parties and festivals are long 
forgotten.” 

“Why should you work so hard over your music, girlie ? 
You don’t expect to teach; your father is amply able to care 
for you. It seems too much for your parents to expect you 
to endure such drudgery.” 

“If anybody but you said that, auntie, I’d scold.” Even 
as it was, Rosalie’s eyes snapped. “I love music too well to 
trifle with it; and if you want to succeed, you simply have 
to give yourself to it with all your heart. You don’t call it 
drudgery when you love it.” 

“But, Rosalie dear, I understood you to say that you 
didn’t know how to give yourself; that you had tried, and 
failed to understand the way this was accomplished.” 

The girl caught her breath; then she asked suddenly, “Is 
it the same, auntie ?” 

“The very same, my child. ‘Give yourself to it with all 
your heart/ You couldn’t have described it better.” 

“But, auntie, I love music so!” 

“And not your Saviour?” 

“Oh, I do, indeed I do! But somehow I feel so far away 
from Him — as if I were not acquainted.” 

“Child, do you ever get acquainted by keeping your dis¬ 
tance ? Did you and Dellice, whom you so dearly love, know 
each other at first as you do now? Did your affection de¬ 
velop through silence and absence, or through daily com¬ 
panionship ?” 

“The latter, of course, auntie.” 

“Then can’t you draw the comparison? Two of my 
friends went to hear Paderewski play. One was over¬ 
whelmed with the beauty and brilliancy of his playing; the 
other thought our town teacher played better.” 

“Auntie, you can't mean it!” Rosalie’s face looked 
horrified. 

“Yes, dear. One critic had ‘given herself’ to the study 
of music and knew how to appreciate an artist. The other 
had never ‘got acquainted.’ It shocks you to hear of such 
ignorance; but there is a more important study than music, 


WINSOME YOUNG WOMEN 359 

a greater Master to whom you can give yourself than Beetho¬ 
ven or Liszt. But it is done the same way, my child.” 

The girl fixed her eyes on the work done by the slender 
fingers of her aunt, but she did not see it. Her thoughts 
were busy elsewhere, and auntie prayed that the puzzling 
problem might be solved. Rosalie sat up straight at last. 
“Aunt Millie, I see it. I was foolish not to know before. I 
just have to live it out, don’t I ?” 

“Yes, dear. Just live it out. Show your love for your 
Saviour as you show your love for music, by being willing 
to make sacrifices for it, by letting it dominate your work 
and pursuits. Take my word for it, Rosalie, it is never our 
Lord who is Tar away’ from us. We are the wanderers from 
Him, and the best way to lessen the dreary distance is to 
give ourselves unreservedly to Him.” 

“I see, auntie. Wasn’t it Peter who once followed Him 
‘afar off’ ?” 

“Yes, dear; and many Peters since then have done the 
same sad thing.” 

The girl bestowed on her aunt a clinging kiss. “I’m 
going to begin at once,” she said with determination. “I’ve 
got a glimpse of possibilities and needs. 0 Aunt Millie, I 
feel as if I’d lost a heavy burden since talking with you!” 

Auntie smiled. “It won’t be altogether easy, dear child,” 
she warned her; “but it is worth the struggle, and there is 
always the ‘armor of God’ for soldiers of the cross.” 

“I’ll remember, and thank you!” exclaimed Rosalie. 

Two months later there was another visit. “I’m glad to 
be back,” she declared. “I’ve missed your greatly, auntie. 
Did you have, a good time V ’ 

“Lovely, dear. Did you ?” 

Rosalie slowly nodded assent. “Yes, I did, auntie. It 
hasn’t always been easy, as you said, but it has already paid 
for what it cost — the effort, I mean.” 

“Of course, my child. Tell me all about it.” 

“It began the evening you went away,” said Rosalie. 
“We had a rehearsal that night. I’d no idea my new dis¬ 
covery would be needed there, because you know if there is 
anything I try to be faithful about, it is my music. Ella 
Carey was there. She’d been absent three weeks, and any¬ 
body knows that no player in an amateur orchestra can miss 


THE REAL HOME 


360 

that many rehearsals and then perform soon after in an 
important recital. I certainly was angry when I saw h$r. 
We all were. We knew her mother had been very sick, but 
that didn’t make Ella play any better. Excuses can never 
take the place of hard work, Aunt Millie.” 

“True enough. Always remember that,” smiled the 
listener. 

“I will,” Rosalie agreed. “Anyway, I realized it hard 
and fast enough that night, and was so provoked at Ella’s 
presumption that it would have done me good had Professor 
Chambers hung his baton at her when she made a dreadful 
break right in the middle of our gorgeous overture. Pie was 
angry, too; his eyes snapped as he rapped for order and 
made us start all over. If you'll believe it, she did the same 
thing again in the same place. Her violin fairly howled 
in discord. 

“I won't bother you with all the harrowing details, but 
it finally occurred to me that I was not giving myself to the 
Lord while feeling so unkindly to one of His children. 
That sobered me, I tell you, after all my good resolutions. 
Early next morning, I went to Ella’s; and I stayed with her 
all forenoon. We practiced together, and smoothed every¬ 
thing out straight and fine, and mastered all the catchy 
places. She declares she will never forget it — that I saved 
her from being dropped and disappointing her father and 
mother. They are so ambitious for her, and she hasn’t had 
a fair show. Anyway, she has played beautifully ever since, 
and Professor Chambers beams instead of glowers. 

“T'hat’s the way I learned that giving ourselves to God 
means giving ourselves to His creatures who need us. I’ve 
found lots of ways to do it since. 

“The next day, it was Brother Ted. He’s been such a 
trial to me, auntie, with his teasing and his loud voice. His 
songs were regular thorns in my flesh — not one thorn, but 
heaps, like pins in a dressmaker’s cushion. I’ve snubbed 
him unmercifully most of his life. I did it conscientiously, 
because I thought it was the only way to keep him even as 
moderate as he was. But one day when I heard him picking 
out his dreadful ragtime on the piano, with one finger, it 
occurred to me to wonder how I’d feel if I didn't know how 
and nobody took any interest in me. Surely if I was giving 
myself to Christ, Ted ought to get a little benefit of it. 


WINSOME YOUNG WOMEN 


361 


“Aunt Millie, maybe you think ragtime never did any 
good; but I believe it may, sometimes. I just swept that 
boy off the stool, and played his rollicking tangle as if I 
loved every horrid note. Then I played it again, and half 
a dozen others. You can’t guess the reward I’ve had. We’re 
good comrades already, and Ted acts as though he really 
loved his crosspatch sister. 

“Yes, indeed. I’m playing ragtime regularly; but he 
asked for one of my sonatas last night, and listened as 
though he loved it all the way through. ‘It’s different, isn’t 
it, sis — and better?’ he said after I had finished. ‘Could 
I ever learn ?’ So there’s no telling but he may be a Pade¬ 
rewski himself some day. Stranger things have happened. 

“Then there’s mother, bless her, and dear old dad. I’ve 
imposed on them all sorts of ways — taking everything and 
giving nothing. But I shan’t any more. Mother and I hob¬ 
nob cozily over the mending basket, or dad rests his tired 
eyes while I read aloud, and improve my own mind with his 
favorite Emerson and Ruskin. I’m afraid I’d never have 
read them for myself under the shining sun; but I’m catch¬ 
ing some sparks of wisdom, which I hope will stick fast. 

“Next my girl chums — every one has some need I can 
help to meet; and our boy friends, who are a great responsi¬ 
bility. Auntie, the chances are everywhere. I wouldn’t stop 
living for anything now. Life is more interesting than I 
ever dreamed it could be, though I have always had a pretty 
good time. 

“I’m not boasting. I haven’t done half what I ought; 
but I’m seeing the glimmer of sunrise, and I hope to see 
high noon some day.” 

“You think you are really His, my child ?” Aunt Millie’s 
question was solemnly put, but the girlish face glowed 
happily. 

“I don’t think, auntie; I know it. I’m giving my life 
anew to Him every day; and there isn’t any doubt about 
His having accepted me, unworthy as I am.” 

“Then you’ve made His acquaintance? You know Him 
as your friend ?” 

Rosalie bowed her head reverently. “Yes, auntie, I know 
Him — my best and dearest Friend .”—"Young People.” 


362 


THE REAL HOME 


■r 


Every young woman may have Rosalie’s ex¬ 
perience in finding the joy and satisfaction of 
true living. To each the Saviour will be the 
personal, ever-present, loving Friend. 

I've found a Friend; oh, such a Friend! 

He loved me ere I knew Him: 

He drew me with the cords of love, 

And thus He bound me to Him. 

And round my heart still closely twine 
Those ties that naught can sever, 

For I am His, and He is mine, 

Forever and forever. 

Fve found a Friend; oh, such a Friend! 

So kind, and true, and tender, 

So wise a Counselor and Guide, 

So mighty a Defender. 

From Him, who lovetli me so well, 

What power my soul can sever? 

Shall life or death, or earth or hell ? 

No; I am His forever. 


J. G. Small. 


Chapter Twenty-Two 
“THAT OUTWARD ADORNING” 


“T SUPPOSE you will say that I think too 
J- much about dress,” said a young woman to 
a friend. “You see, my engagement with the 
dressmaker put everything else out of my 
head,” she added in apology for having neg¬ 
lected a duty. 

“No, I shall not say you think too much of 
dress,” was the reply. “I believe we do not 
think half enough about it. ’ ’ 

The astonished girl gazed at the plain, prac¬ 
tical woman before her. “I thought surely you 
would sav it is a waste of time, and that women 
are weak-minded if they give much thought to 
what they wear,” she slowly said. 

“I believe one may think too much about it; 
but it all depends - on how we think of our 
clothes, and the value we place upon them, ’ ’ said 
her friend. “We may be idolaters, and worship 
dress as verily as a heathen bows down to an 
image. Sometimes we endure great suffering, 
deprive ourselves of health, wealth, peace of 
mind, comfort, and make ourselves and others 
miserable, by bowing down to the goddess Fash¬ 
ion. There is a demand for earnest, sensible 
consideration of the question of clothes by those 
who would not worship at this false shrine.” 

Those who are wise will manifest good sense 
on this important subject. There is cause for 

( 363 ) 


364 


THE REAL HOME 


regret and alarm as the multitude are seen slav¬ 
ishly following any custom of fashion, no matter 
how indecent or shocking. 

Viscountess Astor, the first woman to become 
a member of the British Parliament, deals with 
the subject of dress in a popular magazine under 
the heading,— 

“WOMEN SHOULD DRESS DECENTLY” 

“This opens up such a large field that I hardly know 
where to begin, but I hope I shall not be thought frivolous 
if I speak about dress. Man has a great argument against 
us there, and rightly. Every woman likes to look neat, and 
to be becomingly dressed. Even men like that; but women 
often do not stop there. We talk glibly of young girls 7 being 
lured to their doom by wicked men; but iDefore we lay the 
whole blame on the men, let us think for a moment whether 
we are always blameless. 

“Too often immodest dressing is a heavy contributor to 
immorality. If more women realize this, they will give up 
the more alluring fashions, as thousands of men have given 
up drink for the same cause. 

“Don’t forget that the fashions are often led by women 
whose very livelihood depends on calling attention to their 
physical charms, and thousands of modest, high-minded 
women follow in the wake, quite unconscious of what they 
are doing. Let us therefore look into this question of dress, 
and try, at the least, to appear as decent and modest as men 
in our clothes.” 

Is it not surprising that men are more modest 
and sensible in their clothing than women? 
Modesty is supposed to be one of the chief 
charms of womanhood; and it is astonishing to 
know that prevailing styles have led women to 
lose that charm, and to imitate those who have 
fallen from purity and virtue. 


"TEAT OUTWARD ADORNING’’ 


365 


Dr. Talmage once declared: 

“Men are as much the idolaters of fashion as women, but 
they sacrifice on a different part of the altar. With men, the 
fashion goes to cigars, clubhouses, yachting parties, and 
banquets. In the United States, men chew and smoke mil¬ 
lions of dollars’ worth of tobacco every year. That is their 
fashion.” 


And now, not content with their own extrava¬ 
gance and folly, women are more and more 
imitating the fashions of men. According to a 
statement made by D. H. Kress, M. D., 

“Girls possess the same cravings that boys do for tobacco. 
The only thing that has in the past saved them from smoking 
cigarettes is public prejudice. Let this be removed, and 
millions of nervous women will find in the cigarette just 
what they have been longing for.” 

And when cigarette smoking becomes “the 
style,” women will adopt it as quickly as other 
styles. Conscience, health, children, will not be 
considered. The motto is constantly adhered to, 
“As well be out of the world as out of fashion.” 

There are right principles in dress which 
sensible, thoughtful women will adopt. First in 
importance is dressing for health. “Is not the 
body more than raiment?” is still a question, 
though modern fashion declares that raiment is 
of more value than the body. 

Clothes were given us on account of sin. Is 
it not an evidence of our perversity that that 
which should be our shame has become our pride ? 

Adam and Eve sewed fig leaves together and 
made themselves a scanty covering. But the 


366 


THE HEAL HOME 


Creator saw that more than an “apron” was 
necessary, so He made ‘‘coats of skins, and 
clothed them.” No sheer, transparent, abbre¬ 
viated dress met His approval. That which was 
substantial and afforded protection was substi¬ 
tuted. As the first man and woman looked at 
their garments, they remembered that their own 
sin brought death, and that only the death of 
Christ could save them from its consequences. 

Clothing gives warmth and comfort to the 
body. In a steam-heating system, it is unneces¬ 
sary to cover the engine so it may retain heat; 
but the long pipes that convey the steam to 
different buildings require wrappings to con¬ 
serve the heat, that warmth may be furnished 
where needed. 

So in dressing the body: the parts nearest the 
heart need least clothing, while the limbs require 
more. Men generally clothe their limbs equably; 
but women often load the trunk with warm 
wraps and furs, and chill the extremities by in¬ 
adequate dressing. 

If the garments are worn loosely, they will not 
compress the body, nor will it be hindered in its 
movements. Neither should clothes be burden¬ 
some because of their weight. If all clothing is 
suspended from the shoulders instead of the 
waist and the hips, it will add to the comfort, 
freedom, and health of the wearer. 

Not so long ago it was fashionable to constrict 
the waist by tight, stiff corsets. Happily this 
custom lias sufficiently changed so that women 


“THAT OUTWARD ADORNING” 367 

may wear their dresses loose and still be counted 
well dressed. The clothing is also lighter in 
weight. It is no longer thought necessary to 
wear three or four wide, heavy skirts. Perhaps 
one extreme has followed another, the skirts 
worn later being so thin as not to give sufficient 
warmth. 

With the heavy skirts, the long, trailing 
dresses also disappeared. These were once 
dragged through the streets till they were abomi¬ 
nably filthy, and a constant menace to health. 
But as long as they were fashionable, they were 
worn; and if “in style,” they would be worn 
again. There are few indeed who dare disre¬ 
gard Fashion’s decree. 

EXPENSIVE DRESS 

One sound principle to he followed is, to 
avoid extravagance in dress. Pride leads to dis¬ 
play, and garments are multiplied and made 
expensive to gratify the vanity of the wearer. 
This propensity leads to dishonesty. The hus¬ 
band’s credit is overdrawn, and merchants and 
dressmakers are not paid. Women sometimes 
steal to gratify their pride. When love of dress 
is indulged at the cost of character, when temp¬ 
tation is constantly before women and girls that 
they may wear finer clothes than they can afford, 
it is time to call a halt. 

One popular writer for women computes that 
the capital invested in the indulgence of per¬ 
sonal vanity equals half the wealth of the world. 


368 


THE REAL HOME 


It is both foolish and wicked for women to rush 
to the shops with every changing season to buy 
some new novelty which is absolutely unneces¬ 
sary, simply that they may be arrayed in the 
latest fashion. 

The time is here and now for sensible women 
to dress sensibly and within their income. They 
have a right to appear beautiful and attractive 
in their clothes, to have what is necessary for 
comfort and protection if it can be afforded; but 
we may well pause before indulging a craving 
for showy, unnecessary articles, especially when 
we remember that others will imitate our ex¬ 
ample if it is wrong. 

DRESS IN EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS 

Our schools foster pride and extravagance by 
permitting lavish display in dress at commence¬ 
ment exercises. Parents, already heavily bur¬ 
dened, must provide party dresses, class-night 
and graduation gowns, and all the accessories, 
which make a total expense that can ill be 
afforded. But they dislike to disappoint their 
children, so the outfit is secured. 

But in some schools, the question of gradua¬ 
tion dress has been studied, and the graduates 
have decided to wear uniform frocks, which 
would not be so expensive as to be beyond the 
reach of the poorer students. In one prominent 
school, the principal wrote to the mothers, urg¬ 
ing them to discuss the matter of dress with 
their daughters, so they might be able to choose 


“THAT OUTWARD ADORNING" 369 

wisely. The girls appointed a committee to 
select a suitable costume, and the young women 
made their own dresses. The material for each 
cost five dollars. This example is worthy of 
imitation. 

FREAK FASHIONS 

In tropical climates, the people wear very 
little clothing. Some esteem a girdle sufficient 
covering, but civilized people regard nakedness 
as improper and indecent. 

The past few years, costumes have become 
more and more daring; and fashion dictates that 
instead of being modest and for protection, the 
dress must be conspicuous because of its im¬ 
modesty and exposure of the form. Fashionable 
models are exhibited with the back naked to the 
waist line. The arms are bare, the throat and 
the chest uncovered. 

Meanwhile skirts have grown shorter and 
shorter.* Women wriggle about in “tubes,” for 
it is impossible for them to walk naturally. 
Finally “knee length” skirts came into fashion. 
Will they grow more and more scant and short? 
The lower limbs are barely covered by silk stock¬ 
ings so sheer that it is difficult to say if they are 
covered at all; and finally no stockings at all was 
the fashion, or if any were worn, they were 
folded at the top, thus leaving the knees exposed. 
With such costumes, expensive shoes were de¬ 
manded, pointed at the toe, and with such high, 

♦Just now there is a change to longer skirts. How long it may last no one 
knows. Another freak in fashions may be born to-morrow. This book deals 
with principles entirely.— Editor. 


24 



370 


THE REAL HOME 


narrow lieels that it was impossible to walk with 
ease. The time may come when women who call 
themselves civilized will imitate the uncivilized 
savage in undress as far as the law will allow. 

These immodest and indecent fashions have 
an influence on all grades of society. Bare 
chests, backs, and limbs are seen on the street, 
in business offices, everywhere. At first, people 
looked and gasped, then they tolerated, then imi¬ 
tated. It seems unnecessary to say that while 
being shockingly immodest, the dress described 
is most unliealthful and inconvenient. 

A MONARCH AND THE SLIT SKIRT 

King Albert of Belgium is strongly and 
rightly opposed to the freak fashions in woman’s 
dress, and he evidently spares no pains to make 
his antipathy widely known. At a court ball, 
King Albert noticed a woman wearing a slit 
skirt of a most pronounced type. He immedi¬ 
ately whispered instructions in the ears of the 
court marshal. The latter performed a delicate 
and disagreeable task in the following manner: 
Offering the woman his arm, he led her from the 
ballroom, remarking, “His majesty has noticed 
that you have torn your dress, and has requested 
me to escort you to your carriage to enable you 
to return home for repairs.” 

What is the effect morally of such costuming ? 
Let a young college man answer: 

“I rarely pick up a woman’s magazine nowadays without 
seeing an article on the double standard of morals. They 
are all the same, essentially, and their common line of 


"THAT OUTWARD ADORNING ■" 


371 

thought runs about like this: When a boy baby is born, he 
is just as soft and sweet and clean as his baby sister. His 
soul is just as pure and his mind as unsullied as hers. His 
body is just as beautiful and holy as hers. Why, then, 
should she be brought up to regard her body as sacred and 
her procreative power a thing to be reverenced and held in 
submission for its normal and natural purposes, while he is 
allowed to get his sex instruction from the street and grow 
up with the idea that the things that are morally wrong for 
his sister are natural rights of his ? Then the plea comes for 
a single standard of morals for the boy and his sister. 

“This is all very true and very good. I should not care 
to criticize it for a single minute, for it may be the leaven 
working for a great reform. I do know this to be true: 
The boy will never grow up as pure as his sister, because 
his sister and the other fellow’s sister will not let him. Per¬ 
haps that sounds strange, but I believe I can prove my case. 

“I am a boy myself, a twenty-five-year-old boy, and I can 
speak from my own experience and the experience of dozens 
of other boys whom I have known and have come into inti¬ 
mate contact with in college and high school. Boys are not 
immoral at heart as a rule. Most of the boys I have known 
respect womanhood; and manhood, and try earnestly to keep 
themselves mentally and morally clean. And it is hard 
sledding, too. First of all, there is the ever-present, ever- 
functioning sex instinct. Then there are the stories and 
illustrations, even in the high-class magazines, that border 
always on the immoral and suggestive. With these we can 
class the movies and most theatrical performances. Finally 
comes the thing that to most of us is the biggest stumbling- 
block, the manner in which our women friends clothe them¬ 
selves. As I have said, I am twenty-five years old, and I 
have kept myself as clean physically as any girl that has ever 
lived. Mentally I am unclean. Why ? Because the women 
I know will not let me be clean. They are good girls, I know ; 
tall and straight and strong, clear-eyed and red-cheeked, 
wonderfully alive and full of good health and good spirits. 
I know that such physically perfect specimens of woman¬ 
hood could not have lived or thought wrongly, for they have 
the hall-marks of clean living and clean thinking written 
all over them. I respect them all, but still they constitute 
my moral problem. . . . 


372 


THE HEAL HOME 


“They are in our classes, and we meet them constantly 
on the campus and the streets of the town. They are an 
ever-present and indispensable feature of all our social 
functions. 

“Wherever we go we find them, clad in their waists of 
net or gauzelike silk that show bare arms, bare shoulders, 
and lingerie. Their skirts are short and light, and every 
passing breeze exposes to the knees daintily turned limbs 
clad in the sheerest of silk or lisle hose which are often 
striped or marked in other conspicuous ways. Very often 
the girl miscalculates the capacity of her skirts (let us give 
her the benefit of the doubt), and her form stands silhou- 
" etted in our bright Western sun as that of a classic dancer 
in her draperies would be. This is not alone true of the 
college girls or girls of college age, but even the little girls 
of high school age. 

“What is a fellow going to do? We don’t go around 
looking for these things, but we cannot help seeing them. 
No matter how much one may respect a girl, it is an effort 
for him to keep his thoughts from straying when she exposes 
too much of her body in the way she does. . . . 

“I know, from the contact I have had with so many 
college boys, that the sensual thing about woman’s dress is 
that it neither conceals nor discloses the body of the wearer. 
It is designed to show as much as society will allow, and the 
psychological tendency to complete in the mind an object 
that is imperfectly seen does the rest. It is the imagination 
that is called into play that does the havoc. . . . 

“My ‘roomie’ has said many a time when his moral going 
was rocky: ‘The way these girls dress! If they are going to 
wear clothes at all why don’t they wear enough to cover 
themselves up !”’—“American Motherhood.” 

It is not only the religions press and the edu¬ 
cators of the country that speak in condemna¬ 
tion of the styles of dress that have become so 
conspicuous in their daring and suggestiveness, 
but men and women of the world are voicing 
their protest in the secular press. They see in 
the immodest dressing a menace and a symptom 


“THAT OUTWARD ADORNING 9 ' 


373 

of the deadening of the conscience, and a depre¬ 
ciation of character of which the dress is only 
a symptom and not the disease itself. 

Of the protests which one may read, a sample 
is quoted from the Los Angeles daily Times of 
February 8, 1921, from an editorial which makes 
this shocking arraignment: 

“We had supposed that the decadence obvious in the 
sartorial modes for society women reached its limit last 
year, and that a saner and more decent sense of propriety 
would evince itself in the revulsion of public taste. But the_ 
tendency to bizarre indecency has increased, so that now we 
are offered in our public ballrooms the spectacle of criminal 
impropriety,— of women’s bare legs and painted knees, of 
naked backs and lewdly veiled bosoms, of transparent skirts 
and suggestive nudity, of decorated flesh and vulgar expo¬ 
sure generally,— this sort of thing that has ever preceded 
the downfall of civilizations. It has no relation whatever 
to the nudity of innocence, as is perfectly obvious with one 
glance at the type of dancing women that affects these dis¬ 
gusting extremes, for their whole deportment is so entirely 
in accord with their scant covering and nastily conceived 
exposures. They are brazenly inviting a certain kind of 
attention, and they get only the sort of attention they invite. 
They are degrading all womanhood with their shamelessness, 
at a time when the more worthy of their sex have striven 
to win and deserve that respect which should rightfully 
be theirs. 

“The people are all overwhelmed with the appalling 
crime wave that has beset the world,— not only by murders, 
robberies, and holdups, but by the ghastly increase in mari¬ 
tal unfaithfulness which clogs the divorce courts, and the 
attacks against women and girls which have become a daily 
department of the news. 

“The incredible and loathsome conditions cannot be over¬ 
stated. They are widespread, staggering in their vicious¬ 
ness. And we unhesitatingly declare that the preposterous 
vulgarity and criminal impropriety of that vastly increasing 
number of women who adopt these indecent modes for ‘party 


THE REAL HOME 


374 

gowns’ is, if not responsible for the dirty conditions, at least 
a large and important factor. And it is deplorable that, as 
the extremists jump from extreme to extreme, the pre¬ 
sumably decent women follow. They are slower to adopt the 
full measure of indecency, but each season finds them ‘con¬ 
servatively’ following at a respectful distance, so that the 
modes for decent women to-day were the extremes of in¬ 
decency a few short seasons back. . . . 

“The modern unchastity of women's clothes, the crude, 
lewd, wholly indefensible appeal to man’s lowest instincts, 
the deliberate trading on the unclean and lustful side of 
human nature, is, we repeat, a basic cause of that widespread 
dishonor and crime that are polluting civilization to-day. 

“Surely there are enough decent, intelligent, noble- 
minded women left to halt this mad craze for criminal im¬ 
propriety. Surely they can and will take the lead for 
purity, decency, and honor, rather than be content to follow 
at long distance the road which leads to nothing but degra¬ 
dation for all humanity. Women, and only women, can halt 
this mad delirium, this hideous craving for attention at any 
cost, at all costs. Where can it end, except in utter degra¬ 
dation, not only for their own sex, but for their husbands 
and their sons ?” 

A woman who had taught school for over 
thirty years gives some interesting information 
with reference to how she judged the character 
of her pupils. “When a new scholar was intro¬ 
duced,” she says, “I always looked first at her 
dress. If that was plain, neat, and tidy, I was 
confident I had good material to work with. 
Our school was so expensive that none but the 
daughters of the wealthy could possibly enter it; 
so when a young lady came to the classroom in 
a plain dress, I was sure it was because of her 
idea of the fitness of things. This argued com¬ 
mon sense. Common sense is always in direct 
antagonism to vanity; and where there is no 


“THAT OUTWARD ADORNING” 375 

vanity, there is seldom self-consciousness. So, 
you see, a plain dress came to mean a great deal 
to me. I learned never to expect anything from 
a girl whose school dress was of silk or velvet. 

“I shall always retain the impression made 
upon me by a quiet little body in a blue flannel 
dress. She came from one of the first families 
in wealth and culture, and was the most unob¬ 
trusive child I ever saw, as well as the most bril¬ 
liant. When she told me, graduation day, that 
she had decided to study to be a physician, I was 
not in the least surprised. I was sure she would 
succeed, as she certainly has in the most mar¬ 
velous manner. She carried off every honor, 
and though the girls in 6 purple and fine linen’ 
sneered at her plain attire and lack of style, 
there was not one who could ever compete 
with her.” 

But above all others, girls and women who 
profess to be Christians, should be modest and 
exemplary in dress. They will not be the first 
to adopt new styles, nor will they change their 
mode of dress with every freak of fashion. Per¬ 
fect neatness and good taste are always in accord 
with Christian character. The Bible gives plain 
instruction to women on this point, that they 
may have highest authority for not patterning 
after the world. 

“ Whose adorning let it not be that outward 
adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of 
gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be 
the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not 


376 


THE BEAL HOME 


corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and 
quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great 
price. ” 1 Peter 3: 3, 4. 

“In like manner also, that women adorn 
themselves in modest apparel, with shamefaced¬ 
ness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, 
or pearls, or costly array; but (which becometh 
women professing godliness) with good works.” 
1 Timothy 2: 9, 10. 

The Twentieth Century New Testament ren¬ 
ders the last text as follows: “I also desire that 
women should make themselves attractive by 
their discreet, quiet, and modest dress. They 
should not indulge in wreaths or gold ornaments 
for the hair, or in pearls, or expensive clothing, 
but,— as is proper for women who profess to be 
religious,— they should make themselves attrac¬ 
tive by their good actions.” 

But some women who decry the fashions, in¬ 
jure, by their lack of order, neatness, and good 
taste, the cause they profess to advocate. There 
is no excuse for soiled garments, loose buttons, 
rips pinned with safety pins, slatternly, ill- 
fitting gowns, or anything that shows lack of 
care and refinement. Such attire is utterly un¬ 
becoming a lady or a Christian. 

Clothes talk. They bear testimony concern¬ 
ing the character of those who wear them. The 
neat, sensibly dressed woman, even though her 
wardrobe may not be expensive, is attractive to 
those who are good judges of worth. 



“THAT OUTWARD ADORNING " 377 

One young woman became aware of the fact 
that her clothes “preached to others.’’ Every 
day, she crossed the city to her work. Somehow 
she seemed different from the swarm of young 
women who daily crowded the car. Finally the 
conductor approached her. 

“Pardon me, madam,” he began, “if I ask 
you a question; but every day, the neat, tasteful 
simplicity of your dress has attracted my atten¬ 
tion. I am curious to know why you dress as 
you do.” 

“May I ask you a question before I answer 
yours?” she said pleasantly. 

“Surely.” 

“Why do you wear that uniform?” 

“Oh, I wear that to show folks that I am em¬ 
ployed by the traction company.” 

“Well, I dress as I do to show all around me 
that I am a follower of Jesus Christ.” 


Chapter Twenty-Three 
THRIFT AND ECONOMY 


A PERSON without a home is like a ship 
without a haven. “O yes!” sneers one 
who has observed the family life of his acquaint¬ 
ances. “Anything but a home! Deliver me if 
my own must be like those of my friends.” 

WHY REAL HOMES ARE FEW 

Many a young man fears he cannot afford to 
marry. He knows his earning capacity; he 
knows also that to keep up appearances and to 
meet the style of living the young woman de¬ 
mands, will require a larger income than he can 
hope to possess. There are few indeed who are 
willing to do without luxuries till they can 
afford them. 

They count the cost too great to struggle till 
they secure a home where hearts count for more 
than outside glitter. 

The science of doing without is unpopular in 
this age of the world. There are just two ways 
to live an independent life: one is to make 
money enough to cover your wants; the other 
is to limit the wants so but little is needed to 
cover them. 

The wisest and wealthiest man that ever lived 
wrote some proverbs on thrift and good manage¬ 
ment. He was so rich that silver was unworthy 
a place on his table. He drank from a cup of 
gold. In fact, silver was not thought worthy to 

( 378 ) 


THRIFT AND ECONOMY 379 

be taken into account in the inventory of his 
riches. But though he was a multimillionaire, 
these were some of his maxims: 

“He that loveth pleasure [or sport] shall be 
a poor man: he that loveth wine and oil [luxu¬ 
ries] shall not be rich.” 

“ There is treasure to be desired and oil in 
the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man 
spendeth it up.” 

“Be thou diligent to know the state of thy 
flocks, and look well to thy herds. [That is, 
attend faithfully to business.] For riches are 
not forever.” 

“He that tilleth his land shall have plenty of 
bread: but he that followeth after vain persons 
shall have poverty enough.” 

“Much food is in the tillage of the poor: but 
there is that is destroyed for want of judgment.” 

“Better is a little with righteousness than 
great revenues [money gained by extortion and 
speculation] without right.” 

“Better is a dry morsel, and quietness there¬ 
with, than an house full of good cheer with 
strife. ’’ 

Our forefathers had two proverbs upon 
which they built their fortunes. The first was, 
“A penny saved is a penny earned.” The sec¬ 
ond w 7 as, “Take care of the pennies, and the 
dollars will take care of themselves.” 

A wealthy man said to his wife, “It isn’t what 
you can do with, Maria; it’s what you can do 
without 


380 the real home 

A schoolgirl won first prize for a definition of 
thrift when she wrote, “ Thrift is management 
of one’s affairs in such a manner that the value 
of one’s possessions is being constantly in¬ 
creased.” 

“i can’t afford it” 

It is seldom that these words are heard. In 
fact, any effort to instill habits of economy and 
thrift is resented. The tide of extravagant 
spending has swept over the land, and no ebb 
has yet set in. 

It is not only the rich who are extravagant. 
The price tag on any article desired is the last 
thing that concerns prospective buyers whether 
rich or poor. 

Not so long ago a man and a woman entered 
a store on Fifth Avenue, New York, and asked 
to see chinchilla coats then on exhibition. These 
people did not seem wealthy, and the merchant 
hardly expected a sale. When the price was 
asked, the reply was, 

“The price, madam, is fifteen thousand four 
hundred dollars, and—” 

“Wrap it up,” exclaimed the woman’s escort, 
for they were even then late to the theater to 
which they were going. 

A dealer mentioned that “moderately priced” 
furs were in “fairly good” demand, and when 
asked the price of these “moderately priced” 
garments, replied, “Oh, three thousand or five 
thousand dollar ones.” 


THRIFT AND ECONOMY 381 

A woman, shopping one day in Los Angeles, 
rode in a twelve thousand dollar limousine, to 
the largest and most popular shop in the city. 
After watching manikins dressed like queens 
for several hours, she was measured, fitted, and 
gave her order. Three dresses were purchased, 
which cost five thousand three hundred dollars; 
three capes for twelve thousand five hundred 
dollars; an Alaska seal motor coat, two thousand 
five hundred dollars; a baby lamb coat at nine 
thousand five hundred dollars; a chinchilla coat 
at thirty-five thousand dollars; a sable coat, 
seventy-five thousand dollars,— making a total 
of one hundred and twenty-two thousand dollars 
for fur coats. Added to these were a scarf and 
muff of crown sable at thirty-one thousand five 
hundred dollars. In the bill was eleven hundred 
dollars for perfumes, and eighteen hats (price 
not quoted), making a total of nearly two hun¬ 
dred thousand dollars spent for clothes by one 
woman in one day. 

That very day, poor wretches were searching 
garbage cans for a morsel of food in European 
cities. Millions in Asia were eating leaves, 
thistles, and grass roots. Thousands were dying 
of starvation. Children were perishing in icy 
Poland for lack of clothing enough to keep them 
from freezing. What can be said of the selfish¬ 
ness of this wanton spending when such condi¬ 
tions exist? 

To be economical we need not be stingy. We 
may save to give. There cannot be liberality 


THE REAL HOME 


382 

without economy. Expending to benefit others, 
or saving that we may meet a need, is true 
thrift. Money, food, and clothing are not given 
us to be wasted or hoarded. 

One expensive article bought demands others. 
Diamonds for which twelve and fifteen thousand 
dollars are asked are frequently sold; automo¬ 
biles for which seventeen thousand dollars must 
be paid are popular. 

Where the money comes from to meet such 
expensive buying would be a wonderful reve¬ 
lation. 

RESULTS OF PRODIGAL SPENDING 

Many a man has lost both money and char¬ 
acter because of the demands made upon him by 
the woman he calls wife, who flits and flutters 
and flirts, and thinks only of her own foolish 
wishes and fancies. She married for dollars 
instead of the man, her object in getting married 
being to find some one who would furnish capital 
for her to spend. 

Benedict Arnold, it is said, became a traitor 
because his wife worshiped dress. Many men 
struggle to keep up appearances, to satisfy the 
demands made upon their income by wife and 
children, till they yield to temptation and fall. 
Wives become the murderers of their husbands. 
Their pride and selfishness pierce the heart like 
a dagger. Many a fancy article of dress is 
stained with blood. Pride ruins. It is the god 
to which millions bow, both rich and poor. 


THRIFT AND ECONOMY 383 

How can a man meet such a situation ? Steal % 
He is filled with horror to think of it, but there 
seems to him sometimes no other way. He may 
decide to borrow. Then comes bankruptcy. If 
he tries doing without luxuries, he meets repin¬ 
ing and reproaches, tears and bitter words. 
Heart and courage fail, and he becomes des¬ 
perate. 

RESPONSIBILITY OF THE WIFE 

A story contributed to the San Francisco Ex¬ 
aminer, before the great war, is worth careful 
study. It is of a man who was made a thief by 
evil associations. 

She sat before me the other day — the wife of the Thief. 
She had come to ask mercy for her husband, who had been 
caught stealing. 

She was young and she was pretty, and her black eyes 
shone from under a hat of late design, and she wore a coat 
of fine cloth, and the shoes on her small feet were good, and 
the gloves on her little hands were not cheap. 

“You see,” said the wife of the Thief, “it’s this way: I 
was away, and he got lonesome, and wanted me to come 
home; and he was out of work, and he got into bad company, 
and he is not strong-minded, and they made him think it 
was all right. And that’s how he got into trouble — bad 
company — that’s the whole thing. I hope you won’t prose¬ 
cute him.” 

“What was your husband’s business ?” said I to the wife 
of the Thief. 

“Bookkeeper.” 

“What does he get a month?” 

“Fifty dollars,” said the Thief’s wife. 

“You make your own clothes?” 

The Thief’s wife swept her modish dress with the tail of 
her dark eye and laughed a little, like a mischievous child. 

“Who? Me?” she said. “I can’t sew.” 

‘You do your own washing then?” 


384 


THE REAL HOME 


The Thief’s wife looked down at her little white, useless 
hands. She looked as if she didn’t know whether to laugh 
or frown. She chose to laugh. 

“Why, no,” she said. “I never did that kind of work.” 

“How do you get on with the cooking? You do that, 
of course.” 

The Thief’s wife smiled this time; and what a dimple 
she had, to be sure! 

“That ain’t so hard,” she said. “There’s a delicatessen 
store, and I get everything, or almost everything, from there. 
I don’t know how to cook.” 

Fifty dollars a month the Thief made, and his wife does 
not cook, can’t sew, would not wash for anything, and she 
says he is in trouble because he got into bad company. I 
didn’t say a word to the Thief’s wife about the company. 

I went in to see the Thief. He was locked up — as a thief 
should be. He sat on the edge of his cot, and he looked as 
if he had been crying, and he told me about the trouble. 

“I lost my job,” said the Thief, “and my wife went home 
on a visit. I had to give up the flat, and I couldn't pay my 
room rent, and I owed the laundry people, and the delica¬ 
tessen man was after me, and I went into this flat you’ve 
heard about, and took what I could see.” 

“How did you lose your job?” 

“I don’t know,” said the Thief. “They just let me out, 
that’s all.” 

“Do you know who took your place ?” 

“Yes. A fellow that lives in the same house where our 
flat was.” 

The new bookkeeper’s wife wasn’t at all like the Thief’s 
wife. I went to see her and found out. She isn’t as good- 
looking as the Thief’s wife, but she is sweet-faced and rosy, 
and her eyes are bright and true and loving, her hair is 
pretty, and her neat little house dress was well made and 
hung right. 

She made it herself, she told me; makes all her own 
clothes — oh, yes, indeed! She could not afford to hire 
them made. 

Her hats, too, she trims; and the laundry — well, the 
collars, she sends them, but the rest she does herself. 


THRIFT AND ECONOMY 


385 


The delicatessen shop — is there one near by? She 
didn’t know. She does all her own cooking. It is cheaper 
so, and better, and her husband does not like ready-cooked 
things. 

I went to see the man who pays the bookkeeper’s salary. 

“Yes, w r e let him out,” said he. “No, nothing definite 
against him, you might say; but he and his wife were pic¬ 
ture-show fiends — went every night; and once I saw them 
there, and the wife was dressed better than my wife. I 
can’t see where he got the money for that hat. He handled 



25 









386 


THE BEAL HOME 


money for me sometimes, and I didn’t think it was fair to 
put him under such a strain, so I got a different sort of man.” 

“A different sort of man?” 

“Well, no, not exactly. I mean a man with a different 
sort of wife. It amounts to the same thing; don’t you 
think so?” 

Bad company — that’s what got the poor, weak-cliinned 
Thief into trouble. There’s no doubt about that. The worst 
kind of company. A silly, vain, selfish, lazy, wasteful wife. 
The foolish girl who marries a poor man and then will not 
wash, will not iron, will not cook, and will not sew! Bad 
company indeed ! Poor, silly Thief! Bad company, indeed! 

He is out of jail now, is the Thief. We asked the judge 
to be lenient with him, as it was a first offense. 

I wonder if it will be his last.— Annie Laurie. 

And lie was not the only man made a thief 
because of the lack of thrift and economy. 

THE PASSING OF SIMPLICITY 

The change from the simple life of the past 
to the complicated existence of modern times is 
astonishing. Our pleasures are costly. Com¬ 
mon men now live like princes of former days. 

Pleasures have increased while real joy has 
declined. There are plenty of things,— expen¬ 
sive things, too; but when they are possessed, 
they soon grow old and must be replaced by 
newer and more costly articles. 

One hundred years ago the wife of Dr: Ly¬ 
man Beecher had the first carpet made in the 
village where they lived. After it had been 
tacked to the floor, a deacon called to visit Dr. 
Beecher. 

“Walk in, deacon, walk 111 ,” Mr. Beecher 
called out cheerily. 



THRIFT AND ECONOMY 


387 

“Why, I can’t help stepping on it,” was the 
response after surveying the new carpet. Then 
he-asked, 

“Do you think you can have all that, and 
heaven too?” 

But now, whether heaven is attained or not, 
the extravagant and senseless furnishing and 
spending goes on. Things — more and more 
things — are in the saddle. Life is spent in 
acquiring and caring for possessions, which add 
nothing to the comfort and pleasure of life. 

True, simplicity is advocated, but it is an 
expensive simplicity that does not lessen ex¬ 
pense. We must have “dull mahogany,” “soft- 
toned pictures,” “rich rugs,” “expensive porch 
furniture, ” “ lovely lines in living rooms, ” “ dis¬ 
tinction in dining rooms,” “delicate draperies,” 
“personality in bedrooms.” Such simplicity 
spells elegance, and an added drain on the 
family resources. 

When mother went away to school, if she had 
one best dress for Sabbath, two for week days 
according to season, with one or two of thin ma¬ 
terial for warm weather, she was thought to be 
well supplied. The material for her clothes was 
selected not for its sheen, its daintiness, or 
transparency. But daughter must have recep¬ 
tion gowns, evening dresses, and sport suits, be¬ 
sides many others for coimnon wear, all selected 
with reference to style instead of service. 

When graduation year arrives, the dresses to 
be worn are studied and discussed for months 



388 


THE REAL HOME 


before the final day. Then comes the purchase 
and making; and one might suppose the girl 
was to be presented at a royal court. Class 
entertainments and functions of all sorts call 
for clothes and still more clothes, causing per¬ 
plexity and great expense to father and mother. 
Almost any occasion demands new dresses, new 
accessories; and thus children and young people 
form habits of useless and extravagant spending, 
which are still continued when they have homes 
of their own. Few indeed are those who have 
the wisdom or the courage to mark out a method 
of spending for themselves without regard to 
the decrees of custom or fashion. 

WHY ECONOMIZE? 

“Very few men know how to use money prop¬ 
erly/’ says Orison Swett Harden. “They can 
earn it, lavish it, hoard it, waste it; but to deal 
with it wisely as a means to an end, is an educa¬ 
tion difficult of acquirement.” 

One wealthy man wrote this sage advice: 

“True economy consists in always making the income 
exceed the outgo. Wear the old clothes a little longer if 
necessary; dispense with the new pair of gloves; mend the 
old dress; live on plainer food, if need be; so that, under 
all circumstances, unless some unforeseen accident occurs, 
there will be a margin in favor of the income. A penny here, 
and a dollar there, placed on interest, go on accumulating, 
and in this way the desired result is obtained. It requires 
some training, perhaps, to accomplish this economy; but 
when once used to it, you will find there is more satisfaction 
in rational saving than in irrational spending.” 


THRIFT AND ECONOMY 389 

But money is given to be used. He who 
economizes to hoard becomes miserly. Many 
men of wealth are liberal givers. 

“I will give twenty-five dollars to the city 
mission, ’ ’ said a man to a minister whom he met 
on the street. The minister wondered why one 
who was known to be very saving should be so 
liberal. 

“Wait a minute,” called back the giver. “I 
have the twenty-five dollars with me, and I will 
give it now instead of sending it. It will save 
a postage stamp.” 

He had learned that to save even the cost of 
a stamp enabled him to give liberally. 

In the household and in business, little sav¬ 
ings amount to more than one would suppose. 
One housekeeper throws dry bread, cold pota¬ 
toes, and other left-overs into the garbage can. 
The prudent wife never wastes a morsel of food. 
The remnants are combined into palatable dishes, 
and home expenses are reduced by such small 
economies. Garments are mended before they 
are past mending. Lights are not left burning 
when not needed. Fires are regulated so fuel is 
not wasted. Tools and utensils are cared for 
and kept in order. Help is not employed that 
can be dispensed with. 

“Be it ever so humble,” is a sentiment that 
does not appeal to the modern home. Indi¬ 
viduals and nations would be better if they 
would love the home more and its furnishings 
less. There would be more happy homes if there 
were more thrift and economy. 


Chapter Twenty-Four 


HOSPITALITY 


There are hermit souls that live withdrawn 
In the place of their self-content; 

There are souls like stars, that dwell apart, 

In a fellowless firmament; 

There are pioneer souls that blaze their paths 
Where the highways never ran ; 

But let me live by the side of the road, 

And be a friend to man. 

Let me live in a house by the side of the road, 

Where the race of men go by; 

They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong, 
Wise, foolish, and so am I. 

Then why should I sit in the scorner’s seat, 

Or hurl the cynic’s ban ? 

Let me live in a house by the side of the road, 

And be a friend to man. 


— Sam Walter Foss. 



PATRIARCH was sitting in the door of 


ll his tent one hot summer day. As his eye 
scanned the landscape, he saw three men ap¬ 
proaching. He knew them to be strangers, hut 
his kind heart prompted him to urge them to 
receive entertainment. His invitation, so hearty, 
so hospitable, was accepted. 

These visitors, though not relatives nor ac¬ 
quaintances, were treated to the best the home 
afforded. The host himself made provision for 
their needs. He was so interested, so enthusi¬ 
astic, that he even ran as he waited upon them. 
He bade his wife hasten. He himself served the 


( 390 ) 


HOSPITALITY 


391 

food. No labor or inconvenience was thought 
too great to lavish upon these stranger guests. 

The old man was Abraham. His visitors were 
angels and the Lord Himself. His act of hospi¬ 
tality is recorded as an example; and the apostle 
writes, “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: 
for thereby some have entertained angels un¬ 
awares. ’ ’ 

But some who seek entertainment are not 
angels. A man who claimed the hospitality of 
a woman, repeated the exhortation quoted above, 
and said to her that if she did not receive him 
as her guest, she might turn away an angel from 
her door. 

“No danger whatever in this instance,” re¬ 
plied the woman. “If you were an angel, you 
would not appear at my house smoking a 
pipe, as you are now doing. Angels do not use 
tobacco.” 

Hospitality consists in enjoying with others 
that which we call our own. True hospitality 
welcomes one from the outside to the home 
circle. Guests are treated with kindness and 
generosity. The host expects no reward for his 
effort and consideration, but receives his guests 
with a joyful heart, and for the sake of the 
good he can impart. 

The appreciative guest will bring pleasure to 
the home, and will carry with him the cheer and 
warmth found there. Thus there will be mutual 
giving and receiving. 



THE BEAL HOME 


392 

To sit together, break bread together,— our 
own bread,— then sit before the fire,— our own 
fire,— and tell what has befallen us on our pil- 
grimage, and speculate on what is yet to befall 
— that, whether in an Indian wigwam or a 
lordly castle, is the soul of hospitality. 

Its real essence is for one outside the home 
circle to be welcomed within it. For the time 
being, all are members of one family. They eat 
together, talk together; and the purpose of hos¬ 
pitality is to form and maintain friendship. 

But times and customs have changed. Our 
home life and our manner of receiving guests 
are different. Now one “ entertains ’ ’ at a club, 
at a hotel, or a restaurant. There are plays, 
music, games; but such entertainment is a free 
show, not true hospitality. We are hospitable 
when we share with others bread for the body 
and food for the mind. 

One writer says: 

“By hospitality I mean the outflow of heart and over¬ 
flow of spirit which moves you to give a feast to the poor, 
to search out and hearten up the victims of a ‘hall room’ 
desolation, to throw your doors wide open to the waifs in the 
street. A home is not a home unless it shelters the homeless.” 

Those who entertain in these modern times 
are much concerned about eating. Those who 
invite guests are puzzled to know how to provide 
dainty, sumptuous, and expensive refreshments; 
and those who are invited feel it is necessary, if 
possible, to furnish in turn something still more 
novel and extravagant. Thus all vie in wanton 




HOSPITALITY 


393 

waste, which is injurious to health, and adds 
nothing to happiness. There are jealousies, 
strife, and envyings, instead of the friendship, 
communion, and fellowship which accompany 
true hospitality. People are apt to confine their 
invitations to personal friends, and their own 
“set”; and those who most need help and com¬ 
fort are not taken into account. 

“Do you know, sweetheart,” said a fond hus¬ 
band to his wife, “of all the holiday entertain¬ 
ments we have ever given, that one when we 
invited the teachers near us who were far from 
their own homes, and dear old Miss Mason, who 
never had husband or children, and we had our 
Thanksgiving dinner together,— that was the 
very happiest party we ever had? 

“Do you remember,” he continued, “how 
pleased Miss Mason was, and that the next day, 
she came to thank us again, to tell what a pleas¬ 
ant day she had spent, and then she gave you 
a beautiful handkerchief as a memento of the oc¬ 
casion ? Poor old lady! She had enough for her 
support, but her heart was hungry for friends — 
to feel that she was wanted and welcome some¬ 
where. I am glad we gave her that pleasant day 
before she went to her long rest. 

“And the teachers, too — how much they en¬ 
joyed helping you get the dinner! That was a 
Thanksgiving to be remembered, dear. Do you 
suppose there are any people in this community 
whom we could invite to visit at our home, and 
thus help them?” 





394 


THE REAL HOME 


OUR OPPORTUNITIES 

Our time here is short. We can pass through this world 
but once; as we pass along, let us make the most of life. The 
work to which we are called does not require wealth or social 
position or great ability. It requires a kindly, self-sacrificing 
spirit and a steadfast purpose. A lamp, however small, if 
kept steadily burning, may be the means of lighting many 
other lamps. Our sphere of influence may seem narrow, 
our ability small, our opportunities few, our acquirements 
limited; yet wonderful possibilities are ours through the 
faithful use of the opportunities of our own homes. If we 
will open our hearts and homes' to the divine principles of 
life, we shall become channels for currents of life-giving 
power. From our homes will flow streams of healing, bring¬ 
ing life, and beauty, and fruitfulness where now are barren¬ 
ness and death .—“Ministry of Healing,” page 355. 

ALONE 

Over the city, the sun hangs low. 

People are hurrying to and fro, 

Cars are crowded, and autos race 

To thread where a guardsman assigns a place. 

All is astir; but whither I, 

Who have not a nest where I may fly ? 

Out where the street bares its heart of stone, 

Lost in a crowd — bereft, alone! 

Lost in a crowd! Though my purse is fair, 

And signboards are beckoning here and there, 
Listless I scan every passing face, 

But never a thought of the wanderer trace. 

Lost in a crowd, as I aimless roam, 

Earth’s treasures nothing, without a home! 

— Joy Hope. 

A woman who lived in a city said: 

“We’ve been having a regular epidemic of luncheons, 
teas, and dinners lately. Really there’s very little satisfac¬ 
tion in such functions unless one thinks primarily of what 


HOSPITALITY 


395 


one gets to eat. I’ve made up my mind to do what enter¬ 
taining I do, in a different way. I’m going to invite my 
friends in twos and threes, and give them a taste of our 
home life; I’m tired of seeing people on parade.” 

There are members of churches and societies 
who might look after the entertainment of the 
strangers within our gates, and invite them to 
lunch after the morning service or on other oc¬ 
casions. There are genial people who could take 
it upon themselves to help young men and women 
who are lonely and beset with temptations and 
dangers. There are hosts of evil agencies that 
provide pleasure and companionship for young 
men and women, and who extend the “glad 
hand” as the first step in enticing to evil. Why 
should not good men and women — those who see 
the danger, those who have both ability and 
courage — meet these young people and invite 
them to their homes, where they would find rest, 
comfort, and shelter? 

Some will find themselves condemned by the 
great Judge, in the final day, by the words, “I 
was an hungered, and ye gave Me no meat: I 
was thirsty, and ye gave Me no drink: I was a 
stranger, and ye took Me not in: naked, and ye 
clothed Me not: sick, and in prison, and ye vis¬ 
ited Me not.” Matthew 25: 42, 43. 

“Oh, little place where friends will come 
The tangled world to flee! 

Brave little nook where peace will bide, 

And hospitality!” 



396 


THE REAL HOME 


THE UNEXPECTED GUEST 

Often when the hostess is least prepared, visi¬ 
tors arrive unannounced, and perhaps uninvited. 
What shall she do ? 

Six men who were friends agreed to take turns in invit¬ 
ing one another home to lunch, without saying anything to 
their wives about it beforehand. This is what happened: 
Mr. A was obliged to sit in a cold parlor with his friend 
while the tablecloth was being changed. Mr. B had to excuse 
himself and make several trips to the grocery store before 
the meal was served. Mrs. C insisted on changing her own 
gown and the clothes of two children before luncheon was 
announced. Mr. D and his guest were kept waiting so long 
while additions were made to the menu, that they had time 
only to snatch a bite and run for their car. 

Mrs. F was the only woman of the six who really rose to 
the occasion. When her husband opened the front door, she 
was found mounted on a stepladder, dusting a cornice. She 
had a sweeping cap on her head and a smudge on her face. 
But she actually smiled a radiant smile as she came down 
from her perch, saying, “How lovely !” when her husband 
explained that he had brought his friend home to luncheon. 
“Come right into the dining room/’ she said; “I'm afraid 
the parlor is not very warm.” In a minute or two, she 
emerged from the kitchen with a clean face and a clean 
apron; and in an astonishingly short time, she had an ap¬ 
petizing meal on the table. 

“It is hardly fair to the rest of you,” her husband said 
to his friends afterward. “Maggie makes a kind of specialty 
of entertaining unexpected guests; in fact, most of our en¬ 
tertaining is done in just this way. I telephone from the 
office, Tm bringing Jones up to dinner/ and she telephones 
to Mrs. Jones to come too. We can’t afford to give elaborate 
company dinners, and people don’t expect them when they 
are invited in this informal way. Maggie always keeps an 
emergency shelf in the pantry and some fresh fruit in sea¬ 
son. She says it’s no trouble at all to make a few additions 
to the usual bill of fare when one does this .”—“Home and 
School.” 


HOSPITALITY 


397 

It is often not a lack of kindness of heart, hut 
the hostess is puzzled to know how to entertain 
guests as she desires, and this causes her to 
dread unexpected arrivals. But the wise woman 
will provide the “emergency shelf,’* furnished 
with that which may be quickly prepared, and 
thus assure a meal satisfactory to both herself 
and her friends. 

But it is not the elaborate provision that com¬ 
forts and heartens the visitor. That can be 
found at a hotel or an eating house. It is the 
home spirit, the welcome that cheers and makes 
guests, feel that their coming gives pleasure. 
Bean Swift once said: “A fig for your bill of 
fare! Show me the bill of your company.” 

A woman received a distinguished man at 
dinner in her home. She worked hard to provide 
what she thought would be a suitable meal, so 
had little time to converse with the guest, but 
left his entertainment to her husband. As the 
man was leaving after being invited to return at 
some future time, he said to the hostess, “When 
I come again, give me less dinner and more of 
your company.” The kindly reproof was taken 
to heart, and practiced in later years. 

But now the tendency is to omit the “guest 
room,” and it is understood that overnight visi¬ 
tors are not expected or desired. This results 
in sharing our homes less and less with others, 
and the loss of blessings we might otherwise 
receive. 


398 


THE REAL HOME 


Ships that are passing mid billows and spray, 

Greeting we give as they bear on their way, 

Speaking in passing,— like touch of the hand,— 

Bidding Godspeed to a far-away land. 

Friendships are fleeting, the best we may boast, 

Only a meeting, a moment at most; 

Earth offers little,— to last but a day,— 

Speeding ships, passing, and sailing away. 

Still do we cherish these friends of a day, 

Slight though the knowledge, and brief though the stay,— 
Brief as the stay of the mid-ocean ships,— 

Short though the greeting of little-known lips. 

Handclasp of fellowship, welcoming word, 

Common the impulse by warm feelings stirred, 

Smiles through the teardrops, a laugh with a sigh, 

Happy the greeting — God bless you — Good-by. 

— Max Hill. 


MUTUAL OBLIGATIONS 

But not all the responsibility rests upon those 
who entertain. The guest should take care not 
to overstay his welcome. His presence may 
bring real inconvenience, and sometimes the at¬ 
mosphere of the home becomes tense and per¬ 
plexing on this account. The visitor, as well as 
the host, lias obligations. 

If a hostess invites guests, it is very proper 
to indicate in the invitation the time and length 
of the anticipated visit. She might write: “I 
want you to come and visit us a week this sum¬ 
mer. The first of August would be a convenient 
time for me. If this is not the best for you, tell 
me when you can come, and we will try to ar¬ 
range a time that will be agreeable to both of us.” 


HOSPITALITY 


399 

When one is guest in any home, it should be 
a pleasure to do all possible to assist in the 
household tasks, and thus lighten the labors of 
the hostess. Guests may entertain the younger 
members of the family, and in unobtrusive ways 
enter into the family life. 

Margaret Sangster tells her experience with 
a guest who visited the home of her childhood: 

“Through all the years between the flaxen and the silver 
hair, I recall most gratefully the presence of a fair young 
woman who once spent a week at my father’s house, when I 
was a wee lassie, conning my Webster’s spelling book. Her 
pretty gowns, her merry laugh, and her sweet notice of my 
small self are with me still. She was to wade through seas 
of trouble, poor lady! But she did not dream of that then; 
and in her queenly beauty, she was not too radiant, nor too 
happy, to add sweetness to the cup of a small person who 
was blissful in touching her garment’s hem.” 



( 400 ) 


One of the best remedies for sorrow is to find others who are afflicted, and try to “comfort them which 
in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” 








Chapter Twenty-Five 


THE HOME IN SORROW 

There is no flock, however watched and tended, 

But one dead lamb is there; 

There is no fireside, howsoe’er defended, 

But has one vacant chair. 

— Longfellow. 

I N every public assembly, we see the black 
badge of mourning. Watch the people on 
the thoroughfares of travel, and how true the 
saying that “the mourners go about the streets.” 
The countenances of those we meet express a 
sadness they cannot hide. “Even in laughter 
the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth 
is heaviness.” 

There are many who bear heart-breaking 
grief, yet hoist no signal of distress. Crape is 
not worn for loss of character, for secret heart¬ 
aches, for bitter disappointment, or because 
friends betray our trust. 

We sometimes bestow our deepest sympathy 
on those who suffer least. There are sorrows 
worse than death, sorrows that are a blacker 
black than any covered by the coffin lid. The 
parents who mourn over son or daughter who 
has brought them disgrace and sadness would 
sometimes esteem their burden light had the 
child lived a pure, holy life and then been laid 
to rest beneath the lilies of the valley. In their 
sorrow is found no peace, no comfort. 


26 


( 401 ) 


THE REAL HOME 


402 

The wife who has been forsaken and betrayed 
by him who promised to love and cherish till 
death, almost envies the widow clad in sable who 
mourns the husband ever loyal and true. Ah, a 
living sorrow is far harder to bear than a dead 
one! We may cover close the sting, the disgrace, 
of our grief, that none may see. Those be¬ 
reaved by death receive help, sympathy, and love 
which are denied to those suffering a sorer need. 

Then there are other troubles that bring the 
blinding tears, the groan of despair. Affliction 
sometimes comes in the form of lingering illness, 
of financial losses, of disappointed hopes and 
ambitions. There are days of watching, delay, 
and painful waiting, and nights when sleepless 
eyes stare out into the blackness, times when 
there seems no hope, no respite, no comforter. 
Yes, “there is sorrow on the sea; it cannot be 
quiet”; and likewise on the earth ‘ 4 behold 
trouble and darkness, dimness of anguish,” and 
sadness reigns supreme. Many are ready to ex¬ 
claim, “ Is it nothing to you, all ye that pass by ? 
behold, and see if there be any sorrow like unto 
my sorrow.” The wail of agony reaches to 
heaven. At some time, in some form, intense 
grief pierces every soul. 

Seeing the sadness and the troubles we must 
bear, Jesus our Saviour laid aside His kingly 
crown, His royal robe, and came to our earth 
to suffer with us. 

, One day, He sat on a mountain side. The 
people had assembled in crowds to hear His gra- 


THE HOME IN SORROW 


403 

cious words. He said, “Blessed are they that 
mourn: for they shall be comforted.” A poor 
mother with reddened eyes, who was mourning 
over her lost child, said to herself, 44 That means 
me; I am a mourner.” The forsaken wife, 
cringing on the outskirts of the crowd, mur¬ 
mured, 4 4 He said that for me, for my heart is 
broken.” A guilty man whispered, 44 That is for 
me; I am mourning over my wicked life.” All 
found comfort in the message. 

At the grave of Lazarus, 44 Jesus wept”—not 
for the sisters who mourned the loss of their 
brother, for he would soon live again; but He 
wept for all the mourners who would live, to the 
end of time. He wept for you, for me. He wept 
for every one that 4 4 shall know his own sore and 
his own grief,” the grief he cannot share with 
even his best friend; and He styles Himself 44 the 
'God of all comfort.” Christ’s mission was to 
44 comfort all that mourn; ... to give unto them 
beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the 
garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.” 

Many have experienced this comfort when 
the dark shadow of grief has fallen upon their 
hearts and homes. They have been able to re¬ 
joice even in affliction and suffering. 

It is sweet to know, 

When we are tired, and when the hand of pain 
Lies on our hearts, and when we look in vain 
For human comfort, that the Heart Divine 
Still understands these cares of yours and mine. 



404 


THE HEAL HOME 


There is no sorrow that He will not share, 

No cross, no burden, for our hearts to bear 
Without His help, no care of ours too small 
To cast on Jesus; let us tell Him all — 

Lay at His feet the story of our woes, 

And in His sympathy find sweet repose. 

— Author Unknown. 

The Christian religion is the only one that 
sympathizes with sorrow and brings comfort to 
the mourner. And in this fact lies evidence 
of its heavenly origin, its sufficiency for every 
human need. It brightens the tomb, and points 
to the Father above, who 44 shall wipe away all 
tears/’ who promises a 44 new heaven,” and a 
44 new earth,” where 44 there shall be no more 
death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall 
there be any more pain: for the former things 
are passed away.” 

FELLOWSHIP IN SUFFERING 

We are never able to sympathize deeply with 
others in their griefs till the sword has pierced 
our own soul. One who enjoys perfect health 
cannot know the suffering of the one who experi¬ 
ences long days and dreary nights of bodily 
distress. The rich know not the worth of gold, 
or the keen distress of the poor, till they lose 
their possessions and are left helpless and desti¬ 
tute. Those blessed with friends have no under¬ 
standing of the sadness and desolation of those 
who are friendless and alone. 

We attend funerals and look upon the faces 
of the dead, but we have no acquaintance with 


THE HOME IN SORROW 


405 


death till we battle day after day and night after 
night for the life more precious than our own. 
We never know the meaning of a funeral till we 
hear the crunch of the wheels of the hearse on 
the gravel before our own door. 

But when sorrow grips the heart and writes 
its story on the brow, when the hair whitens and 
the heart fails — it is in that trying hour that 
the divine Comforter is closest and most pre¬ 
cious ; and like the skillful surgeon, He binds up 
our wounds and applies His healing balm. 

Sometimes we lose the blessings that sorrow 
brings, by questioning and rebelling against the 
circumstances in which we are placed. Better 
- is it to say, 4 6 The Lord gave, and the Lord hath 
taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” 
Our doubtings and repinings only add to our 
sorrow. The time of affliction and bereavement 
is the time to walk by faith and not by sight, to 
trust where we cannot see. 

Never is God’s goodness questioned when He 
sends joy and blessings for which we pray. We 
trust and love Him then. Why not trust Him 
in the darkness and gloom the same as in the 
light and joy? He “changeth not,” and His 
love for us is strongest when we need Him most. 

“what does it mean?” 

It does not matter what it means, poor heart! 

The dear Lord knows; to bear it is your part, 

Nor think some strange thing happens unto you, 
Which He would not allow so if He knew. 

He does know. In His all-wise fatherhood, 

He knows it, and allows it for your good. 



406 


THE BEAL HOME 


He is not hard; you do not think He is, 

When, in the dark, you find your hand in His. 

When it was light, you tried to walk alone, 

And thought the strength He gave you all your own. 
You did not question what the blessing meant, 

Just smiled and took it, satisfied, content. 

— Anna J. Granniss. 

A young man found he was losing his sight. 
Life was very bright before him till this afflic¬ 
tion came. He was expecting to marry a young 
woman whom he loved devotedly. 

Feeling that perhaps if she knew he was to 
be blind she might wish to be released from her 
engagement, he wrote offering to end their 
relationship if she desired it. He was greatly 
surprised and pained when she replied that she 
thought it better for them to live apart, and the 
poet-preacher passed through a veritable Getli- 
semane of sorrow. 

But though in his distress he was ready to 
exclaim, “All Thy waves and Thy billows are 
gone over me,” yet in time his feet found the 
Bock of Ages, he came into a fellowship with 
his Saviour he could not otherwise have known. 
To the “Man of sorrows,” Him who was 
“acquainted with grief,” he poured out his 
complaint. In his travail of soul, he wrote: 

“0 Love that will not let me go, 

I rest my weary soul in Thee; 

I give Thee back the life I owe, 

That in Thine ocean depths its flow 
May richer, fuller be.” 


THE HOME IN SORROW 


407 

That consecration brought comfort, and then 
he could offer this prayer of resignation in the 
face of overwhelming disappointment and im¬ 
pending blindness: 

“0 Light that followest all my way, 

I yield my flickering torch to Thee; 

My heart restores its borrowed ray, 

That in Thy sunshine’s glow its day 
May brighter, fairer be.” 

And he could even rejoice in tribulation, for 
he sang: 

“0 Joy that seekest me through pain, 

I cannot close my heart to Thee; 

I trace the rainbow in the rain, 

And feel the promise is not vain, 

That morn shall tearless be.” 

Finally, with still clearer vision, knowing that 
victory was his own, George Matheson concluded 
his immortal hymn, that has comforted and in¬ 
spired thousands of hearts, with these words of 
triumph: 

“0 Cross that liftest up my head, 

I dare not ask to hide from Thee; 

I lay in dust life’s glory dead, 

And from the ground there blossoms red, 

Life that shall endless be.” 

But what shall be said of the young woman 
who rejected the cross offered her, when she 
turned aside from such a love, and left that 
noble, kingly soul to suffer in sorrow and dark¬ 
ness alone? Hers was surely a self-seeking 
affection, and she was utterly unworthy of the 


THE BEAL HOME 


408 

love of the man she abandoned to his fate. Of 
true, unselfish love she knew nothing. His was 
the gain, hers the loss. 

Many of the loveliest songs of peace and hope which 
God’s children sing in this world they have been taught in 
the hushed and darkened chambers of sorrow. In like man¬ 
ner, many of the rarest beauties of character are touches 
given by the divine Spirit in the hours of affliction. . . . 

The photographer carries his picture back into a dark¬ 
ened room, that he may bring out its features. The light 
would mar his delicate work. God brings out in many a soul 
its loveliest beauties while the curtain is drawn and the light 
of day shut out. . . . 

Many a home is saved from wreck by a sorrow that comes 
and draws estranged hearts close together again. Many a 
cold, icy nature is made warm and tender by the grief that 
crushes it.— J. B. Miller, in “Week-Day Beligion,” pages 
90 , 91 . 


THE MISSION OF SORROW 

The sweetest music has its minor chords. 
Sorrow, if borne aright, brings with it a bless¬ 
ing and sweetens our lives. It makes us more 
sympathetic toward others, more kind and ten¬ 
der. It develops patience, humility, and the 
better qualities of the heart. Fiery trials lessen 
our hold on earthly objects, and cause us to look 
beyond the earthly realm to a better world. 

Some of our saddest experiences come sud¬ 
denly and give no premonition of their approach. 
Yesterday our hopes were high; to-day our 
hearts are crushed. The earth seems dim with 
anguish. Our calamity seems so cruel, so unex¬ 
plainable! We are ready with the question, 
u Whv is all this befallen us?” There seems 


THE HOME IN SORROW 409 

to be no light even in the heavens. To ns, no 
sorrow can be compared with ours. Other hus¬ 
bands and wives are happy in each other’s 
companionship; ours are sleeping in death. We 
hear a childish laugh in the street; our child 
will never smile again. Others are not tearful, 
anxious, or bereft. We were as happy as they 
yesterday; now everything is shrouded in gloom. 

Why, oh, why does the God we have loved and 

* 

served permit us to be so afflicted? 

When overtaken by trouble or bereavement, 
there is a better way than to clothe our souls in 
gloom, to shut ourselves away from those who 
need us, and yield to complaining and rebellion. 
There are still others for whom we should live, 
a work we still have to do. By our patience, we 
may tell others that we are sustained, cheered, 
strengthened; and their courage will be renewed 
by our example. This will be better than to 
become a heavy burden to the friends left us, or 
to indulge in doubt and stormy grief. 

“Arise and all thy tasks fulfill, 

And as thy day, thy strength shall be; 

Were there no power beyond the ill, 

The ill would not have come to thee. 

“Though cloud and storm encompass thee, 

Be not afflicted nor afraid; 

Thou knowest the shadow could not be 
Were there no sun beyond the shade.” 

To shut one’s self up to grief and lamentation 
and woe, to burrow in the darkness like a mole, 


TEE REAL HOME 


410 

does not honor the dead. Grief may be very 
selfish, and is one of the most difficult forms of 
selfishness to overcome. 

Alas for him who never sees 

The stars shine through his cypress trees! 

Who, hopeless, lays his dead away, 

Nor looks to see the breaking day 
Across the mournful marbles play! 

Who hath not learned in hours of faith, 

The truth to flesh and sense unknown, 

That life is ever lord of death, 

And love can never lose its own! 

— Whittier. 

0 

One of the best remedies for sorrow is to find 
others who are afflicted, and try to 4 i comfort 
them which are in any trouble, by the comfort 
wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. ’ ’ 
We shall find them everywhere,— those who bear 
heavier burdens than our own. Our courage, 
hope, and faith may give them strength. 

“Why should we grieve that for a little while 
Our loved are gathered from our arms away, 

And laid to rest beneath the flowers’ bloom, 

To wait the dawning of a brighter day ? 

We cannot miss them long; the darkest night 
Is but a little while — and then the light!” 

With all the promises we have, with the evi¬ 
dences all about us that God still loves us as His 
own, we must seek to live for those yet with us, 
that when the great roll call comes, not one name 
among our loved ones shall be missing. 

Our comfort must be that the time will come 
when we, with those we love, “ shall be caught up 


TEE HOME IN SORROW 


411 


together with them in the clouds, to meet the 
Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the 
Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with 
these words.” 

Drop the warm tear — for Jesus wept; 

Sorrow shall find relief in tears. 

But let no secret grief be kept 

To waste the soul through nameless years. 

They rest in hope; their hallowed dust 
Is watched, and from the grave shall rise; 

Earth shall restore her sacred trust, 

Made all immortal for the skies. 


— J. Loton. 


Chapter Twenty-Six 


LENGTHENING SHADOWS 


How often have I watched the sunset glow 
Fall on some western windows, whilst the slow, 
Majestic beauty of the closing day 
Crept softly o’er the valley, till it lay 
More perfect than at noontide! So I hope 
When our life’s sun shall reach the western slope 
Of its horizon, that its rays may throw 
Across ripe fields but an intenser glow 
And deep’ning of the noon. 


— Grace Adele Pierce. 



N ordinary day represents human life in 


±\. miniature. The sunrising is an inspiration. 
All is robed in beauty. But as the hours go by, 
the sun scorches and withers the earth with its 
heat. By and by a storm cloud covers the sky. 
The lightning flashes. The thunder rolls. For 
a time, the sun is hidden. In the late afternoon, 
the shadows begin to lengthen. The day is clos¬ 
ing. The clouds roll back. There is a vision of 
beauty that brings heaven very near. No hour 
of the day lias been so filled with peace. The 
tasks are nearly done. The twilight falls. Night 
comes on. We soon fall asleep, and the weary 
day is over. 

At the dawn of life, all seems fresh as the 
morning. We laugh, we play, we sing. But 
soon the burden and heat of the day press upon 
us. Stern toil fills the busy hours. Our steps 
falter. The storms and troubles of the years 


( 412 ) 


LENGTHENING SHADOWS 


413 


compass us about. We long for rest and peace. 
The hair whitens. We begin to realize that we 
are growing old. The shadows of life’s after¬ 
noon fall about us. Then comes the sunset, the 
twilight turns to darkness, and we go to sleep. 

The things we reverence most are old things. 
The old mountains that seem to pierce the sky; 
the old rivers; the old ocean; the old stars that 
seem to be — 

“Forever singing, as they shine, 

‘The hand that made ns is divine” 

old cathedrals; the old Bible; old pictures; old 
monuments commemorating old events,— all are 
cherished and valued. 

But old age in persons is not considered de¬ 
sirable. We look forward with dread to the 
weakening of bodily and mental powers; for age 
brings death, and death is an enemy. “The last 
enemy that shall be destroyed is death.” We 
ward oft its approach as long as possible. 

It has been said, “No snow falls lighter than 
the snow of age; but none is heavier, for it 
never melts.” 

No, it never melts — never. The whitening 
hair never recovers the color of youth. Time 
keeps the snow falling — quietly, steadily fall¬ 
ing. The wheels turn steadily on and on, and 
they never turn back. We may sing,— 

“Backward, turn backward, 0 Time, in your flight; 

Make me a child again just for to-night;” 






414 


THE REAL HOME 


but we grow older while we sing, and the wheels 
cease not their onward revolution. 

“Our birthdays used to be so few, 

So long to next from last; 

But now, that we don’t want them to, 

They’re coming thick and fast.” 

But old age has its consolations, its delights. 
If the morning and noon of life have been wisely 
lived, age brings the quiet and rest of evening. 
Sunset is usually more beautiful than the sun¬ 
rising, “and thine age shall be clearer than the 
noonday. ” 

We need not speak disparagingly of the old. 
Age is beautiful, honorable, eloquent, worthy of 
love and reverence. ‘ 4 The hoary head is a crown 
of glory, if it be found in the way of right¬ 
eousness.” The lengthening shadows bring the 
afterglow of an unselfish, useful life. “At eve¬ 
ning time it shall be light,” 

Some are very sensitive over evidences of 
advancing years, and apply lotions and dyes to 
efface the marks of time. Others bravely sing,— 

“My face, I don’t mind it; 

You see I’m behind it; 

The people in front get the jar.” 

There is a beautifier that gives charm to the 
most deeply wrinkled face and makes the whit¬ 
ened hair glorious. But this remedy does not 
come in jars or bottles, nor is it applied to hair 
or skin. It is the character formed before age 
comes on, an interest in the pleasures and pur- 



LENGTHENING SHADOWS 415 

suits of others, a steady purpose to be useful and 
happy till the time of resting comes. 

We have all known such people. Their pres¬ 
ence was a joy, an inspiration. Their old age 
seems as exquisite as the bloom of youth. 

“I love old mothers — mothers with white hair, 

And kindly eyes, and lips grown softly sweet 
With murmured blessings over sleeping babes. 

Sweet mothers! As they pass, one sees again 
Old garden walks, old roses, and old loves.” 

In a photograph of an old lady," every feature 
seems to reflect goodness and grace. Why was 
her life so long? and why does she look so 
happy? This is why: 

“She knew how to forget disagreeable things. 

“She understood the art of enjoyment. 

“She kept her nerves well in hand, and inflicted them 
on no one. 

“She believed in the goodness of her own children and 
in that of her neighbors. 

“She cultivated a good digestion. 

“She mastered the art of saying pleasant things. 

“She did not expect too much from her friends. 

“She never forgot that kind words and a smile cost noth¬ 
ing, but are priceless treasures to the discouraged.” 

Another important point was that she refused 
to w r orry about anything she could or could not 
help. Thus she kept her poise, her self-control, 
and retained her charm to an astonishing age. 

As leaves are borne on the river’s breast, 

Floating along in a sweet unrest ; 

As clouds pass over the summer sky, 

And one by one drift dreamily by,— 


416 


THE HEAL HOME 


So have glided away, with their smiles and tears, 
Seventy changing, beautiful years. 

• • • • • 

Like pearls that sl’ip from a shining strand, 

But are caught and held by some careful hand 
That weaves them anew into braid and band, 

To gleam on the brow in some distant land, 

So our years from the thread of life must fall, 

But the hand of an angel gathers them all, 

And into a coronet, brightened by tears, 

He will bind the seventy beautiful years. 

— Selected. 

CAN WE LENGTHEN OUR LIVES? 

There is no guaranty to be relied on which 
will lengthen life. One may join a “ Hundred 
Year Club/’ but that does not insure his living 
a hundred years. 

Professor Hufeland savs: “If you would live 
long, live moderately, and avoid a stimulating, 
heating diet, such as a good deal of fish, flesh, 
eggs, chocolates, wines, and spices.” He might 
have added strong drink and tobacco to his list. 

Thomas Parr, it is said, died in his one hun¬ 
dred and fifty-third year. At death, his bodily 
organs were found in perfect condition. Prob¬ 
ably he might have lived much longer, but the 
king of England heard of him, and invited Parr 
to visit him. After a few days of living on 
dainties instead of on his ordinary frugal fare, 
Parr died. 

Because we are growing old, we should not 
therefore become inactive. Exercise should be 
taken moderately; but it is well to have some- 


LENGTHENING SHADOWS 


417 

tiling in which one is interested, to occupy both 
mind and body. Excessive work and athletic 
feats may lie left for those who are younger. 

Abundant sleep is required by elderly people. 
A short nap during the day is an excellent 
restorative. 

Small ailments are not to be worried over, yet 
they should not be neglected. A cough, continu¬ 
ous .pain in any organ, and other danger signals 
are to be heeded. If repairs are kept up, any 
machine will last longer. 

Growth of mind should never cease while we 
live. “ Mental locomotor ataxia should be re¬ 
sisted and overcome.” Paul, in his old age, 
wrote, “ Forgetting the things which are behind, 
and stretching forward to the things which are 
before, I press on toward the goal.” 

A writer of ability well says: 

“It is sad to see how many elderly and middle-aged 
women take it for granted that life holds nothing for them 
blit the passive role of grandmother. Many a woman has 
but little time for study while rearing a family; but when 
the children are married and gone to homes of their own, 
then comes the time when she needs some outside interest. 
If she has not something to take her out of herself, she will 
turn to gossip and fancywork to keep her busy. This is just 
the time to devote herself to some particular study. . . . The 
women who never grow old are the student women, those 
who daily drink in some new chyle through memorizing, 
thoroughly analyzing, and perfectly assimilating subjects 
apart from themselves. Study is development,— it is eter¬ 
nal youth. The student woman who makes wise use of her 
acquisitions, has no time to corrugate her brow with dread 
thoughts of the beauty destroyer leaping fast behind her. 
Not considered or invited, Old Age keeps his distance. 


27 


418 


THE REAL HOME 


“Orison Swett Harden declares: "If you do not want the 
years to count, look forward instead of backward, and put 
as many interests into your life as possible. Monotony and 
lack of mental occupation are great age producers. . . . The 
greatest conqueror of age is a cheerful, hopeful, loving 
spirit/ ” 

“ "It is too late!’ Ah, nothing is too late 
Till the tired heart shall cease to palpitate. 

Cato learned Greek at eighty; Sophocles 
Wrote his grand CEdipus, and Simonides 
Bore off the prize of verse from his compeers, 

When each had numbered more than fourscore years.” 

VALUE OF PHYSICAL LABOR 

Many men who have prospered in business 
retire from active life to 4 ‘rest” and “take life 
easy,” as it is sometimes expressed. Their lack 
of occupation leads to inactivity, and often they 
become victims of disease and death long before 
these are due. While elderly people should 
“slow down,” yet if unoccupied, they lose the 
stimulation and satisfaction that work gives. 
Work is a valuable means for preventing illness, 
and also a good remedy for some diseases. 

One woman advanced in vears had long been 
an invalid, but she decided that some out-of-door 
work would be beneficial. She began to cultivate 
a few flowers; and even though she became weak 
and dizzy and weary, she found herself gaining 
strength. Then she turned her attention to rais¬ 
ing poultry. These occupations kept her out of 
doors, interest was aroused, and she again en¬ 
joyed good health. 


LENGTHENING SHADOWS 


419 

A man of my acquaintance began life with a 
tendency to tuberculosis. Four of liis elder 
brothers and sisters died of that disease when 
they reached the early twenties. He decided 
that he would live, not die. After an active life, 
at seventy-three years of age, he is still able to 
wield the woodman’s ax or to preach a good ser¬ 
mon. Physical examination declares him to be 
in almost perfect health. 

CHANGES IN THE HOME 

Among the saddest experiences that come to 
the aged is when the life companion is gone, 
and the bereaved one is left to journey alone. 
One mother who was called “the woman- who 
wouldn’t grow old,” thus states how she passed 
through this trial: 

“My arteries have grown a little hard; my heart a little 
slow, but it still pumps good red blood with some of the 
dance of youth in it. Only once, except for weakened mo¬ 
ments here and there, moments that youth also experiences, 
did I feel old. That was when, after forty-three years of 
companionship with one I never ceased to love, I knew 
that I must finish my journey alone. And then I hoped it 
might be a short journey. 

“When I saw the home that we had builded together 
broken up, the little things, trivial to others, but dear to us 
because we had selected them, treasured them, packed away; 
when I saw this — I was an old, old lady. 

“For I was indeed alone. My children were married and 
away. It was decided — by them — that I should make my 
home with my eldest daughter, and visit the others when I 
chose. And though the ‘breaking up’ was done with loving 
hands, it seemed as though it marked the beginning of my 
disintegration. . . . 


420 


THE REAL HOME 


“Yes, then I was old. Too old to be transplanted, I 
thought. No child can understand. It matters not how 
great the love, how beautiful the surroundings, it is then 
that age creeps in and tries to lay one away on the shelf. 
That is the great battle of life.” 

But after a year, this woman rallied, as many 
others have done. She interested herself in the 
affairs of family, church, neighborhood, and 
nation. She became a blessing, not a burden; 
the comforter of many in sorrow and trouble. 

Only those who have long had homes of their 
own, and who are compelled by circumstances 
to live in other homes, can know the shadow that 
creeps into the heart and enshrouds the life. 

Young people sometimes make a mistake in 
bringing father and mother into their homes. 
True, they should always be heartily welcomed 
there; but those who for years have managed 
their own affairs find it difficult to adjust them¬ 
selves to such changes. They do not want to sit 
with folded hands with nothing to do. So fa¬ 
ther may say too much about his son’s business, 
and mother may “meddle” with her daughter’s 
housekeeping. Friction comes in, and the young 
people show they wish no interference, and the 
anxious, active old people carry about a wounded 
heart. 

In that sad day to father or mother when the 

«.4 

house is left desolate, when the life companion 
is laid low and the one who remains is left alone, 
it will be a comfort if the children who are mar¬ 
ried rally round the stricken one with assurances 


LENGTHENING SHADOWS 


421 


of love, and as circumstances demand, give com¬ 
panionship and support. It may be necessary 
for the father to accept the invitation of his 
children to live with them; and while father may 
be a care, he will also be a blessing. But if pos¬ 
sible, father and mother should still remain in 
their own home, for no other will ever seem 
the same. 

“Keep your home, dear mother/’ says Margaret Sang- 
ster, “if you possibly can, and let your children come to 
you. The plainest shelter that belongs to you is a better 
choice than the most luxurious resting place in a home that 
is not yours. In your own house, or in your own small 
apartment, you are free to do as you please, and this you 
will never be if you dwell in another household.” 

DISPOSITION OF PROPERTY 

Sometimes a grave mistake is made by old 
people who have property, in turning it over to 
their children, to receive in return care and a 
home. It would be far better to hold what they 
have, while they live. That which we possess is 
a talent lent of God, and the owner is respon¬ 
sible for its investment. 

It is important that all who have property 
consult proper authority and make a will, or 
better, provision in deed of trust. It should be 
drawn so it will stand the test of the law. 
Everything must be made very clear. Death 
will come no sooner if provision is made for 
this emergency, and those we support may be 
saved much loss and perplexity by the exercise 
of foresight on our part. Wife and children 


TEE REAL HOME 


422 

should not be left destitute. Often an active 
business man dies suddenly, without a moment 
for preparation, and when his business is ex¬ 
amined, it is found in such condition that law¬ 
yers’ fees and other expenses consume a large 
share of that which might have gone to the be¬ 
reaved family. 

We certainly should not delay preparation 
for the future life till we are on our deathbed, 
nor make the mistake of leaving the adjustment 
of business matters till our stewardship is about 
to end. The time to set everything in order is 
before illness and death come. This should 
never be jjostponed. 

In bequeathing property to relatives and 
friends, it is well that we remember our best 
Friend, to whom we owe all we have. God gives 
power to acquire wealth; and all possessions are 
lent to those He makes His stewards, as talents 
to be increased by service. There are many en¬ 
terprises in need of support, those which are 
calculated to bless mankind. 

Old folks are sometimes forgotten by those 
who ought to remember them. There may be a 
heartache in the aged breast because the son or 
daughter does not write; the message hoped for 
did not come; their birthdays were entirely 
forgotten. They feel keenly that they are no 
longer needed, that their opinions are not re¬ 
spected. 

We sometimes see the wistful, yearning won¬ 
der in the eyes when no word is spoken. If the 


LENGTHENING SHADOWS 423 

absent son and daughter could only know how 
the old folks at home would prize a letter, how 
they wait and long for it when it does not come! 
But they are “so busy”! Yes, but father and 
mother were never too busy to come at the call 
of their children. 

Why not send a loving ‘ ‘ night letter ’ ’ ? How 
it would surprise them! Then write oftener — 
the long, newsy letters filled with experiences, 
and telling them of the gratitude you feel for all 
they have done for you. Perhaps a gift now and 
then would not be out of place. Such little at¬ 
tentions make the heart sing for joy. 

“How sharper than a serpent’s tooth 
It is to have a thankless child!” 

BEAUTIFUL OLD AGE 

Some make a botch of old age, instead of 
making it beautiful. They become sour, peevish, 
critical. They bemoan the evil of the times, and 
complain: “It was not so when I was young. 
Then everything was brighter and better.” 

“The wise man does not grow old,” declares 
Victor Hugo, “he ripens.” He is like the lus¬ 
cious autumn fruit. He still loves to minister to 
others, and becomes a safe counselor. The youth 
are warned and strengthened by his influence. 
The children love him. 

Edwin Markham wrote the following poem 
for his friend who was retiring from arduous 
labor after editing the Christian Herald for 
thirty years. We quote in part only: 


424 


THE BEAL HOME 


“Now take a little time to play 
And look at life the other way. 

God rested when the world was made! 
Rest now, old friend; be not afraid. 

“But think not that your work is over, 
That you are now a foot-free rover, 

A rambler upon idle ways, 

Whittling away the golden days; 

Not so, for in God’s rounded plan 
There’s no long furlough for a man. 
There’s no long pause; on every night, 
Another summit swims in sight. 

The long road rises scene by scene, 
With little restings in between. 

Then let me say that every end 
Is only a little secret bend 
In the eternal road we go 
To peaks above from peaks below. 

The yesterdays are shells we shed! 

The best is always on ahead! 

“The wage of work is more work. Ho, 
This is a joy you did not know! 

When earth has labored and men reap, 
Then she turns over and goes to sleep; 
But in her rest she softly dreams 
Of April birds and rushing streams, 

Of leafy nests and blowing wheat, 

And rains that run on silver feet. 

“Old friend, you seeded well your field, 
And God has counted up the yield; 
Now let, for a time, old furrows lie 
To take new tinctures from the sky. 

“Rest for a season, then depart 
To other labors of the heart. 

Young men will turn to you to find 
Peace to emparadise the mind. 

Others will find a power and grace 


LENGTHENING SHADOWS 


425 


\ 


In simply looking on your face. 

Others will gaze and only say: 

‘He won, and yet he went the way. 

Nobly he fought the battle through; 

And what he did, our souls can do/ ” 

“BUT WHAT CAN I DO?” 

This question comes in a quavering voice 
from dear old saints who know that their days 
for deeds of strength are past. They feel they 
are “laid on the shelf,” that they are “has- 
beens,” while all about them they hear calls 
for help and see tasks for which they have no 
sufficiency. 

One old lady was heard to say, ‘ 6 1 cannot even 
write letters now; my sight has failed, and my 
hand is so crippled it can hardly hold the pen.” 

“I wrote texts and placed them in a basket 
which bore the invitation, ‘Please Take One,’ 
said another. “I called them ‘Crumbs of Com¬ 
fort. ’ But — hut it’s beyond me now to do even 
that,” and the aged hands wiped away the blur 
that tears brought to her eyes. 

But there is one avenue of usefulness closed 
to none, however aged or feeble, while life and 
reason remain. 

That avenue is intercessory prayer. 

A widow of great age, named Anna, served 
God with fasting and prayer. Her prophetic 
vision saw needs unseen by younger and more 
active workers. She prayed, and God heard her 
pray, and sent remarkable answers to her 
prayers. None are so old and feeble but that 


i 



THE REAL HOME 


426 

they can pray. They may intercede with God, 
and present to Him names and objects that 
need prayer. 

“Prayer is the key in the hand of faith to 
unlock heaven’s storehouse , where are treasured 
the houndless resources of Omnipotence 

What encouragement is this to pray! The 
aged may use that key. Think of opening the 
“boundless resources of Omnipotence”! In be¬ 
half of all in need, let us pray. 

Those who are old can still smile . Smiles are 
cheap. Anybody can smile. The cheerful smile 
imparts courage to those bearing heavy burdens. 

They can speak the word of courage . So 
many need encouragement! They can cheer 
on the younger workers, and thus share their 
labors. By their example of patience and 
cheerfulness amid hardship and suffering, they 
greatly hearten others. 

Older people can give counsel to the young. 
It may not always be gratefully received, but 
perhaps it will be heeded later on. The inex¬ 
perienced feet must travel the road the veteran 
has traveled. If advice is given, coming not as 
from a dictator but from a friend, it will often 
be remembered and prized. This phase of use¬ 
fulness is thus described by an unknown poet: 

THE BRIDGE 

“An old man, going a long highway, 

Came at the evening, cold and gray, 

To a chasm vast and deep and wide. 

The old man crossed in the twilight dim, 


LENGTHENING SHADOWS 


427 


The sullen stream had no fear for him; 

But he turned when safe on the other side, 

And built a bridge to span the tide. 

‘Old man/ said a fellow pilgrim near, 

‘You are wasting your time with building here; 
Your journey will end with the ending day, 

You never again will pass this way; 

You’ve crossed the chasm deep and wide. 

Why build you this bridge at evening tide V 
The builder lifted his old gray head. 

‘Good friend, in the path I’ve come,’ he said, 

‘There followeth after me to-day 
A youth whose feet must pass this way; 

This chasm, that has been as naught to me, 

To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be; 

He, too, must cross in the twilight dim. 

Good friend, I'm building this bridge for him.’ ” 

Dr. A. J. Gordon met an old man singing. 
“Friend,” said Dr. Gordon, “why should an 
old man be so cheerful?” 

“Not all are,” was the reply. 

“Well, then, why are you?” 

“Because I belong to the Lord.” 

“And are none others happy at your time 
of life?” 

“No, not one, my friendly questioner,” said 
he, and his form straightened. “Listen to the 
truth from one who knows; and no man of three¬ 
score and ten shall be found to deny it: The 
devil has no happy old men ” 

The psalmist prayed: “Cast me not off in the 
time of old age; forsake me not when my 
strength faileth. ... Now also when I am old 
and gray-headed, O God, forsake me not.” 
God’s answer is: “Even to your old age I am 


THE REAL HOME 


428 

He; and even to hoar hairs will I carry yon: I 
have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, 
and will deliver you.” 

During the more active period of life, some 
do not find time for Bible study that they desire. 
That holy Book is the staff of age. If read 
daily, its pages will be as an anchor to keep the 
soul in every perplexity and sorrow. 

“We all do facie as a leaf,” says the prophet 
Isaiah. The time of fading is not a time of wail¬ 
ing to the child of God. He is nearing home. 
Who that has witnessed the closing hours of life 
for the Christian has not exclaimed, “Let me 
die the death of the righteous, and let my last 
end be like his!” 

“Paul the aged” struck the chord of victory 
as he neared the close of earthly life. He ex¬ 
claimed: “I am now ready to be offered, and the 
time of my departure is at hand. I have fought 
a good fight, I have finished my course, I have 
kept the faith: henceforth there is laid up for 
me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the 
righteous Judge, shall give me at that day: and 
not to me only, but unto all them also that love 
His appearing.” 

The executioner’s sword had no terror for 
Paul. He was “ready.” His eye was on the 
“crown,” the reward he was to receive. 


Chapter Twenty-Seven 
THE HOME EVERLASTING 

“One sweetly solemn thought 
Comes to me o’er and o’er: 

I’m nearer home to-day 

Than I ever have been before.” 

O NE evening, a little girl was gazing with 
delight at the brilliant stars shining in the 
darkened sky. Suddenly she exclaimed: 

“I was thinking if the wrong side of heaven 
is so glorious, what must the right side be?” 

Our view of the heavenly home has been 
marred because of sin. We see the u wrong 
side” of heaven. The earthly home, at its best, 
is a type of the better one for which we long. 

On a mountain summit stands a large build¬ 
ing surmounted by a circular dome. Night after 
night, a sleepless watcher points his telescope 
toward the stars and looks into infinite space. 
He studies the secrets of the heavenly bodies, 
and watches suns and worlds and systems, and 
records their movements. 

How far away they seem! Men often inquire 
if other worlds are inhabited. Astronomers 
cannot tell us. Science can only reason from 
conditions in our own earth, and these conditions 
form a basis for speculation only, in which 
astronomers are not agreed. Doubtless other 
worlds like our own were formed to be inkab- 

( 429 ) 


THE REAL HOME 


430 

ited. Definite knowledge must wait for future 
revealings. 

But astronomers do tell us the approximate 
distance and size of many of these luminaries in 
the celestial heavens, such as Sirius, Polaris, 
Arcturus, and others. For instance, it is es¬ 
timated that mighty Antares, of the constella¬ 
tion of Scorpio, has a diameter of 400,000,000 
miles. It would take more than 150,000 beads 
as large as the earth to encircle the great sun. 
Other suns are nearly as large. 

The power of our imagination is inadequate 
to conceive the size of those stupendous heavenly 
bodies. And on, and on, and ox, defying all our 
power to see or our wisdom to comprehend, 
satellites, suns, and systems march in perfect 
order, obedient to the will of their Creator. 

So when we try to understand the truth about 
our home in heaven, ‘ ‘ as yet we see things dimly, 
reflected in a mirror; but then,— face to face! 
As yet knowledge is incomplete; but then [when 
we reach that blest abode] it will be as full as 
God’s knowledge of us is now.” 1 Corinthians 
13:12, Twentieth Century New Testament. 

In ancient times, mirrors were made of pol¬ 
ished metal, which did not give back a perfect 
reflection. One translation of the above text 
reads, “Now we see through a [dim] glass ob¬ 
scurely.” Long ago thin plates of horn, trans¬ 
parent stone, ill-prepared glass, were used in 
windows to admit light through which objects 
might be imperfectly seen. 




THE HOME EVERLASTING 


431 

As the traveler rejoices at the end of a long, 
wearisome journey, as he hastens his steps when 
he sees his native hills, so the Christian who has 
reached the last stage of his earthly pilgrimage 
eagerly inquires, “Are we almost there ?” 

HEAVEN IS A PLACE 

We are traveling to “a country.” This world 
is “a strange country” to those who, like Abra¬ 
ham, look ‘‘ for a city which hath foundations, 
whose builder and maker is God.” 

Those who have died in faith ‘ ‘ confessed that 
they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.” 
This was not their home. They desired “a 
better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore 
God is not ashamed to be called their God: for 
He hath prepared for them a city.” “Here 
have we no continuing city, but we seek one 
to come.” 

HEAVEN IS A HOME 

Those who live in that country form one 
large, loving, united family. None lack “good 
society” there. None but pure, holy beings 
dwell in heaven. “Thy people also shall be all 
righteous.” There is no caste there, and every 
one will have right to the glories, beauties, and 
privileges of that home. 

When we reach that abode, we “shall go no 
more out.” We shall “move no more.” No 
packing and picking up, no loaded van leaving 
the door with our earthly belongings! We shall 
have a permanent home, a residence lacking in 


432 


THE REAL HOME 


nothing that is desirable. The chief joy will be 
that we shall see our best Friend, we shall be 
“forever with the Lord.” 

A PLACE OF REUNION' 

Where the faded flower shall freshen, 

Freshen nevermore to fade; 

Where the shaded sky shall brighten, 

Brighten nevermore to shade; 

Where the sun blaze never scorches, 

Where the star beams cease to chill; 

Where no tempest stirs the echoes 
Of the wood, or wave, or hill; 

Where the morn shall wake in gladness, 

And the noon the joy prolong; 

Where the daylight dies in fragrance, 

Midst the burst of holy song — 

Brother, we shall meet and rest 
With the holy and the blest. 

Where no shadow shall bewilder; 

Where life’s vain parade is o’er; 

Where the sleep of sin is broken, 

And the dreamer dreams no more; 

Where the bond is never severed; 

Partings, claspings, sobs, and moan, 

Midnight waking, twilight weeping, 

Heavy noontide — all are done; 

Where the child has found its mother, 

Where the mother finds her child; 

Where dear families are gathered, 

That were scattered on the wild — 

Brother, we shall meet and rest 
With the holy and the blest. 

— Horatius Bonar. 

FOOD AND CLIMATE 

There will be an abundance of food there. 
No one will be hungry or thirsty, for “they shall 


THE HOME EVERLASTING 433 

hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither 
shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. For 
the Lamb . . . shall lead them unto living foun¬ 
tains of waters. ” 

The climatic conditions will combine and ex¬ 
ceed the best features of the most salubrious 
climate on earth. There will be no tornadoes or 
hurricanes, no thunderstorms, no tempests or 
earthquakes. Through the clear atmosphere, 
multitudes of happy homes can be seen, and 
music will echo and reecho from hill to valley 
through all that fair land. 

UNNECESSARY PROFESSIONS 

No doctors, nurses, dentists, or lawyers will 
be needed there. “The inhabitant shall not say, 
I am sick,” “neither shall there be any more 
pain.” The undertaker’s services will not be 
required, for “there shall be no more death, 
neither sorrow, nor crying.” All have been 
changed from mortality to immortality, and the 
saying has been brought to pass that is written, 
“Death is swallowed up in victory.” 

“that great city” 

Heaven has a grand metropolis. It is a more 
wonderful city than the imagination can con¬ 
ceive. It baffles all powers of description. But 
we have a few of its marvels and beauties made 
known. “The city lieth foursquare.” It is 
three hundred and seventy-five miles in length 
and breadth. It is surrounded by a wall 


28 


434 


TEE REAL HOME 


“ greats and high,” and twelve flashing, glitter¬ 
ing, precious stones form the foundation of this 
wall. On the north, the south, the east, and the 
west, three gates give entrance to the city. 
“And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; every 
several gate was of one pearl.” There is an 
angel guardian at each one; “and the gates . . . 
shall not be shut at all by day: for there shall 
be no night there.” 

No electric power plant lights this great city; 

“for the glory of God did lighten it, and the 

Lamb is the light thereof.” Through its broad 

street flows a glorious living river. On its banks 

is the tree of life, bearing its fresh, luscious fruit 

of different varietv each month. 

•/ 

After reading the description of that city of 
wonders, the poet has attempted thus to de¬ 
scribe it: 

Past the setting of sun stands the city Elysian, 
Unrevealed save to spirits anointed and free, 
Which the chosen behold as a glorified vision 
In splendor unveiled by the crystalline sea,— 

The clear, azure sea,— the wide-flashing sea,— 

The wonderful, odorous, music-toned sea,— 

That flows round the shores of the country of God, 
Which only the feet of His freemen have trod. 

Its walls stand superb in the sunshine eternal; 

Round its turrets in ether the cloud billows curl; 
Not a fair stone is stained by a shadow diurnal, 

And each massive gate is a portal of pearl,— 

One lustrous, great pearl,— a bewildering pearl,— 

A glorious, fathomless, mystical pearl,— 

That haunts me and taunts me with far-off delight, 

In visions of daytide and dreams of the night. 


THE HOME EVERLASTING 


435 


I dream of it often when sickness and sorrow 
Pass over my spirit and scourge as a rod, 

And fill me with longings for some glad to-morrow,— 
Some glimpse of that city whose builder is God,— 
Whose founder is God,— whose maker is God,— 
Where the blest reign forever and ever with God; 
And then how it seems to grow nearer,— so near 
That the strains of its music break low on my ear! 

And then, as its splendors are spread out before me, 
Enchanting my senses, alluring my soul, 

What billows of rapture roll o’er me and o’er me, 

Till earth and its troubles from under me roll; — 
Beneath me they roll,— far away from me roll,— 
As distant as east from the west is their roll; — 

And I seem like a child on the warm, loving breast 
Of a mother who soothes it and lulls it to rest. 

Shall we see it ? Ah, yes! for us it was builded,— 

For us its foundations were measured of old,— 

For us were its turrets of ivory gilded, 

Its battlements burnished with silver and gold,— 
With virginal gold,— with yellow, bright gold,— 
And metals more precious than silver and gold,— 
For us it is waiting who wearily roam 
As aliens afar from our country and home. 

How often — God help us — far from it we wander, 
Our bruised feet marking the way with our blood; 
Of the joys of this life growing fonder and fonder, 

As if over yonder no proud city stood,— 

• No bright city stood,— no light city stood,— 

No royalest, comeliest, white city stood,— 

While we who are heirs of a kingship divine 

Are content with the husks and the huts of the swine! 

— Springfield “Republican.” 

THE VALUE OF A HOME THERE ‘ 

What will a residence in such a city be worth ? 
How much shall we invest in it? It is a part 


436 


THE BEAL HOME 


of the “inheritance . . . reserved in heaven for 
you, who are kept by the power of God through 
faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the 
last time.” 

Have you made your reservation? 

This great city, New Jerusalem, is the queen 
of the new earth. To her, “from one new moon 
to another, and from one Sabbath to another, 
shall all flesh come to worship before Me, saith 
the Lord.” In that holy city, “God is with men, 
and He will dwell with them, and they shall be 
His people, and God Himself shall be with them, 
and be their God.” 

“And the ransomed of the Lord shall return, 
and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy 
upon their heads: they shall obtain joy and glad¬ 
ness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.” 

“For the Lord shall comfort Zion: . . . and 
He will make her wilderness like Eden, and her 
desert like the garden of the Lord; joy and 
gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving, 
and the voice of melody.” 

LIFE IN THE COUNTRY 

The “nations of the saved” who enter the 
city of God may also have residence in the coun¬ 
try. The whole earth will be made new, and 
God’s purpose will be fulfilled that it shall be 
inhabited. There “the desert shall rejoice, and 
blossom as the rose.” 

“Then shall the lame man leap as an hart, 
and the tongue of the dumb sing: for in the 


THE HOME EVERLASTING 437 

wilderness shall waters break out, and streams 
in the desert.” 

“They shall not hurt nor destroy in all My 
holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of 
the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters cover 
the sea.” 

“no more curse” 

The fatal malady which has been the curse of 
our world will be forever cured. Sin shall never 
exist again. The controversy between good and 
evil will eternally end. There will be no more 
death. After millions of years in that holy, 
happy land, there will be as many millions mul¬ 
tiplied by millions more still to live; and on and 
on, ever and forever on through the ages of 
eternity, the inhabitants of that world shall live, 
with the certain knowledge that “they shall die 
no more.” 

We may have a home there. We may invite 
others to go with us. Our children must not be 
left behind; but like Moses, we say, “We will go 
with our young and with our old, with our sons 
and with our daughters . . . will we go.” 

WHERE HEAVEN BEGINS 

Heaven for us must begin on earth. What 
we make our homes here will, in a measure, de¬ 
termine what they will be there. We cannot 
imagine that those who are unfaithful and un¬ 
loving in their home here would be prepared for 
a home in heaven. This life is a training school 


438 


TEE REAL HOME 


where the lessons of patience, fidelity, faithful¬ 
ness, and obedience must be mastered. 

One writer has beautifully said: 4 4 The colored 
sunsets and the starry heavens, the beautiful 
morning and the shining sea, the fragrant woods 
and the painted flowers, are not half so beautiful 
as a soul that is serving Jesus out of love, in the 
wear and tear of everyday, common, and un- 
poetic life.” 

No other work committed to us is so impor¬ 
tant, none other reaches into the future so far, 
no other is so often or so easily marred, as our 
homemaking. The goldsmith works on precious 
stones and metals. The artist skillfully paints 
his canvas. It matters little if their work is not 
entirely perfect; but the imprint our lives and 
characters leaves on human souls with whom we 
associate in the home is as lasting as the ages, 
and it will never — no, never be effaced. 

We must have a home in God’s land. Those 
who have bravely borne the trials and tests of 
life, those who have patiently labored and 
fainted not, will be there. Those who have 
striven to attain highest excellence as husband, 
wife, father, mother, brother, sister, son, and 
daughter, shall, through the merits of Christ 
and by His grace, inherit the home everlasting. 

“0 dear, dear native country! 

0 rest and peace above! - . - 

Christ bring, us all to the Homeland 
Of Thy redeeming love.” 








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